


Never Again

by KinkyKylies



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: F/M, Formula 1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 181,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinkyKylies/pseuds/KinkyKylies
Summary: Love is beautiful, love should be beautiful and feeling safe is not a privilege, but a basic need. When you don't know what to feel, who to trust or who to be, you say to yourself: never again. Until one day you meet someone. A man with blue eyes, the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. Then you ask yourself: never again?





	1. Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fanfiction. English isn't my first language, so feel free to correct me if you find any mistakes!

The sound of applause slowly faded away when everybody left the stage. Keira was beaming and tried to make her way to a group of three people standing in the crowd. They were smiling and one of them came running up to her. She felt two arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She looked up and saw the face of her younger sister Louise, who had tears all over her face.

'I'm so proud of you sis!' she said excitedly.

Keira smiled and finally felt a little bit proud. She had done it, she finally graduated. She already knew for a couple of days, but holding the diploma in her hand made it more real.

**Keira O'Donnell**

**Mechanical Engineering**

Nobody could take this away from her and she felt happy, something that hadn't been the case for a long time. Looking down at the diploma she smiled, this was the start of something new, something exciting. She couldn't wait to finally start working, college was fine, but it was time for a new challenge. While hugging her sister she could see her parents standing a few meters back. They looked so proud, especially her father. Without them she couldn't have done it, they always had total faith in her and they always encouraged her to follow her dreams. Her father being an aviation engineer fuelled her interest in engineering already at a young age. She always imagined herself following in her father's footsteps, although he always told her that she didn't have to. That's why she was so fond of her parents, their support meant everything and she always felt free to pursue whatever her interests were.

She slowly let go of her sister and made her way over to her parents. They also hugged her and she could see tears in her father's eyes, although he tried to cover them up. She giggled, he always tried to look tough, but she knew he was a big softie. She gave both her parents a kiss and looked around the room. The room was full of people in the same situation as her, all proudly in possession of an engineering diploma. Proud families were filling the seats or were hugging their children, they all looked happy and content. A lot of the students received flowers or even gifts and all looked ready to take on the world. This was one of those days which you would remember when you're old and are looking back on your life.

She looked around to find a glimpse of her two best friends. She had met Abby and Tom during her first week at college. The first week had been tough, having moved from Belfast to London had been a big change and she didn't know anyone. She had been sitting alone and hadn't had the courage to talk to someone, so she had sat quietly and observed the people around her. Most people had looked nervous, but also excited to finally start college. All their stuff was new and people proudly had showed of their new laptops and books. Tom had been sat in front of her and had looked surprisingly calm, almost like it wasn't new for him. Later she learned it was his second year at college, he had switched to Mechanical Engineering after his first year. She had been so absorbed in observing people that she hadn't noticed her notebook laying dangerously on the edge of her table. When she had wanted to take a water bottle out of her bag, she had accidentally knocked the notebook of her table. With a look of horror on her face she had seen it drop right on the boy in front of her. He had yelped in surprise and had turned to look for where it came from, she had felt horrible and her cheeks had turned bright red. He had seen the look of horror on her face and had let out a little chuckle. He had held out his hand and Keira had shaken it shamefully, still with a smile on his face he had given her the notebook back.

'Hi, I'm Tom.'

'Hi,' she had sputtered. She still had felt ashamed and a lot of people had looked at her.

'You could've just asked my name, you know,' he had said. Although the corners of his mouth had turned into a grin.

'I'm sorry,' she had answered still looking mortified.

'And you are?'

'Oh, I'm Keira, Keira O'Donnell.'

'Nice to meet you Keira. You are from Ireland?' he had asked after hearing her name.

'No, Northern Ireland, but my father's from Ireland,' she had smiled and finally had felt her cheeks returning to its normal colour.

'Close, it's on the same island,' that was true she had thought.

After that they had ended up in a conversation about their past and how they had ended up here. Keira had told him she grew up in Belfast with her sister Louise and her parents. He had told her about him growing up in the outskirts of London. For the first time that week she had felt less nervous and ready to start this new chapter of her life. Tom was very laid back and easy to talk to and she quickly had found out he had the same interests. Although he was interested in cars, instead of her being interested in aviation. They had ended up eating lunch together and from that point on they were friends.

Abby she had met during class, she had been sat next to her and she had reminded her of her sister. She had the same blonde hair and the same facial features. Abby had noticed her looking and had introduced herself.

'Hi, I'm Abby. You?' she had asked spontaneously.

'Hi, I'm Keira.'

'Keira Knightley?'

'No, unfortunately not,' she had chuckled.

With that their friendship had been born and they almost had became inseparable immediately. They could talk about everything and always had fun going out together. Boys had been discussed almost weekly and they would rate every boy on a scale of one to ten. They always borrowed each other's clothes and held regularly sleepovers at Abby's or at hers. Abby was very outgoing, while she was always rather shy. However going out with Abby had boosted her confidence, especially when Tom had came along too, as they could push her out of her comfort zone to have fun. She had appreciated the effort of her friends and was glad that college hadn't been only revising and hard work. Keira smiled when she remembered it all, she was lucky to have such good friends.

Her eyes were still scanning the room to find her friends when she was ambushed from behind. She screamed and turned around, only to find the laughing face of her friend Abby. She sighed, because it was typical Abby behaviour.

'We did it, we really, really, really did it!' she yelled while swinging Keira around.

'I know, we aren't as stupid as we look!' she yelled back.

'Now we are grownups.'

'You both still don't behave like ones,' snorted Louise who was still standing beside Keira.

'Shut up!' both Keira and Abby said. They looked at each other and laughed, Louise was right, they had some growing up to do.

'Come on, let's go find Tom,' Abby pulled Keira's arm and led her through the crowd.

Keira's parents smiled when they saw their excited daughter leaving with her best friend. They knew how tight their friendship was and hadn't seen her so happy for a long time. Keira spotted Tom first and yelled his name, while swinging her arms above her head. He looked around to spot the source of the yelling and his eyes lit up when he saw the two girls running towards him. He opened his arms and pulled them into a hug, he also looked very excited. However, when Keira felt their friends so close to her, she also realised that this was also one of the last times they would be together. Abby had already landed a job at Boeing and Tom was going to work in some kind of motorsport series. She was the only one who still hadn't decided what exactly she wanted to do after college. Unfortunately, graduating meant that they would all move somewhere else and leave the safe place that college had became behind.

Keira felt the tears well up in her eyes and it was not long before the tears were streaming over her cheeks. She was not ready to leave it all behind yet, as she had became very depended on her friends, especially during the difficult times the last few months. She had found herself staying over at their houses more and more and only they had been able to make her laugh and forget. Abby also started crying and Keira felt Tom trying to hold his tears back, although not very successfully. They stood there for a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours, it felt so good to be close to them. Abby was the first to let go and mumbled something about not wanting to screw up her make-up. Keira was able to put on a watery smile and assured herself this would not be the end.

\----------

It was rather noisy in the restaurant, due to a lot of families celebrating graduation. Keira saw a lot of familiar faces and stopped a few times to say hello and to congratulate them. She spotted the table were Abby and her family were already positioned and she pointed to the table when her mother asked where they had to go. Her mother and her father disappeared in the right direction and she spotted her sister still talking to one of her friends. Keira looked to her right where David, her boyfriend, was standing, looking a bit lost. She immediately felt a bit guilty, because he hadn't graduated this year. He had fallen behind a couple of months ago and hadn't been able to catch up. That's when the problems had started, resulting in him going out during the week, drinking way too much and becoming agitated about the smallest things. She blamed it on the pressure that had came with the last year of college, but it had put a very heavy strain on her. The last few months had been tough and they had ended up fighting almost every day. She now felt like a stranger at home, especially when she felt like she hadn't done anything wrong. She sighed and took his hand, she knew it wasn't easy for him and she wanted to at least make it a happy evening for once. He looked at her and gave her a little smile, which she returned half heartedly.

Dinner was very enjoyable, a lot of stories were shared about the past few years. Not all were suitable for their parents to hear, but they were maybe a bit too drunk so their judgment was a bit clouded. It brought back a lot of forgotten memories and they all realised how much they had enjoyed their college experience. Keira was glad to see that David was participating in the conversations, as it reassured her that everybody was having a great time. She smiled at the potato on her fork and it reminded her of that time they had ended up in a potato fight at her house. Everybody had ended up with a lot of bruises, but it had been fun nevertheless.

It hadn't been as bad as the time they had ended up with several trays of broken eggs on the walls and furniture. They had tried to bake a cake, but Tom had experienced some trouble breaking the eggs. Abby had tried to show it to him, but had been a bit too enthusiastic. The egg had ended up on Tom's shirt and naturally he hadn't been amused. Before they could do anything, Abby's hair had been full of egg. It had made Keira chuckle, as the look of horror on Abby's face had been priceless, although her laughing had made Abby throw an egg at Keira. That had started a whole egg fight, needless to say that the cake never got baked. They had decided on just buying one and had received confusing looks from other customers in the store, because they had been still covered in egg. Cleaning up had not been as much fun, but the house had ended up cleaner than before the egg fight. So it had been beneficial, in the end, or that's what they had told themselves.

'Keira, do you remember when we had to hand in that paper, but we forgot?' Tom's question brought Keira back to the conversation.

'You forgot to hand in a paper?' asked Rose, her mother, being alarmed.

'Oh, yeah, we forgot. It was very stupid, because we actually had finished it,' Keira said happily.

'What happened?' Tom's father asked.

'Oh, Keira told our professor she just found out that she was pregnant and that's why she forgot to hand it in. Her crying was very convincing,' Tom said nonchalantly.

Keira heard her mother gasp and she grinned, the story was true. It had been rather convenient that her acting skills were not that bad.

'You did not!' Rose said, 'that's very-'

'Smart,' George, her father, finished.

That earned him a look of disgust from Rose. He smiled mischievously and the rest of the table laughed. Her father had always been the joker of the family and she liked that about him. Especially when her mother felt embarrassed by his jokes. Her sister was especially good in provoking her mother and her father always happily joined in. Her sister had always been the most extravagant of the two of them. She envied her ability to just go up to people and talk to them or to stand up for herself. Her sister was only two years younger than herself, but she was already more at ease with the world than she was. She always hoped that one day she could be more like her sister, especially her looks, because she was naturally blonde and had the best pair of cheekbones she had ever seen. Her own reddish brown hair looked rather dull next to her and it showed their Irish descent. That always gave people reason to insult her, for whatever reason. Her sister also got a lot of male attention and she didn't mind one bit. She always had boys around her, although she went through them quite fast. Not that she wanted to do the same, but she would like to be less awkward around people. She smiled, her sister was one of the best persons in the world and she would do everything to protect her. Not that she needed it, but she wouldn't let anyone hurt her nevertheless.

\----------

Keira let out a tired yawn while she kicked off the heels she was wearing, it had been a really long day. A very nice day, but also very exhausting. All the official ceremonies and dinner afterwards had really worn her out and she longed for her bed that was waiting for her upstairs.

'Are you coming upstairs?' she asked David who was also taking off his shoes.

'In a bit, I'm going to watch some TV,' he answered while shrugging his shoulders.

'It is 1:00 AM, why not go to bed?'

'Not tired.'

'OK, fine, but please keep the volume down, I'm really tired,' she sighed.

She got no answer and David had already disappeared into the kitchen. She climbed the stairs whilst she already heard the sound of the fridge opening and a bottle of beer being opened. She closed her eyes, trying not to shout something to David in the kitchen. He already had enough to drink during dinner as he had drunk more than anybody else. No one really had noticed, but she had kept a sharp eye on his alcohol consumption. He thought she hadn't noticed, but she always did, be it for the sudden change of moods. She decided that she was too tired to go into this discussion again and went to the bedroom. She got out of her dress, took off her make-up and got into the shower. The warm water on her skin made her feel alive, it took away some of her worries and it drowned out the sound of the television downstairs. She didn't want to get out, but she knew that she would fall asleep in the shower if she didn't. Yes, she already had that experience once and it wasn't really a nice one.

She slipped under the covers and positioned herself so that the duvet covered every bit of her body, she loved that feeling of protection. She tried not to notice the empty space next to her and tried to ignore the sound of the television, that was louder than when she went upstairs. Now was not the time to worry or to be angry, she just wanted to sleep. She closed her eyes and thought about all the good times she had had with her friends, with a smile on her face she fell asleep.


	2. Confrontation

It had been several days since graduation and life quickly had gotten back to normal, except from going to university of course. It felt rather strange for Keira to not go there anymore and she picked up extra shifts at work to fill the empty days. David had enrolled in some extra courses, to keep himself on track for next year, so he wasn't home very often. Life between them had been difficult though, he was normal during the day, but in the evening when he started drinking he made sure to make her feel guilty. He then accused her of being a distraction or even deliberately sabotaging his revising so she would look good compared to him. Keira knew that none of that was true of course, she had tried to help him as much as she could during the last couple of months, but he always snapped at her when she had tried to explain something. So she had made sure to keep quiet and had found herself visiting Abby or Tom more often during the evenings.

She had helped them prepare for their new jobs and prepare for their new lives, because both would be moving within two weeks. She still couldn't believe that this was it, that they would never again sit together to work or revise. Although she was very happy for them, they landed their dream jobs quite early, she also envied their success. Maybe dream job wasn't the right word, but they would be able to grow within the company and move on to the position they would really like. She was more enthusiastic about Abby's job, naturally, because aviation was also her field of expertise. Sometimes she felt jealous, because they had been able to find a job so quickly and she had not. She herself had sent out a couple of resumes, but she knew that something was holding her back. Not quite sure of herself yet and she didn't really know if she was ready for the big, scary world.

Keira found herself staring at the information screen, not really taking in when exactly her bus would arrive. It didn't really matter, because all the busses would take her to the right place. It was nice to take up a couple of more hours at work, as it kept her busy, but she also really liked her job and therefore her colleagues. It wasn't a high demanding job, but the environment was really enjoyable and she had grown fond of the regular customers. Also getting up to date with all the college gossip was always something that amused her. Charlotte was the manager, but she didn't really look or act like it and she was the one closest to Keira while having the natural ability to get stories out of people. Sometimes the gossip was too good to be true and they would spent hours laughing and discussing the people involved. A couple of customers would even chip in during these conversations, they would remember the good old days when they had been in college or were just interested in what people got up to these days. All in all, she really liked her job.

'Hey Keira, right on time!' Keira swung open the door of the cafe and saw Charlotte waving at her.

'Yes, as always,' she said. That was true, she always was on time, because she hated being late.

'You'll keep up your 100% record of being on time then,' Charlotte turned to Michael, 'that's something you would never achieve,' she said dangerously.

'But you still love me,' he smirked.

Keira chuckled, she knew that was also true. She spotted Michael smiling innocently at Charlotte and she gasped while throwing her arms in the air.

'You'll get me bankrupt one day!' with that Charlotte disappeared behind the counter and left Keira and Michael behind.

Keira took off her coat and put it away, Michael threw her an apron and she quickly put it on. It was still early and there weren't many customers yet. She knew that in the next thirty minutes the regulars and commuters would come in and it would get busy. That part she always liked, the busy hours where people would crave for a good cup of coffee and were on their way to work. It kept her occupied and her head empty, also time went by rather quickly.

She felt Michael giving a friendly slap on her shoulder and that made her wince. She tried to hide her face, so Michael wouldn't see it. It was necessary that no one would see it, because that would raise awkward questions. She felt the pain slowly fade away and made her way to the bathroom. When she stood in front of the mirror she pushed away the fabric of her shirt. A deep purple bruise was visible on her shoulder, still looking fresh and quite large. Keira shivered, it wasn't a nice sight, but luckily she could hide it well. Studying her face she tried to make it look happy, or even just normal, as it was very important that no one would notice. In everyone's eyes David was perfect, the boyfriend everybody wants and a very caring character. She knew this was true, but people didn't often see his other side, when he had too much to drink.

This particular bruise was from two days ago when they had ended up in an argument. Keira had been woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of broken glass. She had gone downstairs to see what the problem was and she had found David in the middle of the kitchen, cursing. He had dropped one of the bottles of beer which he was holding in his hand. He had looked drunk and his coordination hadn't been exactly what it should have been. Keira hadn't said anything, but just had cleaned up the mess he had made. When she had tried to take the bottles which hadn't been smashed away from him, he had punched her. He had missed her face, but her shoulder had gotten hit instead, it did still hurt. The next day he had apologised profusely and she had accepted it. It was clear that he hadn't been in his right mind when he had punched her and had not meant to hurt her. Keira sighed when she remembered that night, it hadn't been a particularly nice one.

'How's life going now you graduated?' Michael sounded cheerful.

'A bit strange really, it's weird to think that I'm never going back there.'

'Have you already applied for a job? I think it's right to think you're going to leave us,' he said sadly while pouting slightly.

'Not immediately, don't you worry. I have sent out some resumes and looked up several companies, but I'm still not quite sure what exactly I want to do. Something in aviation, but that's so huge!' Keira chuckled when she saw Michael's sad face. She pulled him into a hug and he happily hugged her back.

'Don't you worry, you'll find something quite soon. I bet they are all queuing up to employ you, you are so smart!'

'I don't know, I'm afraid they wouldn't like me or that I screw up,' she sighed.

'Nonsense, I've never met anyone else who is as loyal as you are. It will all be fine, just wait. You have a job right now, so you shouldn't hurry!'

Keira smiled, Michael was right, she would still earn enough money to pay her rent now that she could work more hours. It was key to find a job she would enjoy, not just accept any job because they would want to hire her. She quietly thanked Michael in her head, he was always able to cheer her up.

'How's Emma? Did she also graduate?' Keira remembered something about his girlfriend also graduating, although she wasn't sure if that was true.

'Yes, she did! Was the best of her year,' he said proudly.

'So, also looking for a job?'

'Yeah, I think so, although she is a bit preoccupied with partying nowadays,' he laughed.

Keira knew how Emma was, she was always in a party mood and had more than once came into the cafe to get Michael to go to some fancy party. He didn't mind, he was also quite a party animal and would take up any chance to go out, they were a perfect fit. Keira saw Charlotte coming back from behind the counter and quickly got on with making a customer's order.

'All going well?' Charlotte checked.

'Yes, calm before the storm as we call it,' Keira smiled.

'You still have fifteen minutes before it gets really busy,' Charlotte said while checking her watch.

'Time for some gossip then!' Michael shot Charlotte his best impression of a mischievous smile.

Keira giggled, this was something they did every time they were working together. They now knew almost everyone at college or the customers which came into the cafe.

'You know Miss Brown, right?' Charlotte began.

'The one who always sits at the table at the window?' Keira replied.

'Yes, that one,' Charlotte nodded.

'Go on!' Michael said eagerly.

'When I went shopping the other day I saw her following Mister Johnson. When he entered a shop, she did. When he grabbed a bite to eat at a bakery, she did too. She never was more than a couple of meters behind him. When he got on a bus, she got on the same one. I still don't understand he didn't notice!'

'She didn't!' both Keira and Michael looked at Charlotte with wide eyes.

Miss Brown was a very quiet woman and was always sat at a specific table at the window. One day when she had came in her table had already been taken and she quickly had gone out again without ordering coffee. They had made fun of her for that, just a little, or not. She looked a bit like a hippie, a very quiet one, but one that didn't really know what a hippie was. On the other hand, Mister Johnson was a gentleman, quite a bit older than her though. Always in a suit and looked like he was working in a bank, maybe he was, but they didn't know. They couldn't put two more different people together then these two.

'What do you think? Was it deliberate or was it just coincidence?' Charlotte was cleaning the counter top, while looking at the others.

'Definitely deliberate, she always looks quite strange. I wonder what she was up to,' Keira answered as their eyes locked and they ended up giggling in silence, because they didn't want to disturb the customers.

'I hope we find out sooner rather than later! Maybe we have to put them together, accidentally,' Michael was always up for a bit of controversy.

They agreed that they would try to get them together and to find out what exactly was up between them. They didn't even know if Mister Johnson was aware of the whole situation and maybe that would end up in something hilarious. It was not long before the cafe became swamped with customers and it was finally time to get to work.

\----------

'Hey, wait up!' Keira heard Michael's voice coming from behind.

She stood still and turned around, she had just left the cafe to go home.

'Want to go for a drink?' he asked her while putting his arm in hers.

'Yeah, why not?' she answered him with a smile.

They walked to their favourite pub and saw that it was already quite busy, a lot of business men and women liked to go out before returning home. Michael opened the door for her and led her to the bar.

'Two pints, please,' he asked the lady behind the bar.

This was something they did quite often, so they all knew each other's order. She gladly accepted the pint Michael handed to her and looked around the pub. They were rather underdressed, although that was rather strange in a pub. She could see a few ties being loosened and also several buttons on shirts being opened, it all contributed to the cosy and lazy atmosphere. In the corner there was quite a large and loud entourage, it was clear that they weren't business men, they were also a lot younger than business people. One voice sounded rather familiar to Keira, but she couldn't find a familiar face in the group. She turned her head towards Michael, who had finished his pint already. He chuckled when he saw her looking and shrugged his shoulders.

'Thirsty,' with that he ordered another drink. 'You want another one too?'

Keira showed him her glass that was still half full.

'You are a very slow drinker,' he sighed.

'I just appreciate the taste, I'm not much of a heavy drinker. You know I hate getting drunk.'

'That's true, although I can remember that time-'

'Ok, that's enough,' Keira interrupted him, she had gone rather pink, 'that has never happened as far as I'm concerned.'

At that moment Keira felt a hand on her shoulder, she quickly turned around to see David standing there. So that's why she heard a familiar voice, she thought. She looked up and could see immediately that he wasn't in a good mood, she felt her muscles stiffen. Looking down was something of a habit, because she hated that look in his eyes.

'What are you doing here? And who is _this_?' he barked at Keira and she crumpled in her seat.

Michael looked rather alarmed at both their actions and didn't know what to make of it. 'Hi, I'm Michael, a colleague of Keira's,' he held out his hand for David to shake it.

He didn't shake it and looked suspiciously at Michael. 'Why are you here with my girlfriend?' he almost spat at Michael.

'Just going out for a drink and discussing our day at work,' Michael raised an eyebrow and was visibly not impressed with David's behaviour towards him.

'I'm sorry,' Keira said timidly.

'Why should you be sorry, what's wrong with going out for a drink?' Michael still wasn't impressed.

'Yeah, just going out for a drink. Is that what you tell yourself? I know that you want to get her in bed,' David had raised his voice and several people where now looking at them.

Keira felt ashamed, she hated David being like this in public.

'Mate, I have my own girlfriend, I don't need yours. I'm very happy with mine and I just like going out for drinks with _friends,_ ' Michael made sure to lay focus on the word friends.

David still looked angry and it was obvious that he didn't believe one worked Michael had just said. Keira looked from one to the other and wasn't really sure what to say or to do.

'Are you coming?' David asked angrily.

Keira hadn't heard the first question, but it was obvious that David wanted her to go home with him. She quietly got off her chair and followed David outside. Looking over a shoulder she tried to say sorry to Michael, who still was sitting on his chair, but looking rather dumbfounded. Keira sighed, it had been a good day, but this had ruined it for her, again. She felt David's hand in hers, but it wasn't a gentle grip, it felt like she wasn't allowed to let go. It was so different from how she had felt six months ago, then she had felt safe and secure while holding hands, now it was quite the opposite. She hoped to be home soon, then she could get into the shower and feel the hot water burn on her skin. One day it would get better she assured herself, she closed her eyes and kept walking.


	3. Bruises

Keira woke up with an aching feeling in her back, she tried to turn around to make the pain go away. It didn't help much and she sighed, trying to get up to get something for the pain. Her wrists were also really painful when she tried to get out of bed. When she sat up she saw David still sleeping next to her and slowly the images of last night came back to her. She felt sick and tried to stand up, now she also felt pain in her legs so she quickly sat down again. Trying to close her mind to the images of last night she tried to stand up again, at first it was a bit wobbly, but she managed to get to the bathroom. She quickly closed the door behind her and made sure it was locked. Slowly with her back against the door she sank to the ground, feeling tears well up in her eyes. She forbid herself to waste tears on the subject, she had done it before and it hadn't made her feel any better. Being weak was not something she wanted to portray, although she knew no one could see her here.

Last night had been horrible, they had ended up in a fight again, although she couldn't really remember why. She had been watching TV on the couch and David had came home really late. He had stumbled through the door and that's when she had known he was drunk. Her body had stiffened and she had put one of the cushions of the sofa on her lap, to protect herself. When she now thought about it she had to laugh, a cushion would never protect her, not from David. He had sat down next to her on the sofa and had tried to kiss her, she however had politely declined. He had tried again and she had refused also the second attempt. He had sounded angry when he had asked her what she thought she was doing. She had told him he was too drunk and then he had started screaming at her. He had told her he wasn't drunk and he just wanted to have a good time with his girlfriend and that it was his right to do so. Reluctantly she had accepted his third try, but it had all felt really wrong. After a few seconds she had pulled back and had tried to focus on the television. It was then that he had grabbed her wrists rather violently, she remembered that it had hurt, a lot. He had pushed her down on the sofa and had sat on top of her, while trying to kiss her again. She had pleaded to make him stop and had tried to push him away, but he had been too strong. His kisses had became painful and he had bit her tongue and lips several times so that they had bled.

Keira shivered when she heard a knock on the door and David's voice coming from the other side.

'Keira, are you in here?' his voice sounded soft and friendly.

'Yes,' she answered, 'I'm going to shower before I go to work.'

'OK, no problem. Can you let me know when you're done? I would also like a shower.'

She gave him the confirmation he was after and closed her eyes again. She had been afraid that he would yell at her again, but in the morning everything went back to normal, as always. Her back was hurting against the door, but she didn't make an effort to get into the shower, she was too tired and her body hurt too much. She remembered what came after the bleeding lips last night, he had pinned her down on the sofa when she had tried to escape. He had yelled and slapped her when she had moved. She had been violently turned onto her stomach and her pants had been pulled off shortly after. Without having to guess she had known what was coming and it wasn't going to be pleasant. She had tried to escape again, what had led to a hard smack on her back. Crying out in pain she had felt her underwear being torn of her body without her consent. Before she could have done anything else she had felt him inside her, her tears had intensified when this new source of pain had hit her. It had been extremely painful, but he wouldn't listen to her yells to make him stop. She had tried to close her mind, but the tears had kept coming and her whole body had felt rather numb. When he finally had been done and had let her go, she had gone upstairs to take a shower. Not making it to the shower she had sat down, exactly where she was sitting now. The feelings from last night flowed back and she couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

She quickly got up and turned on the shower, before David could hear her cry and come back. She took off the pyjama she was wearing, she had became too afraid to sleep naked, not sure if that would get David any ideas when he finally went to bed at night. She saw her naked body in the mirror next to her and was afraid to look. However, she slowly made her way to the mirror to observe her bruised body. The bruise on her back was the largest, but also the one which she could cover up best. On her arms were a few old bruises still visible and those she could hide with wearing long sleeves. The problem were the new bruises on her wrists, they had turned purple after the force David had used last night. She decided that she should wear the widest bracelets she could find and the shirt with the longest sleeves. Not quite sure if that would do the job she went in the shower, trying to think of something to hide her mistakes.

\----------

'Hey babe, are you hungry?' David was standing in the kitchen when Keira walked in.

'Yes, kind of,' she said hesitantly. She still wasn't really sure how his mood was and didn't want to say anything to upset him. He looked at her while smiling and she sighed in relief. While taking a seat at the kitchen table, she saw him cracking a few eggs into a frying pan.

'Eggs?' he asked.

'Yes please,' Keira said carefully.

'With bacon?'

'Yes please,' repeated Keira.

'I knew it, you would never say no to bacon,' he chuckled.

She stuck her tongue out at him. 'Bacon is tasty on everything!'

'One day you'll turn into a pig, you know that right?' he said playfully.

Keira threw the paper that was on the table in front of her at his head, he ducked and caught the paper. She smiled, she never was any good in throwing stuff, she had been the worst in PE at school. The paper landed in front of her and she turned around. David was now stirring into the pan and she could already smell the bacon, best smell ever. She opened the paper and started to read, it was nice to have a quiet moment in the morning to start the day. She found it very important to keep up with what's happening in the world and she quickly was engulfed in an article about a new bridge being build nearby. She didn't even notice the plate that David had put in front of her.

'Hey, eat! Otherwise it'll get cold,' he pulled the paper away from her.

'Hey, give that back!' she tried to snatch the paper back.

'Only if you'll start eating.'

She nodded and David gave back the paper. They were sat in silence for a while when Keira was reading the paper and David was typing on his phone. These were the moments Keira enjoyed, this was what she had envisioned when she thought about people living together. It had been so good the first few months when they had moved in together. They had thrown parties, stayed up late together, cooked dinner and even had played board games. All those things didn't happen anymore and she was happy when they could have moments such like this morning at all. Enjoying each other's company was something that became harder every day, Keira found herself being afraid when she was alone in a room with David. She knew that it wasn't healthy, but she didn't really know how to change it. These moments like breakfast showed here that the David she loved was still there, that he still could make her smile and that he knew her. She sighed and finished her breakfast, it tasted delicious and she smiled when she realised he had put extra bacon on her eggs.

\----------

The sun was shining and there was a certain glow covering the streets of London. Summer definitely had arrived and everything immediately looked more beautiful. Keira was on her way to work and had decided to walk. It would clear her head and she loved observing people walking to their chosen destination. People were already in dresses and shorts, it was clear that everybody enjoyed the first rays of sunlight. It had been a long time since the weather had been this nice and the days slowly getting longer kept people on the streets until late on the day. Keira passed one of her favourite parks, she had visited it regularly during the last couple of years. Often just with a book to read in peace, but also often to study or to catch up with Tom and Abby.

She longed to lay down on the grass and to relax, while feeling the sun on her skin. She made a mental note to go back in a couple of days to have a moment for herself. There were a few squirrels hopping around, trying to steal pieces of food from the people who were enjoying their time at the park. She loved animals, they all looked so innocent and the fluffy part definitely helped. One day she would get a dog, or ten. Laughing at her own imagination she continued on her way. Definitely ten dogs, maybe even eleven.

She pushed open the door and stepped into the little cafe. She already missed the feeling of warmth from the sun on her skin. She liked working, but she liked being outside even more. Now the weather was getting better is was also a lot busier on the terrace outside. She would make sure that if people needed to be served outside, it would be her that served them. Michael was already there and she saw Charlotte being in conversation with a customer. She greeted them both and put on her apron. It wasn't as busy as normal, because a lot of people were outside and just bought a coffee on the go. She didn't mind, she thought the people who were still inside were crazy.

'Hey, how's it going?' Michael asked.

He hadn't brought up what had happened at the pub when they had met again, but since then he always sounded somewhat concerned. She tried not to notice and just act like nothing had happened.

'Fine, you?' she smiled.

'Nothing new, unfortunately. I would rather be outside, than be in here,' he answered with a sad look on his face.

'Same, I chose to walk today because the weather was so lovely.'

'I wish I could do that, but that would take too long. Such a pity.'

'You know, you could just leave home earlier,' Keira said nonchalantly.

Michael laughed and handed a coffee to one of the customers.

'You know it's rare for me to be on time, if I have to walk, then I think I'll be an hour late each time. Charlotte would kill me.'

'Why would I kill you this time?' an exasperated voice came from behind them.

'He forgot to order new coffee beans, we are out of coffee,' Keira said with a mischievous smile in Michael's direction.

'Why do I even pay you if you never do what I ask you to do!' Charlotte cried.

Michael shot Keira a dirty look and reassured Charlotte that they in fact hadn't run out of coffee beans. Charlotte looked relieved and went to clean the tables, while muttering something Michael couldn't hear under her breath. Keira could hear what she had said and chuckled, she had always suspected that Charlotte had hired Michael for his looks. It was true that he brought in many customers and he was always flirty, to make sure they came back. It was very effective and Charlotte happily agreed with his tactics. Although Keira expected that Charlotte secretly had a thing for Michael, she would never admit it. Such a shame she thought, they would make a perfect couple. Maybe one day when Michael was single again she could set them up in some kind of way.

'Cappuccino?' Keira had just made a coffee but the customer was nowhere to be seen. She wanted to put down the coffee when someone suddenly grabbed her wrist. She yelled out in pain and the coffee slipped out of her hands. There was a look of horror in her eyes when she saw the coffee fall to the ground and the coffee spilling everywhere.

'I'm so, so sorry,' she said to the customer who had grabbed her wrist. It was a tall, brown haired guy, which was extremely good looking. She groaned, this was even more embarrassing.

'No, I'm sorry, I didn't want to give you a fright,' he said with a soft voice.

'I'll make you a new one, hang on,' Keira turned around to make a new coffee. This time he would get a large one, to make up for het stupid mistake. She hadn't seen it coming and she cursed herself for dropping the coffee. She saw Michael look at her with a knowing look and quickly turned her attention back on the coffee. He couldn't know and he shouldn't know, she had to be more careful from now on. This time she made sure to put the coffee on the counter before trying to locate the customer. Not that it was necessary, the good looking guy was still waiting for his coffee. He smiled when she offered him the coffee.

'Thanks, I'm sorry for the fuss,' he said with an apologetic smile.

'Really, it wasn't your fault, don't worry. It's not the first time it happened!'

'Would you like to go out for a coffee together sometime?' he asked hopefully.

'I'm sorry, I don't think my boyfriend would approve if I go out with other good looking guys,' Keira said, while being mortified with herself for saying out loud that he was good looking. His mouth had turned into a cheeky smile, but she also saw some kind of disappointment.

'Too bad, all the beautiful girls are always taken.'

Keira felt her cheeks turn red and looked down at her hands. She heard him laugh and he gave her a wink before leaving with the new coffee in his hands. It was then she heard someone wolf whistle behind her, of course it was Michael. She turned around and gave him a disapproving slap on his arm.

'Shsss, be quiet!' she demanded.

'What's wrong with getting some attention?' he raised his eyebrows.

'I have a boyfriend, remember?' Keira sounded exasperated, but she saw that specific look on Michael's face, that same face he had given her when she had dropped the coffee.

'You could do so much better than that dick,' he said, still giving Keira that look.

'No, not really and I love him, so that's that,' Keira still couldn't bring herself to look Michael in the eyes. She was afraid that he would see the hurt, that pain David had caused her during the last months. But she did love him, that wasn't a lie. Confusion set in and she didn't know what to think, so she sighed and turned back to serve a waiting customer. With a smile on her face she went to make his order. This time she made sure to not let anyone touch her, no one could find out about her secret.

After her shift Keira was walking back home. The weather was still perfect and the sight of the setting sun was beautiful. Children were playing and she found herself looking at a pair chasing a squirrel. It was an adorable sight and she thought how good it would be to be young again, to not have to worry about anything. Just going to school and after school playing with your friends. She slowly continued her way home, going slower every step she got closer to home. Unknowingly the fear had returned, the fear of not knowing what to get home to or not knowing what she had to endure when she got home. She wasn't thinking about that, she was still observing the people on the streets and imagining were they were going and how their lives would be like. They all looked like having a place to go to and were happily chatting amongst each other or were, like she did, observing the other people going by. She smiled, she was glad summer had arrived.


	4. Moving

'Shit,' Keira said out loud.

She was standing in the bathroom, the only safe place in her house it seemed. A bruise was starting to form on her left cheek, she could see the skin turning a pale purple. She was hoping that it wouldn't get any worse, as it hadn't been the hardest of blows this time. It had still hurt, but she knew it could be much worse. The pain in her thighs was more painful, the force David had used to pull them apart had left dark purple bruises. She didn't really worry about them, because her trousers would hide them for her. There were some problems though, the weather outside became warmer each day and soon she wouldn't be able to wear long sleeves anymore without being asked uncomfortable questions. Without looking she grabbed some foundation from the bathroom cabinet and made herself busy putting it on. She normally didn't wear any make-up, but in the past few months she had became rather depended on it. A lot of little accidents had happened and the make-up made it able to conceal the traces of violence on her face. Looking at herself from different directions she appreciated her handy work, if you didn't know it was there you wouldn't notice. She smiled at her reflection and readied herself to go out.

She was walking downstairs and felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. The screen said she had received a message from Abby.

**Abby - Hey, at what time will you be here?**

**Keira - I'm on my way, will be there in 15 minutes.**

Keira hit send and put her phone back into her pocket. She had to hurry if she wanted to be there in fifteen minutes. She had promised to help Abby pack, she was moving to Frimley in the next few days and she was having a meltdown. It was true that she had already called Keira ten times during the last three days, so Keira figured it would be in her own best interest to go help her. Tom had agreed to come too, he was also moving, but only next week so he had called it practise to help Abby. It was also good to get out of the house, it was her day off and she hadn't felt like spending it inside. She quickly grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and checked if she had her keys. David had already left and she didn't want to be depended on him when she came home, because maybe he wouldn't even let her in the house. With a swing she closed the door behind her and stepped into the bright sunlight.

\----------

'You're here!' Keira was pulled into a hug when the door had opened.

She stepped over the threshold and followed Abby inside. The house was a mess, there were boxes everywhere and it looked like a bomb had exploded. Keira chuckled, this was typical Abby, completely chaotic. She was the total opposite of Keira who liked everything to be neat and tidy. Tom was already sitting on the sofa, but had a helpless look on his face. Keira made her way over to him and flopped down next to him.

'So, how is it going?' Keira smirked when looking around the room.

'Fantastic,' Tom said sarcastically.

Abby was bouncing around the room while throwing several items in different directions. Some items ended up in a box, but a few seconds later she had already pulled them out again. 'I don't know what to do,' she cried while holding a large teddy bear.

'OK, time to make a plan then,' Keira responded. She grabbed the notebook that was laying on the table and looked for a pen. When she had found one she scribbled some things down. 'Ok, we'll organise by room. We have kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, workroom and one we call junk-we-do-not-want-to-throw-away-room,' Keira wrote this down so the others could remember.

'That sounds logical,' Tom admitted.

'So, we'll first prepare the boxes. In each room put three boxes, one for stuff you want to take with you, one for stuff you are going to give away and one for stuff you want to throw away. And oh, first write the room on the box, before we forget to do that later,' Keira added.

'Oh Keira, you're so smart, I don't know what I would do without you!' Abby's face had lit up with the mention of an actual plan.

'Ok, let's start in the living room then, because you already started here,' they all stood up to get started.

Keira collected several boxes and wrote down the different rooms, she then paired them with two other empty boxes. Abby was sitting on the ground sorting through a big pile of magazines. Tom looked annoyed, he didn't understand the concept of magazines at all. He decided to take matters into his own hands and picked up several items, holding them out to Abby.

'Do you want to keep this, or throw it away?' this time he held out an particular ugly vase.

'Hm, it is rather ugly, so I could give it away I guess,' she eyed the vase while still sorting the magazines.

'OK, box with stuff to give away it is then,' he unceremoniously put it in the right box.

The boxes filled up quite quickly and Abby found out that there weren't many things that she actually wanted to keep. This made her enthusiastic because it meant that there were only a few boxes to unpack at her new home. Also the fact that she now had a valid reason to go shopping brightened up her mood. It was very enjoyable to go through all the stuff together, as it brought back a lot of memories. They ended up laughing more than packing, but in the end they still made progress. After they had finished with the living room they were rather proud of their work. The exploded bomb scenario had disappeared and the only thing still in its place was the furniture.

'Alright, time for lunch!' Abby decided.

They made their way to the kitchen and tried to figure out what to make. There wasn't much food left in the house and Abby reluctantly admitted she had forgotten to go grocery shopping. Keira snickered, with the state Abby had been in during the last few days this had been totally foreseeable.

'What about we order something?' Tom suggested.

'Pizza!' Keira and Abby said in unison. They looked at each other confused, but then laughed. Maybe they had spent too much time together over the last few years.

'Alright, what do we order?' Tom had already opened the pizza app on his phone.

'I don't care, as long as it's pizza,' Keira replied happily.

Abby agreed and Tom growled, they always made him choose. He hated it, because they saw this as an opportunity to pick on him when the food arrived. Of course they did this on purpose, they liked to wind up Tom, because he always was so easily wound up. They agreed to already start with packing up the kitchen while they awaited the arrival of their pizzas. The routine they got into while packing the living room also proved to be successful in the kitchen and the fact that they already had worked out the system made for a quicker process. They already were halfway through packing up when their food arrived. Tom sprinted to the door when he heard the doorbell, he looked really hungry. The smell of fresh pizza made its way into the kitchen and Keira's stomach rumbled at the sight of the pizzas when Abby opened one of the boxes impatiently.

'I'm starving, I could eat twelve of these,' she grunted.

'No, you wouldn't be able to,' Tom smirked.

'You never have any faith in me,' Abby pouted.

'Too bad,' that earned Tom a push from Abby.

'Are you looking forward to starting work?' Keira asked Abby.

'Yes and no,' the smile on Abby's face faded a little.

'Why?' asked Tom.

'I don't know anyone and I don't even know the place I'm moving to!' she yelped.

'Don't worry, you were always good at making friends really quickly,' Tom said reassuringly.

'That's true, it will all be fine Abbs,' Keira gave her friend a pat on the back.

'But I'm going to miss you! We will not be able to do stuff like this anymore, we will not live 15 minutes away from each other like we do now,' this made Keira also a bit sad.

'We are all going to miss this, but aren't you excited to finally have a job you are really interested in?' Tom said quizzically.

'You are right, as always,' Abby said, 'but I'm still really nervous.'

'I'm nervous too!' he reassured her, 'I don't know shit about a real job or what's expected from me. I'm just going to work hard and hope for the best, you should do too.'

'What about you Keira, have you finally applied for a job somewhere? Or are you going to work at that cafe for the rest of your life?' Abby turned her attention back on Keira.

Keira sighed, she had expected this question, they asked her this quite frequently. She still didn't know what to do, she wanted exactly what Abby was going to do, work in aviation. However, something was still holding her back, like she wasn't ready to start a real job. She imagined herself strolling through one of the many buildings Boeing owned, like Abby was going to do and she wasn't quite sure if that would fit her. What if she screwed up? What if she was too young or they would act like females were stupid? What if they thought that her diploma was worth nothing, because she was a woman. This were some of the worries which held her back to actively search for a job. She also didn't know what to do about David, how would he react if she had to move? He couldn't come with her, because he had to finish college. Something inside her told her that moving away from David would be a good thing.

'Still not decided,' Keira said timidly.

'Come work with me at Silverstone!' Tom said sounding elated, 'It's going to be awesome!'

'I don't think that's for me,' Keira said honestly, but she grinned when she saw Tom's face. She grabbed another slice of pizza and took a large bite. Tom had been so excited ever since he landed that job. He had always been a big motorsport fan and couldn't believe that they had hired him.

'But you do like motorsports, right?' Tom asked.

'I do, I mean, how could I not with a man like my father. I swear he sang the German and Italian anthems as lullabies when we were younger,' she chuckled at the memory, while trying not to choke on her pizza.

'You're father is crazy,' snorted Abby.

'Yeah, I agree. However, he is also very passionate. I think that's why I'm also so passionate about aviation. Although it could have easily been Formula 1, I mean, because aviation and Formula 1 are his big passions. I really liked watching Formula 1 when I was growing up, but I haven't really been following the sport the last couple of years. Too busy with becoming a postgraduate in Mechanical Engineering!' Keira laughed.

'At least that goal has been reached,' Tom looked at both of them, 'by all of us!'

They ended up in a group hug and finished the last remaining slices of pizza. When they had cleaned  the table they reluctantly got back to packing up Abby's stuff.

\----------

'Ok, put these into the car,' Abby pushed several boxes into the arms of Keira and Tom.

It had been several days since they packed up Abby's belongings and it was now time for her to move out. It was still early and Tom and her had both agreed to go with her to Frimley to help unpack again. They were now putting the last boxes into the car and were glad that Abby had decided to throw so much away, because there wasn't much room left when they finished. Tom closed the trunk and looked at his handy work with a satisfied smile. Keira patted him on the back and he pulled her into a hug. She squirmed, Tom had put his hands on one of the larger bruises on her shoulder. He let go and looked confused and Keira quickly put a brave smile on her face.

'Sorry, it felt like you were suffocating me!' she said.

'I'm sorry then, didn't mean to,' he shrugged his shoulders.

'Don't worry, I'm still as good as new!' she said happily, although she knew this wasn't exactly true.

'Guys, time to go!' Abby yelled from the other side of the car.

They quickly got in and Abby started the car. Keira bent over to the radio and searched for something to keep them entertained during the trip. It wasn't a very long trip, but it still felt like going on a road trip. They had done that several times and it always had been fun, especially because they all weren't real pros in navigating. It wasn't uncommon to end up completely opposite from where they had intended to go. She remembered the time they had gone on a trip and Tom had booked the hotel for the trip. When they had arrived at the hotel they couldn't find Tom's reservation. He had been sure he made them, so he looked it up on his phone. Turned out he had made a reservation at the hotel, only it had been at a hotel from the same chain more than 800 km away. The hotel luckily had been very cooperative to switch the booking and it all had ended up fine. However, Abby and her had never stopped teasing Tom during the rest of their trip. Since then he wasn't allowed to do any of the booking during their trips and he never disagreed with that decision.

'Woohoo, we're half way there. Woohoo, living on a prayer! Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear. Woohoo, living on a prayer!'

They were all singing at the top of their lungs, although Keira wasn't sure this counted as singing, it sounded more like yelling. Tom was absorbed in showcasing his air guitar skills, while Keira and Abby were pretending to hold a microphone. It was never a good idea to put them together in a car for more than fifteen minutes, as they always ended up doing embarrassing things and Keira hoped no one else would see their stage performances. Several classic songs had already passed, but Bon Jovi had always been one of their favourites. Observing her friends made Keira smile, they were a bunch of idiots and she loved them to bits. Too bad that it was now time to become grownups and they had to leave their college life behind. She would give anything to spend another couple of years like the last few years, because everything had been so easy then. She sighed, but was determined to not let these feelings get into her head. She turned up the volume of the radio and got back to screaming Bon Jovi at the top of her lungs.

'OK, we are here!' Abby pulled into a driveway and they all looked up to the small flat. From the outside it didn't look too shabby. Abby parked the car and they all got out, still looking at the surroundings. They walked over to the flat and Abby was looking for the keys, but couldn't find them.

'Looking for these?' Tom grinned while holding out the keys.

Abby snatched them from his hand and gave him an dirty look. 'I'm so happy I'm able to get away from you,' she said dramatically.

After passing a few apartments they finally found the right one. Abby pushed open the door and let them all in. It wasn't big, but it was very light and looked modern. It was noticeable that Boeing was looking after their staff and it was good to see. The furniture looked new and the kitchen was very modern. Abby was bouncing through the house, opening doors and yelling unintelligible things. Keira could made up from the yelling that Abby was pleased with her new accommodation.

'Oh, time to put your lazy asses to work!' Abby slapped both of their behinds and smirked.

They gasped dramatically and followed her outside. They had to make the trip several times to get all the boxes inside.

'I'm so glad you wrote on all the boxes where they have to go!' Abby said to Keira.

'I always know what's good for you,' Keira grinned. 'In contrast to yourself,' she muttered under her breath.

'Hey, that's not fair!' Abby had heard her.

Keira blew her a kiss and went back to unpack the boxes. It was easier to unpack than to pack, because nothing had to be sorted out this time. Tom and herself opened the boxes and passed the contents to Abby who then found a place for it. They worked like a well oiled machine and the job was done earlier than they had expected. Keira wiped her face to remove the sweat that had formed during the hard work.

'What's that on your face?' Abby asked alarmed.

'What do you mean?' Keira looked confused.

'There's a purple mark on your face, what have you done?'

Keira felt her cheeks turning red and her body becoming numb, she had totally forgotten about that bruise. She had professionally covered it up as always, but wiping off the sweat had clearly revealed what was underneath it.

'Oh nothing, I walked into a doorpost one night. I had to go to the bathroom and it was dark, stupid mistake,' Keira tried to sound casually, not wanting to alarm Abby even more.

Abby didn't look convinced and folded her arms while still eyeing Keira. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes, why wouldn't I? My sense of direction is just awful at night, I often walk into things. This time it was my head unfortunately,' Keira felt herself becoming more nervous with every word she said.

'OK, alright, hope it heals soon then.'

'Yeah, me too, thanks though!' Keira let out a sigh of relief. This had been close and she should have been more careful, next time she was going to put on a extra layer of make-up, just to be sure. She turned around to look for empty boxes to be packed away and she made the room look neat and tidy in no time. They sat down together on the new sofa, the three of them sinking back in the large cushions. Their bodies ached from the hard work, but they also felt rather satisfied. Without saying much they sat on the sofa, taking in the last moments of their time together. From now on life would be different.


	5. Dinner

'So, how was your first day at work?' Keira was sitting on the sofa, trying to get a handful of crisps out of the bag that was lying on her lap. With her other hand she was holding her phone to her ear. It had been a few days since Abby had moved and Keira was already missing her. She had asked Abby to keep her up to date with how she was settling in and today had been Abby's first day at Boeing.

'Loooooong! I have been introduced to so many people, I don't think I can remember them all,' Abby gasped from the other side of the phone.

'Have you built an airplane yet?' Keira giggled.

'Yes, I did. Two Boeing 737s before lunch and two after,' Keira knew Abby was rolling her eyes, although she couldn't see it.

'OK, what did you actually do today?'

'They gave me a tour around the factory, met all kinds of people and found out the food is very good,' Abby always had a close relationship with food.

'But you did like it?' Keira asked sounding interested.

'Yes! It's so huge, but I can't wait to start!'

'I'm so happy for you,' Keira exclaimed, 'you're going to be the best!'

'We'll see, I'll start with the actual work tomorrow.'

'I'm also curious how Tom will do at his new Job,' Tom was moving in the next couple of days and would start work next week. He was a lot calmer than Abby and this time Keira wasn't needed to help move. She was glad, although packing had been fun, she found moving twice within one week a bit too much. Also his brother was coming over to help him, so he would be in good hands.

'I think he'll annoy everyone, he's like a hyperactive puppy,' Abby smirked.

'Oh God, that's true. I hope he doesn't meet anyone famous in the first few months, otherwise they would never want to go back to that place.'

'Imagine him working in Formula 1 like he wants too, that would never end well,' Abby giggled.

'I think he'll forget to fix the car, because he's too busy staring at drivers and then the car will fall apart on track.'

They both laughed when they pictured that situation. The worst part was that it would probably happen if the situation came up. Tom was very skilled, but he could be star struck quite easily. Once they had been on a plane and a famous football player had been sitting in the row next to them. Tom had spent the whole flight looking at him and the guy had became more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

'And how's life going at yours?' Abby asked cheerfully.

'Same old, same old. I like working and go outside whenever I can,' Keira smiled.

'How's David?'

'Also fine I think. He has invited me to dinner tonight,' Keira said while frowning. It was true, David wanted to go out for dinner tonight. She had been confused when he had asked her, because they never went out anymore. She didn't even know why he had asked her, but he had looked excited, so she had accepted his offer. They had a table at seven, so there were still a couple of hours left before she had to get ready. She still felt weird about it, because it was so out of character for David.

'Oh, that sounds fun! Going anywhere good?' Abby asked.

'I don't even know where we're going, he said it was a surprise,' Keira didn't really know what she thought about surprises.

'Sounds very unlike David, but I'm sure it'll be fun!' Abby sounded cheerful.

'I guess it has to do, can't back out now,' Keira moaned.

'If it's that bad, you can always pretend to be ill and go home.'

That actually wasn't a bad plan at all, but she was determined to make the evening a success. It had been a long time since they had gone out together and actually had a good time. She hoped this time would be different and secretly hoped that life would go back to as it had been six months ago. Knowing that this probably wouldn't happen she put another large hand of crisps into her mouth.

\----------

Keira was standing in front of the mirror in her bedroom. She was wearing a long dark red dress she normally wouldn't wear. It felt uncomfortable to be in a dress, she normally just put on a pair of trousers because it was easy. She had decided to dress up for this occasion, to show David that she had made an effort. It was a dress she had worn to a wedding once and then had been stored at the back of her closet. While admiring her reflection in the mirror she suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable. She had found a blazer that would go with the dress to cover up her arms, but it still felt more naked than normal.

With a few touches of make-up she made sure that nothing she didn't want was showing. Her hair she curled very lightly and she even put on some mascara. She found a pair of heels laying at the bottom of her closet and put them on. Her keys, phone and extra make-up were stuffed into a bag and she felt ready to go. She decided to wait for David downstairs and flopped down on the sofa, while turning on the TV to kill the time.

'Are you ready to go?' Keira opened her eyes in surprise. It became apparent that she had fallen asleep on the sofa. She blinked a few times and saw David standing in the doorway, he looked very handsome. He had shaved and his hair looked clean and smooth. He smiled when he noticed Keira had been sleeping.

'Yes, I am. Hang on,' Keira put her heels back on, 'now I'm ready!' She grabbed her bag and made her way over to David who opened the door for her.

It had been another beautiful day and the warmth was still tangible in the air. Keira wanted to take off her jacket, but decided against it when she reminded she didn't want her arms exposed. Even though it wasn't as busy on the streets as it was during the day, people could still be looking. She smiled when David took her hand and gave her an encouraging squeeze. They walked in silence for a while until David told her about how his extra courses were going. Keira had been afraid to ask about these courses he had enrolled in, but it sounded like it was going well. She was glad, he wasn't dumb, he was actually quite smart, it was just the motivation that had been lacking. He had a look of elation in his eyes when he was talking and it made him look even more handsome. He had always been good looking, but his newfound confidence in himself made him shine.

They reached the restaurant not much later, Keira was pleased because her feet already started to hurt. She wasn't used to wearing heels and she couldn't imagine why women actually wanted to wear them. Sneakers were so much more comfortable and a lot easier to walk in. She followed David into the restaurant where a waiter led them to their table. The restaurant was already half full and the atmosphere was very relaxed. Keira smiled when David pulled out her chair and sat down. The candle on the table was already lit and radiated a comforting glow. A waiter brought them their menus and took their order for drinks.

'Looks fancy,' Keira remarked.

'When you take out a pretty girl, you can't feed her hamburgers,' David answered.

'You know I love hamburgers, don't you?' Keira chuckled.       

'How could I not? But no, this time I would like to spend some money,' with that he closed the menu.

'You have already decided?' Keira raised her eyebrows. She wasn't even half way through the menu and read all kind of things she had never heard of before.

'I just picked the first thing on the menu, I don't really care what I get, I like everything.'

Keira gasped, of course she could have expected this, David really didn't give a shit about many things. Nevertheless she felt somewhat flattered, she realised David had picked this restaurant for her, because she did care about her food. The wine arrived and the waiter poured them both a glass.

'Cheers!' David said looking at Keira.

'Cheers,' she said back, but with an uncomfortable feeling. It was just one glass, she said to herself. She would make sure that there wouldn't be any more. With that she gave her order to the waiter, as did David. She used that time to look at David, he did look better than the last couple of weeks. Not only did he took care of himself, his eyes looked also brighter, happier. He was polite to the waiters and to her, when it was already evening. It made for a nice change and made Keira think about if this version was here to stay. Maybe it would all get better?

When their food arrived they ended up in a conversation about one of the courses in college. It was a course Keira had taken last year, but David only had started it just now. He sounded enthusiastic and Keira could explain to him the different topics of the course. She was surprised that he would let her finish her sentences and actually took her advice. It was a very enjoyable evening and she didn't notice the amount of wine David was ordering for the both of them. She just drank it and continued their conversation, it was so good to laugh again. David had been funny the whole evening and was very complimentary to her, she loved it.

The waiter put their desserts in front of them and said he hoped they would enjoy it. Keira gave him a grateful look and tucked her spoon into the dessert. She loved desserts, even when she was full, there was always room for dessert. In no time they both had finished it and Keira leaned against the back of her chair. Trying to hide a tired moan she put her hand against her mouth, but David had already seen it.

'Shall we go home, love?' he asked her.

'That would be nice, thanks. I didn't think I would be this tired already,' Keira said with a guilty look on her face.

'Don't worry, I'll get you home,' David smiled. He paid the bill and they walked out of the restaurant.

'Thank you for the lovely evening,' Keira said to David. She really meant it, she had enjoyed herself. It was nice to just talk to each other and not having to worry about anything.

'It was my pleasure, I'm glad you enjoyed it,' he pulled her into a hug.

It felt good to be hugged, she didn't get hugged very often and it was a very comforting feeling. He smelled like he always did and she buried her face in his chest. They stood there for a couple of minutes, until he put his fingers under her chin and lifted her head up.

'You look beautiful tonight,' he said while looking into her eyes.

She blushed and didn't know how to respond. When she stood there thinking she suddenly felt his lips on hers and he kissed her very gently. Surprised by his action she kissed him back while he put a hand in her hair. She couldn't remember the last time they had kissed like this, she felt her heart beating faster and she felt goosebumps forming on her skin. He bit her lip slightly and she felt her body shiver, God this felt good. When he pulled back a couple of moments later she didn't really wanted to let go. She looked up and saw a little smile had crept across his face, he looked adorable. He took her hand again and they continued on their way.

After walking silently for a while Keira heard someone wolf whistle behind her.

'Hey, cutie!' someone yelled in her ear.

She turned around with a look of horror on her face. A guy who was obviously drunk was standing behind her and it was clear he was the source of the whistling.

'You look smashing!' he giggled while trying to hug her.

Keira stood back in disgust and let go of David's hand to push the stranger away. He didn't really seem to care, he probably was too drunk to care.

'What's this?' David's voice sounded icy.

'A stupid drunk, help me get away from him,' she said while trying to push the man off her again.

'He seems to know you, to _like_ you.'

Keira was too busy to hear the change of tone in his voice. 'Come on, help me!' she yelled at David.

David stood next to her with his arms folded, his eyes looked dark and his skin had turned white.  'You seem to enjoy yourself,' he spat at her.

'Don't be stupid,' Keira now also sounded angry.

'Don't talk to me like that, slut!'

Keira stopped wrestling the stranger and looked at David in disbelief. What had he just called her? She was too taken aback to respond and she just stood there looking at him. The happy David from this evening had gone and the dark David had returned. She wanted to get away, to run anywhere but this place. Instead she stood there rooted to the ground and unable to move.

'You know, I have always known you're a slut,' he hissed.

'Hey man, don't talk to her like that,' the stranger drunkenly yelled at him.

David answered him with a punch to his face. He fell down on the ground with his hands on his face, not moving.

'Why did you do that?' Keira screamed in disgust.

'You don't like me punching your _lover_?' David said  with a childish voice.

'Don't be silly, I only have you. I only want you,' she said, but her voice sounded nervous. He laughed, a maniacal laugh which hurt Keira's ears. She bend down and stuck her hand out to help the stranger get back on his feet.

'Don't touch him!' she felt David grasp her wrists and he pulled her back very roughly. 

'You're an idiot!' she shouted while she felt tears streaming down her face.

'You better do what I say,' David's voice was full of hatred.

Keira didn't know what to do, she felt disgusted by the man standing in front of her. He had just punched a complete stranger and that was not acceptable. She pulled out her phone with the intention to call an ambulance.

'Don't you dare!' his voice was low and venomous.

'I do what I want,' she answered. Without any warning she felt an enormous blow to her head and everything around her went blurry. She felt herself fall to the ground and her head collided with the cold tiles. There were muffled noises, but she couldn't make out what they were and then everything went black.


	6. Hospital

A beeping sound filled the room and the steady breathing from the girl laying in bed complimented that sound. It was a peaceful scene, except from the bluish purple mark that was just visible on the side of the girl's face. Luckily for her the bruise was mostly covered by her hair and it didn't disturb the features of her face. A young man was sitting just outside of the room, sleeping with his head against the wall whilst nurses were running up and down the corridor to attend to the needs of their patients. The bright morning sun crept slowly through the windows and a golden beam of sunlight touched the face of the sleeping girl. The warmth of the light made her shift and a small smile appeared on her lips.

Keira's head was throbbing, but she didn't know why. She held her eyes closed and tried to make the pain go away, but she failed. The surroundings smelled different and she was curious why. When she opened her eyes she immediately became baffled, this definitely wasn't her bedroom, nor another room in her house. She tried to sit up, but the throbbing in her head worsened and she quickly laid down again. What had happened, why was she here? Her hand felt weird and she brought it up to her face to look at it. She could see a needle had perforated the skin of her hand, allowing a drip to put fluids into her veins. It now became clear where she was, namely in the hospital.  However, she still couldn't remember why she ended up here. She racked her brain and a few images of last night came back. The dinner, the kiss and then the punch. With a sigh she closed her eyes again, it was David's fault she was here. Her mouth felt dry and she looked to her side to find something to drink. A cup of water was stood on her bedside table and she swiftly emptied it in one gulp. It felt refreshing and it also made her more awake.

She scanned the room with her eyes, not moving her head because that hurt. It was a small room, but not unpleasant. The sun that filled the room made her feel at ease, it softened the pain a little bit. She could see trees through the window, they were now fully showing their summer foliage and it was beautiful she thought, especially with the sound of chirping birds in the background. She desperately wanted to go outside, she hated the feeling of being locked up, especially on a beautiful day like this. Only she wasn't quite sure what to do, she didn't even know how she even ended up here in the first place. With her fingers she tried to push a stray strand of hair back in its place. Her fingers brushed against the new damage on her face, it felt swollen. She could imagine how it looked and found herself already thinking about how to cover it up. It was good fortune that most of it was underneath her hair and that would make the job a lot easier, nonetheless it still hurt pretty badly.

'Ah, I see that you're awake!' a bright smiling nurse came into the room. 'How are you feeling?'

Keira was slightly taken aback by the cheerful woman who was now checking her IV. When she noticed it was almost empty, she put up a new bag of NaCl. When Keira didn't respond she turned around to face her. She had a sympathetic look in her eyes and it made Keira feel uncomfortable, it was the first time that someone had seen some of her bruises.

'Can I have some water, please?' she asked shyly.

'Of course dear,' the nurse filled a new cup of water and handed it to Keira.

She thanked the nurse and took small sips of water. 'When will I be able to leave?' she asked the nurse hesitantly.

'I don't know exactly dear, the doctor has to see you first.'

'When will that be?'

'He is doing his rounds right now, so I don't think it'll take long. Do you want some breakfast?'

Keira felt her stomach rumble at the mention of breakfast. She hadn't noticed being this hungry and she nodded as an answer.

'What would you like? Breakfast has already been served, but I can get you anything you like,' the nurse sounded motherly.

'Is a croissant and some orange juice possible?

'Of course, dear. I'll be back in a bit, go lay down for a while, it'll make you feel better,' she swiftly put her warm hand on Keira's arm when she said the last sentence.

Keira smiled at her and followed her instructions. It indeed made her feel better instantly, the pillow was very soft. She felt her eyes close again and she didn't fight the feeling of sleep washing over her.

She woke up again from the sounds of stuff being put on her bedside table. When she opened her eyes she saw the same nurse preparing the table for her breakfast. The nurse turned the foldable table towards her and let Keira sit up. It looked delicious, especially for hospital standards and she was very thankful that the nurse had got her some food. To her surprise the orange juice was fresh.

The nurse noticed her surprised face and gave her an encouraging smile. 'I thought you would like that, I got it from the nurses lounge. You look like you could need some TLC,' her face now looked worried.

'It is very nice, thank you,' Keira thanked her, 'but I don't want to cause any inconvenience.'

'Oh no dear, it really wasn't. Someone has to take care of you!'

Keira picked up her croissant and took a bite. She saw the nurse backing out of the room and smiled, she had been very nice. The orange juice was delicious and she couldn't remember the last time she had fresh juice. She made a mental note for herself to make it at home more often. It wasn't that she hadn't wanted to make it, but she was always just too lazy to do it. From now on it was time that she took better care of herself, she had neglected herself long enough.

\----------

Keira had been watching some TV and had made herself comfortable as far as that was possible in a hard hospital bed. A nurse had brought her some more pillows and she now had a jug of water next to her bed. Not much time had passed since breakfast, but it felt already like an eternity. She didn't want to stay in bed, but she had to until the doctor had came to examine her. She dreaded that perspective, she hated the feeling of someone touching her body and she didn't want to face the awkward questions that were going to be asked unmistakably. At that moment she heard the door opening and the doctor walked in. As a reflex she pulled the covers up a bit higher, just leaving her head visible.

'Hi, I'm doctor Fields,' he held out his hand and Keira shook it reluctantly. 'How are you feeling? Better than last night?' his eyes were friendly.

'I don't remember much from last night,' she answered.

'Well, you were unconscious and the ambulance brought you in. It seems like someone hit you quite forcefully. You were found laying on the street. Do you remember who did this?'

Keira was mystified, the last thing she remembered was that David and the drunken guy were there next to her. She couldn't really think of why she had been alone, David wouldn't have left her behind. Or would he? An unpleasant feeling made its way to her stomach, maybe he hadn't cared at all. He had been in such a state last night and she didn't even know what he was capable of.

'I can't really remember. Only some drunk shouting stuff at me and harassing me,' she looked down at her hands, not wanting to tell the truth. She could hear him sigh and he looked sad, he clearly had hoped that she could provide some information.

'It doesn't matter, we took good care of you and you'll be as good as new in a few weeks. It's only too bad that we can't give anything to the police. The person who did this to you should be locked up,' he gave Keira a serious look.

She still couldn't face him and kept herself busy with scraping some of the old nail polish off her nails.

'I'll now examine you, to look how you're injuries are healing and how your overall health is,' he pulled the stethoscope from around his neck and made her lean forward, so that he could listen to her lungs. He pulled open the gown she was wearing ant put the cold metal on her back.

'Sounds perfect.'

She could feel his fingers on her skin and it felt awful. Trying hard to resist the urge to yell at him and run out of the room she let him examine her. She noticed him resting his fingers on a few of the old bruises. She closed her eyes, this wasn't going to be good. He then also examined her arms and her legs. She heard him sigh before speaking to her.

'I don't know exactly what happened to you, but it's clear that last night wasn't the first time it happened.'

Keira still couldn't face him.

'Not only are there bruises like the ones from last night, but I also see bruises from being retained. Also on places that makes me think some things happened to you against your will.'

She felt a tear escape from her eyes when the doctor said that.

'You'll need help Miss O'Donnell, this shouldn't be happening to you.'

'I don't know how to make it stop,' she said while tears were still flowing.

'Is it someone you know?' the doctor asked cautiously.

Keira shook her head, not wanting to meet his eyes she looked at her hands again.

'Alright then. I'll get you some information about places you could visit and people you could speak to who are willing to help you.'

At that moment Keira saw David coming into the room. Her whole body became rigid immediately, she had not expected him. He looked like he had been sleeping and his eyes were full of guilt.

'Ah, Mister Sandfort,' the doctor shook David's hand.

They clearly had been introduced already and Keira looked from one to the other, she didn't understand what was going on. How did they know each other?

'Mister Sandfort was your emergency contact and he has been here since this morning,' the doctor explained.

Keira's face was still blank and David tried to make eye contact, but she wasn't ready for it.

'He can take you home if you want, you are free to go. Just make sure to take good care of yourself. Promise me that,' he said with a worrying voice. 'I'll send the nurse in to take care of everything.'

Keira nodded and still felt somewhat numb. The doctor said some things to David and then left the room. They were left in silence, a very uncomfortable silence. Keira was afraid to look at David and didn't want to be left alone together like this. She tried to fix her gown and to make her hair look decent.

'Keira, I'm so sorry,' David began. 'I know I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry.'

Keira saw him sit down in the corner of her eye and he did look sorry, but she knew she wasn't able to forgive him, yet. He tried to grab her hand, but she quickly withdrew her hand from his grip.

'Please look at me Keira, I'm really sorry,' he pleaded.

When their eyes crossed paths she could see that he had tears in his eyes and she suddenly felt guilty. She knew he hadn't done it on purpose and he looked really sorry right now. She sighed, not knowing what to say. She tried to find the right words, but they all seemed too weak for what she wanted to say. Before she had to decide what to say, a nurse had came into the room.

'You're going home, that's nice!' she said while pulling on all kind of things.

'I'm glad I'm able to go home,' that was true. The nurse pulled out the needle from her hand and she was free to move again.

'Here, I'll help you to the bathroom so you can get dressed.'

Keira swung her legs out of bed and used the nurse's arm for support to stand up. She felt a bit wobbly at first, but after a few steps she found her balance. The nurse had put her clothes in the bathroom, David had brought clean clothes and she was very thankful for that. She didn't really want to walk out in that dress, not only because she would feel horrible overdressed, but also because it would remind her of last night. When she had put on her clothes she looked into the mirror, she looked like shit. She splashed some water on her face, but it didn't really help. There wasn't a brush and David had only packed clothes, so she tried to comb her hair with her fingers. She then realised that she also didn't have any make-up to cover up her face. She felt her heart sink and her hands started trembling. She just wanted to be home, not having to face the world. With difficulty she tried to position her hair so that it would cover the bad side of her face. After a few attempts it was quite decent and she accepted the fact that it wouldn't get any better for now.

\----------

Staying at home had been horrible, but Keira was too afraid to go outside. Now people had seen her secret, she felt exposed everywhere she went. The feeling that everybody could see it was suffocating, so she just sat on the couch watching some TV. She couldn't really focus on the television and her mind wandered to memories she didn't want to revisit. Reading a book had also not been very successful and she had given up to find something else to do. She had called Abby and they had talked about everything, well almost everything. Keira didn't tell anything about the trip to the hospital and she didn't intent to do that ever. She didn't want pity from her friends, she had to fix her own problems and she didn't want to burden anyone else with them.

Keira shrieked when she heard her phone ring. She picked up her phone and saw that her mother was calling. Keira smiled and picked up, she hadn't talked to her mother in a while.

'Hey sweetie, how are you?' her mother's voice sounded.

'I'm alright, how's life at home?' she tried to sound cheerful.

'Your father is still insufferable and I'm going crazy,' he mother gasped.

'So nothing has changed then?' Keira remarked while grinning.

'Not really. Only packing a suitcase causes your father more stress at the moment.'

'You're packing, for what?' Keira asked in surprise.

'We're going on holiday you silly, like we do every year.'

'Oh yeah, I forgot,' Keira felt stupid. Since she and her sister were little they had always gone on holiday to Switzerland in winter and later also during the summer. The last couple of years they even had their own house there, because her parents had bought a chalet. It was a beautiful chalet and the surroundings were even better. The town was small, but it was perfect. It was then that Keira came up with an idea.

'Hey mum,' she asked slowly.

'What's up, dear?' her mother answered.

'Can I come with you to Switzerland?'

'Of course, we would love to have you here!' her mother sounded surprised.

'Ok then, when will you be there? Then I can book a flight.'

'Eh, we're leaving tomorrow morning, so I think around midday,' her mother answered happily.

'Ok, you'll see me there then, looking forward to it!'

'This is such a nice surprise Keira, I think your dad would love it too.'

'Until tomorrow then, bye!'

'Bye honey, we'll see you tomorrow.'

With that Keira hung up the phone, not really sure about what she had just done. It felt adventurous and she giggled, this wasn't what she would normally do. She liked everything planned and organised, but she felt like she had to get out of this house, a change of scenery. Also a time away from David would do her good, she needed to think about what she wanted. She quickly sent a message to Abby and Tom to notify them and booked a plane ticket. She would visit Tom tomorrow before she was leaving, because he was moving they day after tomorrow and she didn't want to go without saying goodbye.

With a smile on her face she went upstairs to go pack her suitcase. She would only be gone for a couple of weeks, but she still wanted to pack almost everything she owned. She chuckled, she just liked the concept of choice. She knew most of it would never leave the suitcase, but she didn't care. As long as it would fit into the suitcase, it would be fine. Being as organized as she was, packing went fairly smoothly. It didn't take long at all before she had packed everything and her suitcase was standing beside the bed. She looked around the room to see if she had forgotten anything, but she seemed to be ready. The only thing she still had to do was explain to David why she was going away, she didn't think he would like it, but so be it. She shrugged her shoulders and tried not to care, she had to do this for herself and with that in mind she went downstairs.


	7. Switzerland

The flight to Switzerland had been a short one and it had been surprisingly pleasant. There had been no turbulence, no crying babies and no clingy neighbours who wanted to talk. Keira put the book she had been reading back into her bag and made her way off the plane. The weather in Switzerland was even better than back home. The sun was shining brightly, making the hills looking even greener than they already were. It felt strange to be back in Switzerland without being accompanied by her parents and her sister. Matter-of-factly, she had never travelled all by herself before. A strange feeling of freedom settled in her stomach and she felt somewhat invincible.

She was looking forward to see her parents again, she hadn't seen them since graduation. A guilty feeling grabbed hold of her, she had wanted to go back to Belfast to meet them, but she never had made real plans to go. It was no use to dwell on it now, because she was going to spent the next couple of weeks in their presence. How that was going to work out, she didn't know. It had been several years since she had been home for this long and even then her sister had been there to take most of the attention. She grinned when she thought of her sister, she was such a attention whore, but she loved that about her. Hopefully her sister would come visit too during her stay.

The taxi had dropped her off right in front of the chalet. The driver had been kind enough to get her luggage out of the car and she was now standing in front of the wooden door. Was she ready for this? There was certainly no way back now, she thought. With some reluctance she rang the bell and it didn't took long before the door swung open.

'Pumpkin, there you are!' her mother shrieked while kissing Keira on both cheeks.

'Hi mum,' she said awkwardly.

'Hi baby doll, how are you?' she saw her father walking up to them.

'I'm good dad, how are you?'

'Still old,' he sighed disappointingly.

'You'll only get older, so get used to it,' she stuck her tongue out at him. At the same time she felt something attacking her legs, when she looked for the source she gasped in excitement. A small dog was wagging its tail and clearly wanted to be patted. 'You have a dog!' Keira exclaimed.

'Yes, we do. Do you like her?' her mother said elatedly.

'She's perfect!' Keira had already lifted the puppy in the air to get a better look and it licked her nose and wagged its tail again. She softly stroked its fur and couldn't stop looking at the puppy, it was a small black Labrador and she had the most gorgeous eyes. 'Why didn't you tell me?' she asked indignantly.

'We only got her a week ago and wanted her to get accustomed to her new surroundings first.'

'We were going to tell you,' her father added, 'but then suddenly you decided to come here, so there wasn't any time!'

Keira pulled her parents and the dog into a hug. 'Best surprise ever! What's her name?'

'Molly,' her mother responded while looking at the dog with a fond expression on her face.

'Hello little Molly, do you like me?' cooed Keira at the puppy. It licked her nose again in response and she reluctantly put her down on the floor. It ran back into the living room and Keira followed the dog inside.

Everything was still as she remembered and the wooden interior was really nice. Her mother put a large teapot on the table and her father followed her with a biscuit tin. They sat down at the table and her parents interrogated her about life back home after graduation. Molly was resting on her lap and she stroked her lightly while taking part in the conversation. Her parents also wanted her to find a job, but her father eased her worry by telling her that it had took him two years to finally decide on what he wanted to do. This brightened her mood and she told her parents about Abby and Tom moving to other parts of the country. Not that they would be too far away, but everything outside of London felt like the other side of the world to her.

When they had finished their cups of tea she excused herself to get her stuff upstairs. She dragged her suitcase up the stairs and cursed herself for bringing too many things. It was very heavy and the stairs were steep, but in the end she managed to get it up  into her room. Her room was also still the same, although it wasn't as personal as the room back in Belfast. She had only spent a couple of weeks per year in this room and it didn't really feel like hers. The view was still magical and she started to put her stuff into the closet. When she was finished she laid down on the bed and looked outside. It was perfect that she was able to look out the window while laying down, it had helped her fall asleep many times before. With that thought she closed her eyes and snuggled into the blankets, this felt like home.

\----------

'Keira, we're going now. Don't forget to do the shopping, otherwise we won't have any food!' Keira heard her mother yell frown downstairs.

'OK, I will not forget. Have fun!' she yelled back. Her parents were meeting up with a few friends they met during the years living in this town. Most people knew each other because it was one of the smaller towns in the neighbourhood, although she still saw a lot of unfamiliar faces while walking in the streets. It had been a couple of days since she arrived and she slowly got into a routine. She loved being outside and she quickly had found her way to a nearby lake. The sight of little waves crashing on the shore was somewhat soothing and she liked the feeling of being alone. Going to the centre of the town wasn't something she had done very often, but it wasn't as bad as she had imagined. It wasn't anything like at home, the shops were small, the restaurants cosy and there weren't any loud signboards anywhere.

When she got downstairs she was greeted by Molly, she had grown rather fond of the little puppy. She was very weak when it came to animals, she preferably would like to have her own zoo. For now Molly would do and she gently scooped up the dog. Its eyes looked excited and she was trying to escape. Keira laughed and let her go, today she was responsible for her and she didn't mind. When she would be back from the grocery store she would go take her for a walk.

She yawned, she hadn't really slept very well, the side of her head was still hurting and she couldn't find a comfortable position. Luckily her parents hadn't noticed anything and she also found herself getting better in covering up the bruises. It also helped that she was in a new environment where almost no one knew who she was. The older marks had turned all different colours by now, like green, blue, red and yellow. If it wasn't so serious she would find it comical, because she looked like a clown. With half a smile on her face she fetched a bowl from one of the cupboards, now it was time for breakfast. She poured herself a large cup of coffee her father had already made and she sliced up an apple to put into the bowl, accompanied by some yoghurt. Stood in silence she quickly finished her breakfast and agreed with her mother that they had almost run out of groceries.

It was another beautiful day and the smell of the mountains was something she could get used to, it was very different from the polluted city of London. Time never stood still in London and everybody was always in a hurry to get somewhere. Switzerland was totally different and the people here almost looked lazy. She knew that wasn't true, people just didn't find it necessary to hurry, there was plenty of time in a day. She walked by large wooden houses and each of them was different than the one standing next to it, it made her appreciate the architecture. London looked a lot like Belfast, both being part of the UK it had been expected, but this was something else. She felt different walking the empty streets and she felt a heavy burden being lifted of her shoulders. She took a deep breath to take in the clear air and kicked a pebble that was laying on the street.

It didn't take long to reach the small centre of the town. A few people were also up early and doing shopping before returning back home. She looked into the shop windows when walking by and she had the feeling the shops really wanted her to buy a Swiss Army Knife. She chuckled, her father had like ten different models and always came up with a good reason to tell her mother why he had bought another one. She had to give it to him, they were quite handy. There was another item that screamed at her to please buy it when she peered through the windows, that were the bars of Toblerone. She herself wasn't much of a chocolate fan, but she could eat at least ten Toblerone bars before being sick. It was heavenly and she suspected the recipe to contain addictive substances. Maybe she would buy a few, for her parents. Yes, definitely for her parents.

\----------

Keira studied the list in her hands carefully. It was written in English, but the products in the store obviously were not. She had forgotten that it was all in German, how stupid. Most of it she could guess by looking at the product, but some of them were contained in boxes or in opaque packaging. Frustrated she put a box back on the shelf, her parents could have written the shopping list in German. They were fluent by now, she however never found the motivation the learn the language. English got you very far in the world, so it wasn't needed. She now regretted that decision, she would love to be able to speak another language. She was always in awe when she heard someone rattling in another language. French always sounded beautiful, so did German and maybe someday she would be able to speak one of those languages.

Next on the list was chocolate powder, this was something she had sneaked onto the list. She grew up drinking hot chocolate here in Switzerland and it reminded her of her childhood. She scanned the different isles of the supermarket to find the right one. When she finally found the right shelf she was annoyed by the fact that the item she wanted was stored on the highest shelf. It was a product for children, why would they put it on the highest shelf? She was standing on her toes and stretched out as far as she could to reach the shelf, but she still failed. When she wanted to try think up another plan someone behind her had grabbed the product from the shelf.

'You were looking for this?' a voice behind her said.

She turned around surprised by the fact someone spoke German to her and faced the helpful stranger. She almost forgot to breath when she looked at him as he was very handsome, that was immediately obvious. He had slightly curled dark blonde hair and a stubble that wasn't more than a few days old. However, the thing that drew her attention most were a pair of bright blue eyes, the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. She could hardly breath and felt rooted to the spot and her cheeks flushed slightly pink. He held out the chocolate powder and she took it while still looking at his eyes. He grinned when he saw her looking and she felt her cheeks reddening.

Oh God, she had made a total fool out of herself. 'Thank you,' she said with a muffled voice, her cheeks still burning hot.

'No problem,' he said kindly, this time answering in English.

His voice was soft and she could detect a slight accent. She thought it was German, of course it had to be German as they were in Switzerland and he spoke German to her. He probably was a local, although his face was somehow familiar, like she had seen it before. She couldn't remember where that would've been, but by guessing he's a local, it would have probably been around town. Since her parents had bought the chalet it was this town they had stayed at the last couple of years, so it could have been that she had seen him before. Something in her head told her it wasn't that, but she couldn't think of another reason why he would look familiar.

She watched him when he walked away to continue his own shopping, his eyes had been hypnotising. She shook her head, he was a complete stranger, what was she doing? She quickly glanced down at her shopping list and set out to find ham. This was easier, because she knew the German word for ham and it was not long before she found what she was looking for. In the corner of her eyes she saw the stranger putting a tray of eggs in his basket. She forgot what she was doing and found herself staring at him. When he disappeared behind a shelf she came to her senses again and put the ham in her basket. After the ham she continued to find all the other items on her list, whilst still struggling to make out what exactly they were.

She had spent almost an hour in the supermarket as where she normally would only be around twenty minutes. When she finally put down the last item of her list in her basket a feeling of pride came over her. She had felt uneasy doing the shopping, but she had still finished the job in the end. Or so she thought, her parents still had to confirm first that she had bought the right products. With the basket in her hand she joined the queue for the register. She found herself in a bit of trouble when she had to pay, all the coins where exactly the same colour and the size of the different coins didn't make sense at all. Luckily the cashier was very helpful and she started to put the groceries into a bag when she had finally paid.

When she walked out of the store she felt lighter and the sky looked bluer than before. She hummed a song while walking home and thought about things that made her happy. Molly made her happy, that was no question. Her parents made her feel good, the phone calls with Abby and Tom were nice, cooking and eating was now a hobby and also a pair of blue eyes drifted into her mind. She let out a sharp breath when she processed what she had been thinking about. No, she could definitely not be thinking about a stranger's eyes. She felt like a creep and quickly tried to focus on something else. The hills looked glorious and she spotted several chamois on the side of the mountains as well as several flocks of sheep.

She had absentmindedly walked by the right chalet, deep in thoughts about sheep and how she would like to own a couple of them when she was older. When she had realised her mistake she was annoyed at herself for being this dumb. Her parents weren't home yet, so she calmly put away the groceries. She was not exactly sure were all the things had to go, so a few items she left on the countertop for her parents to store away. For lunch she had bought all different kind of rolls, she hadn't known which one to choose, so she had chosen all of them. Swiss bread was totally different form the bread back home and she loved it. She had always been more of a savoury type, but she could stuff her face all day with these kind of breads. In the end she chose two rolls to eat and put some of the newly bought Swiss cheese on them. Without her noticing she made several grunting noises of pleasure while eating, she didn't want to leave Switzerland ever. Well, she would if she could take with her the bread and the cheeses, yes the cheeses. One of her all time favourite things to eat was raclette. That's when your food would be smothered in melted cheese and there wasn't anything better on earth.

After stuffing her face and with a painful stomach she settled herself on the couch. She wanted to improve her German, so she figured it would be useful to watch some TV. They narrated everything so she couldn't really avoid German even if she wanted too. There was Top Gear on, so she turned up the volume. It sounded rather strange hearing Jeremy talk in German and she couldn't understand any of his jokes. However, she still made an effort to keep watching and in the end could understand some of it, but she had rapidly found out her German needed a lot of work. Also this wasn't even real German, this was Swiss German and she knew as much that those two were fairly different.

She felt something brushing against her legs and Molly was looking at her with hopeful eyes. She gave the dog a kiss and watched as it wagged its tail in delight. She knew it was time to walk the dog, so she stood up to find the leash. Molly was already waiting at the door and she smirked, she really was a clever dog. While humming again she attached Molly to the leash and went outside. Molly was too young to already be trained and therefore went completely mad when she was outside. For her small body she had an astounding amount of force as she was dragged along by the dog while exploring the neighbourhood. With a smile on her face she followed the dog, she gazed up into the sky in complete bliss. At this time, nothing else mattered.


	8. Eyes

She had been on the phone with Abby for an hour and her cheeks hurt from laughing. She had realised how much she missed her best friends, especially when the only people she talked to now a days were her parents. She loved them and they were good company, but she couldn't discuss with them a lot of things she wanted to discuss. For example those gorgeous blue eyes she had seen during her trip to the grocery store the other day. Damn it, she had done it again, she had promised herself that she would forget about that stranger. But it was a welcome distraction from thinking about David, although she didn't think it was right to daydream about another guy's eyes. Absentmindedly she stroked the bruise on her head, the swelling had come down and it was slowly starting to heal. It would take a lot of time for the colour to return to normal, but the pain was lessening nevertheless. Suddenly her phone which she had put down on the table started to vibrate, so she picked it up to see what it was.

**David - Hey babe, when are you coming home?**

She felt an uncomfortable knot tightening in her stomach, David had been sending a lot of these messages lately. She caught herself on feeling guilty towards David, because she never liked people being upset, especially when she was the one causing the trouble. She put the phone back down and decided to reply later. It was for her to get away from it all that she had decided to come to Switzerland in the first place, so he would have to wait for now. She felt her head fogging up and suddenly felt desperate to get out of the house. Without much consideration she put on her shoes and went downstairs. She told her parents that she was going out and she would be back in time for dinner.

'Oh, you're finally starting to make friends here?' her mother said gleefully.

'Something like that,' she smiled, not wanting to hurt her mother's feelings. She didn't have the heart to tell her that in fact, she hadn't even tried to make friends. She felt like an invisible wall was holding her back, every time someone had looked in her direction she quickly had turned her head. She had to admit that she had became afraid of people and did everything to avoid having a conversation with strangers. She just liked to be by herself, especially when she felt like the world was one big evil place.

'OK, have fun darling! Maybe you can invite them over sometime? I would like to meet them.'

'Mum,' Keira said in a desperate voice, 'I'm not 12 anymore!'

'I know sweetie, I'm just interested in your life. You have been living abroad for so long now that I don't know how your life is going anymore,' her mother's face fell a little when she said the last part.

Keira instantly felt guilty, it was true that she didn't share that much about her life with her parents. She also knew that maybe she hadn't visited home as much as she should have done the past years. Life had been busy and she had been enjoying her time in London, she often hadn't even thought about home. Maybe she had been a bit selfish, only thinking about herself, while her parents had been back home waiting for signals of life from her. She knew her mother got lonely sometimes now both her sister and herself had moved out. When she thought about it this could also be the reason they got Molly, to bring back some life into the house. She promised herself that from now on she would keep in contact more, because her family naturally was really important to her.

'I know mum, I'm sorry. Maybe one day I'll invite them over for dinner, alright?'

'That'll be nice darling, now go and have fun!' she kissed Keira and pushed her towards the door.

'OK, bye, tell dad I said goodbye to him too!' she yelled while almost tripping on the doorstep.

It was not hard to figure out where to go, she had been going to the same place ever since she had discovered it. She had been walking, absorbed in her own thoughts and had just followed where her feet were taking her. Bonus points for Switzerland were easily given, because almost everywhere you went it was breathtakingly beautiful. She loved it here even more during wintertime, when the hills were covered in a thick layer of snow and the sunlight was reflected on the white surfaces. The snow would bring a deafening silence and then the world just seemed to stop. It made a wonderful place to think about your life and the snow would feel like a protective blanket. She loved the sound of silence, it was the most blissful sound on earth. Sadly it was also the sound hardest to find, because the world never stopped moving and people almost forgot to stand still and breath.

With a feeling of desire she continued on her way, the trees at the side of the road were bare, except from the top part where the sunlight would hit the branches. On pictures it always looked like green oases, but when you walked along the trees you would only see logs. If even trees could deceive you, it wasn't much of a shock that people would be experts on that subject. She could already hear the sounds of rippling water and it didn't take long for her to come face to face with a large lake. It was hidden between the trees, but it looked stunning against the backdrop of mountains and sky.

She had been here several times already, but each time it still took her breath away. It was by luck that she had discovered this place and she had a feeling not many people knew about it. The size was quite large, but small enough to still see the opposite banks of the lake. Her eyes had glazed over when she was standing there, looking at the deep blue water in front of her. Suddenly she felt her phone vibrate again in her pocket and with an uncomfortable feeling she opened the message.

**David -  Why are you ignoring me?**

It sounded nagging this time and she decided it was best if she would answer this time.

**Keira - I'm busy, sorry.**

It didn't take long for David to reply.

**David - You're on holiday, how is it possible to be busy?**

**Keira - You know that it's possible to do stuff when you're on holiday, right?**

Her last message maybe sounded a bit too bitchy, but she did not feel like going into a long discussion with David. She was on holiday and she could do whatever she liked, he could not control her, especially when he was at home and she was here.

**David - Why are you always so annoying?**

**Keira - I'm sorry if me being busy annoys you, but that's not my fault.**

**David - It is. If I need you, you should answer.**

**Keira - I'm not your possession, I have a life of my own.**

**David - Don't make me laugh. Without me you are no one.**

She felt her eyes sting and swiftly swept away the tears that had formed in her eyes. It sounded like he had been drinking already and it was only around midday back home. Was it because she was here and had left him behind at their home, should she feel responsible for his drinking behaviour? She couldn't make her mind up, because she was conflicted. If he started drinking earlier than normal, it was her fault, but on the other hand she didn't made him do it.

**David - You're ignoring me, again.**

**David - I will not stop until you answer me.**

**David - You're probably with another guy, are you? Little slut, that's what you are.**

After that last message she didn't want to read any more. She stuffed her phone as deep in her pocket as it would go and carried on walking along the green banks. Her phone kept vibrating and she switched of the sound, she wanted some peace and quiet. David made it impossibly hard to forget about home and she had a hard time keeping back her tears. Why had it to be her all the time? The sound of small waves soothed her to some extent, but she felt that she still had her fists clinched. Life was awful and nobody cared about her, why did she still wake up every day?

\----------

Keira was on her way home, it had been another day where she had been bombarded by text messages from David. At first they had been nice and he had apologised once again for that horrible night. They had chatted for a while and it had been nice, it had felt like old times again. She had told him how beautiful Switzerland was and how pleasant it was to spend some time with her parents. He on the other hand had told her about his days at the university and that he was looking for a job for a couple of hours a week. She had encouraged him and was glad that he wanted to do something responsible for once. Normally she was the one who brought in most of the money to pay the rent.

The next couple of hours she had been very cheerful and even cleaned the kitchen without much annoyance. However, it hadn't taken long before David had texted her again, sounding very needy. Because their talk had been so nice, she had responded, but that had made it only worse. He then had accused her of deliberately staying away to make sure he had to do the housekeeping himself. Also that she only wanted to talk to him when she had a couple of moments of free time between fucking all kinds of different guys. She had felt humiliated when reading that message, she would never do such things. As bad as David was to her, she would never hurt him back, she was too good for that. Her parents had noticed that something was wrong, but she couldn't dare face them. There had been only one thing left she could do and that was go to the lake. The fresh mountain air and the sounds of nature had calmed her down and it was the only place she didn't care crying. There were no people there who could see her and it had made her feel liberated.

It had been a particular warm day and she was slightly sweating when she had decided to go home. She didn't mind, it made her feel something other than numbness. Her feet began to hurt, she had been walking for a long time and she was also hungry by now. She had forgotten to bring something to eat or even to drink, as she had been too caught up in everything to properly prepare. Her dry throat started to become uncomfortable, but she had no other choice than keep going.

The town was quiet as usual, although a few people were hastily visiting the shops to buy the last items for dinner. That reminded her that they had run out of apples yesterday and that she had promised her mother that she would buy new ones.  When she went to enter the little supermarket she saw a little girl crying her eyes out. She smiled to herself when she heard the mother tell the girl that no, she wasn't allowed to take home the sleeping dog that was laying next to her. Grinning she picked up a basket and set out to get the apples. After only a few minutes she was outside again, not only had she picked up apples, she also had bought a large bag of crisps. She admitted to herself that she had a slight addiction when it came to crisps, but they were so God damn delicious, it wasn't her fault. She was already imagining what sauce she would make to accompany the crisps when she had a chance to eat them and it was a pleasant prospect.

Humming to herself she occasionally glanced inside the shops to observe their newly decorated shop windows. When she turned a corner to continue her way home she almost walked into someone. In surprise she let go of the apples and crisps and they fell to the ground with a loud thud. She wanted to pick them up, but she was suddenly rooted to the ground. Looking back at her were a pair of blue eyes, a pair of blue eyes she quickly recognised. She felt her breath catch in her throat and her cheeks flushed red instantly.

When he saw her terrified face and the fact that she wasn't making any attempts to move he bent down and picked up the groceries. 'I think these are yours,' he held out his arm for Keira to take them.

Keira came suddenly back to her senses when he spoke and accepted the items he was holding.  'Thanks,' she said quietly. She had now spoken a total of three words to him and she felt utterly stupid. Why was it always in awkward situations that they met? She felt her cheeks burn and she did not dare look at him, afraid that he would see.

'Have a nice day,' she then heard.

With a lot of effort she made herself look up and was once again not able to breathe when she did. He was smiling at her and she felt her hart starting to beat faster, also her hands felt sweaty. It was not just a smile, it was so much more than that. His eyes sparkled and his perfect teeth were just visible beneath his soft looking lips. The warmth of his smile was not lost on her and she couldn't remember ever seeing a smile like this. She swallowed with difficulty and found herself still staring at the stranger. She hastily averted her eyes and staggered into what she thought was the right direction to go home. Trying to bring her breathing back under control she slowed down her pace, she was still shocked from what just had happened. With a swift movement she looked back over her shoulder to get a glimpse of the stranger, but he had already disappeared. She felt somewhat disappointed, but wasn't sure why.

\----------

She had been sleeping when she suddenly was woken up by the sound of her phone. Sleepily she turned on the screen, only to be blinded by the bright light. She felt her heart sink when she saw it was David, she had five missed calls and a couple of texts. When she opened the messages it felt like being punched in the stomach.

**David - How is my little whore doing?**

**David - Pick up your phone.**

**David - I said pick up your phone!**

**David - Next time I'll make you pick up your phone.**

What did he mean by making her pick up the phone? She felt a feeling of fear creep up her spine and the room suddenly felt ice cold, despite her being buried in the duvet. Without thinking she stood up, put on a jumper and slid open the doors to the balcony. The night sky was pitch black and the silvery moonlight made the surroundings almost look ghostly. The stars were shining bright and it made the spotting of constellations easier. She knew sometimes it was even possible to see the Milky way from here. She also still desperately wanted to witness the Northern Lights once in her life, because they amazed her. She had seen it on TV many  times, but she was sure it would be ten times better seeing it in real life.

Looking up into the sky she felt a light breeze on her skin. There was nothing more beautiful than the sky at night, she thought. Definitely, there was nothing more beautiful than his smile, not even his eyes. Keira gasped in exasperation, she absentmindedly had let her mind wander back to the stranger. This couldn't keep happening, she didn't even know him. For God's sake, she didn't even know his name. She felt disgusted with herself and went back inside.

The bathroom was the only room in the chalet with a skylight and she gazed back up to the stars when she sat down on the bath rim. She didn't feel like going back to sleep, but it was no good staying outside. She pulled off the jumper and was faced with her naked skin when she looked in the mirror. The memories of the past were still visible and looked even worse with the moonlight filling the bathroom. She gently touched a few of the marks and let her fingers slide over the aching skin. She couldn't even remember how she had looked without it and it made her feel uneasy. Next time she would stand up to David, she would protect herself and not let this happen again. She was repulsed by herself and it was hard to look at herself with on her skin visible marks of her mistakes. No one was ever touching her again, she thought to herself. She would never let herself get attached to someone again, it would only ever end up hurting her.

With that in mind she went back to bed, trying to ignore the still incoming texts from David. She quickly fell asleep and dreamt about a pair of bright blue eyes and a smile as dazzling as the stars. Luckily for her she couldn't remember anything of it when she woke up the next morning.


	9. Fear

Life in Switzerland had been good to Keira. The people were very friendly and she noticed her German was improving bit by bit. She was now able to follow half of what was said on TV. She also spent a lot of time in the kitchen to learn typical Swiss recipes. Her parents had loved her cooking and she tried to serve up a new dish every night. She felt quite proud that her parents invited over some of their Swiss friends for dinner to show off her newly discovered cooking skills. It was also not possible for human beings to not like cheese, she thought to herself. Keira chuckled, the same was the case with dogs she had found out. One day she had laid the table for breakfast and had gone back into the kitchen to fetch the eggs. When she had came back Molly was looking extremely guilty. It hadn't taken long for her to find out why, because a large block of cheese that a couple of minutes before had been laying on a plate on the table, was now laying next to Molly. There had been chunks missing and there also had been visible bite marks. She had been too shocked and amused to tell Molly off and the dog had been quickly wagging its tail again. Molly was now officially a Swiss dog, she had informed her parents when she had told them the story.

She smiled, right now she was once again standing in the kitchen and Molly was observing her with interest. 'No, you're not getting anything! If I feed you any more dog treats you'll get fat!', she cooed at the dog. Molly didn't seem the understand and wagged her tail while letting her tongue hang out of her mouth.

'I'm serious Mol, all the Labradors get fat in the end and then they aren't able to walk anymore. Is that what you want?' she dropped down on her knees to pat the cute black puppy. Molly rolled on her back as an invite for Keira to rub her tummy.

'You're such a spoilt dog', I'm glad I don't have to train you,' she said to Molly. That was true, her parents would have their hands full with Molly to make her a well trained dog. In the mean time she didn't do anything to help them, she just liked to spoil her, she was so cute. Molly was also one of the only sources of happiness and she would do anything to smile again. 'I'm going to finish making my biscuits, now will you be a good dog and behave?' Molly answered her by licking her face.

Keira pulled a face in disgust and washed her face with water, no Molly definitely wasn't a well behaved dog right now. After cleaning herself she went back to the baking, this time she was making Mailänderli. These were very popular biscuits which Swiss people would eat during Christmas. They were quite basic, but the touch of lemon she had to put in made them heavenly. She only still had to get the hang of glazing, as she always ended up with more glaze on her fingers than on the biscuits.

She was just mixing the butter and the sugar when she heard the familiar sound of her phone. She quickly cleaned her hands and picked up.

'Hey babe, how are you doing?' sounded David's voice.

'I'm baking Swiss biscuits, how are things going for you?' Keira answered. David sounded cheerful so he should be in a good mood.

'Just doing some laundry, nothing special. How are the biscuits?'

'I don't know yet, I only just started,' she smiled.

'How is the dough tasting then?'

'Also not ready,' Keira grinned.

'Damn, you'll have to send me some then when you're finished. Now I don't have any clue,' he laughed.

'I'll make them for you when I'm home again, is that OK?'

'Yeah that'll be fine, babe. Do you have any idea when you'll be back though?' David asked.

'My parents will stay her for another two weeks, so I'll keep them company.'

'Two weeks is very long,' David sighed.

'Don't be silly. My parents really like the fact that I am able to spend some time with them, so I really would like to stay for them. Also I totally fell in love with Switzerland.'

'Alright, it'll just have to do then. I'll make sure the house is clean when you get home, alright?'

'Ok, I'll remind you of that. Go kick butt at university this week!' she told him.

'I think I'll be able to do that,' he grinned.

'I'm sure of it! Now I would like to finish my baking, the biscuits will not bake themselves regrettably.'

'OK babe, make sure not to burn them.'

'I won't, I never let anything burn!' she responded indignantly.

'OK babe, have fun then. I love you,' David reassured her.

'I love you too!' Keira then hung up the phone.

The phone call with David had lightened her mood and she found herself singing while mixing the dough. It didn't take long for all the ingredients to be combined and she popped the dough into the fridge. While cleaning the supplies she had used she was thinking about next week. In a few days Abby would come over to spend the weekend here in Switzerland with her. She was really looking forward to it and she couldn't wait to show Abby around. Tom had been too busy to come too, his new job was very demanding and he hadn't had much free time sadly. They had agreed that Keira and Abby would come visit him once Keira was back in England. Luckily Abby was able to visit and she realised she had missed their crazy evenings together. She had already bought a couple of bottles of wine and she was sure they would all be drained before Abby left. Keira smirked and opened the fridge to retrieve the dough. In no time she had cut out the biscuits and coated them in egg wash. Now it was time for the oven to do its job.

'Keira, these are delicious!' Rose, Keira's mother, had just tasted one of the fresh biscuits.

'You think so?' Keira answered happily.

'They are divine, my love. I would like to know from whom you've got these skills, because surely not from your father or from me.'

'Maybe the milkman,' Keira joked.

'Then you wouldn't have been this good looking,' Keira's father came shuffling into the kitchen.

Keira almost choked on her biscuit and her mother gave him a playful slap on his wrist.

'Can I have one too?' he asked Keira.

'Of course, eat them all if you like,' she pushed the plate with biscuits in his direction.

'Your mother would kill me if I'd do that, thanks for offering though,' he grabbed one of the biscuits and put it into his mouth. 'Delicious,'  he said with his mouth still full of biscuit.

'Behave yourself!' her mother said sharply, 'you have the manners of a child!'

'He also behaves and speaks like a child,' Keira shot her sweetest smile into her father's direction.

'You are no child of mine!' he pouted and he put his hands in the air as a sign of exasperation.

'So, it was the milkman then?' she smirked.

\----------

The sky was a deep colour orange and several pink stripes were complimenting the setting sun. Keira could sit and stare at the sky for hours, she wanted to stay put until the final rays of sunlight had finally gone. Her cheeks were wet from crying and she had holes in her leg from digging her nails into it as hard as possible. The tears would still not stop flowing and the stones that had laid beside here where now laying somewhere at the bottom of the lake. She had used all her strength to throw the stones as far as she was able to and had carried on until she couldn't find any more stones. It hadn't made her feel much better, but it had been useful to let off some of the bottled up anger and frustration.

**\- 1 New voicemail**

Keira overcame the urge to throw her phone into the lake as well. She knew she would regret that afterwards and therefore instead put it back into her pocket. He had some nerves, why was he doing this to her? She closed her eyes and imagined a specific pair of eyes, those bright blue eyes which would sooth anyone who would look into them. It helped, she felt the anger that had started rising again drop off and she relaxed her muscles.

**\- 2 New voicemails**

**\- 3 New voicemails**

She deleted them all, she had heard enough and she knew that she couldn't handle anything more. She already felt afraid and so he had finally achieved his goal, she thought bitterly. She was now afraid to go to sleep, because she was having nightmares. She was afraid to wake up, because her phone would be overloaded with David's texts and calls. She was afraid to get close to people, because she was scared they would hurt her. She was afraid to go anywhere but the lake, because maybe he would suddenly be there. She buried her face into her hands and felt utterly broken.

Growing up she had never been afraid, maybe a little bit because she had grown up in a country divided by war and faith, but it had never been any fear like she was experiencing right now. Every step she took she felt watched and it was driving her crazy, yet she couldn't do anything about it. No matter what she tried, the fear wouldn't go away and it scared her to bits. She stood up abruptly and started to scream her lungs out. The silence was broken and her voice echoed between the mountains. She kept screaming until she was totally empty and fell down to her knees. She didn't care that her clothes were stained and her hair looked a mess. She wanted this feeling to go away, she wanted this nightmare to end. 

\----------

**David - Stop ignoring me.**

**David - You are behaving like a child.**

**David - You think you're smart, don't you?**

**David - That pretty face of yours won't be that pretty for much longer if you don't answer me.**

**David - I want you to touch me, to show me why you like me.**

**David - So you want to play hard to get?**

**David - I can play that game too, but I'll have my own rules.**

**David - One of the rules is that you can't say no, just how you like it.**

Keira scrolled through the messages and deleted them all. She felt nauseous and felt like throwing up. She rushed to the bathroom and was just in time to empty her stomach into the toilet. She wiped her mouth and sat down on the ground. Her whole body was trembling and she couldn't stand up. The sunlight creeping through the window showed her it was already morning, she hadn't even noticed.

'Keira, are you alright, my dear?' Rose knocked on the bathroom door.

'Yes mum, I'm fine, just a bit nauseous,' she replied with difficulty.

'Oh love, I'm sorry. Can I do anything to help you?' her mother sounded concerned.

'Thanks mum, but I don't think you can help me.'

'I'll go make tea, so when you get downstairs you'll have something hot to drink.'

'That will be nice, thanks mum', she replied.

She heard her mother's footsteps disappear and going down the stairs. Her mother had always been very caring and she loved the feeling of being cared for. She slowly stood up and checked if she could keep her balance. She grabbed the sink and waited until she was steady enough to walk. Her face was pale and blotched from crying. It took a lot of effort to apply her make-up as her head still felt dizzy. It wasn't as good a job as normal, but she thought it would be good enough for her parents not to notice anything. She quickly combed her hair and went to find some clean clothes.

When she got downstairs her mother had already poured her a large cup of tea. She also had prepared Keira's hangover breakfast, bacon on toast. She smiled weakly, it was indeed the only thing she could eat whilst feeling nauseous.

'Thanks mum,' she said when she sat down.

'I didn't know what to make for you, what you would like to eat, but I remember this was what you ate after a long night partying,' Rose looked somewhat unsure.

'It's perfect, you're an angel mum,' Keira took a small bite and smiled at her mother.

'I hope it'll make you feel better, honey.'

It took a while to finish the whole toast, but in the end she instantly felt better. She installed herself on the sofa and switched on the TV. She didn't took in anything she saw and instead repeated last night in her head. All the insults, the threats and the accusations, they had hurt, a lot. She hugged the cushion she was holding and tried to focus on the show, failing miserably. Switching channels didn't make it any better and she switched the TV off again. She went upstairs to get her laptop and chose one of the cheesier romcoms she could find to watch. When she had installed herself on the sofa again she pressed play. It wasn't a very high quality film, but it was enjoyable nevertheless. At least it kept her mind from wandering elsewhere and anything that was capable of doing that was gladly accepted. 

\----------

**David - I want you to come home tomorrow.**

**David - I need you to come home tomorrow.**

**David - I'll not stop until you say you'll come home tomorrow.**

**David - I'm not joking.**

**David - I want to fuck you tomorrow and then want you to cook dinner.**

**David - Or I will find someone else to do that, both of those things.**

**David - Wouldn't it be a shame if all the locks where changed?**

**David - I don't think you'll mind, because you don't want to come home anyway.**

**David - I also should just give your stuff away, I need more space and you don't use them anymore.**

Keira felt anger bubbling up when she read the last message. She didn't care anymore, he could do anything he wanted. The fact that he would cheat on her this easily felt like a punch to the stomach, he didn't even care hiding it. Had he done it before? She wanted to believe he hadn't, but something in her head said that it would probably have happened before. She bit her tongue in embarrassment and threw a stone into the lake. This time she had brought a blanket, so that she could lay down and look at the sky. She loved looking at the clouds and imagining them being animals or other things she could think of, it made her forget about all the other things. The clouds reminded her of her childhood when her sister and she had done the same, laying on their backs in the large garden. Her sister always had a broader imagination than she had and sometimes it took her a couple of minutes to figure out what her sister had seen in a particular cloud. They had giggled, screamed in delight and had also said many not so nice things when a cloud was shaped in a form that reminded them of someone they didn't like.  

The air smelled like summer and she could lay her forever, everything looked better from down here. Abby would arrive tomorrow and Keira had been looking forward to it for ages now. She liked being by herself in Switzerland, but every now and then it felt isolated. Especially when David was behaving difficult and there was no one she could talk to. Not that she was able to talk about this with Abby, but just having someone close was already consoling. Abby should have plenty of stories to tell her and she couldn't wait to pick Abby's brain about work. She wanted to hear everything that had been going on and also how the job was. If Abby really liked it, she would probably too. Maybe she could apply for a job there, if Abby wanted her there at least. They could even share a house together, if they would end up working at the same place.

She smiled at herself, she would like that. She knew employees at Boeing could rent small planes for a reduced price, so maybe they could go on flying trips together. They both had gotten their pilot licenses at the same time, they often even had planned their lessons at the same time so they could accompany each other to the airfield and back. It had been so much fun and they couldn't believe they had passed their exams the first time around. On their first flight together they had been terrified to death and they had promised each other to never do it again. However, the second time had not been so bad and on the third try they could even relax. It was the best feeling ever to be up in the sky and to feel as free as a bird. She always felt invincible whenever she flew a plane and she wished she had her own plane. Unfortunately she didn't have a spare few million laying around and stealing one would provide quite difficult, she thought. She smiled, she could always try, you'll never know until you've tried.


	10. Friends

'Abby!'

'Keira!'

Keira spotted her best friend in the large crowd of people dragging their luggage along with them. It had only been a few weeks since they had last seen each other, but it felt like it had been months. She almost fell to the ground when Abby jumped on top of her.

'I've missed you, so much!' she said while squeezing Keira in the process.

'I've missed you too, it's so good to see you. You look amazing!' Keira looked at Abby while holding her hand.

'Thanks! I think it might be down to the fact that they take such good care of me at work,' Abby beamed.

'I think I'm jealous then,' Keira chuckled as she saw the happiness on the face of her friend.

'I've got so much to tell you!'

'I can't wait to hear it all. Life has been rather quiet here in Switzerland,' Keira admitted. She pulled on her sleeve and her eyes darted around the waiting area.

'Don't worry, I'll make you really appreciate the peace and quiet,' Abby swung an arm around Keira.

'Maybe I don't want to know then after all. Let's get out of her though.'

With their arms around each other's shoulders they made their way out of arrivals. Keira had parked her parents' car close by and helped Abby put her luggage into the trunk.

'What on earth did you bring? You're only her for three days,' the suitcase felt like it contained led and Keira almost couldn't lift it up.

'Uhm, you know. Important stuff,' Abby giggled when Keira glanced sideways.

'So, you didn't bring four pairs of shoes like last time, did you?' Keira had lifted an eyebrow and had planted her hands on her hips, eying Abby with a smirk on her face.

'Ehm, no, of course not,' Abby's cheeks turned pink, 'you can only wear one pair, silly.'

'So when I check the suitcase, I'll only find one pair of shoes?' Keira raised her eyebrows once again.

'Yes, only one pair for me. Maybe I brought three other pairs to keep the first pair company though.'

Keira laughed, she knew Abby too well, she had always been indecisive. It was totally normal for her to bring at least three times the amount of underwear she needed and also other items miraculously multiplied when she went on a trip. As long as she would carry her own suitcase, Keira didn't mind. She loved her friend with all of her quirks, the same as Abby did with her.

During the trip home Abby excitedly was explaining all kind of things she had to do during her job. Also describing in detail her colleagues, how she was better than all of them and exclaimed how annoying they could be. All in all it sounded like she was having a really good time, Keira thought. Somehow she felt a bit jealous, Abby was enjoying her life and her she was, hiding in the mountains of Switzerland. Of course she didn't begrudge her, she felt proud that Abby was so happy and doing well. She let Abby talk for the whole duration of the trip back home, she herself didn't really feel like talking and Abby had some amazing stories to listen to. Every now and then she nodded and laughed, while in the mean time she tried to focus on the road. These next few days were going to be awesome.

'Abby darling, how are you?' Rose hugged Abby tightly.

'I'm fine Miss O'Donnell, thank you very much for letting me stay her for a couple of days,' Abby said happily as she let go of Rose.

'No problem, love. It is entirely our pleasure, it's good to see Keira spending some time with friends. Oh and please call me Rose, Miss O'Donnell makes me sound old,' with a sigh Rose rolled her eyes when she spoke that last sentence.

Keira had a little chuckle, her mother would do anything to not be reminded of her age. Not that she had something to be ashamed of, she was looking a lot younger than her actual age. She always told Keira that eating healthy, exercising and staying out of the sun were a great contribution to that. She had followed that advise when she left home, she didn't like to sunbathe anyway. It felt like being a steak that was being cooked and she couldn't imagine someone liking that feeling.

'I was dying to come visit, Keira told me a lot about living in Switzerland and it's good to have a break from work,' Abby said in excitement.

'I hope you'll enjoy your stay here, if you need anything just ask me or the others. We are more than happy to help you,' Rose had put her hand on Abby's arm and gave her a motherly smile.

At that moment George, who had been taking Molly for a walk, came back in. The little puppy was overexcited and almost hit the doorpost when she tried to run into the living room.

'You must be Molly!' Abby had dropped down on her knees and was now rubbing Molly's belly.  'She's so cute! Can I take her home, please?' she begged looking up at Keira and Rose.

'I'm afraid we like her too much to let her go, but you can cuddle her as much as you like when you're here,' Rose grinned.

Abby kept playing with Molly until George, Keira's father, walked in and shook Abby's hand. He got them all something to drink and they sat down at the table. Molly was sitting proudly on Abby's lap and Keira's parents asked Abby all sort of questions. Naturally Keira's father was especially interested in hearing her stories, working in the same field of industry meant they had a lot in common. Keira asked herself if one day she could do the same with her father. She desperately wanted to make her parents proud, she didn't want them to think they had raised a disappointment. When she saw her father animatedly discussing some mechanical part of the wings, she told herself to start looking for a job, and actually doing it this time. She had set the same goal many times before, but she had always chickened out after reading the requirements. She didn't think she had the right skills and the personality traits they asked for. Certainly they were not looking for a person like her. She forced a smile on her face and joined the conversation.

\----------

'Wow, it's really beautiful here,' Abby´s eyes widened in awe when she saw the sunlight illuminating the mountains and the green glowing hills.

Keira had taken Abby for a walk to show her the town and the nature surrounding it. Abby had never been to Switzerland and she had told her already a couple of times that it was one of the most beautiful places she had been to. She agreed, she could never get enough of being outside and breathing in the fresh mountain air. It was entertaining to see Abby enjoying herself and hearing her small gasps for air in amazement when they walked along, it made her feel good. Abby was taking photos of almost everything and also made sure they posed together for what Abby called bragging purposes. She was asked a lot of questions along the way to explain the architecture, the locals, the food, the animals and a whole lot of other things. She happily answered them all, she was glad she could contribute to the conversation. To her surprise she knew a lot more than she thought and that made her appreciate the place even more.

'What are those? They are not sheep, are they?' Abby pointed at a group of small brown animals clambering on one of the mountainsides.

Keira frowned and she tried to locate the direction Abby was pointing at and quickly recognized the horned animals. 'They are chamois,' she explained. 'It's kind of like a goat, but it's living in the mountains.'

'They are beautiful,' Abby narrowed her eyes to get a better look at them.

'They stay there also during winter, but they usually go down a bit lower.'

'Do they come in different colours?' Abby had furrowed her forehead and was eying the mountain to spot more chamois.

'No, they're always brown, although their fur can turn somewhat grey during winter. You can always recognise them by their white and black stripes on their backs and heads.'

'I would like one,' Abby said while her eyes were still focused on the group of chamois.

'I don't think they'll make very friendly pets. Those horns look really sharp,' Keira laughed.

'I will just take a female, then I'll don't have to worry about that,' Abby pouted.

'You're wrong, the females also have horns,' with her hands apart she tried to show her friend how large they could become.

'Then I'll just take a baby,' Abby pouted again.

'You know they'll grow, don't you?' Keira raised her eyebrows while chuckling at her friend.

'OK fine, I'll leave them here and go buy five cats to repair my now broken heart,' she exclaimed dramatically.

'By this rate you'll end up with more than a hundred,' Keira chuckled when she imagined Abby with her house full of cats.

'And you'll end up with a hundred dogs, don't deny it!' Abby said defensively and she crossed her arms.

'We should start an animal shelter, then people won't think we're strange.'

'Oh they will, even without the animals,' Abby snorted.

'But it would be nice to have so many animals,' with a hopeful look Keira had turned her head back to the animals on the mountain.

'Yeah, but think about the amounts of poop you have to scoop,' Abby smirked.

'Right, let's not start an animal shelter!' Keira said quickly.

'Come on dork, let's move on, there are so many things I still want to see!'

'Fine. Although I can't show you the best thing yet, therefore you have to come back during winter,' with a look of pity on her face Keira gestured that she was sorry.

'I love snow, I'll definitely come back when there's snow. You can teach me how to ski!' Abby suddenly sounded excited.

'Oh God, I don't know how many years it has been since the last time I went skiing. But I can teach you snowboarding if you like?' with a laugh Keira pushed a lock of hair out of her face, but the wind kept blowing it back.

'Both will be fine, as long as I can go down the slopes!'

'I can just push you, you don't need any skills for that to reach the bottom,' Keira poked Abby jokingly.

'You are the worst friend ever. I don't even know why I hang out with you,' Abby shot her a disgusted glance.

'Because you love me, that's why,' Keira stuck her tongue out at Abby.

'Yeah, I guess that's true. Now let's show me the village centre,' Abby grabbed Keira's arm and dragged her along.

\----------

'Can you pour me another glass?' Abby giggled while holding out her empty glass.

Keira reached down to the ground to grab the bottle of wine. It was already the second bottle of wine in half an hour and they both were giggling a lot. Keira filled up Abby's glass and then swiftly filled her own too, it took some concentration because her hands weren't that steady anymore, but she managed in the end. They were lying on Keira's bed and a large bag of crisps was carefully positioned in between them. Keira could already feel the wine going to her head and everything Abby said sounded funny.

'So, go on, tell me about that second guy,' Keira wanted to hear more of the story.

'Well, he's tall. He also has very broad shoulders, brown hair and green eyes. Oh, and also a very cute butt,' this initiated another round of giggles from the both of them.

'You have been staring at his butt?' Keira had raised her eyebrows.

'Yes, and almost even touched it once,' she laughed embarrassedly, 'he was bending over to get something and well, his butt was very prominent.'

'But you didn't, did you?' Keira studied her friends embarrassed face.

'No,' she sighed, 'but I would've liked to.'

'Go out for drinks then, give him alcohol and I'm sure he doesn't mind one bit you touching his butt,' with a wiggle of her eyebrows Keira laughed.

'He is very hot though,' Abby mused on the prospect of touching his butt.

'He is? What would you score him?' this had taken Keira's interest.

'A solid eight, definitely. Maybe a nine when I've touched his butt,' they were giggling again.

'You are such a pervert,' Keira shook her head in disbelief. 'Is he the only good looking guy there?'

'Nooooo, not by a long time. Working in an almost male dominated industry does have its perks,' Abby said with a longing smile.

'Tell me more!' now Keira was interested.

'If you get me more wine, I will tell you.'

Keira filled up their glasses again and put a large hand of crisps into her mouth. She held out the bag to Abby so she could also get some.

'Ok, there's Steve, Jason, Johnny and Adam. These are the ones I can remember by name, but there are a lot more where they came from,' with a mischievous smile Abby was sipping on her wine.

'Who's the best looking?' Keira snickered when she spotted her friend's dreamy face.

'Jason, yes, definitely Jason. I once saw him changing into a clean shirt, and his body is really hot. When he saw me looking he gave me a wink, so that's bonus points.'

'He saw you looking? What happened then?' Keira was adjusting her legs so that the blood flow wasn't cut off.

'Well, you know. Going out, having fun, ending up sleeping together,' Abby said nonchalantly.

'Abbs, you didn't!' Keira threw her pillow at Abby.

'He was very good if you know what I mean,' she grinned while throwing back the pillow.

'I don't need to know,' Keira yelled, 'I already know too much about your sex life, because you are such a blabbermouth.'

'OK fine, but I can confirm that his butt was also very cute.'

'You're insufferable,' Keira shook her head in disbelief.

'I know, but you still love me,' she said while draining her wine again.

'I always will unfortunately,' Keira sighed.

'So, now you tell me about all the good looking guys here in Switzerland,' Abby's eyes were glimmering at the prospect of more good looking guys.

'You know I have a boyfriend right?' Keira shot Abby an indignant glare.

'It's not forbidden to _look_ at other guys, you're only not allowed to touch them,' Abby smiled mischievously.

'Oh Abbs, you'll never change,' Keira sighed.

'So, tell me about all the hot guys.'

'There aren't any,' Keira answered sounding annoyed.

'You're lying or blind. Which of the two is it?' Abby giggled and the wine had definitely gone to her head.

'Neither, just haven't been looking,' Keira tried to sound nonchalant.

'You sure? There isn't one guy which got your attention?' Abby lifted an eyebrow in surprise, clearly not convinced.

Keira shifted her eyes to the ceiling and tried not to think about that pair of blue eyes. Not thinking about his smile was even harder, that dazzling smile he had given her was hard to forget. She felt something stir in her stomach when she thought about it, no way that she would tell Abby about the stranger.

'You're thinking about him now, are you?' Abby's voice suddenly sounded in Keira's ear.

'You're crazy, there's no guy!' Keira immediately felt her cheeks flush and she blinked with feigned innocence. Unfortunately for her, Abby knew her better than that.

'I know you're lying,' Abby said while putting focus on the word lying by speaking it very slowly.

'No I'm not!' Keira yelled while trying to push her friend off the bed.

'Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell David, I swear,' Abby giggled.

'It's just a guy I have seen only twice and only spoke three words to. I don't know anything about him, not even his name,' Keira sighed and she was immediately thinking about those perfect blue eyes again.

'I knew it, I knew there was someone!' Abby was now jumping up and down on the bed. 'So what's he like?'

'You know, normal,' Keira shrugged.

Abby rolled her eyes and gave Keira an incredulous look. 'You know something about him, right?'

'He has beautiful eyes,' Keira said before she could stop herself. She blushed when she realised what she had said. She had not been wanting to tell Abby about the stranger at all, but Abby had always been very persuasive. Also the fact that they had finished two bottles of wine certainly didn't help. However, she already started to regret saying anything, as always. Why oh why  did she tell Abby about his eyes? She groaned and pulled her pillow over her face.

'It's our little secret, alright?' Abby said trying to reassure her.

'You make it sound like it's a thing. He's just a stranger with prettier eyes than others,' Keira said with a muffed voice from still having the pillow on her face.

'If you say so.'

Keira was sure that Abby had pulled a face and didn't believe her, although she could not see her face. She was sure though, he was just a stranger and he would stay a stranger. Also anyone could have gotten those eyes, she would have found them pretty on every human being.

'More wine please,' this time it was Keira holding out her glass.  

\----------

The last day of Abby's stay in Switzerland had arrived, Keira's father would bring her to the airport in the evening. They decided to spent their final hours together in the large garden, lazily sipping drinks and sharing stories they hadn't had the time for to tell before. The slices of the pie they had baked where already finished and Keira had to restrain herself from not eating the whole damn thing. She had tried to teach Abby how to bake, but it had ended up in Keira baking the pie and Abby hovering and looking over her shoulder whilst eating the dough. If Abby had eaten any more of the ingredients there wouldn't even have been enough left to make a pie. This time she had made an Engadiner nut tart, which was basically dough stuffed with walnuts, honey and cream. She was rather pleased with the end result and Abby believed that was down to the case of her checking the ingredients. Keira felt a smile creep onto her face when she thought about that. She then turned her attention back on Abby and continued to listen to one of her wild stories.

'Do you remember Julia? You know the quiet girl that was always sitting behind us?' Abby suddenly sat up.

'Yes, I do, why?' Keira watched Abby in surprise.

'I heard stories about her, Sara keeps me informed about everyone. It's the best thing ever, so much drama!' Abby said excitedly.

'So, what about her?' Keira was curious what the story was about.

'You also remember Professor MacDougal?' Abby tried not to laugh.

'The one that taught us Thermodynamics and Fluid Mechanics in our second year?' Keira vaguely remembered the old man.

'Yes, that's the one I'm talking about!' Abby sounded excited.

'He was the one with the white beard, right?'

'Yes, the one that looked like Father Christmas indeed,' the both chuckled at that memory.

'OK, now you have lost me,' Keira said with a puzzled look on her face.

'Sara told me that a couple of weeks ago one of the other professors was looking for his briefcase, he apparently lost it. So he checked all of the lecture rooms, also the ones which weren't used for some reason. Only then he found out that one of them wasn't as empty as he had imagined, because Professor MacDougal and Julia were already occupying it.'

'So?' Keira still didn't understand.

'Oh Keir, you're always so innocent! She was basically sucking his dick,' Abby tried not to laugh.

'Oh my,' Keira said in shock, 'I can't believe that. Who would do that in an lecture room?'

'I'm more concerned why someone our age wants to suck off an ancient professor.'

'Extra credit?' Keira smirked.

'I would have to be paid millions before I would do something like that. I mean it's disgusting, but not when you can get a million pounds,' Abby wiggled her eyebrows.

'I'm still in shock,' Keira remarked, 'she was always so quiet.'

'I know! But you know what they say: still waters run deep,' Abby smirked.

'I don't want to hear any more about Julia and the word deep in one sentence,' Keira whimpered, 'this already is a mental image I never wanted to have.'

'You're such a baby sometimes. Sweet innocent little Keira.'

'I'm not innocent!' Keira exclaimed.

'Really?' Abby arched her eyebrows.

'Yes,' Keira said bitterly. Although she knew Abby and herself were thinking about a different description for innocent.

'Alright, alright, don't look sad baby Keira!' Abby cooed.

'You're so annoying,' Keira replied dramatically.

At that moment they suddenly felt spits of rain. Keira's eyes moved up to the sky and saw that the blue sky had made room for dark grey clouds. Abby shifted her glare back at Keira and they both were confused, five minutes ago the weather had been perfect. Without any warning the rain suddenly chucked down, soaking them in seconds.

'Nooooo!' yelled Abby while quickly getting to her feet.

'Come on, let's go inside,' Keira yelled back.

They sprinted towards the house but it was already in vain, they were soaked to the bone. They stood in the hall trembling and stared at each other in disbelief.

'What on earth was that?' Keira exclaimed.

'I don't know, maybe we've upset the weather gods!'

'Well, that's not how I intended our last day to end,' Keira pulled a face.

'Life is always an adventure, just go with it,' Abby said happily.

'You're a true optimist, as always.'

'Now I would like to put on some dry clothes, I'm freezing,' Abby indeed looked rather cold.

'You can take a shower to warm up and then we'll have a cup of hot chocolate, alright?' Keira tried to cheer up her friend.

'Yes please, sounds good!'


	11. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, this chapter is a bit longer than usual and the music I listened to while writing this chapter is Ludovico Einaudi - Le Onde. I hope it will make you understand the chapter a bit better!

After the sudden downpour in the garden the sun came out again and it looked like the sky had been blue the whole day. Keira undid herself from her wet shoes and found a place for them to dry. Abby had already turned on the shower when Keira got upstairs. She chuckled, Abby must have been really cold then. She opened her cabinet to find some dry clothes and put them neatly on the bed, waiting for Abby to finish. The wet clothes were sticking to her body and trying to get them off proved to be rather difficult. She had already pulled of her shirt and her pants when she heard the door of her bedroom opening.

'Hey Keir, do you have a new bottle of-,' Abby abruptly stopped talking and her eyes were focused on Keira.

Shit, she thought. She felt Abby's eyes on her body and she quickly tried to cover herself up with her wet shirt, needless to say that it didn't help very much.

'My God, Keir, what happened to you?' Abby's eyes were fixated on Keira's body in astonishment.

'Nothing, fell during one of my walks, nothing serious,' Keira screwed her eyes shut.

'Oh Keir,' Abby's voice trembled and Keira saw tears forming in her eyes.

'Really, it's nothing. I'm fine,' Keira tried to force a smile, but failed. This was not really happening, this wasn't supposed to be happening. She felt embarrassed and she didn't have any excuses left to make. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she felt her body crumple. She sat down on the bed and tried to make herself as small as possible, not wanting Abby to see more and not daring to catch her eyes. She had became so skilled in hiding and covering up, that she thought it would pass by unnoticed. But now she had failed, failed to hide her mistakes. She felt the mattress dip and Abby reached out to take her hand. Keira tried to pull away, but Abby's grip was firm and she didn't let go.

'Keir,' Abby's voiced sounded small, 'talk to me please. What happened, who did this to you?'

'No one,' Keira felt her voice break.

'You couldn't have done this to yourself Keir, someone has been hurting you. By the looks of it for a long time already,' Abby was crying. 'Oh Keir, why didn't you tell me?'

'I was scared,' Keira focussed her attention on the floor.

'Of course you were scared, that's normal Keir,' Abby pulled Keira into a cautious hug.

'I feel so embarrassed, I didn't want you to know. I didn't want anyone to know,' Keira blinked furiously.

'But why? I could've helped you,' Abby said helplessly.

'Because it's my own fault, I didn't make it stop. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.'

'This is not your fault, do you hear me?' Abby had grabbed Keira's face. 'Please believe me, this isn't your fault!'

Their eyes met, but Keira broke it off. She felt the tears dripping on her knees and shivered from the droplets touching the skin. She was cold, really cold. She wasn't wearing any clothes except from her underwear and she was still soaked from the rain. Abby must have noticed her shivering, because she grabbed the blanket that was laying on the bed and tucked it around her body.

'Oh Keir, I wish I had known. How could I've been so stupid and not notice something before,' Abby sounded dejected and her hands were trembling.

'It's not your fault, it's mine,' Keira said woefully. Her head was foggy and she felt guilt starting to rise.

'How long has this been going on?' Abby wanted to know.

'About six months now,' Keira almost whispered. Admitting it to herself was just as bad as telling Abby and she shivered.

'Six months?!' Abby cried out loud.

'I'm sorry,' now Keira sounded crestfallen. She knew she had screwed up, but she had been weak once again.

'You don't have to be sorry about anything, we'll make this stop. I promise you,' Abby looked devastated and eyes were wet with tears.

'I don't think that's possible,' Keira looked down at her hands again. If she hadn't been able to stop it, how could anybody else?

'Why?' Abby asked sounding confused.

'Because I'm weak,' Keira felt more tears coming up.

'You're not weak, far from it!' Abby's face was now covered in tears again. 'Keir, please tell me who did this to you!' her voice sounded pleading.

'I can't tell you,' it felt like someone was closing of her throat and she struggled to breath. She had to tell Abby, she knew that much, but she couldn't.

'Of course you can,' Abby encouraged her. She tugged a strand of wet hair behind Keira's ear.

'I'm sorry,' Keira couldn't bring herself to tell her, this was so hard to do.

'Was it your father?' Abby said faintly. Her face was pale and it was clear that she hadn't want to ask that question.

Keira shook her head, her father was the friendliest man on earth, he wouldn't hurt a fly.

'Was it the guy you work with?'

Keira thought she meant Michael so she shook her head again. It stayed silent for a few moments.

'It's David, isn't it?' Abby said quietly. Recognition dawned on her face and the look of shock was visible in her eyes.

When she heard his name spoken out lout Keira started crying inconsolably, putting her face into her hands. She felt all the energy she had left escape her body and all the pain she had suppressed over the last months came to the surface. The pain was all consuming and she suddenly felt his hands everywhere. She felt his hands punching her head, banging her head against the wall, pushing her to the ground, smacking her face. She tried to stop the pain, but she couldn't, it was too much. She felt hopeless when his hands were pushing her against a table to make her fall over, she felt his teeth biting her skin, she tried to push him away but she couldn't. She tried to scream, but her voice didn't work. She tried to close her eyes to make it all go away, but that didn't work either.

She slumped her body against Abby's shoulder and kept crying, while Abby was stroking her back. She kept crying until it became physically impossible to continue. She still felt his hands on her body and his touches almost felt real. She shivered and she could only feel frustration and pain, she felt his fingers stroking her cheek and then suddenly turning into a fist against her face. She automatically cowered in response. Make it stop, she thought, please make it stop, she would do anything to make it stop. His hands were now on her wrists, keeping her from getting away. She tried to twist her body, but his grip wouldn't budge. She felt her fingers go numb from the force he was using and he punched her for not keeping still. His hands were all over her body, doing things she didn't want. She tried to hold on to her clothes, but he was stronger. With all her strengths she tried to keep her legs closed, but again he was stronger. She felt dirty and used, she wanted to scream, scream until there was nothing left. Why wasn't she able to scream? She wrapped her arms around her own body, protecting herself from something that wasn't there. Maybe she had finally gone insane, but it didn't matter, as long as this pain would stop.

She didn't know for how long they had been sitting on the bed. The images in her head had slowly faded away and the pain she felt inside was still aching, but she was used to that. Her body was exhausted and she couldn't look at it anymore. She was afraid that when she did, when she saw the marks that he had left on her, it would all start over again. She knew she couldn't handle that, strained from all her energy her body felt numb and like it wasn't even hers. How much she wanted it not to be hers, she was repulsed by it.

'Hey,' it was Abby's voice, it sounded soft and it was clear that she wasn't sure how to approach her best friend.

Keira opened her eyes wide and detected fear in Abby's eyes, although she couldn't think of why that would be. She didn't know what to say.

'You don't have to say anything Keir, let me speak.'

Keira nodded, but even nodding took so much effort now.

'I don't really know what to say to you, Keir. I'm so shocked and feel absolutely awful. I'm such a horrible friend for not noticing this earlier, especially when I now see how bad it is,' Abby's voice trembled and new tears started to form in her eyes. Her wet hair was stuck to her face and she looked up to the ceiling.

'I always tried to cover it up, I didn't want anyone to know,' Keira said with a small voice. She had always succeeded and this moment of inattentiveness had ruined it all, although she felt lighter for it.

'I would like to say you did a good job with that, but this isn't something to joke about,' it was a weak smile that was playing on Abby's lips, but at least no new tears seemed to form.

Keira noticed herself giving Abby a slight hint of a smile. It always had been in Abby's nature to make light of a situation and she often was thankful for that.

'Why didn't you leave him Keir?' Abby sighed as she played with the blanket nervously.

'I love him Abbs,' Keira didn't want to admit it, but it was true. That was the only thing that was keeping her and also the fact that she didn't want to ruin his live made it hard for her to leave.

'Keir, you can't let people doing this to you, even if you love them,' Abby's tone was harsher than before and her eyes showed disapproval.

'I know,' Keira's voice sounded weak and she hung her head.

'Why do you love him Keir, why do you still love him after what he did to you?' it was a combination of disbelief and pity that was now visible on Abby's face.

'I don't know,' Keira said tentatively, 'I just do.'

'Oh Keir,' Abby's eyes welled up with tears again and she grabbed Keira's hands.

'I'm sorry, that's why I said that it's my own fault,' she said without looking at Abby. She couldn't face her, not now she was at her worst.

'It isn't your fault!' Abby raised her voice, 'please, believe me when I say that.'

'I can't,' Keira answered in a bitter voice and she really couldn't think of who else to blame for this mess.

They sat in silence for a while, both not knowing what to say to the other or what to do.

Abby had put her head in her hands and stared out the window miserably. 'I still can't believe David did this to you. I always liked him, he seemed so nice.'

'He still is,' Keira told her. She knew deep down inside that the old David was still there, she saw snippets of him during the week and she hoped he could go back to that one day.

Abby gazed up at her with a face that was torn between shock and disbelief. 'You can't say that Keir,' Abby's eyes were bewildered.

'He still loves me, I know he does. He even cooks me breakfast with extra bacon, because he knows I like it,' Keira smiled weakly. Maybe she was also trying to convince herself, but she didn't know anything anymore.

'Keir, people who really love you don't hurt you. You know that's true.'

'But often he is still the same David I fell in love with, I know he isn't in his right mind when he does these things,' Keira bowed her head in shame.

'Why?' Abby studied Keira's despondent face, clearly not understanding where she was coming from.

'All the bad things started happening when he started drinking. First it wasn't that much, but it gradually increased over time. I didn't really notice how much he was actually drinking, because he was out quite often. He became more irritated, sure, but I thought he was just going through a bad phase. However, it only became worse. He was drunk almost every day, and I mean _really_ drunk. He became angrier and angrier and I think I was the only one he could take is anger out on. I tried to calm him down at first, but that only made it worse. So I let it happen to me.'

'I can't even imagine what you've been through,' Abby was still silently crying. Her shoulders had dropped and she didn't even care that she had been sitting in a rather uncomfortable position for a while now.

'A lot of things I wouldn't wish on anyone,' Keira sighed when memories started to reply in her head.

'You have to get checked out by a doctor though,' Abby suddenly sounded serious.

'No, that's not necessary,' Keira answered quickly.

'It really is Keir, you should know if he caused you any damage,' the worried tone was back in Abby's voice.

'No, I mean it's not necessary because I got checked out already,' Keira averted Abby's gaze, she had wanted to keep this from her if she could.

'Really? Wow, that must have been really hard for you to do,' Abby sounded somewhat relieved, 'but I think it's good that you went.' She didn't catch on to what Keira actually had meant.

'I had no choice,' Keira said before she could stop herself. Damn it, why wasn't she able to control herself better?

'Why?' Abby asked curiously and her puffed eyes were focused on Keira's face.    

Keira bit her lip, she didn't want to make the situation any worse than it already was. Abby looked really upset and it was her fault. However, she didn't think she could lie anymore. She had been lying for so long now and it had became increasingly difficult to keep up with her lies. She had to stop lying to get out of this mess.

'I had no choice,' Keira admitted.

'Why?' Abby asked again, sounding wary.

'Because...', Keira stopped for a moment, 'because I already was in the hospital.' There, she had said it and she slammed her eyes shut to not have to see Abby's reaction. She could hear Abby's sharp intake of breath and when she finally eyed her friend she saw her sobbing quietly in her hands. 

'He didn't...,' Abby began, but she couldn't end her sentence.

'I guess he did,' answered Keira wryly for her. There was no point in denying it now sadly and she ran her fingers through her wait hair.

'Oh Keir, you must have been so afraid. Was there someone there for you?'

'David picked me up in the morning,' Keira shrugged her shoulders.

The room fell silent again and Keira felt horrible, it was hard for her to tell these things. The things she had promised herself not share with anyone, but it felt also somewhat liberating. There was less weight on her shoulders and she could breath more freely.

'You know you have to leave him, right? You have to move out as soon as you get home,' Abby sounded urgent and she straightened her back slightly.

'I can't Abbs, I really can't. I don't know what he would do without me and I still love him,' Keira now stared fixedly at the floor. She would be nothing without him, she didn't even have a place to live.

'Keir!' Abby said sharply. 'You have to move out. You can't stay with him!'

'No, I'll just have to stand up for myself, be stronger. I'll help him get through this phase and then everything will go back to normal,' Keira answered sounding flat. She had to believe in this, otherwise there would be no hope left for her.

'You know it won't,' Abby's voice sounded soft again and her fingers had started to bleed from biting her fingernails.

'It has to,' Keira answered while biting her lip. It had to be, she had to fix this and then everything would be alright. She had to believe that, otherwise she had nothing left to hold on to. She felt fresh tears leaking from her eyes and she hadn't had the strength to wipe them away.

Abby shook her head in disbelief, still coming to grips with the whole situation. 'You have to get out now Keir, otherwise you will end up even worse one day. I can't stand the fact of leaving you alone with him, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you again.'

'You don't have to worry about me, I have done this on my own for the last half year and I can keep going. This is why I didn't tell anyone, people shouldn't worry about me, I'm not worth it,' Keira fumbled with the blanket that was wrapped around her. She didn't want anyone to go through to this with her, it already was horrible enough all by herself.

'I'll always worry about you, even if you say I don't have to,' Abby's voice broke and she darted her eyes around the room, desperately trying to find something to fix the situation.

'I'm sorry,' Keira said. It was what she did best, apologising, because she was too incompetent to get out of the bad situation in the first place.

'Look at you!' Abby said half yelling and half crying, 'you look a mess!'

Keira closed her eyes, she didn't want to look at herself, but she new Abby was right. The evidence was right in front of her, but she tried her hardest to ignore it.

'Look at your arms, you back, your face and even your thighs. God Keira, I don't know what exactly he did to you, but you can't let him do it anymore! It's clear that besides beating you up he also made you do things you clearly didn't want. No one has to endure that Keira, please let him go,' Abby´s eyes lingered on Keira's bruised body and she ended her sentence in a whisper.

'That's why I have to go back, if I go now he will find someone else to do this to. I can't let him do this to someone else, it hurts too much,' Keira felt her heart aching, 'it hurts so fucking bad.' There, she had finally admit it and she couldn't believe how good it felt.

'I know Keir,' Abby pulled her into a hug, 'I really do, but I can't let you get hurt anymore. Come stay with me please.'

'I can't Abbs, I'm so sorry,' Keira felt desperate, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to run away and to never come back again. Leaving this mess far behind and going somewhere where no one could find her, so she would never end up getting hurt again.

'I can't make you, can I?' Abby sounded hurt and she blinked a couple of times.

'I'm afraid not, I'm so sorry to get you into this mess,' Keira closed her eyes and bit her lip harder than she had intended to.

'Your mess is my mess, I just don't want to lose you,' Abby's eyes were filled with tears and pleading was audible in her voice.

'You won't,' Keira tried to reassure her. This was just what she had wanted to avoid, no one should worry about her because she wasn't worth it.

'I'm afraid I will. I'm so scared now that something really bad will happen to you,' Abby's eyes were wide and her hands started to tremble again.

'I'll make sure that that doesn't happen, don't worry,' Keira tugged on her hair, she had to convince herself as much as she had to convince her best friend.

'I love you Keir, please be careful,' Abby´s eyes flickered hopefully and she was now squeezing Keira's hand so hard that it had turned white.

'I will, I always do,' Keira whispered and she couldn't even feel the pain in her hand.

'Promise me,' Abby's swollen eyes looked into Keira's and she picked up the other hand.

'I promise,' Keira answered with a squeeze and their eyes locked in a shared understanding.


	12. Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on there will be two POVs sometimes, I hope you like it!

Blue skies were slowly fading into deep purple ones, it meant that twilight was setting in. Keira was sitting on one of the larger rocks at the side of the lake, her eyes were closed and she tried to let the surroundings calm her down. This was her favourite moment of the day, seeing the sky change colours and covering everything in a bright orange glow. It was magical, she thought, it always made her realise how beautiful the world can be. She took a deep breath and the scent of night filled her nostrils. Some people had called her weird for saying a day smelled different at night than in the morning, but she was sure of it. The same went for the different seasons, with her favourite being winter. It just added to the beauty of nature and it also made you appreciate the different moments in life. She felt herself calming down little by little until she could see her hands had stopped shaking.

Life had been hard since Abby had left. Keira was constantly confused and felt a mixture between guilt and relief. How she felt could easily change several times a day and it felt like being on a never ending roller coaster. At some points she had enjoyable conversations with David, Abby or Tom, but she also frequently had moments of fear and then not being able to face anyone. Besides, David was still not leaving her alone at night, he was becoming even more aggressive to be precise. She felt herself becoming even more isolated and her parents now were also starting to worry. She had told them that she was just missing college and her friends there, but that they didn't have to worry because she just needed time to adapt to the new situation. Her parents were the last persons in the world she wanted to worry about her, she had tried so hard to become the perfect daughter. Now she was already failing in having a successful career, she didn't want to fail on any other level. They had worked so hard to get her sister and herself where they are now and they had sacrificed a lot to raise them. Keira felt tears welling up again and before she knew it her cheeks were wet. She felt a shiver down her spine and she sobbed quietly while looking at the lake, admiring the mirror like surface of the water.

The sudden noise of footsteps made her startle, she had been absorbed in her thoughts and hadn't been paying attention to her surroundings. She couldn't even remember ever seeing someone else here, so she hadn't thought it necessary. Her heart was racing and she was afraid to look up. To her horror se saw that the person sat down next to her.

'Hey,' a soft voice said.

Now Keira felt obliged to acknowledge the new arrival, so she lifted her head to see who it was. Her heart suddenly skipped a beat when she locked eyes with the stranger. She knew those eyes, because they had been in her thoughts a lot lately. She could recognise those penetrating blue eyes everywhere, because they were intriguing her since she first saw them. That spark in his eyes was still there and she found herself not being able to avert her gaze. He had a worried look on his face and she didn't know how to respond to his sudden appearance.

'What's wrong?' his voice sounded warm and soft again, but also some concern was now detectable.

Keira felt uneasy with that question and wrung her hands nervously. 'Nothing, I'm OK,' she couldn't think of anything else to say. She quickly tried to wipe her tears before he could see it, but she realised he had already noticed.

'You don't look like it,' he glanced sideways to meet her eyes again. He saw that she was looking down at her feet and was fiddling with her hands. 'I'm Sebastian, by the way,' he said trying to get her attention again.

Sebastian, Keira repeated in her head, his name was Sebastian. He looked like a Sebastian to her, so the name suited him. Especially when he pronounced his name with that slight German accent, she liked it. With a hesitant look on her face she replied, 'Keira.'

They both said nothing for a while, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Keira used that time to observe the stranger, who now had a name. She didn't want him to notice, so she watched him from the corner of her eye. His hair was the same as what she remembered, although it seemed somewhat more ruffled. He was dressed casually and she could see he was rather lean. She could see his eyes were fixed on the lake and he was drumming his fingers on one of the rocks. It was strange to sit her with Sebastian, because she didn't know anything about him apart from his name.

Sebastian on the other hand was absorbed in his own thoughts. It had been a long time since he had came to this place, but it had always been great to clear his head. The pressure on him was very high, so he needed space to think. Although he didn't envision someone else already being here, because normally there wasn't. He was shocked to find someone who was crying, she was looking like her world had came crashing down. It would have been very selfish to have turned around and gone back home, he wanted to at least make her feel less worse than she was now.

Sebastian's bright eyes were focused on Keira again. 'You don't have to tell me what is wrong, but you are clearly not OK. Is it alright for me to stay for a while?'

Hearing his voice made Keira blink, he had taken her by surprise. She guessed she didn't mind, it was somehow nice to not be alone. Although he was a stranger, she felt rather at ease already. She nodded in his direction and his mouth turned into a slight smile.

'We've met before, although I'm not sure if you remember,' Sebastian began and his blue eyes were now back on Keira.

The fact that he remembered her surprised Keira, because they only met twice and very briefly. She didn't think someone would bother to remember her and sure it had to be because once she had dropped all her groceries. Her cheeks turned a slight pink when she remembered the embarrassing encounter. 'It's hard to forget the fact I dropped all my groceries right in front of a stranger,' Keira said.

'I almost walked right through you, so it was my fault,' a corner of Sebastian's mouth lifted when he said that. She had looked adorable with that look of horror on her face and he had felt rather bad for frightening her. He thought she had been the same girl he helped in the supermarket once, because her reddish brown hair was not something you saw in this town very often. It was strange to meet her like this, far away from everyone and her looking so vulnerable. He knew how it felt to feel utterly lost, like the world was against you and it wasn't something he would recommend to anyone.

The skies were now dark blue and the moon had taken over duty from the sun. An owl was hooting and the lake had turned into a black mirror. There was a slight breeze, but because it was the middle of summer it was still rather warm.

Sebastian looked up at the moon while resting his hands behind him on the rock he was sitting on. 'It's beautiful isn't it?'

'Yes, it really is,' Keira answered as she also looked up.

'Do you come here often?' Sebastian's voice had a curious ring to it.

'As often as possible,' she said. Keira thought about all the hours she had spent at the lake. They had been good hours and also very bad ones, but the place itself had never let her down.

'Also wanting to escape from life then?' he grinned and he scratched his neck.

'Something like that,' she answered. She was taken aback when he said that, so she wasn't the only one who used this place to hide from people.

'I used to come here a lot, it really is a magical place. I thought I was the only one who knew about it,' Sebastian said and he looked up to the sky again. The moonlight reflected in his eyes and it made them look even bluer.

'Me too,' Keira said. She shot a glance in his direction and she could see he was thinking of something unpleasant in the past. He had sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and his forehead was furrowed.

'Want to talk about it?' Sebastian asked after staring at the lake for a few minutes.

Keira shook her head, she was not ready to share her story with anyone else, especially a stranger.

'I wouldn't either.'

That made Keira smile, at least he was honest. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and made an attempt to straighten her shirt. It had been a good decision to wear long sleeves today, normally she wouldn't bother because she always was her alone.

'Where are you from? I can't really place your accent,' Sebastian was now looking at  Keira again. He liked how her voice sounded, but because it wasn't German he was rubbish at detecting the origin.

'Northern Ireland, not a lot of people get that right though,' Keira said. People always guessed she was from Scotland or Ireland, people always seemed to forget her country. It wasn't that large she admitted, but it was part of the UK nonetheless.

'So do you live her now?' Sebastian sounded curious.

'No, I'm on holidays with my parents, they have a house here. Although I really enjoy it here, it's a lot quieter than London. '

Sebastian had raised an eyebrow in confusion. 'London isn't in Northern Ireland, is it?' he shifted his weight a little to get face to face with Keira.

'No, I moved there a couple of years ago to study. I really love it there, it's one of my favourite cities,' she grinned.

'I agree, although I haven't been there a lot. What are you studying?'

Keira followed a bird with her eyes, it was stretching its wings and floated through the sky. 'I recently graduated actually, so I'm now trying to find a job. I studied Mechanical Engineering and I am now looking to work in aviation,' she reminded herself once again to find a job.

'Sounds hard,' he said with admiration in his voice.

'And you?' Keira thought he could be a ski instructor or something like a personal trainer, because of his physique. She could see he was somehow conflicted by her question, his forehead frowned again and his leg jiggled nervously.

'I'm definitely not as smart as you, but I'm working in motorsports,' he said eventually.

Keira was surprised by that, he didn't look like someone who had his hands stuck in a car engine or something. Also Tom was certainly not as toned down as Sebastian, so he must just like to work out then.

'One of my best friends just started in motorsports, he has a job at Silverstone. Do you know that place?' Keira tried to keep the conversation going, at least they had a topic of joined interest.

'Yes, I've been there a couple of times. I love the nostalgia of the place.'

She wasn't certain of it, but it looked like Sebastian was dodging her eyes. His body seemed tense and he appeared to be in doubt about something. Even with this tense look, she still felt like being held hostage by his eyes.

He felt her staring at him and he realised he must have zoned out. He didn't know why he didn't tell her about his real job, but he didn't want this peaceful moment to end. What if she somehow knew who he was, he thought. He wanted people to know him for who he actually was, not for someone people thought he was. Normally he couldn't get away with that, but she had not given him the idea that she knew who he was. It was not often that that happened, so it was a nice change to just be himself. Still there was a little voice in his head who said that he was not being himself if he didn't tell the truth. He sighed, life was always so complicated.

He Instantly felt bad about thinking that, because the girl sitting next to him clearly had bigger problems than the world's expectations of her. Her skin looked pale, her eyes were swollen and the clothes she wore were slightly too large, as if she recently lost a lot of weight. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and the moonlight on her face made her look even paler. She still looked pretty though, he thought. It was sad to see someone being a shadow of his former self and he wondered what had happened to make her like this.

On the banks of the lake stood large rocks like the ones they were sitting on, but Sebastian had also found several small pebbles. His father had taught him to skip stones on the water, but he never really got the hang of it. He picked up a pebble and flicked it across the surface of the lake, it sank. Damn it. Everything he tried he wanted to do well at and when he was with someone else he always wanted to be the best. He picked up another stone, this time it bounced once and then sank. Suddenly a stone skipped perfectly across the water and Sebastian turned his head to see where it had came from. Keira was standing next to him, smiling shyly and she shrug her shoulders at him.  

'How did you do that?' he was in awe.

'I've been here many times before, let's say I had enough time to practice,' Keira chuckled.

'Not bad, not bad at all,' he said while running his fingers through his hair. 'Let me try again,' he flicked the stone, but it sank when it touched the water.

'Here, let me help you,' Keira walked over to Sebastian and showed how to hold his hand while throwing the stone.

They both threw their stones into the lake and this time his stone bounced twice, however Keira's stone still went further.

'OK, another try. Do you have any more tips?' it had to at least bounce three times he thought.

'Yes, just look at my hand and copy what I'm doing,' she said.

Sebastian stood a little closer to her so he could see her hands while she demonstrated a throw. He tried to copy it, but it was still wrong. She tried to correct him and their hands suddenly touched. Keira jumped back as if something had burnt her and dropped the stone she was holding.

'What's wrong?' he asked her. He was startled, had he done something wrong?

'Nothing,' she sounded out of breath.

'I'm sorry,' he apologised although he didn't know what for. Her sudden reaction had caught him by surprise and he saw that she was close to tears. 'Don't worry, just show me to throw the stone. I'll just stand here, so you can stay there.'

It stayed silent for a few moments, only the hooting of owls were echoing across the lake. The stars were shining bright and Keira could still feel the touch of Sebastian's hand. It had been unintentional she knew that much, but the feeling of his skin on hers had made her shiver. She knew she shouldn't have reacted like she did, because he had been looking shocked and confused.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Ok, let's go', she said. She saw him breathing a sigh of relief and felt bad for making him worry.

After practising a few more times Sebastian finally got the hang of it. He stuck his tongue out in concentration when he threw the stones and she thought it was rather cute. He punched the air when he finally had mastered the technique. When he turned back to her he was beaming and his eyes were glinting in delight. She felt her stomach lurch when she caught his smile, it was the same smile that had her rooted to the spot during their last encounter. There was something about the way he smiled, it was a smile that lit up a room and captured everyone's attention. There was a slight curve to his lips and his perfect teeth were just visible underneath it. It was a smile that made you forget about anything else and it filled your heart with joy. It just looked so effortless the way his lips stretched into a smile and reached his blue eyes.

'It's late already, I forgot the time. Shall we go home?' he asked.

Keira suddenly was brought back to reality and she checked her watch. It was indeed very late, she had told her parents that she would be back an hour ago. 'Yes, I should have been home already,' she answered.

'May I walk with you?' he asked with an uncertain smile.

Keira nodded and picked up her belongings. She looked back over her shoulder to get a last glimpse of the lake and then followed Sebastian back to the habited world.


	13. Conversations

It was dark outside, but small signs of daylight were slowly becoming visible. Birds were already chirping and it was clear that it was going to be another beautiful day. Keira woke up with a smile on her face, she had been dreaming about meeting a stranger at the lake. The stranger who was called Sebastian she now knew and who was determined to succeed in whatever he was doing it seemed. She rolled over to see the time, it was already eight o'clock. A loud yawn escaped from her mouth and she sat up. She wanted to stay in bed, to continue her dream, but she knew her parents wouldn't agree to that. They were such active people, going out to do things almost the whole day and they expected her not to be lazy. She yawned again and made her way to the bathroom to take a shower.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, eating her breakfast and checking the news on her phone. Nothing really was happening and she texted Abby and Tom about how things were going. They were both really busy and this was the only way to really stay in contact. Nonetheless she missed being around someone she could trust and who could cheer her up. She quickly checked her Facebook, Twitter and Instagram out of habit, but also there nothing much was happening. Suddenly a new message appeared on her screen.

**David - Hey beautiful, how are you? Did you sleep well? I just want to tell you you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen and I'm glad you're coming home soon. Have fun and I love you! X**

Her heart started to beat faster when she read David's message, he could be such a sweetheart. He used to tell her she was beautiful every day, but now she had to savour the moments he told her. It felt good to hear from someone she was beautiful and she immediately felt better. Her heart was racing and she quickly sent a sweet reply. She unintentionally stroke the bruises on her wrist and she thought about all the good times they had had together. He had made her feel like she was on top of the world so many times and she remembered the days the she couldn't stop smiling when she was thinking about him.  A small smile formed on her lips, today was going to be a good day.

After cleaning the kitchen she put on some shoes and searched the house for her sunglasses. The sun was shining brightly by now and she put the sunglasses in her hair when she had finally found them. Not many people were out on the streets yet and she admitted that it indeed was still a bit early. Her feet quickly brought her to her favourite place, without her even noticing. She was too absorbed by taking in her surroundings and appreciating the green hills, she only noticed where she was when the lake came into sight. She froze when she closed in on the water, because there was already someone sitting on her rock. The person then turned around and she let out a sigh of relief, it was Sebastian.

'Back here again?' he asked with a soft expression on his face.

She locked eyes with him and her breathing became a bit more unstable. 'I come here almost every day, I think it has become a habit or something,' she smiled.

He looked back at the water. 'I forgot how much I liked this place, so I came back again.'

'I can see that,' she said. She sat down next to him when he gestured to the stone she had sat on yesterday. She felt quite nervous, but it was also comforting in a way. His eyes had a quality of making people feel at ease and she could feel herself relax a bit.

'Do you want a croissant?' he asked. He held out the bag he was holding in his hands.

She just had breakfast, but there was always room for a croissant. 'Sure', she answered. It was nice of him to share she thought. She took a large bite of the croissant he had handed her and she turned back to Sebastian. 'Thanks,' she said.

He smiled and took a bite of his own croissant. 'So, tell me something about yourself, because it's a bit weird sharing food with someone you don't really know.'

She thought about that for a moment, not really sure what she wanted to share with him. He knew her name already, so that was not going to cut it. 'I have a sister,' she decided on in the end.

'Only one?' he sounded curious and his bright eyes had captured Keira's attention again.

'Yes, I think that after she was born my parents realised how annoying we both were,' she sniggered. 'How about you?' she was as interested in him as he was in her.

He let out a sigh. 'We're with four, I'm the third one. I have two older sisters and one little brother, but he is quite a bit younger than the rest of us. The annoying little shit,' he muttered the final sentence under his breath and he rolled his eyes.

'How old is he then?' she grinned, she had spotted his annoyance.

'Fourteen, hitting puberty and annoying the hell out of my parents,' exasperation was clearly noticeable in his voice and he threw his hands in the air.

She laughed, she had gone through the same with her sister. Although she had gone through puberty almost at the same time with her, so she hadn't really experienced it as annoying as Sebastian clearly did. Her sister had been a rebel though, dying her hair all different kind of colours and doing everything their parents had forbidden her. She herself had always been more reserved, too afraid to upset her parents. However, Louise had often included her in her wicked ways and it had been a lot of fun.

'Do you parents also live close? Or do you still live at home?' she thought he probably was too old to live at home, but with boys you never knew.

'Oh no, my parents live back home in Germany,' he said and a sadness was suddenly visible on his face.

Keira raised an eyebrow. 'You are not from here?' For her he seemed like the typical Swiss guy. Blonde hair, blue eyes and he spoke German, what else should she have expected then?

'No, I grew up in Germany and just moved here a couple of years ago,' he answered her question and he followed a bird with his eyes.

She could see his face turning into a smile when he thought about his family. 'Do you miss them?' she asked. When she had moved to London she had missed her family terribly, especially her sister. Not being able to pop in for a visit whenever she liked had been really hard to get to grips with.

He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt he was wearing and revealed his strong arms. 'Yeah, I do, but life here is good.'

Keira had her eyes focused on his arms, they looked good. Sebastian in a whole looked good, she thought, not just his arms. The way he ran his fingers through his blonde hair when he was talking was something else that had captured her attention. She tried to focus on the conversation again and not letting herself get distracted by his behaviour.

'So why did you move here? What's the difference with Germany?' she asked. She herself had moved to another country and she knew the feeling of missing home.

He chewed on his lip and turned his head back to the lake. 'I moved here for work, but I always really liked Switzerland. People don't bother you as much as back home and I like the peace and quiet,' he said with a voice that revealed that something about that was nagging him.

She could understand that, she herself had came to appreciate how easy life was here. You could go anywhere unnoticed if you wanted to and people were all very friendly and not pushy to start conversations. It certainly had its perks living here.

The wind picked up a little and the branches of the trees were squeaking because of it. Small waves rippled the surface of the water and the sounds of the water lapping against the banks made for a peaceful summer's day. The two people sitting on rocks at the side of the lake were engaged in an animated conversation, judging by the laughs and smiles on their faces. When one was looking at the lake, the other one shot a sneaky peek at his neighbour. They sat there talking for a while, until Sebastian told Keira he had to go home. When he had gone, she was left on her own. The corners of her mouth had turned into a smile again and her pale skin looked a little less pale than when she had left home.

\----------

It had been a couple of days since Keira had spent her day with Sebastian at the lake. She had gone back to her favourite place several times, but Sebastian had never been there. Of course she didn't expect him to be there every time, but a feeling in her stomach told her she was somehow disappointed that he hadn't been there. Maybe he hadn't felt the need to clear his head or maybe he had gone at a different time during the day. She quickly put the last items on her shopping list and folded the piece of paper to put it into her pocket. She had to stop thinking about Sebastian, she told herself. It had been nice having a conversation with someone she could actually see, instead of talking on the phone with her friends, but that didn't mean she had to confuse Sebastian with her friends. She put the money her mother left on the table for the shopping into her wallet and grabbed her bag that was hanging on the back of her chair.

The supermarket was busier than normal and she had difficulties with manoeuvring the shopping cart without slamming into people. She didn't mind doing the shopping, she even asked her parents to let her do it, so she could improve her German. It was the only time she could practise speaking German and she now knew most of the stuff her parents had written on the shopping list. She had even thought about taking German lessons when she got back home, because it would be a shame to not take up the chance to be able to speak another language.

She glanced down at her list and made her way over to the cheese section. Without caring she threw something like eight different cheeses into the cart and already thought about an excuse to tell her parents. They thought she had a cheese obsession and when she looked at the cheeses in her cart she kind of had to agree with them. She sniggered, she didn't care. Next on her list was the chocolate powder and if she had a cheese obsession, her mother had a hot chocolate obsession. While trying to find the right aisle, she had already crashed her cart into a small boy, an old lady and an employee from the shop. She cursed at herself and had apologised profusely to her victims. When she finally found the right aisle she remembered the chocolate powder was on the highest shelve and out of her reach. She sighed and cursed again. This time trying a few German curses, because since a few days she was now able to curse in German.

Across the aisle someone cursing loudly grabbed Sebastian's attention. He turned around and a corner of his mouth lifted. He recognised the girl and was quickly brought back to the time they had first met. He remembered it well, because they had been stood in the exact same aisle at the exact same place. He had noticed a girl having difficulties grabbing the right product and she had looked like she needed some help. She had looked rather shy when he had handed her the chocolate powder and when he had gotten close up to her had spotted that she was looking tired and even a bit neglected. The hair that framed her still pretty face had been looking ruffled, like she didn't care how it looked. He had felt a bit sorry for her and he had felt the same when they had met on the streets a couple of days later. She hadn't looked much better then and she didn't really seem to like human interactions. However, he had now found out that you just had to take time to make her feel comfortable enough to speak. The last time they had met at the lake she had looked somewhat better, her hair had been combed and she had been smiling a lot more. It had suited her, it accentuated her facial features and it also had made her look less fragile.

He strolled in Keira's direction and grabbed the chocolate powder for her once again. 'I didn't know you speak German?' he said in German. They had always spoken English, because he had assumed she didn't speak German. So he was kind of surprised to hear her use German, but it was also kind of endearing.

Her eyes widened when she spotted him and she took the chocolate powder from him to put it into her cart. 'Just a bit,' she answered in German, before turning back to English. 'Thanks for helping me again, I must really look incompetent to you.'

He smiled, she looked anything but incompetent to him. 'So do you always start with cursing first when you learn another language?' he asked, while spotting her cheeks turning a slight pink.

'Cursing in German just sounds so...,' she stopped to think for a second, 'angry,' she concluded.

He felt his mouth curve into a smile and he smirked at her remark. She was not wrong, German definitely wasn't a romantic language like French was and people always thought you were angry all the time, when you just were having a normal conversation.

'I can teach you a few more curses sometime, if you like?' he asked while observing her face. She had just put a lock of her hair back in its place and her sleeve had slipped down exposing a bit of her skin. He could spot a large bruise on her wrist which was now at the stage of showing different colours. She spotted him looking at her arm and her stare hardened immediately. She hastily tried to cover up the bruise and smiled nervously in his direction. He could see that she obviously felt ashamed that he had seen it.

'What happened to your wrist?' he asked with a soft voice, not wanting to upset her. He felt something bad had happened to her, but he didn't want to ask such a direct question.

'Oh, it's nothing, our dog did this. She's still a puppy, so she doesn't really know her strengths yet or even what's wrong and right,' there was still nervousness in her voice.

He wasn't convinced by her explanation, but it was clear that she didn't want to elaborate on the subject. Maybe he should just drop it, but he would keep a close eye on her the next time he saw her. They made their way over to the register to pay for their groceries. When standing in line Keira still looked uncomfortable, every few seconds she threw a nervous glance in his direction and then tugged on her sleeve. He felt bad for even bringing up what he had seen, as it so clearly had upset her. He helped her put her groceries into bags and they left the shop in silence. She had to go right and he had to go left to get home, so they said goodbye to each other. He followed Keira with his eyes and saw her walk away as quickly as she could.

When he got home and was unpacking his groceries he noticed and object he didn't recognise. When he picked it up he identified it as Keira's wallet, one of them must have put it into the wrong bag by accident. Not knowing what to do with it he opened it to look for an address. It was an address in London, of course, she didn't live here. He didn't know what to do, because sending it back to London wouldn't help very much. His eye then fell on a number written next to her address, it was her phone number. His eyes lingered on the numbers for a few seconds and he then decided he would give it a try and send her a text.

\----------

The phone that was laying on the kitchen table buzzed and the sound of a new message quickly followed. Keira stopped with was she was doing, unpacking the bags, and picked up her phone. She frowned when she saw it was an unknown number. The people who normally texted her were all in her list of contacts, so she was puzzled about who it was.

**Unknown - I found your wallet in one of my bags, it must have slipped in there accidentally. I would like to give it back to you, as I could only find your address in London in there. Sebastian**

She took a deep breath, it was from Sebastian. She hadn't even noticed her wallet was missing and was annoyed with herself for not keeping track of her belongings. It would have been a nightmare if her wallet had got lost, so she was thankful that Sebastian had found it. Somehow she also felt a strange sensation when she read the message again, like her heart had skipped a beat. She felt fairly stupid for that, because he was just trying to be helpful. Her thumb hovered above the screen, trying to come up with a reply. She felt quite anxious, because he was still pretty much just a stranger.

**Keira - Thank you! That must not have been my brightest moment. Is there somewhere I can collect it?**

Before she could work herself up about how stupid her reply had been, he had already sent a text back.

**Sebastian - No worries, it didn't get lost at least. We can meet up at La Stanza tomorrow if you like?**

She gasped when she read his message, he wanted to meet up. La Stanza was the most popular cafe in town and it was the only place to get good coffee around here. It was also a very public place, so she would feel more at ease there than somewhere else. She felt the nerves creep up again and she tugged on a string of her hair.

**Keira - That works for me. What time should I be there?**

**Sebastian - Works 11 for you?**

**Keira - 11 is fine. See you tomorrow then.**

**Sebastian - See you there!**

She threw her phone back on the table and sunk down in a chair. She felt her stomach lurch a little and her hands were shaking lightly. At least she would see him again tomorrow, she thought. With that in mind she continued unpacking the bags.


	14. Coffee

'So, when will you be back exactly?' David asked from the other side of the phone.

'Tomorrow, I thought I already told you,' Keira replied. She had been on the phone with David for half an hour and they had talked about all kinds of things before the conversation had shifted again to her going back to England.

'No, you didn't, but that's fine. I'll make sure to stock up the fridge and clean the house, I want to show you I can take care of running a household,' David laughed.

'I'll make sure to bring my checklist then, to make sure you tick all the boxes.'

'I can't wait. Do I have to pick you up from the airport?' he asked.

'No, I know you have classes tomorrow, so the underground will do.'

'OK babe, safe travels then and I'll see you tomorrow!' he sounded cheerful.

'Good luck tomorrow and I'll see you back at the house. Bye!' she then hung up the phone. She checked her watch and cursed when she saw the time, she hadn't expected the phone call with David to take this long and she now had to hurry. She quickly finished the apple she was eating and said goodbye to her parents.

It was almost eleven and Keira didn't want to be late, she hated people who where late. She felt hot in the clothes she was wearing, because she had put on more layers then she normally would have done. She couldn't afford any more slipups like yesterday, so when she had gotten dressed this morning she had made sure everything was covered and would stay covered. She longed back to the days she had just been worried about looking good when leaving the house, always making sure her outfits were on point and her hair was styled. Now she didn't care anymore, besides hiding her ugly past, she never put in any effort anymore. She turned the corner and she could see the little cafe a little bit further up the road. With another glance on her watch she picked up her pace and arrived at the cafe a few moments later.

She swiftly scanned the space for a glimpse of Sebastian, but he clearly wasn't there yet. She let out a sigh of relief, at least she wasn't late. It was always busy around this time of day, so there weren't many empty tables left. She sat down at an empty table close to the window and saw Sebastian walking in when she sat down. He spotted her almost immediately and she could see his eyes lit up at that same moment.

Sebastian sat down in the empty chair and he was slightly out of breath. 'Sorry, I didn't want to be late. I hate being late!' he exclaimed.

Keira chuckled, it was only three minutes past eleven and a lot of people would consider that on time. 'Germans and their punctuality,' she said while she shot him an amused smile.

At that moment a waitress came over to take their orders. They both knew what they wanted without checking the menu, which revealed that the pair of them were regular customers.

'So, do you come here often?' Sebastian asked in a way to start the conversation.

'Quite a bit. The only place to get good coffee!' she told him as it was something as important as climate change.

'That's true, that's why I always come here. Tried others, but this one is the best,' he nodded in agreement.

'I work in a cafe back home, so I can't go long without a proper cup of coffee,' she grinned. The job had definitely gained her a coffee addiction and that was something Tom and Abby had teased her with.

Sebastian was playing with the sugar bowl which was standing on the table and he gave Keira a half smile when he noticed her staring at him. He put the sugar bowl back down, but he ended up spilling the content on the table. He instantly turned red and ran his fingers through his hair.

'Not your day?' Keira grinned. He looked adorable with his flushed cheeks and his lips were slightly parted when he tried to clean up his mess.

He sighed. 'Something like that, I think.' He swept the spare sugar he hadn't been able to put back into the bowl off the table and onto the ground. He put his finger to his lips and signed with a grin on his face to stay silent.

'You naughty boy,' she gave him a disapproving look, but couldn't manage to keep a smile off her face. She saw him turn even redder and this nervous schoolboy look was rather cute on him, she thought.

'I like to live life on the edge,' his mouth twisted in a mischievous smile and he winked.

Now it was her turn to blush, she hadn't seen this side of him before. He looked even more attractive if that was even possible at all. She bit her lip and tried not to meet his eyes again. Instead she tried to continue their conversation. 'What do your friends think of that?' she asked.

He shrugged and his eyes twinkled. 'They do the same, of course! No, we don't like to be boring,' he laughed.

'And what does classify as not being boring?' she lifted her eyebrows, now she was curious.

He tried not to laugh, but was clearly amused when he had remembered something. 'Well, one of my friends was once found outside a night club on top of an inflatable dolphin, so...'

Now it was her turn to laugh and she almost spat out the coffee the waitress had just brought. 'What?!' she sputtered.

'Well, it definitely wasn't one of his finest hours, but it makes for quite a story,' he chuckled and he shrugged his shoulders again.

'How on earth did that happen?' she wanted to know more. She sat up in her chair and wrapped her hands around the warm coffee that was in front of her.

'Sadly no one knows, even he doesn't know. He says he was too drunk to remember, judging from the position he was found in I can't argue with that,' he was trying to hold back a smile, but each time he spoke a word his mouth twitched and he had a hard time finishing his sentence.

'You have weird friends,' she sniggered. She glanced at Sebastian who was drinking his coffee and she could see his lashes flutter when he looked down at his mug. Even his eyelashes were perfect, she thought.

'And you don't have any?' he shot back at her with his eyebrows raised.

She saw a flicker in his eyes when he said that and she knew he was right. Abby, Tom and herself weren't really angels, she had to admit. 'Well, we haven't had any encounters with inflatable dolphins, so...'

'Not yet,' he grinned, showing her his perfect teeth. He put one hand under his chin and leaned on the table. 'I can arrange that if you would like?' he chortled.

'I think we're fine without it, thanks for the offer though,' she tried to keep her face straight. She drank the last of her coffee and tucked her hair behind her ear, she felt quite relaxed.

'So tell me about your friends then?' his eyes were glowing with anticipation. He drummed his fingers on the table and shot her an awaiting glance.

'Well,' she began, 'one of my friends ended up naked in the backyard of one of our professors once.' That was completely true, Abby had done many dramatic things, but this was one of her highlights. Tom and herself often teased her with it, naturally she didn't like that very much.

'How is that any better?' his eyes carried a mixture of shock and amusement and he shook his head.

Keira bit her lip and smirked. 'Maybe it isn't,' she said.

'Explain please,' he leaned against the back of his chair and folded his arms, flexing his muscles as a result.

'It was at a college party, to celebrate the end of the first year. One of the professors had offered his backyard to host the party, so all the first years ended up at his garden. There was enough booze to kill at least a thousand people and a lot of them were trying to do exactly that, I think,' she paused, thinking about how to explain the second part while still protecting Abby's modesty. 'She was one of the heavy drinkers and she ended up in a game with a few others. The game was that you had to take off a piece of clothing when you were last to finish a drink. Needless to say that she wasn't very good at that game. When I saw how far it had gotten I tried to stop her, but she was happy to take off _all_ her clothes,' she sighed when she remembered how stubborn Abby could be sometimes.

'Am I right to assume she regretted that decision later on?' he tilted his head when he caught Keira's eyes.

'Pretty much,' she answered with a smirk, 'but we think that's not a good enough reason to stop teasing her.'

'Yeah, I would do exactly the same,' he grinned and his eyes twinkled.

'I bet you would,' she bit back after watching his expression for a moment. God, his face was beautiful no matter what he did, although she still hadn't figured out why it was that his face looked so familiar. It was like she had seen him before, but it was unlikely however that she would have remembered him from another holiday. She pushed the thought aside and focused on the conversation again. 

'Any embarrassing stories involving you?' he asked tauntingly before giving her a wink.

Her mouth fell open, he had not just asked her that. She felt blood rushing to her cheeks and she shifted in her chair. 'I can ask you the same thing!' she replied.

'Puking in front of your boss, is that bad enough?' he answered sounding amused.

She chuckled when she imagined him doing that. Spewing chunks on a neat pair of shoes belonging to an important man who was dressed very smartly. 'OK, that sounds bad,' she said with sympathy in her voice.

He pulled a face. 'I was so embarrassed, but I think he didn't mind that much.'

'Work party?' she asked curiously.

'Something like that, yeah. Still not a good excuse to throw up though,' he said with a sigh. He gazed out the window and then turned his head back to Keira. 'Alright, spill it', he grinned.

Knowing he wasn't going to let this go, she thought of something embarrassing she had done. Not all of it was suitable to discuss over coffee and she was quite shocked by how many things she could think of. She didn't think it was that bad, but obviously Tom and Abby had tried their best.

'Is it that bad?' he smirked.

She looked up and shot him a warning stare. 'I once fell out of a taxi, into a large puddle of mud. Everyone thought it was very funny, I however did not,' she admitted. It had been a humiliating experience and she studied his face when his lips turned into a curve again.

'Right to assume you were intoxicated?' he wiggled an eyebrow and gave her a knowing look.

She grumbled and nodded in his direction, he was right. She had been completely wasted and that wasn't something that happened very often. She had the intention to keep it that way, because these stories didn't exactly make her look good.

He leaned over the table to get closer to her. 'Don't worry, it'll be our secret', he whispered while trying not to laugh.

She felt a shiver creeping up her spine, his face so close to hers made her heart race. This close up his eyes were even more captivating, like they were hiding the galaxy. She also had caught a wave of his scent and it had made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. His smell was a combination of mint and funnily enough petrol, it was a combination she had never smelled before. It wasn't unpleasant though, and she was even slightly disappointed when he sat up again and his scent disappeared. Then there were his lips, they looked really soft when he had them slightly parted like this and that made her unable to look away from them.

Sebastian had spotted her staring at him and an amusing grin played on his lips. 'You OK there?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' she said quickly. Feeling mortified that she had been caught, but she couldn't help herself staring.

'Having any plans for this week?' he asked, shifting the conversation to another subject. He was watching her tearing up the napkin that had been laying on the table.

She quickly stopped murdering the napkin and put one of her legs over the other. 'Going back home tomorrow, so that should be fun.'

'Oh really? Having enough of this country?' his face twisted slightly at hearing the news. He picked up the sugar bowl again and was close to spilling it for the second time.

'I don't think I ever will,' she admitted, 'but my parents are going home and I don't like being alone here. Besides, I have to start looking for a job, so it's good to go back home. Also my boyfriend has been asking me when I will be home like twenty times already,' she concluded.

'You have a boyfriend?' his voice sounded slightly different and this time he did spill the sugar again.

'Yes, we live together actually,' she said trying to plaster a smile on her face. She saw that he wasn't really successful in cleaning up the sugar again and she playfully flicked the sugar in his direction.

'Hey, you are making a mess!' he exclaimed while sulking about his sticky fingers. There was almost as much sugar on his fingers as on the table.

She glanced at him. 'I don't think I'm the one who is making a mess,' she smirked.

'Not funny,' he pressed his lips together, but a slight smile was visible and it didn't take long for him to grin and show his perfect teeth. 'I give up,' he sighed, trying to lick his fingers clean.

Keira couldn't keep her eyes off him licking his fingers, she felt a lurch in her stomach and she her eyes widened. Him sucking on his fingers was not an image she would be able to forget quickly and she tried not to let out a whimper. Sebastian on the other hand had no idea what he was doing to her and smiled happily while showing her his clean fingers.

'So I won't see you around anymore then?' he said while drying his fingers on one of the napkins. He sounded slightly disappointed and he leaned back on the table.

'No, I don't think so. Maybe in the winter?' she answered. She definitely wanted to come back.

'You come here also during the winter?' he asked cheerfully.

'Yes, winter is even better than this. I mean, going down the slopes and feeling the adrenaline is amazing. Also everything looks better covered in a metre of snow,' she sniggered.

'You ski?' he sounded surprised. He had tried to  balance his chair on two legs, but he almost toppled over after hearing that.

'I used to, but the last few years I've been snowboarding. I like that more,' she remarked. 'And you?'

'I love myself some snowboarding,' he grinned while imitating the movements of standing on a board.

Keira laughed and shook her head. 'You're silly!'

He sighed and gave her an apologising smile. 'I guess I am,' he said trying to sound sad. Chuckling at himself he checked his watch and raised his eyebrows. 'We've been here longer than I thought, I have to get back home though,' he said with a sigh.

It had been fun sitting here with Sebastian, so she was a bit disappointed that he had to go. She hadn't noticed how relaxed she had felt, not once had she worried about anything. It had felt the same like spending time with Abby or Tom and she was bewildered that she could feel that way while being with a stranger. He wasn't exactly a stranger anymore, but he neither was someone she knew, so she would go with stranger anyway.

'Oh, before I forget,' he bent down to grab something from his bag, 'here's your wallet! That's why we're here in the first place,' he said.

She had almost forgotten about that. 'Thanks!' she replied while taking the wallet from him. 'Now I can pay', she smirked.

'No, I'll pay, hang on,' he put his hand in his bag again. After a few seconds he sat back up looking rather embarrassed. 'I think I forgot my wallet,' he said in a tiny voice.

She laughed, he was really something. 'Don't worry, I have you covered,' she chuckled and put the right amount of money on the table before standing up.

'I owe you one,' he said while hanging his bag on his shoulder, 'next time I'll pay, OK?'

'Deal,' she answered and shot him a lopsided grin. She really hoped there would be a next time, although she knew she was going back home and that it would be very unlikely.

'It was nice to meet you Keira,' he said while holding the door open so they could both get outside. He definitely was a gentleman.

She felt a bit nervous suddenly being alone with him. 'It was nice meeting you too, Sebastian,' she replied hesitantly.

'Call me Seb, everyone does,' he grinned and he put his hands into his pockets. His eyes were still focused on Keira and he gave her a playful wink.

'OK, I'll do that,' she chuckled. Seb sounded good, she could get used to that. She didn't think Sebby would go down very well, so she would stick with Seb. 'Maybe until next time then, Seb,' she smiled while locking eyes with him.

'Yes, until next time,' he said while running his fingers through his hair.

With a slight awkward wave they both went their own ways, while peeking over their shoulders to get a last look of the other. Once they locked eyes and they both grinned, they waved again and continued their journeys home.


	15. Home

The smell of London was very different from the smell Keira had became accustomed to during her stay in Switzerland. The fresh mountain air had been replaced by exhaust gasses and the bustle of the big city was frightening her. The noises filled her head and she swiftly closed her eyes to gather strength to carry on. Her suitcase was heavy and she was glad that she was almost home. After walking the last ten minutes she finally spotted her own front door and let out a sigh, home at last.

She pushed open the door and wondered if David was home. 'Hello?' she yelled.

Footsteps came from the kitchen and David appeared in the hallway. 'You're back!'

She dropped her stuff and he pulled her into a hug, while wrapping his arms around her waist. It was a good feeling, she had missed being hugged like this. She stepped back and gave him a glance-over. He looked happy, his eyes were a soft brown colour and his face was lit up in delight.

'I was making dinner,' he picked up her bags and carried them up the stairs. 'You can help if you want?' he yelled from the bedroom.

'What are you making?' she wasn't yet convinced by his cooking skills and hoped she could prevent food poisoning. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

'Ehm, it includes sausages, Parma ham, Gruyere and of course your beloved puffed pastry. I only can't remember in which order to use it all,' he apologised while walking back into the kitchen.

'I assume everything else has to go into the puffed pastry, so that's a start. Let me figure it out,' she flicked her eyes over the different ingredients and yelped when she felt two arms snake around her waist.

'I've missed you,' David said while putting his nose in her hair, 'you smell good.' He started to give small kisses on her neck and pulled her tighter to his body.  

She tried hard not to moan. 'I've missed you too,' she said breathlessly. 'Now let me cook, otherwise we will starve.'

He reluctantly let her go and followed the instructions she gave him. When the oven finally had reached the right temperature they put in their creations and started the waiting game.

'I'm hungry,' he pouted while sitting down at the kitchen table.

She laughed and shook her head. 'Is there a time you're not hungry?'

'Maybe when I sleep,' he grinned. He took a sip of his tea and bit his lip. 'You look good.'

She had been playing with her hair and looked sideways at David when he had said that. 'You do too,' she shot him a half grin while she adjusted herself in her chair.

'I see that Switzerland has done you good, you look very brown,' he eyed her cautiously and let his eyes fall on her hair, 'and your hair looks redder.'

'Does it? Must have been the sun then, the weather was perfect,' she frowned and examined a strand of her hair.

'Lucky you, here we had the normal English summer of course. Best time ever,' he said sarcastically, while peeking into the oven as the room was starting to fill with a delicious smell.

'Ahw, poor you!' she gave him a kiss on his cheek and went to check their dinner. 'OK, they're done, time for food!'

David pumped his fist into the air like he had just won an important game and went to look for plates and cutlery. He was dancing through the kitchen and made Keira stare at him with a smirk on her face. He smiled when he saw her looking and grabbed her hand to join him.

'No, I don't want to-,' she began, but it was no good. She was already swung through the kitchen and almost fell over one of the chairs. Trying to stay upwards she copied his moves and in no time they had a full dance off in the kitchen. Tears of laughter were running over their cheeks and they only sat down again after Keira became too dizzy to continue.

'OK, let's eat,' she said whilst out of breath. Her cheeks were red and hot, her head was pounding and she really needed food.

The food was heavenly, she wasn't sure it was because of the food itself, or because she had almost starved to death.

'Best thing I've ever eaten,' said David after finishing his plate and moving it further up the table.

She shook her head while trying not to laugh at him looking like a toddler. She leaned over the table to give him a kiss on his nose.

He replied by putting an arm around her neck. 'Hey, gorgeous,' he said while looking into her eyes. She could feel her heart starting to beat faster and her eyes were focused on his lips. She could see a tiny smile lingering on his lips and they suddenly looked very kissable. She held her breath and looked back into her favourite brown eyes, it felt like everything had gone back to normal and like the last six months had never happened. They stayed like this for a few seconds until he moved his head even closer to her and gingerly put his lips on hers.

She felt a tingle when their lips met and she was reminded of how soft they were. She leaned into the kiss and gently kissed him back. She felt him tightening the grip on her body and after a few moments she felt his tongue opening her lips and exploring her mouth. She let out a tiny moan and put her fingers in his brown hair, to pull him closer to her. It had been a long time ago that she had been kissed like this, her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her stomach lurch. Without ending the kiss she sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his body. He slowly sucked on her bottom lip and she could see his eyes flash with eagerness. She almost forgot to breath and let her fingers wander to the hem of his shirt. His skin felt soft when she put her hand under his shirt and she could feel his strong muscles beneath her touch. When he pulled away she gasped, but he was already kissing her neck and making her whimper from pleasure. He pushed her hair aside and moved his kisses to her chest while she tried to pull his shirt off. This felt so good, she thought, she wanted more as it made her forget about all the bad times.

'Shhh, not so fast,' he whispered in her ear when he noticed her tugging on his shirt. He then started to unbutton her blouse all while still putting little kisses on her skin. He slowly pushed the fabric off her shoulders to reveal the naked skin and her lacy bra. 'You look hot,' he whispered while giving in to her attempts to pull off his shirt.

When his bare chest was finally visible she couldn't keep her hands of him and pressed her body against his. With one hand still tugging on his hair, the other slid down his back and found his butt.

'Let's take this to the bedroom, shall we?' he winked while stroking the inside of her thighs.

As an answer she stood up and slowly finished unbuttoning her shirt while she batted her lashes. David swallowed and couldn't stop staring at her, his mouth hanging open in the process. Without saying anything he swiftly scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs.

\----------

It was one of London's better summer days and Keira had spent almost all day inside of the cafe. She was glad to be back at work though, she liked being busy and she had missed that in Switzerland. Charlotte and Michael had wanted to know everything about her trip and they were delighted with the Toblerone she had brought back for them. They day itself had been quite busy and catching up with the customers had been fun, however because it was weekend most of the regulars hadn't came in. She took off her apron and went outside to the terrace. She was done for the day, but she had agreed to meet up with Abby and Tom for coffee. They both had found time to spend the weekend in London and they were all dying to spent some time together like old times sake.

'Surprise!'

It went suddenly dark and she realised someone had put its hands on her face to cover her eyes. She groaned and tried to get them off. When she finally succeeded she saw the beaming faces of her best friends.

'I almost didn't recognise you, you look so different and... brown,' Abby concluded when she sized Keira up. She pulled out a chair and flopped down next to her.

Tom sighed and tried not to laugh. 'Don't listen to her. She's so busy over there that she forgot what we all look like, she said the same about me,' he also sat down and positioned himself so that the sun covered his whole face.

'Don't worry, at least I can still recognise you both,' she grinned. 'How is it to be back in London, already missing the city?' she asked.

Abby rolled her eyes and pulled a face. 'It's so boring where I live, unless you like to play bingo or jeux de boule,' she said while throwing her hands in the air. It was clear that she didn't enjoy her new surroundings.

Keira turned her head lazily towards Tom. 'And you? Also dying of boredom?'

He chuckled when Abby shot them a deadly glare. 'It's the best place ever, it breaths motorsport everywhere and I've seen all kinds of important people,' he said gleefully. 'I've even seen Lewis Hamilton!'

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it. 'Who's that again?' she asked him while frowning lightly.

He shot her an incredulous look as if she was from another planet. 'Are you serious?' he gasped. He closed his eyes in desperation before opening them again and shaking his head. 'Lewis Hamilton, 2008 F1 world champion. Does that ring a bell?'

Ah, now she knew who he was. She had followed the 2008 season every now and then, but never really got into it. She had just moved to London and had been busy with her new life, not finding time to follow the sport.

'Was he nice?' she asked Tom.

His face fell a bit. 'I've only said hello and goodbye to him, so I don't really know,' he pouted and clearly regretted not talking to Lewis.

Abby gave him a sympathetic smile and a pat on his leg. 'There's always next year, you can try again then,' she sniggered.

Tom was so easy with picking up girls and twisting them around his little finger, but starting a conversation with a guy his own age seemed somehow impossible.

'Yeah, you're right,' he said with sad eyes looking from one girl to the other. 'You girls have it easy, all the guys just start talking to you. You don't even need to put in an effort!' he sounded somewhat frustrated and he put his legs on the empty chair next to him.

Abby and Keira locked eyes shortly, before turning back to Tom. It was clear that they both thought the same thing, girls didn't have it easy when it came to boys. Abby had regularly asked Keira how she was doing, physically and mentally and Keira was glad that she now had someone to talk to. Before Abby had came to London they had spoken on the phone for two hours and she had explained the struggles from being back home. Abby had never wanted her to go back home and maybe she had been right.

The first days had been wonderful with David and she had thought that maybe everything was back to normal again. However, after a few days it had all been back to how it was when she had left. He was angry, yelled at her and accused her of idiotic things almost every day now. It had been hard and it seemed like she had never left to go to Switzerland at all. A few new bruises were showing on her body and she felt disgusted that she still wasn't able to fend him off. Abby had agreed to drop the subject this weekend so that they could just have fun and enjoy spending time together. She had felt so relieved and couldn't wait to be out of the house and just enjoy her time.

'So, how was Switzerland?' Tom asked and thereby bringing Keira back to the conversation.

She smiled blissfully. 'Best place on earth!' she tried to remember the mountain air and the green hills, but it all seemed so far away already.

'Yeah, right,' Tom rolled his eyes and was obviously not convinced.

Abby eyed Keira carefully and studied the expression on her face. 'I'm sure there were _certain_ things you couldn't get at home, right?' she wiggled her eyebrows and gave Keira a knowing wink.  
Keira turned red and tried not to think of Sebastian, Abby clearly knew more about how she felt than she had thought. Tom luckily didn't seem to notice anything and was unaware of what was going on.

'Not happy to be back home with David then?' he asked, not knowing about the whole situation.

Abby answered before Keira could. 'Keira and David are kind of over, aren't you?' she said while she shot Keira a warning look. She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes while looking at her.

'What, why?' sputtered Tom. He raised his eyebrows and had a confusing look on his face. 'You still live together right?' he studied Keira's face as if all the answers were written on her forehead.

She sighed, she didn't know how to answer this. She didn't want Tom to also be involved in the whole fucked up situation. 'Yes, we do,' she began hesitantly, 'but Abby's right that it's not all going well.'

Tom's face contorted and he seemed slightly upset. 'I like you and David together, you are the perfect couple!' he exclaimed. 'How do I keep hope if even you two don't last?'

Abby pulled him into a hug and patted his head like he was a five year old. 'Don't worry little Tommy, you're time will come. Besides, David isn't as nice as you think he is.'

Keira felt her breath catch in her throat. 'Abby!', she shrieked. Abby tried to look innocent, but she wasn't a fool and she gave her a warning look to not elaborate any further. Tom now was confused as he didn't know what had happened between them.

'OK fine,' Abby agreed, 'David is just not good enough for Keira, we'll have to find her someone else!' her eyes glittered when she spoke the last sentence.

'Abbs,' Keira sighed tiredly, 'I don't need a new one, I still have the old.'

Abby ruffled her hair and tried not to laugh when she caught Keira's face. 'We'll see about that, love,' she said.

Tom clapped his hands and his eyes lit up with the mention of finding a new guy. 'I'll get this sorted, don't worry!'

Keira groaned. 'Not you also, leave me alone!' she put her face in her hands and tried not to feel upset. She didn't know what to do and her friends were certainly not helping very much. Suddenly she felt Tom slap her back and she winced in pain. Maybe they were right, or not, she didn't know.

'OK, time for dinner!' Abby announced, trying to stir the conversation into another direction. She paid for the coffee and Keira went inside to say goodbye to her colleagues.

'It's not pizza again, is it?' Tom grumbled and he kicked a stone that was laying on the street. When he caught sight of the faces of the girls he let out an exasperated sigh. 'Why do I even hang out with you again?'

They all laughed and Abby took both Keira's and Tom's hand. Walking hand in hand they set out to find the pizzeria Abby had already booked.


	16. Nightlife

It felt like Keira's stomach would explode at any time, maybe she had eaten too much pizza. It had been so delicious that she couldn't stop eating, but she was now rather regretting that decision. They were sitting on the small terrace and nipping on the wine that had been flowing the whole evening.

'I feel like doing something,' Abby began smiling expectantly while she was looking at her almost empty glass.

'Oh no,' Tom and Keira said exactly at the same time. They stared at each other in surprise and then smirked because they both knew what was coming.

Abby pouted and pretended she was hurt. 'Come on guys, I'm not that bad!' she said while pouring herself another glass of wine. 'Anyone else?' she held up the bottle with a questioning look.

They both answered by putting their glasses on the table and Abby filled them up.

'What were you thinking about?' Keira tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. She eyed Abby suspiciously, she knew what she was capable of.

'Just like old times, going to a club or something,' she shrugged. 'See, that's not that bad, is it?' she gave them both a teasing poke and they yelped in surprise.

Tom rubbed his chin and took the plan into consideration. 'I guess it would be fun, I don't go out that much anymore now I'm supposed to be a responsible adult,' he said trying not to sound disappointed.

Abby turned towards Keira and she was clearly waiting for her answer. 'Alright, but I'm not going to some stripper club or something,' Keira warned, she still hadn't recovered from the last time.

Abby's eyes widened and she looked offended. 'I would never even propose that!' she began, but then it dawned on her, 'oh wait...'

'Yes, I've not forgotten that time and like I said back then, I'm never going there again. People mistook me for a stripper the whole evening,' Keira said while slapping Tom for laughing at her. This was not funny.

'Then you should've worn more clothes!' Abby giggled while trying to avoid Keira's arm that was planning on slapping her just like she had done with Tom.

'Should I bring up that one time you were completely naked in front of all our professors?' Keira replied nonchalantly while tugging on her hair. She knew Abby would back off now.

Abby indeed turned red and almost choked on her wine. 'Not funny!' she spluttered.

Tom couldn't help but grin. 'You two are crazy, come on. Let's go, it's time to get wasted somewhere,' he pulled the two girls out of their chairs and put his arms around them. With a playful slap on their butts he pushed them towards the exit.

It felt strange for Keira to be in a club again, it had been months since the last time she had been in one. It was full of people who were sweating and drinking like their lives depended on it. The music was not that bad and she even recognised some of it.

'Come on,' Tom shouted in her ear and pulled her towards the bar. 'What do you want? First round is on me,' he yelled again to make his voice audible in the noisy space.

'I don't care, whatever you get me is fine,' she yelled back while trying to stay on her feet. People were pushing towards the bar to get drinks and she almost seemed invisible to them.

'Here you go,' Tom handed them all a bright pink liquid, which looked like it instantly caused cancer when you drank it.

'What's this?' shouted Abby, pointing at the liquid and raising her eyebrows in horror.

'I don't know,' Tom laughed with an apologising smirk on his face, 'couldn't hear what they were saying, so I just went with it. So cheers!' He held his drink in the air and the others followed him.

They almost spat it out when they had downed the drink, it was horrible. Keira felt like her throat had been burnt.

'I feel eighteen again,' Abby laughed while putting the empty glass back on the bar.

'Maybe we are too old for all of this,' Keira said tentatively.

Tom took her face in his hands and chuckled. 'Nonsense, we're perfectly capable of having fun,' he then turned back to the bar to order a new round of drinks. This time they were neon green and they all groaned simultaneously when they saw the drinks, worst decision ever.

After a few drinks they couldn't stop giggling and Keira was sure they were slightly embarrassing themselves. The drinks had tasted like lemonade, but obviously they had been brimmed with alcohol. She already felt light-headed and everything seemed so much funnier. She didn't even care that she wasn't dressed up like all the other people in the club, she was just here to have fun. They hadn't bothered to go back home and change, so they now looked rather underdressed.

Tom suddenly grabbed her arm and put his mouth by her ear. 'Look at Abby, I think someone might have taken her interest,' he pointed in the direction of a group of men.

Keira followed Abby's stare and Tom indeed was right, she had her eyes planted on a guy with lazy brown curls. He hadn't noticed her staring yet and was talking animatedly with his friends. She could see that the whole group was made out of good looking guys, especially the guy with blonde hair and blue eyes. He reminded her of someone and she felt her stomach stir. Abby's eyes were still glued to the curly haired boy and she didn't even notice Tom handing her another drink. Keira smirked, she knew that look from Abby and she could already imagine how Abby's night was going to end. She had the natural ability to get any guy she liked in bed with her.

'Come on,' Tom pulled them both away from the bar and to the dance floor. 'I don't think he'll notice you if you're just standing still. Show some moves and I'm sure that he will be looking over here in no time,' he smirked when Abby looked a little embarrassed. She had almost lost her balance when he had started shouting in her ear.

They were dancing like fools, because they all had lost some of their coordination after the drinks. However, they didn't mind one bit and we're enjoying themselves. Tom was the master in sick dance moves and in no time a whole group of girls had appeared out of nowhere to dance with him. Abby and Keira couldn't stop laughing at all the blatant attempts to get his attention. He had the widest grin and kept coming back to Abby and Keira. Abby was still busy eying up the guy she had spotted at the bar and she was obviously playing a game with him. After a while of batting her eyelashes and licking her lips he made his way over to her. She giggled loudly when he started dancing with her and it didn't take long for her to feel up his body.

Tom's cheeks were red and he sounded out of breath when he found his way back to Keira. 'I see that Abby hasn't lost any of her tricks yet,' he sniggered while pushing away a few girls. He put his arm around her shoulder and they continued dancing together.

'You also have some success,' she pointed at the group of girls which were now giving her dirty looks for having the nerve to dance with him. She blew them all a kiss and ruffled Tom's hair to let them sulk even more.

'Thank you,' he whispered thankfully, 'I can't get them to bugger off.'

She shook her head and pulled him away from to group to get closer to where Abby and her guy were dancing. It had been a good decision to go out, she thought, she couldn't remember the last time she had let steam off like this.

Suddenly she could hear Tom's voice in her ear. 'I think someone has taken an interest in you,' he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

'Don't be so stupid!' she replied and gave him a little push. No one would take an interest in her, especially dressed like this.

'I'm not stupid,' he yelled, 'just look over there!' he pointed in the opposite direction.

There he was, the guy she had spotted earlier. She subtly took in his appearance, his blonde hair was a little messy and his eyes were an icy blue colour. They did not have the warmth of Seb's eyes, but they were pretty nonetheless. She felt her cheeks turning pink and she quickly turned back to Tom.

He smirked when he spotted her red cheeks. 'He's cute, isn't he?'

'Shut up,' she muttered while trying to make her hair somewhat more decent. She suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable in her casual clothes.

'I'm going to get more drinks,' he gave her a knowing wink and was gone before she could react.

She stood rooted to the spot and felt rather helpless, she was all by herself and couldn't believe Tom had left her alone.

'Hey there,' she suddenly heard behind her. She quickly turned around and almost choked when she saw those icy blue eyes.

'Want to dance?' he asked while holding out his hand. He was sizing her up and gave her a meaningful wink.

Maybe it was the alcohol, she didn't know, but without much hesitation she took his hand and shot him a lopsided grin. She could see Tom giving her his thumbs up from the bar and she rolled her eyes at him. She suddenly felt a hand on her waist and his warm breath on her skin.

'You look beautiful tonight,' the guy whispered in her ear.

A shiver crept up her spine and she could feel the goosebumps starting to form on her skin. She tilted her head to catch his eyes and she saw he was grinning. He was incredibly beautiful, his pale skin complimented his messy blonde hair and his muscular body was visible under his tight shirt. However, it was nothing in comparison to Seb. Maybe he wasn't as muscular as this guy, but his lean body looked even better in clothes. Not that she knew how it looked without clothes, she thought. She then caught herself thinking about stuff she really shouldn't think about and quickly tried to remove that mental image. Not that she could, but she tried her best while turning her attention back on dancing with the handsome guy.

'Do you want something to drink?' the guy asked after dancing for a while.

She blew a lock out of her face and smiled. 'Yes please.'

'What do you want?' he asked while letting his eyes wander over her body.

She tried not to get nervous when she caught him staring at her. 'A beer please,' she answered. Neon coloured drinks were done for the night, she still had to be able to stand on her own two legs when going home.

'Keir!' Abby swung her arms around Keira's neck and was almost choking her. She tried to loosen the grip and signalled Tom for help.

'I saw you dancing with a guy,' Abby giggled while blowing kisses in the direction of the brown haired guy. She was clearly drunk and was swaying dangerously, so Tom and Keira grabbed her arms.

'I guess I did.'

'Do you like him?' Abby was now making kissing noises and Tom was trying hard to keep her on her feet.

Keira sighed and laughed at the sight of her best friend, she indeed looked eighteen again. 'I don't like him, but he's kind of cute, right?' she said while trying to locate him in the crowd.

'I think he's really cute, but I don't think you want to share?' Abby tried to pout, but ended up laughing each time she pressed her lips together. 'Oh, he's coming back!' she yelled pointing at her left.

'Your drink,' the guy said while raising an eyebrow at Abby. He clearly was confused by the situation.

Keira grinned. 'Don't bother, she's drunk,' she grabbed his hand and pulled him away from her friends. She stuck her tongue out at them and gave them a small wave.

She could dance the whole night, she thought while swaying to the music. He was a good dancer and he made her feel alive with his small touches and eager smiles. Not that his smile was as perfect as Seb's, no definitely not. Seb's smile made her heart race and made her forget about anything but him. They way his lips curved to show a row of perfect teeth, the way the corners of his mouth lifted, the way his smile travelled all the way up to his eyes, it was all perfect. No, he definitely wasn't like Seb. Not that it mattered though because she was dancing with a handsome guy and she was enjoying herself. She locked eyes with Abby and Tom who were dancing close to her and they all shared the same thought, tonight was a good night.

\----------

She didn't know how late it was, but she knew it was difficult to get her key into the lock of her front door. Giggling at her own clumsiness she tried another key, this time she was able to put it into the lock. God, she was really drunk, she thought. They had stayed longer than anticipated and also drank a lot more than she had wanted to. It had been fun though, it was good to let your hair down once in a while. It was not so much fun the way her head was pounding right now and she made her way to the kitchen to get some water and painkillers. There was still a light on, so David must still be up.

She swallowed the painkillers and emptied the glass of water only to fill it up and empty it again. She walked into the living room and found David sitting on the couch, watching TV with a bottle of Vodka in his hands.

'Where have you been?' he snarled.

This wasn't going to be good, she sighed. 'Out,' she answered.

'With who?' he narrowed his eyes and put the bottle on the ground. His jaw clenched and his expression hardened when he noticed she was drunk.

'Abby and Tom, who else?' she said. She was standing awkwardly in the doorway and didn't know if it was wise to come in.

'Why are you drunk?' his voice was full of anger and his eyes had darkened. He kicked over an empty bottle when he tried to get up.

She was weighing up her options, but knew she could better tell the truth. 'Because we went to a club and had fun,' she said. She folded her arms and hoped she didn't look like a pushover. 

'You were hooking up with other guys, weren't you?' he spat at her while trying to stay on his feet. He stabilised himself against the wall and narrowed his eyes. 'Don't lie to me!' he yelled.

She hadn't said anything yet, but it was clear that he was imagining things. He stumbled into her direction and she felt the urge to run, but she knew he would be faster than her. With quite some force he yanked her bag out of her hands.

'Shall we look on your phone then?' he shot her an evil grin while rummaging through her bag. His eyes glittered darkly when he found what he was looking for. Knowing her code he unlocked her phone.

She knew she had nothing to nothing to hide, because she wouldn't do anything to hurt him. She just had to be patient and try to calm down, she told herself.

A loud growl came from David's direction. 'I knew it!' he yelled. 'You little slut, you thought I wouldn't find out?' he spat in her face and took a step closer to her. 'Who the fuck is Sebastian?!'

She felt all the blood drain from her face, she had forgotten about those messages. Not that they were anything to feel ashamed about, but she knew David wouldn't listen to her if she explained it to him.

He brought his face very close to hers. 'How dare you come into my house while smelling like other men!', he gave her a small push. 'How dare you sleep with anyone else and humiliate me,' he pushed her again and she was now standing with her back against the wall.

Fear crossed her face and she closed her eyes, she knew what was coming and she wasn't able to defend herself, again. She dug her nails into the wall and she felt her lip tremble, she had never seen him this angry before. She was scared and afraid of what was coming. She tried to push him away, but he only snarled and pushed her back against the wall.

'You want to get away, darling?' he said while using a baby voice. 'Though luck, you're my property so I decide when you stay or go, OK?' he brushed her cheek gently with his finger.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and a shiver crept up her spine when she felt him touch her face. His breath smelled of alcohol and she almost passed out when he breathed heavily in her face.

'Such a pretty face,' he said with a sardonic smile. He swept his brown hair aside and whispered something in her ear.

If there had been any blood left in her face, it had now gone. She bit her lip and pressed her lips together. She hadn't dared to open her eyes again and was waiting for his next insult.

'You're a slut _and_ a liar now, aren't we?'

Without any warning her head hit the wall and it felt like her skull was splitting open from the pain. She could taste blood in her mouth and panic flowed through her body. Before she could gather her senses she felt another blow to her face, she tilted her head, but pain spread to her limbs and she was unable to move.  Her body felt numb and she couldn't process what just happened.

'Just what you deserve darling, I think no one would want you anymore now.'

She could hear his voice from somewhere far away, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Her eyes stung and she could feel the blood dripping on her arms. Suddenly the air was knocked out of her lungs and she felt the need to throw up. The pain from the last blow numbed her brain and she couldn't think straight. She needed to protect herself, so she stuck her arms out. They were immediately pushed aside and another excruciating source of pain arose on her face. She tried to say something, but nothing was coming out of her mouth. Her chest was hit again and not able to breathe she sank down to the ground, protecting her face in the process.

She could hear footsteps going to the door and then the sound of the front door being slammed shut. She tried to get up, but she couldn't. So she crawled over the floor to pick up her phone. With the greatest effort she found Abby's number.

'Abby, Abby help me please...' she muttered in the phone before the phone slipped out of her hands. She tried to reach the phone with her fingers, but it was too far away. Then everything went black before her eyes and a last tear rolled down her cheek.


	17. Leaving

Her head was throbbing and when she opened her eyes everything was blurry. The light was very bright and when she tried to move her head the pain took over her body. She didn't know what had happened and taking a deep breath made it even worse, because her chest was hurting badly. After blinking a few times she could make out a white room and a person curled up in a chair next to her bed, Abby. Images from last night started flashing through her head and she slammed her eyes shut again while gritting her teeth. She let out a huge sigh, but winced when her cheek started to sting. Her face was bandaged and she imagined she had to be worse off than the last time.

'Hey, you're awake?' Abby's voice broke the silence in the room. She sat up in her chair and moved closer to the bed. She stroke Keira's hair when she saw a tear rolling down the bruised face. 'Shhh, don't worry, you're safe here,' she said in a tiny voice.

She could feel Abby's warm hand on her skin and tried to wipe away a tear. Abby being here meant a lot, she wasn't strong enough this time to do it alone. 'You're here,' she whispered.

'Of course I'm here! Where else would I be?' Abby sounded serious, but her voice trembled. She sat down on the bed so she could be closer to Keira. 'I'm so glad you called me,' a tear was now also escaping from her eyes.

'I did?' Keira was confused, there were still gaps in her memory from last night. She looked at Abby and tried to give her a small smile, but her face was hurting too much.

'Yes, you did. I immediately knew that something was wrong, so I called Tom and we hurried to your house. We found you passed out on the floor in a puddle of blood, it was the worst thing I have ever seen...' her voice trailed off and she scooped up one of Keira's hands. 'I was so scared Keir, I thought you were gone,' her voice was small and more tears escaped her eyes.

Keira squeezed her hand. 'I'm so sorry, I should've listened to you. It's all my fault, again,' she said timidly. Her throat was hurting and she could feel more tears burning in her eyes. The white room made the situation even more real and it contributed to the guilt she felt towards her friends, she had let them down.

'Don't worry, focus on recovery for now,' Abby planted a kiss on Keira's hair and handed her a glass of water to drink.

'I've ruined your night,' Keira sighed while accepting the water. 'I think I unintentionally cockblocked your guy, didn't I?' she tried to grin but her face wouldn't let her, so she just went with an apologetic smile.

The corners of Abby's mouth quirked up. 'Well, in the morning they aren't nearly as attractive as I thought they were, so it's not so bad,' she smirked while running her fingers through her uncombed hair. 'I'm glad you're like you again.'

'My body hurts all over though, do you know what happened?' she tried to reposition her pillow and even her arms were covered in bruises.

The smile faded from Abby's face when she heard that. 'I don't know exactly, David was nowhere to be seen when we arrived. However, the doctor said you have a broken cheekbone and bruised ribs,' she tried not to look too upset, she wanted to be strong for her friend.

Keira groaned, right, this was perfect. She would never forgive David for this, he had gone too far this time. Something other than her cheekbone also had broken last night, namely her heart. She had always kept hope that life would get better and that loving someone was going to be enough to fix problems. Now she saw that wasn't true and although she felt her heart ache at the prospect of leaving David, it had to be done.

'It could have been more serious,' Abby's voice sounded, 'you've been very lucky they said.'

Keira let out a hollow laugh. 'They call this lucky?' she said while pointing at her face.

Abby stayed silent for a while and focused on a fly on the window. 'You know what they mean Keir,' she said with her voice full of emotion.

'I'm sorry, you're right.'

'What are you going to do now, where are you going to live?' Abby suddenly snapped back her head and pierced her eyes into Keira's.

'I have to find a new place to live, but I don't think that'll be easy. So until then I have to stay at home...' he voice trailed off when she realised what she had just said. She had to go back home and live there again. She shivered, she didn't want to go back home ever again. The place now only held bad memories and it had stopped feeling like home a long time ago.

Abby drew herself up and planted her arms on her hips. 'No way, you're not going back there! I'll take you home with me if I must,' she said with a raised voice. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes flashed with rage.

Keira was taken aback by her friend's reaction. 'OK chill, do you have another option?' she said while feeling her head starting to throb again. The pillow was soft, but it still felt like resting her head on a brick.

After a few moments of silence it was Abby who spoke again. 'Why don't you go back to Belfast for a while?'

Keira sniggered while cursing herself for doing that because it hurt. 'Yeah, I think my parents will be happy to see me like this. I think they'll instantly die from a heart attack or something,' she said. She would never let her parents see her like this, they would never recover and would blame themselves. No, she had to go somewhere else. The bandage on her face was itching and she felt uncomfortable laying in this hard bed.

'I guess you're right,' Abby admitted. She was playing with her hair and tapping her feet against the chair. Her clothes were wrinkled and the scent of alcohol was still there, she also looked very tired after a night of very little sleep.

'I'll just sleep in a box beneath the largest bridge I can find then.'

'Still safer,' Abby looked serious, but a weak smile was just visible on her lips.

'Probably true,' muttered Keira.

Suddenly Abby made a squeaking noise. 'I know the perfect solution,' she yelled, 'just go back to Switzerland!'

Keira's eyes widened, she didn't understand. 'Why?' she said confused while looking at her excited friend.

'Why not? You have a home there, you know it here, you like it there. Best of all, it's far away from David!'

Actually, it wasn't that bad of a suggestion she thought. She could look for a place to live in London without having to stay at David's and she could heal up without people she knew noticing. It seemed like the perfect temporary solution that was on offer right now.

'So what do you think?' Abby shot Keira an expecting gaze.

'Maybe you're right,' she began, 'if my parents will let me stay there though.'

'Don't worry about them. Just tell them that you love the place and you want to find a job there. I don't think they'll stop you.'

'OK, I'll give them a call tomorrow. But Abbs,' she said doubtfully, 'if I really am going to live there for a while, how do I get all my stuff there?'

'I'll help you pack and I'm sure Tom will too and then we'll just sent it over, no problem at all,' she explained, 'but I'm not letting you alone in that house anymore!' she added.

'How am I going to explain this to David?' Keira said while staring at her hands. She had been going over this in her head, but not one scenario seemed to end well.

'You don't have to because you're going to report him to the police,' Abby said with a stern look in her eyes. She had folded her arms and kicked the chair over in frustration. Not bothering to pick it up she settled back on the bed.

Keira's throat clenched up and she couldn't breathe. Her stomach jolted and she felt dizziness setting in, her body not registering the pain this caused. She couldn't report him to the police, she loved him and he was a good guy by nature. The shock must have been visible on her face because she felt an reassuring hand on her arm.

'You don't have to do it just yet, but you have to some day. He needs help Keira, what if he does it to someone else?' Abby's voice sounded soft and comforting. She stroke Keira's purple arm and tried to calm her down again. 'Just think about it.'

A tear slit down Keira's face and she looked at her best friend. She knew she just wanted to help, but she couldn't do it yet, it was all still too fresh. Each second her head was throbbing more painfully and she could feel it numbing her thoughts. She closed her eyes again and tried to let go, let go of everything.

\----------

'You have to be joking!' David yelled who was standing in the living room. He had came home a couple of minutes ago to find Abby, Tom and Keira packing up boxes.

Abby narrowed her eyes and her face twisted in disgust. 'You're leaving her alone, do you hear me?'

They were all positioned in the living room and the boxes they had filled upstairs were put down next to the sofa. Keira was sitting on the sofa, not yet ready to do as much physical work as she would like. The look of terror on her face fuelled the anger of her best friends who were towering over David at the moment. She had felt safe enough with them both in the room to tell David she was leaving him and not coming back. He had been angry and had called her selfish for leaving him alone. Abby had exploded and she had just threatened him with going to the police.

'You can't report me and Keira will never do that,' he spat in Abby's face and his lips drew back in a snarl. Leaning against the doorpost he tried to look unfazed by the whole situation.

Keira looked from one to the other and wasn't sure what was coming next, they had never fallen out like this. She envied Abby for being able to stand up to David and she had seen a flicker of fear in his eyes when Abby had threatened him. He wasn't invincible after all, she thought.

An evil smile was playing on Abby's lips when she noticed David's clenched fists. 'How are you so sure?'

'Because she's weak,' he answered with a devilish grin on his face. He looked at his nails and put his hand back in his pocket. 'She always has been,' he added nonchalantly.

She felt tears burn in her eyes again when his words hit her, he was such an asshole. She couldn't believe she ever loved him, all the good times they had spent together were washed from her memory immediately. She would never let herself getting attached to someone ever again, she thought. Never again will she give someone the opportunity to hurt her and to treat her like trash. It didn't matter that she would end up alone, alone would always be better than this.  

'And you're not?' Abby wasn't going to let David win this round.

His smug face went blank. 'What do you mean?' he said.

'You mean beating up women because you can't handle life is not a sign of weakness?' Abby had stopped yelling and instead focused on his body language. It was clear that he was feeling uncomfortable. He fiddled with the zipper of his hoodie and his eyes were scanning the room.

Sitting on the sofa she was still unable to move, she wanted to tell David what she really thought and show him that she wasn't weak. Although she was weak, there was no denying it and she couldn't pretend in front of David. She felt Tom putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her back against his chest. It felt safe and familiar, she was sure these were the people who would still be in her life fifty years later.

'Keep your hands off my girlfriend!' David yelled suddenly.

Tom sniggered and planted a kiss on Keira's hair. 'She's not your girlfriend anymore, mate.'

'She is,' he hissed, 'aren't you babe?'

She could feel his eyes bore into her and the colour drained out of her face. The stares of everybody in the room felt like daggers being thrown at her and her head started throbbing again. Her broken cheekbone ached even more now that she wasn't able to numb out her feelings.

She took a deep breath and looked David straight in the eye. 'I'm not.'

He seemed taken aback by that, not used to the fact that Keira would go against him. His mouth snapped shut and he was clearly lost for words.

'I think it's time for us to go,' Abby's voice broke the silence that had fallen.

'Good idea,' Tom answered while still stroking Keira's back. He pushed her away very gently and gave her an encouraging smile. 'Don't worry, I will do all the heavy lifting,' he grinned.

Without much effort all the boxes were put in Abby's car. Not much in the house was actually hers, because she had moved into David's house when they had decided on living together. It made the whole ordeal much easier she thought, now she didn't had to worry about getting David out of the house. It was an opportunity to start fresh again and she was really looking forward to that. She stroke the skin on her face and hoped Abby's job in covering the marks was good enough to go outside. She was constantly in pain and it would take at least six weeks for her cheekbone to heal properly, but that was nothing in comparison to the pain her bruised ribs caused her. Breathing felt like being stabbed in the chest and the problem was that she couldn't stop breathing, it was awful.

'Are you coming?' Abby yelled at Keira from the other side of the car.

She looked back at the house once more and accepted the fact that she was never going back there. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She yelped in pain and disgust when she saw it was David standing behind her.

'Don't go Keir...,' he said with a pleading sound in his voice.

She looked at him with a blank face, he had some nerve to ask her that.

'Remember all the good times we had?' he said while trying to grab her hand.

'You did a very good job in removing those from my mind,' she answered bitterly. She bit her lip and watched Tom and Abby standing next to the car. Their faces were showing their thoughts and it was the confirmation Keira needed.

'Please, I beg you,' he tried again.

'Goodbye David,' she said with an icy tone. With that she turned around and walked towards the car. She adjusted the bag that was hanging from her shoulder and straightened her back, from now on she was free. Free at last.


	18. Work

Being back in Switzerland felt like being freed from a cage. A huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders and everything seemed brighter than before. She even found herself greeting random people on the street, something that she hadn't done in a long time. A spring was back in her step and she could now see how much fear had numbed her feelings over time. Without her noticing it had taken over her life and now that she was free it made her sad to realise how much she had missed. The sharp pain while breathing and eating reminded her of the fact that still all was not well yet. She wasn't able to cover up her face like she used to and sometimes she caught people staring at her. It made her feel uncomfortable, but the guilt that had always been there was significantly less at least.

She stared out the window and could see people walking by, laughing and talking with their company. The familiar scent of coffee filled her nostrils and it funnily enough made her feel like she was back in London. She finished the order she was making and handed the coffee she was holding in her hands to the waiting customer. It had been a good choice to apply for a job here and it made sense to start somewhere familiar. Not knowing the regulars yet was a pity, because the small conversations were what she liked best about the job. However, it had been doing wonders for her German and she also was becoming more familiar with the characteristics of the Swiss. With a smile on her face she went around the counter to clean the empty tables.

A lot of people where relaxing in the big arm chairs, whether having a conversation or frantically typing on their laptops. The atmosphere was very different from her job at the cafe back home. There most of the customers were commuters and people were always in a hurry, here almost everyone took the time to sit down and just enjoy their coffees. The next table to clean was one of the tables at the window, it reminded her of that time she and Sebastian had met up and had set at that exact same table. She couldn't hold back a smile when the image of Seb sitting there popped up in her head. The sugar bowl was still there, although she was sure that the contents had been replaced after the mess he had made. She straightened her apron and started collecting empty mugs, she could not be thinking of Sebastian right now. Since she had been back in Switzerland she had not seen him, not even just a glimpse. Maybe he was on holiday, she thought, or maybe he was away for work. She sighed at that thought and put several empty mugs on her tray. It didn't matter how much she tried not to, her mind still kept wandering to Seb several times a day.

'Keira, we need you!'

She turned around to locate the source of the voice and saw Elsa waving at her from behind the counter. There was indeed a small queue forming so she quickly picked up the last empty mugs and went to help her colleague. The cafe also sold a lot of homemade cakes and pastries, so orders could get complicated.

'How may I help you?' she asked the blonde girl who was staring at the cakes.

'I can't decide on which one to choose,' the girl answered apologetically. 'I want to surprise my boyfriend, but he always complains about my choices.'

Keira smiled, she knew that feeling and also everything looked so good that you would just like to buy everything. 'What does he like?' she tried to help the girl.

'Chocolate, but he's always sulking that he isn't allowed to eat it,' she sighed. 'He has been away for a few days, so I just wanted to do something nice.'

'Well, one piece of chocolate cake wouldn't hurt, would it?' she smiled. In the mean time she started to top up the croissants, because they always sold very rapidly.

The girl grinned. 'I guess you're right. I just have to hide it for his trainer, otherwise he would kill me.'

'This one then?' Keira pointed at the cake with the largest amount of chocolate covering it. The girl nodded and grabbed her wallet from her bag. After packing up the cake and wishing her a nice day she continued with topping the other products.

\----------

The rain came down very heavily and people were running in different directions to find shelter. Damn it, the weather had been so beautiful when he had left and now he was treated to this. He had hoped after almost having to use a boat for transport in England that the weather here would at least be dry. Of course he hadn't brought an umbrella so now his hair and clothes were soaked and it made him feel miserable. He already wasn't in a very good mood, he had been in several arguments with Mark over the last days and it had drained him mentally. While brushing the wet hair out of his eyes he could only think of one place he wanted to go to right now.

He pushed open the door and spotted an empty table next to a couple of guys who were folding Origami. While raising an eyebrow at the rather unusual situation he sat down at the empty table and observed the guys. He could smell they were slightly intoxicated already, but it was staggering how accurate they still were while folding.

'Can I take your order?' a voice sounded from behind him.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he turned around. 'Keira?'

'Seb?' she said sounding surprised. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open at the sight of Sebastian.

A smile appeared on his face, she had remembered to call him Seb. He was surprised however to see her here, because she had gone back to England. Also the fact that she was wearing an apron sure meant that she was working here and that confused him even more.

'What are you doing here, I thought you were in England?' he raised an eyebrow, but a small grin played on his lips. 'And speaking German now, are we?'

'Working,' she stuttered in English this time. Her cheeks turned pink and she dropped the tray she was carrying. When she picked it up her cheeks had turned red. 'Sorry,' she muttered.

Although her cheeks had turned red, he could still see some swelling and bruising. It looked painful and still quite fresh, like it had happened very recently. He couldn't imagine someone hurting such a sweet girl, but he had spotted signs before. Also how she had reacted when they had accidentally touched  had raised some questions. The hurt look in her eyes gave away that at least something was bothering her and he didn't know what to do about it. The last time he had brought it up she panicked and he had hated himself for upsetting her.

She could feel him staring at her face and his fixed eyes made her realise he had spotted her broken cheekbone. She could see recognition dawning on his face and afraid of his reaction she glanced up at the ceiling.

'Why did you come back?' he asked. His voice sounded concerned and a line had formed between his eyebrows, but he stayed clear of asking what he had wanted to.

She played with her hair and observed the growing pile of Origami on the next table before looking back at him. It was unnecessary to say she was taken aback by being suddenly confronted with Sebastian. Sure she had been thinking about him the last couple of days, about if she would see him again one day, but this had been a very unexpected meeting. His wet hair was sticking to his face and his eyes showed signs of exhaustion, he must have had a rough time. Normally there would have been a smile on his face and this worrying look suited him less. Not that it made him look horrible, absolutely not, but he wasn't able to light up a room like he normally was.

'Why are you wet?' she retorted the question.

The corners of his mouth turned up a little and his eyes softened. 'It rained,' he grinned.

'Thank you Captain Obvious,' she sighed dramatically.

He shrugged his shoulders and his smile widened. 'Wasn't expecting it to rain here, so was not prepared for the rain sadly,' he pouted while trying to look as sad as possible.

'But it has been raining for a couple of days now?' she raised her eyebrows, although he looked adorable trying to look sad.

'I didn't know that! I have been in England for work and only came back yesterday evening, so...'

The situation seemed somewhat funny to her, he had been in England and she was here in Switzerland, just the opposite of where they both belonged. 'Boring business trip or was it actually fun?' she asked. He had sounded somewhat frustrated and he was tugging on his wet hair very passive aggressively, so she thought she knew the answer already.

'Boring and frustrating, especially one of my colleagues,' he said in a tired voice. He rolled his eyes and slumped his head down on the table, frustration was clearly visible.

'Sounds fun,' she smirked in an attempt to make him feel less annoyed. 'What has he done to you?' she added.

He started slamming his head on the table and groaned in exasperation. Now he had to explain to her about Mark, but how was he going to do that without giving away what he actually was doing for a living? He already felt guilty about hiding it from her, but he couldn't get himself to ruin everything yet. Maybe one day there would be an opportunity to share his situation.

'Well, at work my colleague and I are both in the running for eh... a bonus at the end of the year. We're both quite competitive and he's constantly accusing me of not playing by the rules and me getting preferential treatment. Which of course is all bullshit,' he said through gritted teeth. Mark could be such an asshole, it wasn't his fault that most of the time he couldn't keep up with him. If he wanted to win the WDC this year he should do better, whining about him wasn't going to change anything.

'Sounds like a very nice guy,' Keira said while trying not to laugh when she spotted his expression.

'He can be perfectly nice, but he also can be such a petulant child sometimes,' he explained. He had put his hands in his hair and leaned back against the back of the chair. His fingers got tangled up in his hair, because it was still wet. Frustrated with that absolutely nothing worked out for him he shut his eyes. It was weird but nice to meet Keira here, and in some ways it made him feel slightly better to see that she was back. However, she still had avoided his question why she was here in the first place.

'And you're always an angel, I assume?' she said jokingly. Her mouth twitched when she saw him glaring at her.

'Always perfectly behaved, what else?' he smirked innocently.

'Oh yes, having puked in front of anybody lately?'

'Shut up,' he muttered.

'Well, well, for someone that says he's well behaved that's quite some strong language!' she laughed.

'Bollocks,' he replied under his breath.

'Slipped up again?' she clearly enjoyed winding him up.

'OK, maybe you do have a point,' he admitted, 'but only slightly!'

'Good boy,' she giggled. 'Seriously though, just focus on your own job, because I assume that's already hard enough,' she added.

'I will try my best, but you have to do that too then,' he grinned.

Keira looked  at him with a puzzled expression. 'What do you mean?'

'Weren't you supposed to take my order?' he wiggled his eyebrows while pointing at the menu he was holding. He graved for coffee, being stressed always made him more coffee dependent and he already had gone too long without it.

'Oh shit, I'm sorry!' she almost dropped the tray again. She just caught it and looked around if someone had seen her. 'What do you want?' she asked sounding mortified.

'Are you always this clumsy?' he joked while giving her a wink.

'I don't understand why you have any friends,' she sighed.

'Because I'm funny!'

'You aren't,' she looked deadly serious.

'I am!' he tried to convince her.

'You aren't.'

'OK fine! One Americano then please,' he batted his lashes and tried not to laugh when he saw her face.

'One Americano coming up then,' she shot him a slight smile and walked away to get the coffee.

He moved his chair a little to the right so that he could see the counter from where he was sitting. He was intrigued by her, that was something he couldn't deny. She threw her long hair over her shoulders when she laughed at a joke, all while concentrating on making the coffee. It was clear that she was liked by her colleagues and he had also been surprised by the improvement of her German, she was definitely a quick learner.

'One Americano for you,' Keira said when putting the coffee in front of him, 'and one for me,' she added.

'Drinking coffee in the boss's time, you're quite a rebel I see...,' he smirked.

She sipped her coffee and wrapped her hands around the mug. 'Well, ever heard of taking a break?'

'That doesn't sound as adventurous,' he sighed disappointedly.

'Why does it have to be adventurous?' she raised one eyebrow and her mouth curved into a sarcastic smile.

'Because everything in life should be adventurous, makes everything better!' he explained.

'Why?' she asked again. She was playing with the mug in her hand, almost spilling coffee on the table.

'Just because,' he shrugged, not really knowing a good answer.

'Thanks for clearing that up,' she added.

'I can teach you all the important life lessons if you want?' he tried to make her smile again. He would do anything to make her smile as it brightened up his mood very successfully.

'No thanks, I think I'll pass. I intent to live a bit longer, if you don't mind,' she smirked.

'That's not fair! Do I look like a fool to you?' he tried to sound indignant, but he felt his mouth twitch. Damn it, she was not making it easy for him.

'Do you want me to answer truthfully?' she glanced at him looking innocent.

'Only if you say nice things,' he answered. He took another sip of his coffee, the warm liquid was also contributing to brightening his mood significantly. His wet clothes finally started to dry a bit and he tried to fix his hair, although he knew it wouldn't help much.

'I can't accept such high demands,' she chuckled.

He tried to look offended and folded his arms. 'And you ask me why _I_ have any friends?'

'Point taken,' she grinned. She put down her empty mug and glanced at her watch. 'I have to get back to work again, do you want another coffee?'

'If that isn't too high of a demand, yes please,' he answered. He was slightly disappointed that she had to go, it was nice to have some distraction from the stress at Red Bull. Although it was the summer break, the pressure was still high. His championship hopes were very slim with him now being 42 points behind Fernando, stupid Ferrari. At least he was now only two points behind Mark again, so the last race was a good one in some extent. He couldn't wait to shut Mark up again and show him who was the number one driver at Red Bull. He smiled, at least he was a double world champion, Mark however was not.


	19. Sharing

It was surprising how quickly Switzerland had felt like home, it was like she had been here for months. It was exactly what she had needed and every day she felt a little bit more like herself again. Her body was still healing very slowly, but at least she was recovering. She was now able to breathe normally again and that made everything a lot easier already, especially at work. She had told her colleagues that she was robbed and that's why she had those injuries. They really were wonderful because they always took her injuries into account and helped her wherever they could. Working with them was great fun and it felt like she was starting to make new friends.

She absentmindedly stroked the bruise on her face and glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, it was almost eleven. He was always here around eleven so she quickly went to clean the table at the window. She caught herself staring out the window looking for Sebastian, but he was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and tried not to feel disappointed, she didn't even know if he would be here today. While she cleaned the other tables she thought about all the times he had came in. He had always ordered the same coffee and he was always able to cheer her up. She even had arranged that she could take her break around eleven, so that she could join him for a coffee. It had surprised her how easy it was to talk to him and how time seemed to fly during those moments.

'Hey there,' Seb said.

'Hi!' she replied happily. There he was, he must be a Ninja or something, because a second ago he hadn't been there surely.

'Busy day?' he took off his jacket and tossed it on an empty chair before sitting down.

'Not really, so I've been helping out in the kitchen today,' she answered distractedly. Damn, he looked good today. His hair was a bit messy and he was wearing a white long-sleeved shirt with light grey stripes. The two top buttons were open and revealed a glimpse of his toned chest.

'Doing the dishes?' he shot her a sly smile and began rolling up his sleeves, revealing his strong arms.

'No, practicing my baking skills. It was even good enough to sell!'

He laughed at her enthusiasm and his eyes looked even bluer than before. 'You bake?'

'Yes, started baking when I first came here to clear my head, but now I actually enjoy it,' she explained.

'What did you make today?' he glanced at the counter like he was expecting the cakes to answer.

'Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte,' she answered proudly.

'Nice, chocolate is my favourite,' he answered while licking his lips. 'Can I have some?'

She raised an eyebrow. 'Are you sure? Normally you only drink coffee, I don't think I ever saw you eat cake.'

His face fell a bit. 'I know, but you made it, so I have to try!' he exclaimed, 'And Heikki is going to kill me soon after,' he muttered so that Keira couldn't hear him.

'Alright then, I'll get us both a piece,' she said. She adjusted her apron and disappeared to the back to appear again a few minutes later.

'For your information, this will be on your own risk,' she sniggered when she put down the cake in front of Sebastian. 'I can't be held responsible for any inconveniences you might encounter after eating this, like food poisoning and stuff.'

He shot her an annoyed glare, but his eyes were twinkling. 'You're cruel, you should have become a lawyer.'

'Too boring,' she answered while taking a bite of her cake. She was quite pleased with the cake, it was actually kind of eatable.  

'Yeah, I might agree with that, I like my job better,' he also put some cake into his mouth. 'Is perfect, I can taste chocolate,' he said while trying not to spit out the cake.

Keira rolled her eyes. 'Learn some manners!'

He grinned and swallowed before answering this time. 'I'm sorry,' he said with his best impression of puppy eyes.

Her heart started to race and she could feel her stomach stir, those eyes got to her every time. The sneaky smile that was playing on his lips didn't help either, so she tried to focus on her cake but her eyes kept wandering to his face.

'Really, the cake is good though. I wish I could make this, I normally end up with eggs on the ceiling or something when I try,' he said disappointingly. He tried to scoop up the last crumbs, but they kept falling of his fork. In the end he just licked the plate.

'You really don't have any manners, do you?' she remarked when Sebastian was licking his plate enthusiastically.

He lowered the plate. 'Well, I blame my parents,' he smirked.

'Do you always blame someone else?' she raised her eyebrows.

'All racing-,' he began and his cheeks turned red, 'all men do!' he corrected himself. He looked like he almost gave something away that he shouldn't have. He tugged on the buttons of his shirt, showing even more perfect skin.

'And that's why I've decided to not have any men in my life anymore,' she answered with determination in her eyes.

He looked confused. 'You are a lesbian now?'

She laughed and tossed her hair over her shoulders. 'No, not really. Although I can always try.'

'But you do have a boyfriend, so I don't understand?'

Keira sighed and her shoulders drooped when she heard the question. 'Not anymore.'

He shifted in his seat and his eyes had lit up a little. 'Why?'

'For reasons,' she answered not wanting to go into detail about it.

'Well, I'm sorry then. Is that why you came back?' he sounded interested and he rested his arm on the table.

'Sort of, there were a few things that led me back here. Not that it matters anymore, because I like it here,' that was completely true she thought, 'and it offers the chance to look for a place to live in London without any stress.'

His eyes looked somehow less blue and he bit his lip. 'So, you are going back then?'

'Yes, that's the plan. I don't know when yet, I first have to find a house and a job,' she still hadn't made any progress with that. She had spent hours searching the internet for places to live, but she still couldn't commit to something. What if it was the wrong thing? She also had send out a couple of resumes, but hadn't heard anything back yet.

Sebastian slumped back in his chair and his smile faded. 'That's a pity, I like hanging out with you.'

'I like hanging out with you too!' she patted him on the arm. 'We can always call though?' she smiled and she could see a slight smile starting to appear again. Her fingers still tingled from when she had touched his arm, she had not intended to do that.

'Promise?' he tried to pout and held out his pink.

She chuckled and held out her own pink. 'Pinky promise!'

'How old are we again?' he grinned and they both locked eyes.

'I don't even know how old you are, so I can't answer!' she chuckled.

'If you want to know, just turned 25. From now on I'll only get old,' he sulked. He wrapped his hands around the empty coffee mug and his eyes glazed over.

'No way, life will only get better from now on! We're past the awkward phase and now we can have fun,' she tried to cheer him up. 'I'm also 25, so according to you I'm also old.'

His eyes widened. 'You're not old!' he spluttered.

'Then you aren't also,' she shot him her determined smile. 'Also, fun fact for you. Most women think men will get better looking when turning older.'

He smirked and gave her an astonishing look. 'You do?'

'Most women do, yes, so I would suggest you embrace your old age,' she grinned and ran her hand through her hair.

'You also like older men?' he tried to sound nonchalant, but it didn't really work and he turned pink.

He was a funny guy, she thought. 'If you really want to know, yes. I see aging as a blessing for men,' she tried not to laugh.

'You're not being serious,' he remarked whilst eying her suspiciously.

She threw her hands in the air. 'I am! I can confirm I don't really like the baby faced guys.'

He frowned and touched his own face. 'Do I have a baby face?'

'Have you ever seen babies with a beard?' she shot back at him.

He grinned and ruffled his hair before leaning back in his chair. 'I guess you're right,' he said.

'I always am. Do you want another coffee?' she asked while trying to ignore his amused face.

'Yes please, I don't think you ever have to ask.'

'I know, I think there's coffee running through your veins instead of blood,' she said with a serious expression on her face.

He acted hurt and his lower lip trembled. 'You're a horrible person.'

'I know,' she said casually and put their empty plates and mugs on her tray. 'Cake?'

He gave up his unsuccessful attempt at acting and nodded in defeat.

When she put down the hot coffee and the cake, Sebastian impatiently shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. When he caught Keira's eyes he tried to explain that he was sorry once again by using his hands. This made Keira only laugh and she folded her arms before leaning back against the back of her chair.

'It's just I don't eat much cake normally, I wish I could make this myself,' he sighed when his mouth was finally empty.

'I can teach you if you want?' she said before thinking it over.

He raised one eyebrow and looked surprised. 'Really? Would you do that?'

She nodded and was suddenly nervous and she could feel her cheeks flush. She wasn't sure why exactly she had offered to help him bake a cake, because it was utterly stupid. He must think that she was an idiot or something. Why on earth would she suggest such a thing?

'OK, that would be fun,' he answered, 'but I must warn you that I'm kind of a train wreck.' His face looked guilty and his fingers were tightly gripping the edge of his seat. A slight frown was visible, but he was still as good looking as ever.

'I've been there before,' she chuckled. Thinking about the several attempts Abby, Tom and she had made over the past years, she realised it couldn't get much worse.

'Deal then.'

Oh shit, that meant that she either had to go to his house or he had to go to hers. She already was nervous just sitting with him in the cafe, let alone when it's only the two of them together in a house. She really hadn't thought this through, she feared the fact to be completely alone with a guy again and now she had suggested it herself. Fear was already closing off her throat and her heart was pounding painfully against her bruised ribs, it was really hard to breathe. Trying to calm down she dug her nails in her legs and forced a smile on her face.

He could see that she was trying to smile, but it looked a bit half-heartedly. A sudden change in her expression had appeared when they had agreed to the deal. He couldn't understand why, because she was the one that had suggested it. It looked like she had sudden realised something and hesitation was visible on her face.

'Am I that scary?' he suggested.

She jumped a little when she heard his voice. 'What do you mean?'

'Nothing, was just joking,' he shook his head and tried to read her face, it was still a bit pale.

'Are you ever serious?' she gave him a tiny smile and twisted a lock of her hair around her finger.

'You always think so positively about me, I'm flattered,' he said indignantly, but he smiled anyway.

'You're welcome!' she grinned.

He gave her a dirty look and threw his napkin in her direction, it missed. 

'You're a funny guy,' she laughed and she picked up the napkin from the floor. Her long hair shielded her face and the sun illuminated her hair so it almost looked golden.

'I told you so,' he grinned. His eyes were still on her hair, although she had already tossed it over her shoulders again. Normally he liked blondes, but something about Keira made that somehow unimportant. She was beautiful as she was and he didn't think blonde would even suit her.

'I already knew your ego was very big, if that's what you mean,' she grinned. 'How come you are always here every day, don't you have work or something?'

'Holidays,' he answered. He was surprised by the sudden change of subject and was taken aback by the question. She hadn't asked him much about his work and he was glad about that.

'Then why is your arse not somewhere on a tropical beach?' a puzzled look had appeared on her face.

He couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud. 'Not interested, that's not really my thing. I like to be home when I have the chance,' he smirked. 'By the way, interested in my arse are you?' he wiggled his eyebrows and shot her a mischievous smile. He could see her turning red instantly and she nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 'Just joking,' he added with a wink. She looked adorable when embarrassed, but maybe this wasn't his smartest move.

'What do you mean by wanting to stay home when you get the chance?' she smartly ignored his last remarks.

He paused to formulate the right sentences in his head. 'Motorsports is a global business, so I travel quite a lot. Especially to England where the headquarters is,' he said hesitantly. He hoped that she wouldn't ask any further questions about it.

'Sounds like a lot of fun', she remarked.

'So why aren't you on a sunny island?' he retorted her initial question, hoping to steer the conversation away from this dangerous topic.

She smiled and stretched her legs so that she could lean back in her chair. 'I don't really like beaches and mass tourism, neither my parents so that's why we always went here. I would rather read a book quietly in the mountains than laying on a square meter on a busy beach.'

He could relate to that, he didn't like very populated areas. In his case it was even worse, because most people knew who he was and he couldn't go anywhere unnoticed. Once he had been on holiday with Hanna on an almost private beach and the paparazzi still had found them to take pictures, he had not been amused then.

Keira suddenly stood up and yelped quietly when she spotted the time, he saw that it had been twenty minutes already. He could see her colleagues looking at her, but it was clear that they didn't mind her taking a longer break. Swiss people were nice people he thought and with that he gave Keira and her colleagues a little wave.


	20. Supermarket

Morning quickly had became her favourite time of the day, although she didn't want to admit that to herself. Also surely Sebastian had nothing to do with that, it was just that she liked how the watery sun was illuminating the streets. Today was her day off, so she would miss her much loved walk to work sadly. Nevertheless, there were other more important things to worry about. She was pacing back and forth in the kitchen to make it somehow look presentable. However, it mustn't look like she had put much effort into it and finding that balance was stressing her out. She kept moving the toaster and almost dropped it on the ground in the process. She had to calm down, she told herself. She leaned against the wall and put her hand on her chest, being stressed increased the pain in her ribs and it was hurting a lot. Calm down, just take a deep breath and everything will be fine. At that moment the doorbell rang.

When she opened the door she could see Sebastian standing there with his hands in his pockets. Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes met his and his mouth curved into a smile. He was looking perfect as always and he was wearing tighter jeans than normal.

'Hi, may I come in?' he grinned.

'Of course!' she said hastily. She had just been staring at him and his appearance had made her forget to ask him inside, this was not a good start already. She quickly took a step back and signed with her arms for him to come in. When he walked past her the smell of mint and petrol filled her nostrils and a shiver crept up her spine. She took a deep breath and followed him inside the living room while trying not to notice how round his butt looked in his jeans.

'I like it here,' he said when he walked around the room. He admired the woodwork and tried out the sofa and some of the chairs.

'Do you want something to drink?' she asked nervously standing in the doorway that separated the kitchen from the living room.

'Coffee?' he chuckled while making himself comfortable on the sofa.

'I shouldn't have asked,' she grinned. 'Coffee will be served in the kitchen.' She turned around and opened one of the cupboards to get the coffee.

'Can I help?' Sebastian had followed her into the kitchen and was now leaning against the wall. He looked like a model from some popular fashion magazine.

'Who makes coffee for a living?' she snorted.

'Point taken', he smirked and ran his fingers through his hair. 'I'll shut up and let you work.'

'I don't mind if you talk, just don't touch my coffee,' she said warningly, although she was still smiling. Focussing on the coffee was really hard when he stood there against the wall, she almost put in double the amount of coffee and only noticed it when she was almost done. Damn it Seb, go sit down or something.

'I finally decided which cake I wanted to make,' he spoke.

She turned her head in his direction and raised an eyebrow. 'Really? Which cake then?'

A corner of his mouth lifted and his eyes lit up. 'Sachertorte!'

'You really do have a chocolate obsession, don't you?' she chuckled. He looked as happy as a child and she spotted him licking his lips. She felt her stomach lurch at that sight and cursed him in her head, damn it Seb!

'Who doesn't?' he answered while rolling his eyes, like she had asked him if water was wet.

She smirked and leaned back against the kitchen counter. 'Me,' she answered with an amused grin.

His jaw dropped and he looked utterly shocked. 'You're lying!'

'Nope,' she answered and she poured the coffee into two large mugs which were standing on the counter, 'although I like Toblerone,' she added.

His eyes were still wide, but he had closed his mouth. 'At least that's something,' he muttered, 'but now I have to find another cake to make.'

'Don't be stupid, we'll make your cake. I just take a smaller piece to eat than you, simple,' she smiled and put down the coffee in front of him. 'We only still have to make a shopping list, so let's start.'

He pulled out his phone from his pocket and tried to find the recipe. A lot of curses in German were turning the air blue and she could make out of it that he wasn't able to find what he was looking for.

'Having trouble?' she grinned and he shot back an angry  glare. 'Here, let me look,' she grabbed the phone and within seconds had found a recipe.

'How did you do that?' he sulked when she showed him the recipe. He put his head in his hands and planted his elbows on the table.

'Magic,' she answered dramatically.

'I knew it.'

'OK, so let's make the list. You tell me what the recipe says, I'll write it down,' she said. Normally she was quite good in making shopping lists and she didn't really know how skilled Sebastian was in this area. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and started writing.

'Seven egg yolks,' he started to read. 'Can you buy those separately?' he asked sounding amused.

'Back home we can, but I doubt we'll find it here. Also if you had read the recipe it says seven egg whites as well, so you need seven whole eggs,' she explained.

He sighed and tugged on his hair. 'See, I'm already messing things up.'

She shrugged her shoulders and tried not to smile too broadly. 'I think it's funny,' she admitted.

'Yes, Schadenfreude it is then,' he grumbled. 'You know, you look all sweet and innocent, but I know that you're actually very mean!'

'Poor you, do I have to get your mummy?' she tried to sound concerned and picked up the pen again to continue the list.

'No, I want cake,' he said loudly while sipping from his coffee.

She smiled when she spotted his annoyed face. 'Just continue reading then,' she ordered him.

'Fine, 220 grams of dark chocolate,' he read from the screen. He was squinting his eyes to make out the exact amount correctly.

She groaned. 'Oh no, this recipe uses grams,' she wasn't used at all to using the metric system, because her country was too stupid to educate them properly. She had been using it a lot while baking lately, but it still was really confusing. Luckily the products in the shops were already in grams, so it was easier to get the right amount.

'Stupid British people,' he said happily.

'I can't disagree with that,' she sighed while writing down what they needed.

She felt a lot calmer than she thought she would be, it was actually quite nice to sit her with Sebastian. She felt almost as secure with him as with Abby and Tom, although it was still all a bit uncomfortable. Not knowing how he acted in certain situations made her hesitant to come too close to him and she also caught herself holding her breath when he walked in her direction for example. It was weird to feel this conflicted, because she really liked Seb and he almost felt like a friend and on the other hand she didn't want anything to do with guys anymore. With a sigh she went on with writing down the ingredients he was reading out loud.

\----------

'You can't be serious, how are there more than ten sorts of sugar?'

They were standing in the supermarket and were currently trying to find the last items on their shopping list. Sebastian had been surprised by almost anything on the list and it was clear to her that he normally didn't do much shopping, or cooking, or at least bought different things once in a while. She expected him to just buy the same things over and over again and not care that there were more options than just one.

'How did you survive all those years when you're so completely ignorant about anything?' she mocked him and grabbed the right sugar from the shelf.

'I am not completely ignorant,' he said gloomily, 'maybe just in a few areas,' he added with a half smile.

'Well, I still have to find the area you do know something about,' she smirked. She picked up the basket and glanced over the list, there were only a few items left. Next up were the eggs so she figured she could sent Sebastian by himself, because what could go wrong with picking up eggs?

'OK, you can get the eggs, I'll find the right chocolate,' she said and pointed at the right isle.

'You trust me with this?' he folded his arms and an amused grin was visible on his face.

'I think so, don't let me down!' she answered. He turned around and walked in the direction she had pointed out. Her eyes were automatically drawn to him when he strolled away and she caught herself staring at his behind again, shit. She shook her head and was angry at herself which made her almost drop the basket. Taking time to refocus she took a deep breath and checked her list again, chocolate was what she needed right now.

Standing in front of the chocolate shelf she realised that this was the only thing which was better about the Swiss supermarkets than back home, oh and of course the cheese. At home there wasn't as much good quality chocolate as there was here and she could understand now why people were crazy about chocolate here.

'Please don't laugh.'

She turned around in surprise and saw a disgruntled Sebastian standing there with several boxes of eggs, o dear.

'I found out that there are also a trillion different eggs,' he sounded agitated and was having difficulties balancing all the boxes of eggs. The top one was moving dangerously, but he didn't notice.

'Just normal sized chicken eggs, the amount was specified on the list,' she pointed at the pile of eggs, 'these are duck eggs.' She tilted her head to read the other boxes, 'these are XL eggs and these are quail eggs. I'm now starting to question if you can actually read,' she added.

'I didn't know shopping was so hard!' he exclaimed. His put on his sad face to strengthen his statement. Keira only laughed, so it didn't work. One of the boxes started to move and before he could rebalance everything the top box slid of the pile. The next moment the whole isle was covered in eggs.

'You idiot!' she yelled while jumping back. Her pants were now soaked in egg and it was not something she had particularly wanted to experience in life. She could hear Sebastian curse in German and he tried to get the other boxes into safety by putting them on the ground. His wide eyes and guilty face were enough to make her annoyance go away and she started to see the funny side of the situation.

'I'm sorry for being an idiot,' he said in a tiny voice and he tried to wipe some eggshells of his trousers. It didn't help much, because they were now stuck to his hands.

'I feel sorry for the people who have to clean this,' she grinned while putting the right box of eggs into her basket. At least he brought the right ones with him and he broke the ones they didn't need.

He turned red and looked even more guilty. 'Oh God, that's horrible. I'll tell them that I want to clean it myself,' he said sheepishly. He scratched his forehead and there were now eggshells stuck on there.

She pointed at his head. 'You've got eggshells on your forehead.'

He tried to wipe them off, but instead put even more eggshells on his face. He kept rubbing and smeared them into his hair, it only got worse when he tried to get rid of them.

She tried not to laugh and pushed his hand away. 'Here, let me help you,' she said and used her own hand to clean his face.

The moment that she touched his face it felt like an electric shock ran through her body, she shivered and her fingertips tingled. He was so close right now, they never had been this close before and she could smell his peculiar scent again. She could feel his breath on her skin and they locked eyes, his bright blue eyes this close up possessed the power to make her weak at the knees. Also too close up were his slightly parted lips, she noticed how soft they looked and her eyes lingered on his lips for longer than she had intended. Feeling a flush creeping up on her face she quickly swept off the last bits of eggshell and stepped back. Their eyes were still locked and a funny expression was visible on Sebastian's face. She averted her eyes and she was awkwardly bouncing on the balls of her feet.

He spotted her pink cheeks and the way she was dodging his eyes told him she felt somewhat uncomfortable. She had just helped him clean his face and her being so close to him had made his heart race. He wasn't used to that feeling and he was slightly taken aback by it. Her long hair had tickled the skin on his arms and her round green eyes had been focused on his forehead. Her touch had been very soft and he could still feel his skin burn were she had touched him. It confused him because he had wanted the moment to last longer, but on the other hand it felt strange to be so close to her.

'OK, let's inform someone about the mess we've made,' he smiled at her to try and break the uncomfortable silence.

'The mess you've made, you mean,' she shot back at him. Her cheeks had returned to their normal colour and she straightened her back when she picked up the basket.

'Doesn't matter, it's still a mess,' he grinned.

'If you do that in my house, you can clean it yourself. Just so you know,' she said and she ran her fingers through her hair, a sly smile included.

'OK, fair enough. I'll try to keep it clean though, I don't really like cleaning,' he said while putting back the other boxes of eggs on the shelves.

'I figured,' she sniggered.

'You think you're so clever, don't you?'

'It's just a fact, you don't have to think about it,' she laughed.

'How are you so sure?'

'How are you so sure?' she retorted the question.

It was a nice change to have someone go against him. Everybody always saw him as someone they should treat like a fragile piece of glasswork and it was annoying him massively. He liked to joke around, but people never really joked back sadly. They were too afraid to upset him and it made for a very lonely existence. The people close to him were fine of course, but it was a nice change to have someone else speak his mind about him. It made him feel more normal and everything that could make him feel that way was a welcome change. He never really understood fame, how could someone be so interested in someone they didn't even know? It was part of the job, he knew that, but if he could change that bit he would do it in a heartbeat.


	21. Cake

In the end they made it out of the supermarket with all the right ingredients for the cake. The staff hadn't been too pleased about their problems with the eggs, but after apologising profusely they had been less angry. They had been giggling like little schoolgirls when they left the shop and had discussed the matter on their way home. At the moment they were standing in the kitchen and Sebastian had just burnt the chocolate. He had been too busy eating the stuff that he was less interested in actually melting the chocolate.

'I don't think it's supposed to look like this,' he pouted. He stirred the chocolate half-heartedly and the black pieces looked like charcoal. He put a piece into his mouth and screwed up his face. 'I don't think it's supposed to taste like this either.'

Keira rolled her eyes and pulled the pot out of his hands. 'Let's start again. Let me do the chocolate this time,' she said sounding annoyed. She had foreseen this problem and therefore had bought extra of everything, she was glad that her gut feeling had not let her down.

'I think that's wise,' he said, 'but I tried, honestly!' He licked his fingers and looked at her with excitement on his face.

She grinned, she had never seen someone so happy when he just had screwed up. 'Here, you can mix the butter and the sugars,' she put the right ingredients, a bowl and the mixer in front of him. 'Do you know how to use a mixer?'

'I don't think so, but it can't be that hard, right?' he said cautiously.

'Just don't put it on the highest setting when you begin mixing. Start slowly and gradually increase the speed, that will keep the kitchen from looking like there has been an explosion,' she smirked.

'Got it,' he said and he plugged in the mixer. 'Let's make you proud!'

'You think I'll be proud of you when you mix butter and sugar?' she raised an eyebrow and her mouth twitched.

'Yes?' he said with a broad smile.

'OK then, but only because it's you,' she grinned. She kept one eye on the chocolate to make sure she didn't burn it either, because that would make her look like an idiot. The smile he had just given her made it a bit harder to concentrate, because her knees were getting weak and she couldn't stop staring at him.

'You like me?' he winked and he put his hands on his hips.

She felt her cheeks burn and quickly focused her attention on the pot. 'If I didn't like you, I would ask you why you were in my kitchen,' she replied trying to sound normal. It was time to get a grip on herself, this wasn't normal. He definitely was very handsome, but she shouldn't lose her head over him. They were friends, if she could call it that already, and that's how it was going to stay. She had promised herself no more guys after David, or at least for a couple of years.

'Fair point,' he answered. He was leaning against the kitchen counter and his muscles were visible under his shirt. He was holding the mixer in front of his face and he was studying it intently. Then he tried to turn it on and off, repeating that several times as he clearly was enjoying it.

'Are you trying to break it?' she said while watching him play with the mixer.

'Yes,' he smiled innocently, 'or is that the incorrect answer?'

'Just start already, otherwise there'll be no cake.'

'That sounds bad.'

'So it's up to you,' she grinned. His face had looked upset when she mentioned no cake, that boy clearly doesn't eat enough cake.

'Look, I'm mixing and I haven't messed up yet!' he yelled cheerfully, clearly proud of his achievements. He was focusing really hard on the simple task and his tongue stuck out a little as a sign of concentration.

'I knew you could do it, so just keep going now,' she grinned, he looked adorable right now.

'You tell me when it's done, right?' he asked hopefully.

'I'll keep a look on it, don't worry.'

'I'm so glad I don't have to do this alone, by this time my house would have burnt down,' he sighed.

She observed him out of the corner of her eye while she was preparing the cake tin. His blonde hair was sticking to his forehead and his strong arms had no problems with holding the mixer, like she always had. She had never been able to observe him like this, he would always have noticed it if she had tried. Now he was concentrating he didn't seem to notice and she found herself staring at him shamelessly.

'Shit,' she exclaimed. She hadn't been paying attention to the eggs she was cracking because Seb had just ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face. Now one egg was smashed on the counter and not neatly separated like the rest of them.

'Ha! I'm not the only one who messes up,' Sebastian said gleefully. He stopped mixing and shot her an amusing grin.

'Well, at least it's not on the ground this time,' she answered and carefully cleaned up the broken egg.

'You always see something positive in everything,' he chuckled.

'Makes life easier, it doesn't get better if you complain.'

'That's true, but I'm always quick to curse everything that's near me.'

'I've noticed,' she smirked. She secretly liked that about him and she had to admit that sometimes she tried to wind him up because of that.

'What's that supposed to mean?' he asked suspicously.

'You always curse in German when something doesn't go right.'

He grinned and shrugged his shoulders. 'I guess that's not one of my best habits.'

'I don't mind, it's kind of cute,' she answered. Oh God, why on earth did she say that, this was not something he should hear. Delete please, she thought, but she knew she couldn't turn it back. She was always perfect in making situations awkward and uncomfortable, well done to herself.

'Yeah, you think I'm cute?' he asked nonchalantly.

There was no denying it now. 'Are there people who don't think you're cute?' she retorted the question in hope of making it look like it was a casual thing.

'Probably not,' he grinned and he stroke a pose while trying to make a duck face.

'If you keep that up, then no one will think you're cute,' she said warningly while pushing the egg yolks in his direction. 'Here, mix those in,' she ordered him.

He did what she had told him to do and she whipped up the egg whites with the sugar, they were now finally making progress. She gave him the task to stir in the chocolate and then did the egg whites and flour herself. He had the honour of pouring the batter into the tin and putting it in the oven, because he had insisted that he was the best batter pourer in history of planet earth. That left them sitting at the kitchen table waiting for an hour before the cake would come out of the oven again.

'So, now we have to wait?' he asked while staring longingly at the oven. He didn't like waiting one bit, he was always a tad too impatient and he couldn't help it. He tried to make the cake bake faster with his carefully directed brainwaves, but of course that wasn't going to work. Waiting it is then and he sighed in disappointment.

'Yes, so I think we should clean up the kitchen in the meantime,' she said and she stood up again.

'You're also very organised,' he remarked. Kimi on the other hand was a slob and his room in the motor home was always a mess. He hated that, he liked everything neat and tidy, how were you supposed to find anything otherwise? Kimi didn't seem to mind at all, but he was the Iceman after all.

'I hate it when everything's a mess and I don't really mind cleaning,' she grinned and then turned around to start filling up the dishwasher.

'You're the perfect woman then,' he said with a smirk. He also stood up and picked up the dirty mugs that were still on the kitchen table.

'I wish, that would make life so much easier,' she responded and put the mugs into the dishwasher. 'Ouch,' she gasped and grabbed her chest, obviously in pain. She leaned against the kitchen counter and squeezed her eyes shut.

'What's wrong?' he asked alarmingly. She was breathing very shallowly and he could see that something was hurting her. Her face had gone pale and the bruise on her cheek was now more visible than ever. Maybe that was not the only injury she suffered from, he thought.

'Nothing,' she said with a small voice, 'just a stitch in my side.'

He could see that she was lying. 'That's not true,' he said while observing her face.

She froze on the spot. 'Excuse me?'

'You're hurt, I can see that. Broken ribs?' he asked. He had seen several rib injuries in his motor racing career, it was a common injury there. The signs she showed were definitely from some kind of rib injury and he also knew that is was damn painful.

She looked shocked and her eyes widened. 'Bruised ribs, but how do you know?' she spluttered.

'The way you acted gave it away really, I've seen this before. I'm sorry, this must be really painful.'

She sighed and sat down at the table, still massaging her chest. 'Yes, it is, but I'm not complaining or anything.'

'If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know,' he said trying to sound understanding. He felt sorry for her and also the fact that she felt the need to defend herself showed that something was wrong with her.

'No, you can't help,' she said quickly.

'Are you sure?' he raised his eyebrows, she had responded too quickly.

'Yes, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me,' she responded and she hung her head. Her breathing became more normal and she finally let go of her chest.

'What happened to you?' he asked cautiously, because he didn't want to upset her.

'Someone robbed me,' she answered while trying to sound relaxed.

She sounded rather convincing, but the fear in her eyes gave her away. 'You know that's not true.'

'Maybe it isn't, but I don't really want to talk about it,' she said timidly. She pressed her lips together and stared at her hands, which where clenched in fists.

'Why not, don't you trust me?' he asked.

'No, not really. I've only known you for like five seconds,' she suddenly looked broken again.

'But we're friends right?' he tried.

'We are?' she sounded surprised and she was chewing on her bottom lip.

'You don't want to be friends then?' he didn't know if he should feel offended or sorry for her, so he chose something in between.

She took a moment before answering and her eyes glazed over, showing she was deep in thought. Her hands were now stroking her arms, and a painful look was visible on her face.

'We don't have to be friends if you don't want to-,' he began.

She broke him off. 'Of course I want to be friends with you!' she said and it looked like she was holding back tears. Her eyes were definitely more watery than before and she tried hard to blink them away.

'Then why don't you tell me what happened to you?' he tried not to sound frustrated as he knew that it clearly was hard for her to talk about it.

She sighed and slumped back against the back of her chair. 'I can't, you'll despise me,' she said and a tear rolled down her face.

'I don't care what it is, but I'll never despise you!' he said loudly. To see her cry had shocked him, what kind of monster was he to make her cry? He stood up and he crouched beside her, trying to catch her eyes. Every now and then a tear escaped from her eyes and the look on her face broke his heart. He put a hand on her arm to comfort her, but she shrieked loudly and pulled her arm away. It was the same reaction she had had when they had been throwing pebbles at the lake. 'I'm sorry,' he said softly.

'I didn't mean to do that, you just surprised me,' she said and she gave him a weak smile.

'I'll write a note in my head, no touching,' he grinned back.

'When a car is about to run me over, you have permission to pull me away though,' she said with a small smile and with the sleeves of her shirt she started to dry her eyes.

'I'll also remember that,' he chuckled.

'I'm sorry for this, I didn't mean to cry,' she said and it was clear she wanted to sound cheerful.

'Really, I don't care. I've cried in public, so I think there's nothing wrong with crying.'

She chuckled and gazed at him in astonishment. 'You've cried in public?'

'Yes and I don't think anyone minded me crying,' he said, although he felt mortified inside. He remembered the day perfectly well, he had just won his first world championship after an intense race. He had been third in the standings and anyone expected Mark or Fernando to win it, even he himself thought he had no chance. When he had won it after all he couldn't contain his emotions, he had been crying like a baby on the podium. Standing there on the podium had made him realise what he had actually achieved and all the stress and emotions just took over. To this day it was still the best day of his life, it couldn't get any better. Maybe winning eight championships could do that, but he liked to stay realistic.

'You know, you surprise me every time,' she said and a genuine smile appeared on her face.

'Why?' he lifted an eyebrow.

'Because you're so different from any other guy I've known.'

'Is that positive?' he asked suspiciously.

She giggled. 'Yes, of course it is! I don't really like the macho men, I like my men normal and polite.'

'You do?' he asked sounding surprised. The girls he normally encountered were most definitely interested in macho men.

'Yes, I'm not cut out for all the drama that comes with a macho man,' she rolled her eyes and laughed.

'Then you're also really different from the girls I've known,' he grinned. He stood up and walked over to the kitchen counter. 'Another coffee?'

'Yes please, but don't you dare break my coffee machine!'

He winked and acted like he was throwing the coffee machine on the ground. 'Don't worry.'

'With you I _do_ worry,' she smirked.

He put his hands in the air and turned around. 'Why are we friends again?'

'Because we're not like the others?' she answered and a corner of her mouth lifted.

When they drank their coffee they discussed the people in Switzerland and how different they were from the people back home. Sebastian of course found a lot of similarities, but British people were quite different. They joked about the stupidest things their countries had came up with and discussed how much better they would do when it was them who led the country.

In the meantime the cake had came out of the oven and when it had cooled down enough Keira gave Sebastian the job to cut it and cover it in apricot jam. In the end there was as much jam on Sebastian as there was on the cake and they laughed about their inability to bake a cake together. When Keira had finally put the chocolate glaze over the cake, they high-fived each other for making it to the end. After the chocolate was set they took a picture of them together while Sebastian was holding the cake. It looked like he was holding his first born baby, so proud he was for finishing it without any casualties. They sat down to eat the cake and they both agreed that it was at least eatable.


	22. Hills

It was another glorious day and Keira felt somewhat annoyed for having to stay inside, she much preferred to be outside and go to the lake. But here she was, serving customers and cleaning tables. It was almost two o'clock, so she still had one hour left before she could go home and it felt like time was going slower than normal. This day had been one of those days you should have called in sick, because everything had gone wrong. She had served the wrong coffee to the wrong customer thrice and she had even dropped an entire cake on the ground, not good at all. Her mind had been elsewhere the whole day and it was showing in her work, to the annoyance of her colleagues.

'You're dreaming again.'

Someone had tapped her on her shoulder and she recognised Elsa's voice. 'I'm sorry!' she said quickly.

'It's not your day, is it?' Elsa grinned and she threw the cloth she had used to dry the clean mugs over her shoulder. Her blonde hair was messy and she used her now free hands to tie it up in a neat ponytail.

She sighed and sat down on one of the stools. 'I guess not, I'm sorry for being such a useless colleague today.'

'We all have our off days, I once accidentally spilled coffee on a customer, so...'

'I know, it can always be worse,' Keira chuckled. Spilling coffee on a customer was something she hadn't done yet and she intended to keep it that way. She didn't even know if Elsa was serious or was just trying to make her feel better.

'Has it something to do with the fact that your guy hasn't been in yet?' Elsa shot Keira a knowing look and winked.

'Of course not!' Keira answered defensively.

'Are you sure?' Elsa smirked and Keira's quick answer told her anything she needed to know.

'How do you even know he hasn't come in yet?' Keira had folded her arms and was eying her colleague suspiciously.

'Oh come on, we all know by now! You are all sunshine and laughs when it's almost eleven and you always take your break then to spend it with him,' Elsa said. 'We're not stupid, you know,' she added trying not to laugh at Keira's upset face.

'We're just friends,' Keira tried to reason with her colleague.

'Yeah and I'm the pope,' Elsa answered with a big grin on her face. She turned her back to Keira to help the customer that had just came in.

Well, they were just friends. Is it so bad to like hanging out with people? It was true she was always looking forward to the moment Seb would come in and they would just sit and talk, but that didn't mean it was because of Seb. Just having someone to talk to and spend time with was something that made her feel normal. Now Abby and Tom were so far away she didn't have the luxury to visit them whenever she wanted. Talking on the phone was nice, but she missed spending time with them. That's why she was thankful to have Sebastian now, he filled in those gaps perfectly and he was actually really funny. He had a lot of stories about his friends and himself and they had no problems of running out of things to talk about, even boring subjects like politics he could make enjoyable to discuss. It was true though that he hadn't came in today and she didn't know why. He hadn't said anything yesterday and she kind of felt let down. She knew she was kidding herself, because he had no obligations whatsoever to come in at all. It's just that she had been looking forward to it and she was curious why he hadn't showed up. Had something happened to him or was he busy doing things elsewhere? She sighed and washed her hands, no it definitely wasn't him who made her so clumsy today. With that thought she went to help Elsa with the waiting customers, but she caught herself eyeing the clock every five minutes.

'One Americano, please,' he said while watching the girl behind the counter topping up the muffins. She was quick and accurate and it was just like he was watching himself. He tried to fix his messy hair and smiled when Keira turned around and spotted him.

'Hey, you're here!' she said in surprise and she accidentally dropped one of the muffins she was holding.

Yes,' he answered. He could see Keira's blonde colleague shaking her head and giving her a wink. There was clearly an inside joke going on here and he could see Keira's cheeks turning pink. It looked rather cute, he thought while trying to find his wallet.

When she had picked up the muffin she quickly made sure the other ones were safe. 'You weren't here this morning?' she said while shoving the muffins unceremoniously in their basket.

'Something came up, so I wasn't able to make it,' he said with a sorry look on his face. Christian had called him this morning and there were some things he had wanted to discuss. He had to reshuffle a few sponsor events and he had wanted to make sure he was able to attend them. This wasn't the first time for stuff like this to happen, there was always a lot of reshuffling going on. If it wasn't at the racetrack, it would be with the sponsors or in the factory. He envied Christian for keeping track of it all and still making sure the team ran like clockwork.

'Ah, that explains it,' she said and her eyes looked a little bit lighter. Also the corners of her mouth had lifted slightly and she dodged an attempt of her blonde colleague to poke her.

'So, are you going to make me a coffee any time soon?' he smirked and he pointed at the coffee machine.

'You're always so impatient,' she grinned, but she had already grabbed an empty mug.

'And you're always so slow,' he shot back but he made sure to give her a slight smile. He was not always impatient, maybe a little, but not always.

'You're lucky I only have five minutes left, otherwise I would have taken fifteen minutes to get you your coffee.'

He raised an eyebrow and caught her eyes. 'You're almost done?'

'Yes, you're my last customer today, so I hope you feel special now,' she grinned.

'You always make me feel special!' he exclaimed. He felt his cheeks burn a little, but he hoped it wasn't visible for anyone else. He could hear the blonde colleague sigh in exasperation and she giggled when she whispered something in the ear of the guy who was filling up the coffee beans. They both were giggling now and they made Keira clearly feeling uncomfortable. He didn't get the joke, so he was staring from her to her colleagues and back again with a questioning look on his face.

'Don't mind them, they have been kept inside for too long. That makes people mental,' she said while giving them a deadly glare.

'So, I was going for a walk in a bit,' he started and he wasn't sure exactly why he was saying that. 'Do you want to join me?' he asked before he could decide not to.

She looked up from the coffee machine and blinked. 'OK, I guess,' she answered and she nervously tugged on the sleeves of her shirt.

'You don't have to if you don't want to,' he added, because she didn't look so sure.

'I want to,' she quickly responded, 'I mean it sounds fun, I love walking around here.'

'OK, I'll wait here until you're done,' he said while pointing at one of the comfy chairs.

'I'll make sure to be quick,' she smiled.

'You can go right now, if you want,' said the blonde girl with a funny expression on her face. She pushed Keira towards the backroom to indicate that she meant what she had said. Her eyes locked with the ones of the brown haired colleague and they both chuckled.

\----------

'Wait up! I can't go any faster,' panted Keira. They were walking up a hill and Seb looked like he was some kind of professional athlete, not a single drop of sweat was visible on his face. She on the other hand was almost dying and her legs felt like jelly.

'You can't be tired already?' he shouted back from a bit further up the hill. He had stopped walking and was now waiting for Keira to catch up.

'I'm sorry that I'm not a Duracell bunny,' she yelled and then put all her effort into closing the distance between her and Seb.

'Those ears and tail would look good on you,' he grinned and he put his arms behind his head to indicate bunny ears.

'You're so funny, I can't stop laughing,' she said with a straight face.

'Oh come on, can't you just pretend I'm funny?' he pouted.

'Not when I'm climbing up a hill and almost die in the process.'

'It's a very small hill, you can't die here.'

'Watch me,' she bit back and grabbed her side. 'I've got bruised ribs, remember?'

'Nah, let's not die today, save that for some other time,' he grinned and held out his hand. 'I'll drag you up this hill, don't worry.'

She looked at his held out hand and was hesitant to grab hold of it. Being uncomfortable with having to touch someone was holding her back, but the fact he could help her end this torture made her wanting to accept his offer.

'I won't bite, I promise,' he said after he had seen the look of doubt on her face.

She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. 'Are you really, really sure of that?'

'Yes, I promise,' his mouth twitched when he said that and his blue eyes sparkled innocently.

'Alright then,' she sighed and grabbed his hand. She could feel the warmth of his skin and it felt like fire was spreading through her body. His hand was soft, but his grip was firm, just like she had imagined it to be. She realised she was holding her breath and she could see he had noticed that.

'You alright?' he asked and concern was visible on his face.

'Yes, don't worry. Let's climb this hill!' she pulled on his hand and tried to signal to her legs that they had to keep going. It was torture, but in some way also very enjoyable. Seb had brought her to places she had never been before and the surroundings were stunning. He also clearly enjoyed the walk and she found herself more often than not walking behind him. It gave her an opportunity to look at him and she didn't mind one bit what she was seeing.

'We're almost at the top, so hang on,' he tried to encourage her. His strong arms were able to drag Keira up the hill and this time a few drops of sweat were visible on his face. He was also panting when they reached the top.

She felt her jaw drop when she looked around her, it was beautiful. The valley they had came from was illuminated by the sun and it looked like a scene from a film. It wouldn't take much to get her spinning around with her arms in the air and singing something about hills being alive with the sound of music.

'Was the climb worth it?' Seb glanced sideways and a satisfactory smile was playing on his lips.

'Yes,' she gasped, 'it's the best view I've ever seen.'

'I thought you would like it,' he nodded appreciatively.

'You were right, thank you for showing me this.'

'It was my pleasure.'

They sat down on the bench that was positioned next to the path. Seb grabbed a bottle of water from his bag and passed it to Keira. 'Here, drink,' he added.

'Thanks,' she said with a grateful smile. She grabbed the bottle and took a large sip, this was exactly what she needed at the moment. The cold of the water cleared her mind and she could feel her heartbeat slowing down again. 

'I'm always prepared,' he said while taking a sip himself.

'I've noticed. How come you're so athletic?' she asked while lifting an eyebrow. This was something she didn't understand, how was it possible to climb this hill like it was nothing? The only time he seemed to have to make an effort was when he had to drag her along. She could see him frowning and his eyes glazed over. He made a nervous impression and his hands were playing with the zipper of his bag.

'I like to work out, keeps you healthy you know?' he said with a nervous grin and it was obvious that he was avoiding Keira's eyes.

'I guess,' she answered. She had the feeling that he was not telling her something and that made her worry. Did he not trust her or was he ashamed of something? It hurt a little to know that he felt the need to keep this from her, but a small voice in her head told her that she was being a hypocrite. She herself had chosen to keep her story from him, but in her case it was about keeping David out of trouble. Was it the same for him or didn't he trust her after all?

'Let's enjoy the view,' his voice sounded afflicted. His eyes had darkened a bit and the frown was still visible.

'Yeah,' she answered not really knowing what else to say.

They sat in silence for a while, the sun was still shining but the temperatures became more pleasant over time. The miniature cars that were visible in the valley showed that life never stopped, even when you tried to hide from it. The sound of wind touching the trees was the only thing that broke the silence and time passed without them even noticing it. Then suddenly another sound was audible and they both looked up. Keira's stomach rumbled again and she looked mortified. 

'You're hungry,' he said. It was not a question, but a confirmation of what they both already knew.

'I haven't eaten much today,' she admitted. She had forgotten to eat lunch, because of the chaotic day she had gotten herself into. Normally she took better care of herself, but somehow her body had forgotten to give her the signals to eat.

'Proper nutrition is very important,' he said sternly, but a small smile played on his lips.

'Yes father,' she grinned.

He glanced at his watch. 'It's almost time for dinner, we've been here longer than I thought.'

'That's what this magical place does to you,' she said in a dreamy voice.

'We can go grab dinner somewhere in town if you want?' he asked her.

She blinked and was almost certain she had misunderstood the question. 'What?'

'Dinner, you and me, what do you say?' he repeated his question while leaning back against the bench. He put his arms behind his head and stretched his back so that his shirt rode up exposing his toned abdomen.

She forgot what the question was and her eyes were fixed on the small bit of exposed skin. She had envisioned how his body must look underneath that shirt, but to actually see it showed her that it was even more toned than she had expected. She couldn't tear her eyes away and she felt her stomach lurch a little.

'So?' he had noticed her staring and when he sat up again his shirt returned to its original position.

She swallowed and felt slightly disappointed when he had sat up again. 'What was the question again?'

'Your thoughts are clearly elsewhere,' he grinned and he gave her a wink, 'but what I asked was if you would like to grab dinner somewhere.'

This time she understood the question and she was sure that it was really what he had meant to say. 'OK, but where do we go? I have never been out to eat here before,' she said hesitantly.

'Really? You've missed out then,' he replied.

'If you say so.'

'I'll show you one of my favourite places then, come on,' he stood up and gestured Keira to follow him.

She was glad that they only had to go back down again, that was a lot easier than climbing. This time it was easier to keep up with Seb and her feet didn't hurt as much. Seb was busy on his phone, he was furiously typing and he almost tripped over a stone. Trying to direct him in the right direction she observed his facial expressions. It went from exasperation to anger and from confusion to frustration. She didn't understand what was going on and found it wise not to investigate. After a few minutes he shoved his phone firmly into his pocket and when he looked at her he smiled again. Her knees wobbled a bit, but she wasn't sure if that was because of exhaustion or the way Seb had just smiled at her.


	23. Food

They were sitting at a small table in the corner of the restaurant. The other tables were packed and it was clear that the place was very popular by the locals. The smell of cheese was making her mouth water and she could see the impatient look in Seb's eyes. He clearly was also very hungry and was staring hopefully at all the plates that were coming out of the kitchen.

'So, what exactly are we going to eat?' she asked him. He had ordered for her because he wanted her to experience the traditional Raclette, whatever that was supposed to be.

'Just wait. It's cheese, what can go wrong?' he grinned and took a sip of his wine.

'You're right, but why was I only allowed to order white wine? I'm thirsty.'

'Well, the tradition is to drink white wine when you eat raclette. The story is that when you eat cheese and you drink water, the cheese will harden inside your stomach and therefore cause you a lot of pain.'

She raised an eyebrow and looked at her wine. 'That sounds like bullshit,' she admitted.

'I don't know. It's just how the Swiss see it and you know, they're very traditional,' he gave her a serious look.

'I've noticed,' she grinned. The restaurant was also decorated in the traditional Swiss style and the staff were wearing clothes that would have been in fashion a decade ago.

'But this place is already very modern,' he gestured towards the grill that was standing on the table.

'In what way?' she sounded surprised. She couldn't think of anything that would classify as modern in this room.

He tried not to laugh and his eyes glimmered in delight. 'I can see you confusion, but believe me. Here we can melt our own cheese using this grill, instead of shoving a wheel of cheese inside the fire and scraping off the melted cheese.'

'Groundbreaking stuff.'

'Well, progress needs to start somewhere,' he admitted and he gave her a lopsided grin.

'I agree, you can't rush things. For example, it was only in 1991 that all the Swiss women were allowed to vote,' she rolled her eyes and pressed her lips together. It was incredulous to think she had already been born before this country entered the 20th century, when the others were approaching the 21st.

'You're joking, right?' he sounded unconvinced.

'Nope, not at all. Look up Apperzell Innerrhoden and you'll find that a bunch of white privileged men were being idiots,' she said.

'Aren't we still?' he grinned and the corners of his eyes crinkled. 

'Oh look, food!' she exclaimed when she spotted the waiter coming over to their table.

Their table was being loaded with cheese, boiled potatoes, pickled onions, Gherkins and dried meat. It smelled heavenly and they couldn't wait to tuck in. Seb showed Keira how to use the grill and how to smother the potatoes in cheese. When the cheese was browned they could finally start eating and a silence fell over their table as they were both too busy stuffing their faces. The walk had left them hungry and the food was too good to slow down.

'It's really good,' she said when she had finished her first portion.

He swallowed his last piece of potato and put his fork down. 'I told you so, I would never take you somewhere were the food isn't excellent,' he said happily.

'I could eat this every day.'

'You'll get fat in a week,' he chuckled and he pushed out his stomach to show how that would look like.

Trying not to laugh she picked up her glass of wine. 'You look pregnant,' she said and tried her hardest not to spit out the wine.

'Well, you hear something new every day.'

'I'm glad I could help,' she smirked. He rolled his eyes at her and she blew him a kiss in reply.

Their attention was then drawn towards the table next to them, where four girls just had sat down. They were very loud and one of them almost swung her bag against Keira's head, not very nice she thought. They were discussing something insignificant but when one of them spotted Keira and Seb the girl's eyes widened. It was very strange and she checked herself to find out if something was weird about her appearance, but she found nothing. She could see the girl nudge her friends and now they all stared at them. They broke out in a giggle and whispered something in each other's ears. They eyed Seb with the greatest interest and they were now frantically batting their eyelashes in his direction.

'I think you grabbed their attention,' she said nonchalantly and she nodded her head in the direction of the girls.

He looked uncomfortable and plastered a smile on his face. 'I think they forgot their glasses,' he grinned.

She tried to sound not too annoyed when she answered. 'Don't be stupid.'

'Why?'

'Because you know perfectly well that you're good looking, don't try to pretend you don't know that.'

'I know I'm not ugly, if that's what you mean, but I'm nothing more than average,' he replied shrugging his shoulders.

She sighed and threw her head back to not have to look at him. 'You look good, accept it and go on with your life,' she said with a slightly higher voice than normal.

'If you say so,' he answered but he was still not convinced. He grabbed the potatoes to make himself more dinner and he focused on the food, fixating his eyes on the cheese.

The girls were still whispering amongst them and once every minute they shot their sweetest smile at Seb, clearly in the hope that he would notice them. He clearly tried his hardest to ignore the girls and she was glad that he did. It showed her that he was not one of those guys who grabbed every opportunity to flirt with girls and that he actually was kind of decent. The girls didn't seem to like it and their attempts became more extravagant, like dropping their forks next to their table. When they bent down to pick them up, they swept their hair back dramatically and almost put their cleavage in Seb's face. She was shocked by these blatant attempts to get his attention and she didn't understand why they would go this far for someone they didn't know. She would admit that he was incredibly good looking, but it was clear that he wasn't interested. Something didn't add up, but she couldn't exactly put a finger on it.

'Excuse me, but I have to go to the bathroom,' he said when he finished his food again and for the first time this evening there wasn't a smile visible on his face. He pushed his chair back and threw his napkin on the table.

She nodded and her eyes followed him when he walked away. He looked flustered and he didn't seem like himself at all. She could hear another chair being pushed back and saw the blonde girl standing up and giggling when her friends told her something. She quickly followed Seb and just before he could leave the room she caught up with him. Keira could see her tap him on his shoulder and he turned around, clearly agitated. She didn't seem to mind and was batting her lashes and pouted her lips. She also played with her hair and was leaning towards him, to get his attention. When the girl said something she could see him quickly turning her down and leaving to room to find the bathroom. The girl clearly felt outraged as she returned to her friends with an angry look on her face.

'He was so rude,' she said very loudly.

More of the conversation she couldn't hear, because the girl had sat down again and there was no more reason to raise her voice. The other girls had also narrowed their eyes and they clearly weren't happy with the way Seb had treated their friend. She tried her best not to laugh and she thought it was exactly what they had deserved. When they spoke about being rude, they had to look at themselves first.

Across the restaurant Seb was leaning against the wall in the empty corridor. He had just escaped the blonde girl and was now taking a moment to get his composure back. The way they always threw themselves at him was disgusting and he had never liked it. He hated the fact that girls presented themselves as lust objects instead of trying to get someone's attention by just being themselves. He had been very afraid that they would say something to him in front of Keira, then he would have been forced to explain to her why they were coming after him. He knew it was risky being in public, but normally this town left him alone. Most of them didn't even know who he was and others knew he liked his privacy. It was the reason why he had moved here, to lead some kind of normal life for as long as that was possible. These girls had almost ruined it and he didn't regret being rude to the girl. They were only after his money or his fame, so they couldn't have much brain capacity anyway.

He felt that his hands were sweating and he wiped them dry on his trousers. Banging his head against the wall was a last attempt to get rid of his frustration and he gritted his teeth in pain, sometimes he wished he had just chosen a normal job. He knew he had to go back inside, because he couldn't let Keira sit next to these witches alone, but he really didn't want to. He took a deep breath and fixed his hair, making sure to look normal when he entered the restaurant again.

'Want more wine?' Keira shot him a sympathetic look and had read his face correctly. She was holding the bottle and pointed at his glass.

'Yes please,' he sighed when he sat down. 'I also wouldn't say no to some vodka,' he added with a grin. Kimi always knew how to make him feel better, just open a bottle of vodka and all your problems would disappear. Funnily enough it was always true or at least it was for Kimi. When he woke up in the morning all of his problems always came back and they were always worse because he would be severely hung over.

'I didn't take you for a heavy drinker,' she said in surprise. The bottle of wine was now almost empty as she had filled up their glasses.

'Only when there's a special occasion,' he said with a wink.

'Being attacked by random girls is a special occasion to you?'

'I forgot to add I also drink when I feel sorry for myself,' he chuckled and raised his glass. 'Cheers,' he added.

'That's actually not a bad idea, next time you can share with me,' she said nonchalantly, but her cheeks were definitely pinker than before.

'Drinking together is always better than drinking alone.'

'You normally drink alone?' she had raised her eyebrows in surprise.

'No, normally I drink together with my best friend. I only lose out badly each time, because I swear he drinks vodka like water,' he shook his head in disgruntlement.

'That doesn't sound normal,' she laughed.

'I think it's because he's Finnish,' he said slowly thinking about all the Fins he knew. They all were insensitive to high alcohol consumption and high temperatures in the sauna.

She grinned and her eyes twinkled. 'I don't know many Fins, but the ones I know do fit that description.'

'You know Fins?' he asked with interest.

'Not really, only from TV. When I was younger I used to watch Formula 1 with my father and there was this funny Fin, they call him the Iceman or something and he fits your description of Fins perfectly,' she said in an amused tone.

He felt the air escaping from his lungs and the colour draining from his face. This wasn't possible, he had been sure she didn't know anything about motorsports or Formula 1 in particular. Now he found out she knew about Kimi and he had carelessly told her many stories about him, because he had thought it wouldn't hurt. What if she had known one of those stories and had found out he was keeping this big part of his life from her? It was stupid enough to not have told her when she had asked in the first place, but it was also increasingly becoming difficult to tell her now.

'Earth to you,' Keira said while waving her hands in front of Seb's face.

'Huh?' he said sounding confused, it was clear that he had spaced out for a moment.

'Am I that dull to listen to?' she laughed and leaned back against her chair.

'No, definitely not,' he said with a guilty look on his face and he felt a light blush creeping up on his cheeks. Keira had noticed, but sadly the girls at the table next to them had spotted it too and they seemed to have forgotten that they were angry at him. He shot them a deadly glare and hoped they would leave him alone. He refocused his attention on Keira and they quickly ended up in conversation again. The rest of the evening was very enjoyable, he couldn't remember having a nice evening like this in a long time. It made him relax more than he normally could and his smile never left his face.

\---------

They were walking through the streets and it had definitely cooled down a lot, the cold breeze made Keira shiver.

'Are you cold?' Sebastian asked her sounding concerned.

'Just a bit,' she answered. 'I am wearing long sleeves, so it isn't that bad,' she said while pointing at her arms. She still didn't dare to wear anything different, because not all the bruises were healed yet. They finally started to fade, but the evidence was still very significant and she didn't want Seb to know how bad it had been.

'You can have my hoodie?' he said and he stopped walking to pull said hoodie out of his bag.

'You don't mind?' she asked, because he also looked quite cold.

'Of course not, otherwise I wouldn't have offered it to you,' he grinned.

'Then you wouldn't have been a real gentlemen, they always offer their stuff even when they need it themselves,' she said and she stuck her tongue out at him.

He scratched his head and he bit his lip. 'There's always room for improvement,' he said innocently. 'Here, take it,' he pushed the hoodie into Keira's hands.

'Thanks,' she accepted it gratefully. She was actually colder than she had admitted and she pulled the hoodie over her head. The now familiar scent of mint and petrol was stronger than the times she had been close to Sebastian and it made her head spin. It felt like Seb had wrapped his arms around her, so close did she feel to him at the moment and to her surprise it didn't feel suffocating at all. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, filling her brain with Seb's scent and cherishing the moment. Slightly disappointed she pushed her head through the right hole and wiggled her arms in the sleeves.

'Looks good on you,' he winked while checking her out.

She felt blood rush to her cheeks and she stared awkwardly at her feet. When she did that she spotted a logo on the hoodie, it was the Red Bull logo. 'Why do you have a Red Bull hoodie?' she asked sounding puzzled.

His mouth snapped shut and his eyes panicked. 'I just liked it, I guess? I don't know really,' he answered casually.

'I like it too,' she smiled at him and she could see his expression soften.

'Come on, let's go. I promised you to walk you home and I would like to be in bed before it starts snowing or something.'

'You're such a drama queen,' she grinned and she tried to push him.

'Why do people always say that?' he pouted.

'Other people call you that too?' she grinned and imagined him being a diva.

'I shouldn't have said that,' he sounded exasperated and he ran his fingers through his hair.

She spotted his shirt had rode up again when he had raised his arm and she couldn't help herself imagining what the rest would look like underneath that shirt. Why he had this effect on her she didn't know, but it made her feel like a teenager again and she didn't know if that was pleasant or not. She was glad when they reached her house and she could say goodbye to Seb. He thanked her for the evening and she did too.

'I'll see you soon,' he said while nervously putting his hands into his pockets.

'I'm looking forward to it,' she smiled shyly.

'OK, I'm going then,' he said and he gave her his brightest smile.

'Bye then,' she answered a bit out of breath. She grabbed the doorpost to make sure she would stay on her feet, he should stop smiling like that. Her eyes followed him walking away and watched him turn around to wave when he crossed the road.

She closed the door and leaned back against it while closing her eyes in the process. This evening had been fun and she couldn't stop thinking about his smile. Damn Seb, why did he have to be so gorgeous? A wave of mint and petrol filled her nostrils and she realised she was still wearing his hoodie. It was too late now to go after him and something inside her head told her that she didn't want to give it back. She sniffed the fabric again and flopped down on the sofa a few moments later, nestling herself in the cushions and turning on the TV.


	24. Lies

Life felt as normal as it could be albeit the circumstances. It was as if the last year never happened and she woke up excited to start the day every morning. If this was everything life had to offer to her, she was totally OK with that. Although she missed having someone around the house and therefore she seriously considered to get a pet. She loved having Molly around when she had stayed here with her parents and could imagine herself sitting on the sofa with a little puppy on her lap. She pulled her knees up to her chest and took a small sip of her hot chocolate. It was a typical lazy Sunday and she had made herself comfortable on the sofa. It was one of her favourite places to spend her time, because it provided the best view in the house. The green hills were reflecting summer when she looked out the window and the mountains with eternal snow provided a beautiful contrast.

Sunday was the only day she hadn't go to work and she had grabbed that opportunity to spend the whole morning on the sofa reading a book. Normally she would've hung out with Seb, but he had been away for a few days. He had told her it was work related and that he would be back on Monday again. She had understood that he had to go, but it had been very lonely these last few days. She had missed him coming in for coffee and she had to spend her breaks alone, while her colleagues were teasing her about missing Seb. With a sigh she threw the book she was reading across the room, frustrated with the fact that her colleagues were kind of right. She felt rather lost without Seb and had became rather dependent on him during these past weeks. Not that she wanted to admit that, but they had somehow fallen into a routine and seeing him was the highlight of her day.

She had laid on the sofa thinking for a long time and when she checked her watch it was already past two. Having to decide if she wanted to stay laying comfortably on the sofa or giving in to her rumbling stomach she closed her eyes. She was too lazy to stand up, but eating was kind of necessary. In the end she got herself off the sofa and made herself a sandwich, she didn't have the energy to make something spectacular today. When she flopped back down on the sofa she switched on the TV. A German speaking woman was trying to sell her cleaning supplies, not needing any she switched the channel. After flicking through several channels she ended up hearing a familiar sound. When she investigated why she had been drawn to this sound, she recognised the Formula 1 cars on the TV. It had been a long time ago since she last watched a race and a lot of memories instantly came back to her.

The nostalgic feeling was increasing when she spotted drivers like Räikkönen, Button, Massa, Webber and Schumacher. She was sure Schumacher had retired, but apparently he had came back to drive a Mercedes and she could see he hadn't lost any of his race craft. Button was leading the race, but Schumacher was battling a guy named Vettel in a Red Bull for second place. She recognised the name, but she couldn't put a face with it, he must be one of the younger guys she thought. It was and enjoyable battle to watch and she felt herself holding her breath when it looked like they would crash, but Schumacher pitted and Vettel carried on. Clued to the TV she remembered why she had loved the sport for so long and it was stupid that she had given up watching the races. Life had been so busy and there had been so many changes that she hadn't had the energy to keep up with everything.

What she could understand from the commentary was that there had been an enormous crash at the start and that a driver named Grosjean had almost decapitated Alonso and had also taken out Hamilton in the process. She also learned that Vettel was the current WDC, Button was heading to his second win of the season and Alonso was leading the championship by a large margin. Seeing the cars racing at this historic circuit made her fall in love with the sport all over again, Spa had always been one of her favourite races. She had always supported Räikkönen and therefore she followed this battle between Schumacher and him with great interest, he was named the King of Spa for a reason after all. Seeing these two still swap positions after all those years made her feel like nothing had changed, only the colours of their cars. She cheered Räikkönen on when he finally made his move stick and noticed she had been biting her nails out of nervousness. The rest of the race her heart kept pounding and she hoped nothing would fail on his car, she only felt herself relax again when they all crossed the finish line.

Her mouth had gone dry and she used the time before the podium ceremony to get herself something to drink. After a few minutes she sat back down and wrapped her hands around the warm cup of tea, resting her arms on one of the cushions. Her timing had been perfect she noticed because they were just about to start the ceremony. Seeing the podium reminded her of Ferrari's glory days and how the German anthem followed by the Italian one had turned into the official Formula 1 anthem. They announced the third place driver and Kimi walked out on the podium, his face blank as usual and no emotion was visible. She grinned, he hadn't changed at all. Then they announced the second place driver and her heart stopped at once.

She felt the air escape from her lungs and the cup of tea slipped out of her hands. The hot tea spilled on the floor, but she had only eyes for the TV. This couldn't be, she was hallucinating, she must have been hallucinating. She could recognise those blue eyes everywhere, no other eyes could capture here attention like this. Even his blonde hair, although messed up from wearing a helmet, was somehow very familiar. This wasn't a dream, this was actually real life and she was really watching Sebastian stand on the podium. He looked different wearing a Red Bull suit and the determined look in his eyes showed a whole different side of him. Her head was spinning and she only took in half of what was said on TV, she only had eyes for Sebastian. His smile was the same as the one she knew and the way he was joking on the podium showed her that it really was Seb and not someone who looked like him.

What was going on here, why hadn't he said anything about this? They knew each other long enough she thought and she couldn't understand why he would keep this significant part of his life from her. Maybe he didn't trust her or maybe he didn't want to be associated with her, it was all possible. She suddenly felt nauseous and her stomach tightened, this was not happening to her. Just as she had started to trust someone again, life had intervened to mess it all up. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the guy she had spent so many hours with for the past few weeks and his voice with that slight German accent made her hands shake. The strangest thing was that her past collided with the present when she saw Seb and Kimi laughing together, even stranger was it to see that someone  apparently was able to melt the Iceman.

She stood up and her feet immediately got wet, only because of this she noticed that she had dropped her tea. She couldn't remember doing it and cursed herself for spilling it and was glad to notice the mug at least wasn't broken. Despite how ill she was feeling she went to the kitchen to get something to clean up the mess. When she knelt down with a cloth in her hand she could see tears falling to the floor, they were her own. She didn't know when she had started crying and she hadn't even been aware of it. Long after the tea had been cleaned  up she kept wiping the floor, even when her arm had gone numb she kept rubbing the floor. Anger fed her desire to keep going and she only stopped when all her energy had gone. She leaned back against the sofa, trying to get her head around everything. She couldn't get the image of Seb holding his trophy out of her head and besides feeling kind of proud she mostly felt anger. Anger directed at Seb, but she was also angry with herself, for not following her own advice. She had promised herself not to get attached to someone again, because after David she had endured enough pain in her life. Fear was starting to set in again, afraid of what was coming next.

She put her head in her hands and pulled on her hair, trying to feel something different than this sick feeling in her stomach. The TV was still on and of course they were interviewing Seb at the moment, he was smiling broadly and it felt like a punch to the face. Not wanting to get up to get the remote she kept watching and hearing his voice calmed her down somewhat. His voice always had a suiting effect on her, even if she didn't want it to, like now. She wanted to hate everything about him, but she couldn't forget all the good things about him. Not that she still trusted him, but the attraction she felt towards him was still there. His eyes were as mesmerising as ever and she couldn't unglue herself from them. It was so strange to see him on the screen and the fact that he was a double world champion was a fact she couldn't get her head around. He was on a par with Alonso and she could remember him winning his two championships, joining the legends. Now they were both fighting for their third one and although Fernando had the upper hand, she knew that Seb wouldn't make it easy for him. It was weird to think about Seb in the same lines as Alonso and Räikkönen, because they were supposed to be two different worlds and now they weren't.

After laying on the sofa for what felt like hours she checked her watch, it was already past seven. Not feeling hungry yet she decided to call Abby, she needed someone to talk to and she thought Tom would die of excitement in the process. She put a hand on her forehead and chewed on her bottom lip, trying to figure out what to exactly tell Abby. With a sigh she dialled her number and waited for her to pick up.

'Keira!' a voice yelled.

She quickly held the phone further away from her ear, because she didn't want to be deaf yet. 'Hey Abbs,' she said trying to sound cheerful.

'What's wrong?' Abby asked, obviously not fooled by Keira.

'Everything,' she sighed and she adjusted the blanket that was keeping her warm.

A short silence followed before Abby answered, 'Sebastian?'

'Yes,' she sighed.

'Why, what happened?' Abby's voice sounded concerned.

'It's not like that,' she reassured her best friend, 'he's nothing like David.'

'Thank God, I was getting worried,' Abby gasped in relief.

Keira grinned and it was her first smile in hours. 'I'm not that stupid to let that happen to me twice,' she replied.

'I'm still worried though.'

'You don't have to, I can guarantee Seb is the nicest guy you'll ever meet!'

'So, what's the problem then?' said Abby not understanding the situation.

'Well, are you sitting down?' she grinned and she was envisioning Abby's face when she had finally told her.

'Keir, what's up? You're making me nervous,' her voice really did sound nervous. 'You aren't pregnant, are you?'

Keira burst out laughing and she almost fell off the sofa. 'Are you serious? I always made sure David wouldn't be able to get me pregnant,' she said indignantly.

'I didn't mean David...,' a chuckle came from the other side of the line.

Throwing a cushion at Abby's face was unfortunately not a possibility right now, so Keira just groaned. 'Seb and I are just friends as I have told you a thousand times already. Also I'm not ready to get that close to someone again just yet,' she said with a sigh.

'Well, you're always telling me how good looking he is. I wouldn't be surprised if something had happened between you,' Abby said gleefully. 'I mean, you deserve someone who makes you happy and treats you well,' she added.

'He is really good looking, I can't deny that. Just wait until you see him smile and you'll understand what I mean. However, we're really just friends,' she tried to convince her best friend.

'If you say you're just friends, then I believe you. I know he's cute, that photo you send me of you baking that cake was really adorable. I wish I could get guys looking like that!'

'You can get any guy you like, so also the good looking ones,' Keira shook her head in annoyance.

'You're right, I really am a slut I guess,' Abby didn't sound disappointed at all and a muffled giggle was audible.

'As long as you're happy,' Keira grinned and that was true. If this was what made her happy, then why the hell not? As long as she didn't start to ask money  for it, then she would have to lock her up.

'Alright, we're not talking about me. Now tell me what's wrong with Sebastian,' Abby said in a stern voice.

Keira bit her lip and a rush of nerves spread through her body. 'You know Formula 1, right?'

'Yes, of course. Tom can't stop talking about it since the British GP at Silverstone, I think I can describe by the minute what he has done that weekend.'

'So you know the key players in Formula 1?' Keira asked tentatively.

'Hm, of course I know the British ones. They are Hamilton and Button, right? Tom would kill me if I get these wrong. Then there's Alonso, Massa, Webber, Vettel and Räikkönen I think they're called, why?' she sounded confused by the odd question.

'Tom really taught you well,' she grinned. Tom was a complete nerd when it came to motorsports and since he now worked in that field he wanted everyone to know about it.

'You know Tom, I had no choice!' Abby exclaimed. 'But what has this do with it all?' she asked puzzled.

Keira took a deep breath before answering. 'What if I tell you that Sebastian and Vettel are the same person?' she said quickly almost tripping over her words.

'I don't under-,' Abby began. 'Wait, what?!' she yelled through the phone.

'That was also my reaction when I found out,' Keira answered. She kicked her feet against one of the cushions and it fell off the sofa.

'How?! I don't understand!' Abby was still yelling.

'I don't either, he never told me,' Keira gasped in exasperation and she felt anger starting to rise again.

'What do you mean he never told you? How did you find out?'

'I was flicking through the channels today and the race came up. When they did the trophy ceremony there he was, on the second step of the podium,' Keira said with a torn voice.

'No way! I can't believe he didn't tell you!'

'Me neither,' Keira grumbled. 'I mean, he's the current world champion. Not forgetting that he is a double world champion already.'

Abby gasped and was clearly lost for words. 'He's famous, Keir.'

'Yes, I do understand that fact,' she shot back. This wasn't funny and she still couldn't grasp the whole situation.

'What are you going to tell him?'

'Nothing, I really don't want to talk to him. I can't trust him anymore.'

'I agree, why would he keep this from you?' Abby asked indignantly.

Keira sighed and rolled over on the sofa. 'I don't know, that's why I'm so angry. He never saw me as a real friend apparently.'

'Then he's stupid if that's the case.'

'I don't care anymore, I just want to forget about him and go home.'

'Good girl, that's the spirit. Have you found something to live already?' Abby sounded interested.

'A few I'm interested in, so I have to decide in the near future. I can't stay here forever,' Keira said sounding determined. She had to make a choice at some point, so better start sooner than later.

'Oh, by the way, don't tell Tom!' Abby suddenly sounded alarmed, 'because he would show up at your doorstep the next day to kidnap Sebastian.'

Keira grinned, poor Tom. Not that Abby was wrong, so she decided not to tell Tom for now. 'Thanks for the warning,' she chuckled.

'But I have to go now, I can smell something burning. I think it's my lasagne,' Abby said sounding worried.

'Can't be good if that's the case. Bon appetite then and I'll speak to you soon.'

'Take care and don't worry too much about Seb, everything will work out in the end. I promise!'

'If you say so,  but I'll try. Don't worry,' she said trying to reassure Abby.

'Love you!'

'I love you too.'

She heard a click and Abby had hung up the phone, leaving her alone again.


	25. Hiding

Normally he would use Mondays after a race weekend to sleep in and do practically nothing all day. However he was looking forward to seeing Keira again and that's why he was already dressed and outside. The race weekend had been very positive after all, qualifying tenth of course wasn't what he had wanted, but to turn that into a solid second place was an excellent comeback. If only Jenson hadn't been that far up the road already, he would've loved to battle with him for the victory. At least Fernando didn't score any points, so he closed the gap in the championship by eighteen points, not a bad effort at all. Of course he would've liked to score those points on merit, Fernando almost dying hadn't been in his script, but points were points in the end. It had also ignited the team again to believe that the WDC was still possible for one of their drivers and therefore it had been a very positive garage he had left on Sunday night. He would like to prove everyone wrong and show them that he was going to get his third championship this year. It was a very steep hill still to climb, but he was absolutely sure that he could do it. When he had spoken to Christian he had said exactly the same thing, just keep doing what you're doing and the team would make sure to provide him with the best car possible. He smiled and zipped open the jacket he was wearing. The sun had came out and it had warmed up pretty quickly.

The cafe was already quite busy, although he was an hour earlier than normal. He pushed open the door and made his way to his table by the window, luckily it was still empty. While darting his eyes through the room he took off his jacket and hung it neatly over the back of his chair. He couldn't see Keira yet, but maybe she was in the back doing other things than helping customers. He scanned the room again and he was sure that she wasn't in here. Only a few grandmas, teenagers who clearly had a few free hours and a lot of business people were filling the seats. He pulled out his phone and opened the news app to pass the time.

'Can I get you something to drink?' a voice said.

He looked up from his phone hoping to see Keira, but it wasn't her. It was the blonde colleague and he could read on her apron that she was called Elsa. He nodded and she smiled broadly in response.

'What would you like to order?' she asked with still that broad smile on her face.

'Americano, please,' he responded politely.

'OK, I'll be right back.'

He watched her walk away and he wondered why she had taken his order and not Keira. She always took his order, not that she really took his order anymore because it was always the same, but she always brought him his coffee. Maybe she started later today and he didn't know about that, maybe he should ask her colleague about it when she brought the coffee. He felt slightly disappointed that she wasn't here, he liked hanging out with her and it always provided an opportunity to talk about something different than racing. He loved his racing and everything that came with it, but sometimes it was nice to forget about all of it and do what every other normal 25 year old guy did.

'Here you are,' Elsa put down his coffee in front of him, almost knocking it over in the process. 'Oops, sorry,' she said.

'No problem,' he answered when she cleaned up the spilled coffee. 'Can I ask you something?'

She looked up in surprise. 'Of course,' she said and then straightened her back to be able to look at him.

'Do you know where Keira is?'

Elsa raised her eyebrows. 'Didn't she tell you?'

'Tell me what?' he said confused. He didn't understand what she meant at all.

'She has called in sick today and it sounded like she isn't able to come in the rest of the week. Didn't she tell you?'

He frowned and looked down at his phone that was laying on the table. 'No, she hasn't,' he answered. Why hadn't she told him? Especially when it sounded this serious. He knew they never texted much, only about places where to meet up or how late, but he still felt kind of hurt that she hadn't told him. Maybe he was being stupid and they weren't as close friends as he thought and therefore she didn't want to share this with him. Nevertheless he really wanted to know how she was doing, so maybe he just should send her a text.

'I think she'll be back next week, if that's helpful in any way,' Elsa said with an apologetic look on her face.

'Thanks,' he smiled.

When she had gone he took a sip of his coffee and with the other hand picked up his phone. He wasn't sure what to write, because they normally didn't text about this stuff. Talking face to face was so much easier, because you can use expressions to get your point across. Not being able to do that now he had to write something that wouldn't sound creepy, desperate or uninterested. He wished he was Kimi at this moment, he didn't think about these things at all. He just wrote what he wanted and he didn't care what the other person would think about it, he himself envied that. He was some sort of control freak and wanted to do well at everything and that even translated it sending stupid texts.

**Sebastian - Hey, I heard you're not feeling well. I've missed you here at the cafe, my coffee isn't as good as when you make it. I hope you're doing OK.**

He pressed send before he could overcomplicate things again, something that was his specialty. With a sigh he put his phone back down and drank the rest of his coffee. It didn't feel the same sitting here in utter silence, he missed having someone to talk to. He had finished his coffee and there wasn't much else to do, he had forgotten what he used to do when he came here, before Keira started working here. He read up on some emails that were still unopened in his inbox and typed some quick replies where necessary. After that he read some articles on the big crash at the start of last race and when he saw the replays he whistled through his teeth. It indeed had been very close and Grosjean really was a first-lap nutcase. He himself had been very lucky to escape it all and maybe it had been better after all to start further down the order than around where he normally would have started. He smiled and checked his messages, although he knew she hadn't replied yet. He saw that she had read the message, but for some reason she had chosen not to reply. Maybe he should send her another message, he thought and with fresh reluctance he started typing.

\----------

She was sitting on the sofa again, the only place where she would feel both safe and comfortable. Her book was resting on her lap, but she couldn't concentrate at all. She had read the same page five times already and she still didn't know what was written on that page. Her thoughts lingered back to Seb, not being able to stop herself from doing that. When she had woken up this morning she couldn't understand the sinking feeling in her stomach. It had taken her a few minutes before the images of the day before had started to come back. To try to make it all go away she had pulled the pillow over her head, hoping it would disconnect her from the world. Of course it hadn't worked and the sick feeling in her stomach had stayed. She had decided to call in sick today, because she was too afraid to maybe run into Seb at the cafe. Also she knew how bad she would be at doing her job when she was distracted like this, as demonstrated before and she didn't want to go through that again.

Her phone started buzzing and she saw that it was a text from Seb again. He had sent her one before and it had surprised her, normally they didn't text much and she hadn't expected him to get hold of her. When she had noticed his name on the little screen she had felt a twinge in her stomach. His message had been sweet and she almost felt guilty for not showing up at work. That feeling had quickly disappeared however and she had thrown her phone at her feet, not wanting to reply.

**Sebastian - I'm really worried about you, I hope you're not feeling too bad. I know you're all alone, so I could come by if you would like?**

Damn it, why did he have to be this nice and considerate. She wanted him to be mean and annoying, so that it would be easier for her to forget him. Not getting what she wanted she could only ignore his message again and hope that he would give up trying to get in contact really soon. The whole situation had made her feel miserable and she even didn't want to go outside anymore, it was just like all her energy had gone completely. The fact that she hadn't eaten at all since watching the race yesterday maybe had something to do with that, but she knew she wasn't able to eat even if she wanted to. The knot in her stomach was still there and it only got tighter when time passed.

She was nervous and twitchy, every sound she heard made her jump and all the progress she had made in the last few weeks was gone. She had gone back to the girl she had been with David, full of fear and doubt. She didn't know what to do with the whole situation and wished she had never turned on the damn television yesterday. If she hadn't done that she would still be completely unaware of Seb's situation, but she also knew that someday she would've found out anyway. He wouldn't be able to keep this from her forever, so maybe it was better to have found out this soon, so she wouldn't be more attached to him than she already was right now.

Her phone started to ring and she already knew who it was before checking the caller's ID. He clearly hadn't given up yet and she stared at her ringing phone until it went to voicemail. Afraid to pick up the phone she just kept staring at it. A message appeared on her screen and she could read it from where she was sitting.

**\- 1 New voicemail**

She wanted to ignore the message, but on the other hand she caught herself wanting to hear his voice. Conflicted about what she actually wanted she stood up and went to make herself a cup of hot chocolate. When she put the chocolate powder into her mug, she suddenly remembered the first time she had seen Seb. It had been when he got the chocolate powder for her because she was too short to grab it. She smiled at the memory and poured the hot milk into her mug. Stirring the mixture absentmindedly she heard her phone ring again in the living room. With a sigh she picked up the hot chocolate and returned to the sofa. She carefully put the mug down so that she wouldn't be able to knock it over. Cleaning hot chocolate would be more of a pain in the ass than cleaning up tea.

She snuggled back into her blanket and looked at her phone, it was indeed Seb who had called again. She pressed her lips together and ignored the new voicemail. Instead she googled his name, Sebastian Vettel, and clicked on the first article describing his racing career. After reading and scrolling through the page she was definitely impressed. He was picked up by Red Bull at a very young age and therefore had made it to Formula 1 on merit and not because he had a lot of money to bring. He also was the youngest point scorer which he achieved when he had been only nineteen years old, at 21 he had became the youngest pole sitter, podium finisher and race winner. He even had became the youngest world champion at 23 after having finished runner up in the previous year and of course had became the youngest double world champion the year after. That was something quite spectacular she thought, he had broken all kind of records in his career. She giggled when she found another record that was set to his name, namely the record of quickest career penalty. During his first appearance in a F1 car he had driven out of the garage but had been caught speeding after only six seconds, that was also impressive.

Reading about Seb's career had been eye-opening, it showed her a lot about how Seb was as a person and as a competitor. What she could read he was hailed as a polite and nice guy and of course, who wasn't short of any talent. The Red Bull team seemed like a fun team and he clearly enjoyed his time there. She also read about his teammate Mark Webber and that they funnily enough didn't get along very well. It reminded her of a story he had told her once, about a colleague of his accusing him of cheating. Said colleague must have been Mark and it was clear that he wasn't going to let Mark intimidate him. She chuckled, everything that she had read about him showed her that he was exactly the same Seb as when he was with her. At least he wasn't this two-faced guy like many other famous people were, he was himself and that was clearly enough for him. She couldn't really find any confronting stories about him and photos of him being drunk in a club also didn't seem to exist. However, it reminded her of something else Seb had told her.

She quickly googled the words Räikkönen and inflatable dolphin and wasn't disappointed at all. In fact it had been Kimi with the dolphin and she laughed out loud, Seb hadn't been lying and it really had happened. Kimi and Seb seemed really good friends from what she could read and see on pictures, she hadn't seen Kimi smile as much as he did when he was with Seb for example. She loved when he smiled, because it made him appear a little bit more human. He also was very good looking and his smile accentuated that even more. She especially liked the photos were he had his long hair, sadly it was gone now and that was a shame. His long locks made him even more handsome then he was now, it gave him a rather bad boy look and of course that suited the Iceman. She silently hoped that he would grow it longer again and that he would stand on the podium many times more. It definitely wasn't a bad thing that it was a very male dominated sport, she thought. Not for her at least, because they were a bunch of good looking guys and she could stare at them shamefully without anyone calling her a creep. She grinned, at least there were some positives she could focus on.


	26. Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is my last chapter before Christmas, happy Christmas everyone!

It had been a few days since she had found out about Seb's other life. The last days had been difficult and she had done nothing more than laying on the sofa, crying her eyes out. Abby had called her every day to check in on her and had tried to calm her down. It had been sweet of her to try, but she was still not doing much better. She hadn't even cared to dress in the morning and was spending her days in her pyjamas. Her daily routine consisted of ignoring Seb and watching as many romantic comedies as possible while throwing everything that was in her reach at the TV. It wasn't fair that all those women ended up with the man of their dreams and living happily ever after. They didn't end up with bruised ribs and being struck with fear whenever someone came too close, that was only for ordinary people.

She threw one of her dirty socks at the TV, but she missed and now it laid sadly in the middle of the room. She knew that her behaviour was far from ideal, but she could care less at the moment. She didn't want to adult anymore, she just wanted to disappear and never come back. She ran her fingers through her hair, but her fingers got stuck in the knots that had formed over the past few days. She hadn't brushed her hair once it that time, not even washed it and she barely got herself to brush her teeth every day. With a sigh she untangled her fingers and watched the rest of the movie.

There was only one slight problem that she wasn't able to overcome without leaving the house. She had run out of food and there was literally nothing more than two black bananas left. She had postponed the shopping as long as possible and she had stretched it as far as she could. Unfortunately it had now came to the point that she had to go out to get some food. She didn't really want to starve to death, because she had heard that it could be quite unpleasant to die in that way. With a lot of effort she got herself off the sofa and she stretched her limbs. She knew that she couldn't leave the house looking like this, because maybe they would arrest her for being a tramp. She needed to at least wash her hair and put on something clean and that wasn't her pyjamas.

Stumbling she climbed the stairs and found her way to the bathroom. She quickly undressed and put her pyjama in the washing basket, something she should have done days ago. When she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror she wasn't as disgusted as usual. Her bruises were almost gone and she looked more and more like herself again. The familiar purple marks weren't there anymore and only a few greenish ones were still visible. It felt liberating to see that the last traces of David were almost gone and maybe she would finally be able to forget about him. He couldn't control her anymore and she was somewhat proud of herself for freeing herself.

It was remarkable how much better she felt after taking a shower, maybe she should have done that sooner. She felt refreshed again and her now clean hair fell perfectly around her shoulders. Luckily she had found some clean clothes so other people wouldn't be able to notice what she had been up to. Also walking outside had improved her mood enormously, the knot in her stomach loosened a bit and her eyes lit up when she felt the warm sunlight on her skin. She had missed this without even noticing, she had been so caught up in the whole situation that she had forgotten what she loved about life. She promised herself to go to the lake later that afternoon, it had always been the perfect place to think things over and she hadn't been there in a while. With a spring in her step she observed all the people walking the streets and everybody seemed to be smiling. Maybe she was imagining things or maybe she had forgotten what being happy looked like, but it improved her mood even further.

\----------

In the mean time Sebastian was enjoying his coffee sitting at his table at the window. His eyes had glazed over and he was staring out the window without really taking in what he was seeing. Sipping from his empty mug it was clear that his mind was somewhere else. It had been almost a week now since he had came back from Belgium and he still hadn't seen Keira. He had texted, called, left voicemails and even went by her house, but it had all been in vain. He had been too afraid to ring the doorbell so he hadn't even been sure if she was still there. Maybe she had gone back to England like she had said she would or maybe even had gone back to her parents. He didn't know and that was eating him up inside, not knowing why she was ignoring him and also not knowing how she was doing was unbearable. There was nothing else he could do to get hold of her, as long as she wasn't coming in for work he had no chance of seeing her again. He hoped that he would at least have the opportunity to talk to her before he had to go to Italy, because he didn't think this would do his concentration any good.

He finally put down his empty mug and got to his senses again. He wasn't sure if he had seen it right, but someone very familiar had just walked past the window. He recognised that reddish brown hair, he had been staring at it many times before. Without thinking he jumped out of his chair, hitting his knee on the table in the process. He cursed at himself and hobbled as fast as he could to the door. Not knowing where she was going he didn't want to lose any time, because she could disappear at any moment. Seeing her when he hadn't expected it had made his stomach lurch and his heart started to beat faster. He had to get hold of her, he couldn't let her slip through his fingers, not when he was this close to her.

When he was outside he darted his eyes around the street and spotted her staring at one of the shop windows. He took a deep breath and sprinted in her direction, hoping that she wouldn't spot him running. He stopped running and suddenly wasn't sure what to do. What should he say to her? It was so clear that she hadn't wanted to talk to him, so he wasn't quite sure what to expect. Lingering behind her was not going to get him very far and he drove a Formula 1 car for a living for God's sake. He should have had more guts than he showed right now, being nervous was allowed when you drove a car at 300 km/h, not when you wanted to talk to a friend.

'Hey,' he said and he hoped it sounded confident, but not arrogant. He could see her turn around and her eyes widened when she recognised him. Relieved that she hadn't run away or something he smiled nervously.

'Hey,' she answered in a harsh tone and her eyes had narrowed.

He was taken aback by her demeanour and smiled sheepishly. 'How are you doing?'

'Fine,' she answered in that same harsh tone.

Not sure what to say an awkward silence arose between them. He really didn't understand what had happened between them. Trying to break the silence he smiled again, but she gave no reaction. He had to do better to get her attention again.

'I heard you were ill, you're doing better then?' he asked hesitantly.

'Yes.'

'OK, that's good to hear,' he replied while trying to figure out what she actually was saying with her body language.

'Yes.'

It was getting more awkward by the minute now and he hadn't seen her look so hostile ever before. 'You're busy?' he said in an final attempt to make small talk.

'Yes,' her mouth had set in a hard line and her eyes flickered darkly.

He couldn't do this anymore, he hated this distance between them. 'Please, tell me what's wrong,' he almost yelled at her. All the feelings of the past days spilled over and he couldn't act like everything was alright anymore.

'Funny you should ask,' she replied. Her eyebrows were raised, but her face was still blank.

'Why?' he was confused now.

'Don't you have something more important to do than talk to me?' she had let out the anger that had built up.

'What do you mean?' he asked in surprise. She wasn't making any sense at all.

'What about driving your race car?' she said sounding angry. She almost spat out the last words and her eyes shot fire. With her arms folded she stared at Sebastian in disgust.

He could only blink, surely he hadn't heard her right. She couldn't know about this, he had done everything to hide it from her. Not that he should have done that, but that's another thing.

'Yeah, shocked aren't you?' she hissed and she bored her eyes into Seb's.

'How?' was all he could get out of his mouth. His throat was dry and a sinking feeling in his stomach made him realise what was happening.

'You thought you could keep this from me forever?'

'No, that's not what I wanted...,' he could hear his voice trail off at the end. He put his hands in his pockets, a habit when he was nervous.

'Then why didn't you tell me?' she said as her shoulders dropped. She blinked heavily and shook her head when she realised that she was on the verge of crying.

'I'm not sure,' he barely could get these words over his lips. He wanted to have a proper excuse, to show her that he wasn't the ass he so clearly was.

'Don't you trust me?' her voice sounded hurt and she had a look of helplessness on her face. She leaned against the wall and tears were visible in her eyes.

'I'm so sorry, it just... happened I guess. It's not that I don't trust you, not at all,' he said timidly and he hated to see her fighting back tears. He now understood why she had been so angry. She somehow had found out about him being a Formula 1 driver and therefore also the fact that he had hidden this big part of his life from her.

'Funny way of showing that,' she bit back.

'I said I'm sorry,' he almost whispered now.

With an accusing stare she looked back at him. 'Why would you even keep something like this from me? I thought we were friends.'

'That's the problem,' he sighed. 'I don't have many friends, because they're only interested in my money or my fame. I guess you not knowing who I was felt like I was being recognised for who I am as a person, not for what I do,' he confessed.

She stared at him for a while and then her expression softened a bit. 'I guess I can understand.'

Surprised at that he continued with his explanation. 'It's not that I intended to keep it from you, it just happened. It was so nice to just be myself for once that I didn't want that to end.'

'You really hurt me,' she began and she leaned her head back against the wall.

'I understand that and I'm really sorry. If I could do it differently, I would,' he said in a small voice. He would give anything to change what he had done and he would like to start over again. Of course that wasn't possible and it was up to him to clear this mess up.

'Promise me to never do this again,' she said with her eyes closed.

'I promise, I really do!' he said quickly and he almost got the words out in the wrong order.

'You did sort of kick ass last weekend,' she grinned and she gave him her first smile during their conversation.

He raised his eyebrows and was surprised again by her sudden change of tone. 'You watched the race?'

'Yeah, by accident. That's when I found out,' she sighed.

'It was a good race,' he admitted.

'So, a double world champion then?' she grinned and she relaxed her arms.

He blushed and he cursed his body for doing so. 'Yeah,' he stammered.

'Quite an achievement.'

'I worked hard for it,' he replied smiling shyly and wasn't sure why she was so nice suddenly. He really had worked hard for it, since he was a child he had put all his energy into go karting and later into single seaters. It took all of your time and you couldn't do much else if you wanted to. Of course he had finished his school, his parents had been very strict about that. It had surprised him that he had passed his Abitur (A Levels) without too much trouble and if he had wanted he could have applied for University. Wanting to pursue his racing career he had never been able to do that and sometimes he regretted that.

'Of course, you can't achieve something like this without working hard for it,' she said with a half smile now playing on her lips.

'Some try,' he smirked.

'But they don't succeed,' she chuckled and got back on her feet.

'True that,' he admitted, 'also it wouldn't feel right if you achieve something and you haven't given it your all. It feels so much better to be rewarded for your hard work.'

'Really? I always thought winning is winning and it doesn't matter how you do it.'

He rubbed his forehead and a pensive look was visible on his face. 'Of course that's true, but the victory is so much sweeter if you had to battle for it. Sometimes a hard earned second place feels better than an easy win, how strange that may sound.'

'You racing drivers are weird,' she shook her head, but her eyes were twinkling.

'Thanks, I guess?' he grinned.

'I still can't believe it,' she sighed suddenly, 'you being a famous racing driver I mean.'

He chuckled and scratched his head. 'Me neither.'

'Get used to it then, because you're getting your third this year,' she said in a stern voice and she gave him a little push.

'I don't think it's going to happen this year, Fernando and his stupid Ferrari have quite a margin,' he sounded deflated and he had been eager to forget about that part. However, a warm feeling had spread inside him when she had said that he would be this year's champion as well. His lips curved into a small smile and he was flattered by her belief in him. That meant a whole lot more than he would want admit to her, not many people really meant it when they said that to him.

'That's not the Seb I know,' she said indignantly. 'The Seb I know is determined and never gives up until the last chance has gone. So act like it,' she added with a grin.

'I'll try, does that make you happy?'

'It should make yourself happy, I can't win this championship for you. You know that right?' she tilted her head and a little frown was visible.

'Would make it all a lot easier, then I can just put my feet up and relax,' he said teasingly.

'Didn't you just tell me that an easy win wouldn't be as satisfactory as a hard fought one?'

His shoulders dropped and he looked up to the sky. 'You're right,' he pouted.

'Come on, let's get something to eat. I'm hungry!' she said while giving him a little push again. She clearly had forgotten about being angry at him and acted her cheerful self again. 

'I'll never say no to food,' he answered. He was sure the day he would deny food his end would be near.

She laughed and she threw her hair over her shoulders. 'What does your trainer think about that?'

'Don't ever mention food to Heikki, or I'll kill you!' he said warningly. Why did he always have to spoil things?

'OK, I'll keep my mouth shut. Our little secret,' she winked while picking up her bag off the ground.

'Let's get some food then,' he gave her a half smile and she smiled back. It was good to see her smiling again, he thought. Her whole body seemed to glow when she smiled and it made her even prettier than she already was, if that was possible at all. With a feeling of satisfaction he followed her down the street where she stood yelling his name. It felt good to have is friend back, finally.


	27. Invitation

Life had gone back to normal, the new normal that was, not the old normal. The new normal was her life in Switzerland, the old normal was her life in London and she wouldn't want to get back to that. She still didn't trust Sebastian as she had trusted him before, but she was glad that she had given him another chance. They had spent a lot of time together over the last days and she only then had realised how much she had missed him. Maybe Abby had talked some sense into her after all, because she had said it was stupid to push him out of her life before hearing him out. In the end he had given her an explanation she could understand and she couldn't imagine how it would be to stand in his shoes. She would certainly go crazy after a week of people constantly wanting to know what she was thinking or doing.

It mustn't be easy at all and she felt some pity towards Seb for having to live like this. On the other hand, he earned millions so he really had nothing to complain about. If she had millions she would hire a look alike to do all these things for her and then travel the world herself. Although Seb had a lot of money, he never looked like a rich person she had to admit. He was as normal as your next door neighbour and he wasn't wearing ridiculous expensive clothes or anything. She liked that about him very much.

At the moment Seb was ordering pizza and she listened to him speaking German. Although her German was quite good now after working so many hours in the cafe, they always spoke English between them. It was something they had done from the start and they both never had felt the need to change that. Nevertheless it was useful to speak both languages, because she could understand Seb when he was speaking German. At the moment he had raised his voice slightly, it was clear that the person on the other side of the line didn't understand what he wanted to order. Seb being as precise as ever wanted to make sure that the order was written down as detailed as possible. She grinned when she noticed his frustrated face and gave him a little wave. His response was flipping the bird and she could only laugh at that reply. He seemed so well mannered, but in the end he was just a normal guy.

'That guy really didn't have a brain,' Seb said sounding annoyed. He flopped down on the sofa next to Keira and massaged his head.

'Why?' she asked.

'Because I ordered two pizzas and he kept talking about six pizzas. I mean, how is that even possible?'

'I wouldn't say no to six pizzas...,' she smirked and she could hear Seb gasp in exasperation.

'That's not the point! If I ask for two pizzas I expect to get two, not three or more,' he said in frustration.

'You're adorable being annoyed, you know that?' she grinned en she gave him a pat on his head.

He pouted and looked at Keira with his best impression of puppy eyes.

'Yes, I know you're cute, but now move because I can't feel my feet anymore,' she tried to push him away from her and so free her feet.

He moved aside so that he was leaning against the arm of the sofa, opposite the one Keira occupied. 'Pizza will be here in half an hour,' he said.

'Good, because I'm hungry.' Her stomach was rumbling and thinking about pizza made that even worse. It had not even been her idea to order pizza, Seb had insisted he needed pizza to stay alive or something. Not wanting to argue with him and the fact she really wanted pizza she had given in.

'You better be, because I ordered the largest ones they had,' he grinned and he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

'If you keep going like this I don't know how you'll fit into your car.'

'Well, that's Heikki's job, not mine!' he threw his hands in the air to indicate his innocence.

'Poor guy,' she muttered.

'Hey, I pay him for this, he isn't poor at all!' he smiled proudly as if he had solved all of Africa's problems.

'Just go find a film, I don't want to hear anymore about this,' she used her feet to push him off the sofa. With a loud thud he landed on the floor and he shot her a deadly glare.

He sat up again and folded his arms. 'I could have broken something,' he said with disgruntlement in his voice.

She shrugged her shoulders and tried not to laugh. 'Well, you didn't.'

'You don't know that!' he shot back at her.

'Do you want me to examine you?' she waggled her eyebrows and a mischievous smile played on her lips.

He quickly got to his feet again and backed away. 'No, no, no, I don't want to die yet.'

'Alright, just pick a film then. They're in that blue box,' she said and pointed at one of the boxes that where stood next to the TV.

He finally did what he was told and started throwing DVDs through the room. It was funny watching his expression change when he pulled a DVD out of the box. His face went from disgust, to confusion and from recognition to smiles again.

A broad grinned appeared on his face when he had pulled one of the DVDs out of the box. 'This one,' he said firmly and he was waving a DVD above his head.

'Which one?' she asked, because she couldn't see what it was.

He walked back to her and held the DVD in front of her face. 'Cars 2,' he grinned.

'Oh God, why. How old are you again?' she sighed and looked up to him. When she met his eyes she felt that familiar feeling in her stomach again. His smile always got to her and she still hadn't found a way to get around that.

'Because I'm in it,' he said excitedly.

'It's a cartoon...,' she eyed him suspiciously.

'I know, but I'm one of the voice overs. I'm Sebastian Schnell!'

She stared at him and thought he was joking. 'Are you serious?'

'Yes! Look,' he pointed at the back of the box, 'it has my name on it. Do you believe me know?'

'Yes,' she grinned. She couldn't believe he had done something like this and she was now curious how he sounded in the film. 'Sebastian Schnell, really?' she said shaking her head.

'They had to come up with a name and this sounded eh, racy?' he grinned. 'You know, Lewis is in it too. He even speaks German here!'

'But he doesn't speak German?' she said sounding puzzled.

'Oh he doesn't, it sounds horrible, but it was fun,' he chuckled and he flipped over the box to look at the other side. 'Shall we watch this then? I haven't seen it actually,' he admitted.

'Alright, is Sebastian Schnell as fast as you are?'

'I hope so,' he grinned and he started the film.

'Hey, watch it,' she said when Seb had let himself fall on the sofa and he had almost ended up on her lap.

'Sorry,' he gave her a lopsided grin and he wasn't sorry at all.

'You're insufferable,' she sighed and pushed him away from her.

They sat in silence for a while watching the film. She had never seen it and she didn't really know why they owned it, but it was quite funny actually. It was strange to hear Seb's voice coming from the TV, but it was really adorable how he was talking over the film whenever a scene with Sebastian Schnell came up. He clearly still remembered his lines and he even did know some of the others.

'What?' he said when he noticed Keira staring at him.

'Nothing,' she smiled and at that moment the doorbell rang.

'I'll get it,' Seb jumped up and grabbed his wallet from the table. 'I'll be right back,' he yelled from the hallway.

Not long after he returned with two large boxes in his arms. The smell of pizza filled the room and they both couldn't wait to dig in. Seb put the boxes down on the coffee table and sat back down again. They didn't bother with plates, the box was already a useful plate.

'Here,' Seb gave her one of the boxes.

'Thanks,' she said and opened the box as quickly as possible. The sight of cheese made her smile and she picked up a slice. She could see Seb doing the same and she watched him taking a bite. He was quite skilful in eating this neatly with one hand and she was quite impressed. When the pizza was this large she always needed to use both of her hands.

'Shall I turn the film back on?'

She nodded as her mouth was full of pizza and turned her head back to the screen. It took her a long time to finish the whole pizza and she donated her final slice to Seb. He was more than happy to accept it.

'I don't know how you can eat more,' she said incredulously.

'Being a man, I guess,' he shrugged his shoulders and shot her an innocent look.

They both turned their attention back on the film and it didn't take long before it had finished. When the credits started rolling on the screen Seb turned off the TV.

'Did you like it?' he asked.

'It was better than the first one,' she chuckled.

'That's something,' he sounded sad and his eyes had drooped a little.

She glanced sideways and caught his eyes. 'But you were totally amazing, if that's what you wanted to hear.'

A corner of his mouth lifted and he ran his fingers through his hair, like he did so often. 'I knew I was amazing,' he grinned.

'It's so nice to know you're such a modest guy.'

'It's your fault, you said it was better than the first one,' he used his feet to give her a kick in offence.

That reminded her of something she had wanted to ask him. 'Do you have your own plane?' she asked while observing him tearing up his pizza box.

'Me? No, I don't need a plane,' he chuckled. 'I can afford it, of course, but I don't see why I need my own.'

'But all famous people have their own plane!' she said disappointedly. Damn it, why didn't he have his own plane? It would've been the perfect opportunity to keep up with her flight hours for free.

'You're disappointed?' he asked with a slight smile.

'Yes! If you had one I could fly it, I miss flying.'

'You fly?' he sounded both surprised and impressed.

She smiled when she thought about her flights with Abby. 'Yes, I have my pilot license. Only for small planes though, not the big ones. I think when you grow up with a father working in aviation, you want to be able to fly a plane yourself,' she said.

'You keep surprising me.'

'I love to be that mysterious girl,' she said sarcastically and put her feet on Seb's legs.

'You already are,' he said seriously. He pushed her feet off his legs and put his own feet on her legs.

'I'm still disappointed,' she sighed and she put her head in her hands.

'Kimi has a private jet,' he remembered. 'We use it for carpooling, eh, planepooling is a better word I think.'

She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. 'You do?' she asked in surprise.

'Yeah, I'm always welcome to tag along to race weekends if I want. Sometimes I do take up that offer, so...'

'Living the life,' she grinned and she stretched her legs again, pushing Seb almost off the sofa in the process. 'Do you know what type of plane he has?' she asked with interest.

He scratched his head and a frown appeared on his face. 'Ehm, I don't, sorry.'

'Doesn't matter, I know you only know things about cars,' she grinned.

'I think you also do know more about cars than me,' he said. 'I mean when you were telling me about the courses you took in college I didn't understand half of it. I was really impressed,' he added and admiration was visible on his face.

'I don't think that's true, maybe I know different things than you about cars, but certainly not more.'

'By the way, I think it's brave of you to take on the challenge of working in a field like this. There aren't enough women in engineering and I think it's good that there are people willing to change that,' he sounded serious and he ruffled his hair while smiling at her.

'I think it's important to do what you love in life, you shouldn't be held back by people telling you that you can't do something because of your gender. I mean that's ridiculous,' she was chewing on her bottom lip and a fire had started in her belly. A lot of professors at college clearly didn't like the fact that there were girls taking their courses and she knew that she would encounter more men like those in her life sadly.

'I agree,' he said. 'Oh, before I forget,' he added suddenly. He sat up again and he looked slightly nervous. His fingers were tugging on one of the cushions and he dodged Keira's eyes.

'What?' her eyes narrowed at Seb's weird behaviour.

He straightened his back before he said something. 'I was thinking,' he started, 'would you like to go to Monza next weekend?'

'Eh,' more she wasn't able to say. She was taken aback by his question, but at the same time excitement started to built in her body. Going to such a classic track would be awesome, it would be a magical experience she was sure of it. She had always wanted to go to a race, but her father always said that it was too expensive if they wanted to go together. He would be so jealous if he knew that she was going to Monza.

'Of course you can bring friends,' he added when she didn't give him an answer.

'That sounds awesome,' she finally answered and before she could clearly think about what she was going to do next, she leaned in to give him a hug.

It was only a friendly hug, but to feel his body making contact with hers caused an explosion inside her stomach. Her nose was stuck in his hair and her hands were wrapped around his neck. She could feel his hands on her back and she felt the urge to pull away. Not wanting to give in to herself she tightened the grip on his neck and breathed in the now familiar scent of mint and petrol. She could feel his warm breath on her skin and the stubble on his face rubbed against her cheek, making her skin tingle. His heartbeat could be felt through his shirt and she noticed it was almost as fast as hers, both clearly hadn't expected this contact. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up when he let out the slightest of moans when she had moved her hands. She stopped breathing for a moment and her stomach lurched in reply to that little sound. Not wanting to make the situation awkward she pulled away and quickly increased the distance between them.

'So, friends?' he asked while trying to fix his hair. A blush was visible on his cheeks and he was breathing heavier than normal.

Her own cheeks were also flushing and she could still feel his touch on her skin. 'Is it OK if I bring my two best friends?' she said slightly out of breath. Damn it, she wanted to sound normal. This hadn't been a big deal and she didn't want Seb to know that she hadn't wanted to end the hug at all.

'No problem, I'll make sure to get you all weekend passes and book you flights and a hotel,' he said and he pulled out his phone to make a note. 'Do you want separate rooms or one big one?' he asked.

'I can't believe you're doing this for us, you're really awesome,' she said while watching him type, 'and one big room is OK. I'll have to check with Abby and Tom, but I'm sure they will agree.'

His expression changed a bit and he looked up from his phone. 'You have a guy best friend?' he asked trying to sound nonchalant, but not very successfully.

She lifted an eyebrow and repositioned her legs. 'Yes?'

'Is he gay?' he asked bluntly.

Completely surprised by the question she could only laugh. 'Is that a serious question?' she replied when she could speak again.

'Yes,' he said sounding slightly ashamed.

'To answer your question then, no he isn't gay. Far from it, he can get every girl he wants,' she grinned when she thought about Tom and his constant flirting with everything that could walk.

'You too?' his voice sounded different and his eyes had narrowed slightly. He tried to cover it up with smiling and typing on his phone again.

'You know these are things you can't ask a girl, right?' she chuckled and shook her head. 'If you really want to know, yes he has,' she said while smiling at the memory. She didn't know why Seb wanted to know these things, but it was kind of flattering to see him kind of jealous about her spending time with other guys.

'And?' he replied while still staring at his phone. His blue eyes seemed a bit darker, but otherwise nothing had changed about his appearance.

'And what?' she retorted his question. 'I'm not going to talk about this subject,' she grinned and stood up to get something to drink, the pizza had made her thirsty.

He sighed and looked up from his phone when he had noticed her standing up. 'I'm sorry,' he smiled, 'excuse me for my ungentlemen behaviour.'

She leaned against the doorpost and watched him making his hair even messier when he scratched his head. 'Apology accepted,' she grinned. 'Do you want something to drink?' she asked and her mouth twitched when she saw him smiling at his phone.

'Yes, please. It feels like I have eaten a mountain of salt,' he pointed at his throat and he pulled a glum face.

He was looking adorable again and she lingered a few seconds longer than was necessary to observe him. When he was bent forward like this to type on his phone his shirt revealed a bit more skin of his chest than normal. The best part about Seb was that he didn't know he was good looking and that made him even hotter than he already was. There were a lot of guys who did everything to show off their bodies and made sure everybody noticed, Seb was the complete opposite. However that meant she had to settle for these rare moments were she could see a bit more of that toned body of his and therefore was reluctant to tear her eyes away. With a sigh she turned around and made her way to the kitchen to get them some water.


	28. Surprise

After a week spending her time at home she was glad to be back at work. She had missed the interaction with the customers and also time passed a lot quicker when she was being kept busy. Time passing quickly was essential, because she wanted it to be Wednesday sooner than later. It was only a few days, but it felt like weeks she had to wait. Days went by so slowly that she was sure someone had broken the clock that was hanging on the wall. She also still needed to call Tom, so that he knew he was going somewhere and give him time to recover from the news. Sebastian had made sure that he would personally call Abby's and Tom's bosses if it was necessary to get them the weekend off, he was always so thoughtful she thought. She didn't think it would be a big problem for Tom, because he already worked in the motorsport world and they would be mad to not let him linger around the Red Bull garage.

When she had called Abby she had responded really enthusiastically, she was more looking forward to meeting Seb than the cars, but that didn't matter. It was nice to spend some time together again, because there weren't many opportunities to do so sadly. She was also looking forward to introducing her friends to Seb, although she was a little afraid of how Tom would act around him. She knew Seb would be his nice and funny self, so she was sure her friends would like him.

'You're daydreaming again,' Elsa said making Keira jump.

'Don't do that again!' she gasped clasping her chest and leaning back against the counter.

'I'm sorry, but it isn't my fault that your thoughts are somewhere else,' Elsa grinned.

'It's late, I guess I'm just tired,' Keira said shrugging her shoulders. 'I'm not used to these long days anymore, I just have to find my way again.' Her heart was still pounding, but her breathing had steadied again.

'Or you were thinking about your Sebby?' Elsa grinned and she quickly jumped back before Keira could poke her.

'His name isn't Sebby and no, I wasn't!' Keira said indignantly and she grabbed a croissant from the basket that was standing on the counter.

'Oh Keir, it's so obvious,' Elsa laughed and she patted Keira on her shoulder. She also grabbed a croissant from the basket and took a bite, still smiling at her colleague.

'It's not,' Keira muttered as she swallowed a piece of her croissant. 'I was thinking about my friends,' she added.

'And Seb never crossed your thoughts?'

'Maybe,' Keira answered under her breath. Her cheeks turned pink again and she tried to hide it from Elsa by bending over to check something.

'When is one of you finally going to make a move?' Elsa sounded impatient and she exchanged looks with Peter, their other colleague who was working today.

'What do you mean?' Keira tried to sound normal, but her cheeks had now turned a dark colour red.

'Oh come Keir, you're not stupid. You like him!' Elsa exclaimed while rolling her eyes.

Keira threw a cloth in Elsa's direction and almost had also thrown her croissant by accident. 'I do not like him!' she yelled at her.

'Yes, you do,' Elsa grinned and she started to stack the coffee mugs.

'I certainly do not, I don't know what makes you think that,' Keira said with a look of indignation on her face. Her colleagues didn't know anything about Seb and her and she liked him as a friend, nothing more.

'Oh, you do,' Elsa replied, 'and he likes you too.'

'He doesn't!' Keira yelled and a few of the customers looked at her in surprise. Maybe that had came out a bit louder than she had intended. She couldn't help it, because Elsa was making absurd assumptions, Seb certainly wouldn't like a girl like her. Especially when he could get any girl he wanted, so he never would want to be more than just friends. He had said it himself, he liked having a friend he could talk to about more than just his racing.

'You're blind, you really are,' Elsa shook her head and disbelief was audible in her voice. 'I mean, you should have seen him when you weren't here. He looked lost sitting at his table.'

'Because we're _friends_ ,' Keira tried to clear up the situation for her colleague.

'It would be a lost opportunity if you stay just friends, because it's so obvious you both like each other,' Elsa said in a sad tone. She stacked the last few mugs and sighed when she caught Keira's eyes, trying to convince her colleague was not easy at all.

'I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to be more than friends. Besides, I just broke up with my boyfriend with whom I lived together, so I'm not ready for someone else yet.'

'Stupid reasons,' this time Elsa sounded disappointed.

'Why do you care so much?' Keira asked suspiciously. She leaned against the counter and folded her arms.

'Because you deserve to be happy. I have seen you change from when you started working here to who you are now. Believe me when I say that you have been much happier since Seb started to come in every day.'

Keira thought these words over for a second, there was some truth in it. Seb really had helped her getting over David and he had been a great distraction from her pain and fear. She wouldn't want to think about how she was doing right now if she hadn't met Seb.

'You're thinking about him again, aren't you?' a knowing smile played on Elsa's lips and she had planted her hands on her hips. Her blonde hair was hanging loosely over her shoulders and she blew a lock out of her face.

Keira gasped in annoyance and shot her a deadly glare. 'Can't you give it a rest?' she said through clenched teeth.

'OK, but please know that you're stupid if you don't do anything about it,' with a shake of the head Elsa pushed a cloth into Keira's hands. 'Your turn to clean the tables.'

\----------

When she had fed herself and put her clothes into the washing machine she decided to try reaching Tom again. If he wasn't at some party, he should be home right now and she really needed to talk to him. She crashed down on her bed and almost broke her laptop that was apparently laying under her pillow. She pushed away some clean clothes that still needed to be folded and tried to find Tom's number.

'Hey Keir, long time no speak!' he answered the phone happily after only a few rings.

'How are you doing?' she asked. With her free hand she tried to fix the pillow to make herself more comfortable.

'Alright, work is really busy, but I still find time to go out luckily,' he grinned.

'How's work?'

'I still love it, I have learned loads and everyone is so nice!' he said excitedly. A few voices in the background were audible and he yelled something back at them.

'You're with friends?' she asked in surprise. If he was with friends, she didn't want to be rude and make him speak to her.

'Yes, wait,' he said and he put his hand over the microphone. 'Guys, calm it down, I'm on the phone!' he yelled.

Keira could still hear it and grinned. 'Are they trashing your house?'

'Something like that,' he sighed. 'We're having a party tonight, so we're setting up the room. I have to remember to lock away all the breakable things.'

'Sounds like fun,' she said and she was sad that she never went to parties anymore. She had no one to party with and she was sure that she even had forgotten how to party.

'They're really great guys. They work extremely hard during the day, but are also really fun to hang out with.'

'I'm so happy for you that it all worked out in the end, the same with Abby,' she said and she wiggled her toes in the air.

He had noticed the sadness in her voice. 'Your time will come too,' he said encouragingly. 

'I hope you're right,' she sighed.

'I hope so too. By the way, is there something you wanted to discuss? I spoke to Abby today and she sounded rather mysterious and now you're calling me, so...,' he said with expectation in his voice. 'If you're pregnant, just tell me,' he smirked.

She gasped and closed her eyes. 'Not you too, tell Abby that she's not funny at all!' she yelled at the phone in her hand.

'I'm joking, but please enlighten me with your news.'

'Well, are you free this weekend?' she asked while trying to hide her excitement.

'Ehm, not really. I promised the guys that I would watch the Italian GP with them. Why?' he said sounding confused. 

'That's too bad, because I wanted to invite you to Monza this weekend,' she grinned and she hoped it had sounded nonchalant enough.

'Are you serious?' he said sounded perplexed.

'Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked. I have weekend passes, a hotel booking and even have a flight arranged for you. However, if you have plans already I have to find someone else...,' she had to put all her effort into trying not to giggle.

'Nooooooooo!' sounded from the other side of the line. 'I want to come, I don't have any plans anymore,' he said quickly.

'OK then,' she grinned. 'I'll send you your flight information and ticket. We'll meet each other there on Wednesday, so you'll have to arrange that you're free then. Hotel is already booked and close by the track, so you don't have to worry about anything,' she said trying to remember all the information. She didn't want to leave out anything crucial and had to make sure that everything was correct.

'Wow, Keir, that's quite something. Why suddenly this trip?' he still sounded perplexed. 'Moreover, how on earth are you going to pay for all of this?'

She had to laugh at his question, it indeed sounded weird if you didn't know the whole story. 'I have my connections,' she grinned.

'That must be some good connections then, I'm impressed,' he said in awe. 'I do have a wish list myself, do you mind passing that on to your connection?' he chuckled.

'You can do that yourself,' she grinned. 'Seb will be here this weekend too. I wanted to introduce you and Abby to Seb for a long time already. You'll meet him this weekend,' she added in a mysterious voice.

'Really? I knew it was your guy, you're always talking about him. Now I'm curious,' he said excitedly. He clearly was not making the connection and therefore had no clue that Keira's Seb and the world champion Seb were the same.

'Just wait, I'll introduce you. Also, there's more to the surprise,' she replied with a smile on her face. It was too easy to tease Tom like this and she decided not to tell him about Seb over the phone. Especially when his friends were there, so she would tell him this Wednesday. It would also be better if Abby was there to help out with an overexcited Tom and he would be able to let off some steam before meeting Seb.

'It's not fair that you don't want to tell me now,' he sulked and his friends were yelling something at him again.

'I haven't forgotten that time you briefly had a girlfriend and you didn't tell me about it,' she shot back at him. It had been a few years ago, but she had been really pissed at him.

A short silence fell before he answered again. 'I forgot about that, she was a bitch though, so you didn't miss much,' he chuckled.

'You having a girlfriend is something that would never work, so I'm not surprised.'

'Hey, that's not a nice thing to say to someone!' he said indignantly. 'I'm perfectly capable of having a girlfriend, I just don't see the need of having one.'

'You're horrible,' she sighed and she sat back up again. She leaned against the headboard and stared outside the window. Twilight was starting to set in and the moon was already visible.

'You are too,' he said and he stuck his tongue out, although he knew Keira couldn't see him.

'Are you sure about that?' she raised an eyebrow and stared at the ceiling. 'You know, I can just as easily uninvite you to this weekend,' she said hoping to tease him a bit more.

'No!' he almost screamed. 'You're the smartest, most beautiful and nicest girl I've ever met,' he said trying to give her as many compliments as possible.

'That's more like it,' she grinned and she picked up the glass of water that was on her nightstand. She took a few sips and listened to Tom listing many more positive things about her. It made her laugh, but it also boosted her confidence a bit. She knew Tom was exaggerating, but it was always nice to hear someone say nice things about you.

'Am I invited again?' he pouted when he was done listing up good qualities.

'Yeah, you can come,' she answered. 'I'll send you the information in a minute and then we'll see each other at the airport on Wednesday, OK?'

'I can't wait! Best surprise ever, I can't think of something better,' he sounded so happy that it was like he had just been given a puppy.

'Have fun at your party tonight and safe travels in advance,' she grinned when she heard his enthusiasm.

'Thanks, see you then. Bye!'

'Bye!'

She took a deep breath and threw the phone on her bed. Speaking to Tom had made her even more excited for this weekend and she was sure that she wasn't able to sleep tonight. She felt like a six year old who's birthday was the next day again and it made her question her sanity. She buried her head in her hands and laughed at her own stupidity, she needed to get a grip. With a small effort she picked up her laptop and quickly sent the details of this weekend to both Tom and Abby, Seb had already emailed it to her. He was as organised as her and that made everything a lot easier.

With a sigh she closed her laptop and she stood up from her bed. She grabbed a notebook and a pen that were laying on her desk. It was time to make a list, because she didn't like to be unprepared and she needed to organise her head. She had decided to only take a small suitcase with her, because she hated to wait for her luggage at the airport. It was only a few days, so it would provide more than enough space to pack her belongings. She scribbled a few essentials on the list like underwear and then let her eyes dart around the room to spot something else to write down. In the end it took her almost half an hour to write the list and she was only satisfied with it when she had checked it over five times. She put it on her desk so she would be able to find it easily when she needed it the next day. When she stood there in the middle of the room she smiled at the prospect of going somewhere new. She pushed her hair behind her ear and thought about the upcoming weekend. Seeing Seb race would be weird, but she knew already that she would be screaming her lungs out to support him.


	29. Travelling

When she looked out the small window she could see houses and cars slowly growing bigger and bigger. She checked her seatbelt again and leaned back against the back of her chair. Landing was not one of her favourite parts of flying and she would be glad when they were safely on the ground. She looked sideways and the man sitting next to her was finally sleeping, why couldn't he have done that sooner? He had been bugging her the whole flight, explaining why Italy was the best country that had ever existed. At first she had been polite, but after a few minutes she had put in her earphones, trying to drown out his voice. Sadly he hadn't mind that at all and happily went on talking to her. Cautiously so she wouldn't wake him she grabbed her bag and put her book and earphones away. A feeling of excitement spread through her body when she spotted the passes in her bag, they were all access and she thanked Seb in her head for getting them.

When she was finally let off the plane she strolled through the airport. Abby and Tom would land half an hour later so she had to entertain herself in that time. People were running in all different kind of directions and others were peacefully enjoying their coffees. She spotted a Ferrari shop and curiosity made her go inside. She knew that Seb wouldn't appreciate it at all if she showed up with Ferrari gear, but it was fun to look at. It reminded her of the Schumacher era and it brought back good memories. Clearly Italy was happy that Ferrari was doing this well, because there were photos of Alonso everywhere and wishing him luck with his title pursuit. She decided to buy a cap that said Forza Alonso, just to piss off Seb and chuckled at the idea of how his face would look if he saw her wearing it.

She was sipping her coffee that she had just bought and enjoyed the hassle of the airport. Sitting in a chair were she could keep an eye on the arrivals she remembered to text Seb. She had promised him to let him know when she had landed.

**Keira - Just landed, just waiting for Abby and Tom at the moment. Can't wait to see everything tomorrow!**

When she had hit send she thought about what Seb would be doing right now. Maybe he was training with Heikki or he was sightseeing, she didn't know. Something inside her told her to ask him that, but she didn't want to disturb him. Tomorrow was the plan to meet him, so she just had to be patient.

**Sebastian - Good to hear. Have fun and I'll see you tomorrow! Just go to the Red Bull garage, I informed Christian that a few friends will come over :)**

She smiled when she read his message, he didn't even know Abby or Tom and he called them friends. It would be easier to explain, she agreed and she was sure they would all go along. She was really looking forward to meet the team and she knew she had to keep herself from bugging all the people inside the garage, because she was dying to know more about working for a team like Red Bull. Having an engineering background would make it hard to concentrate only on the racing on track, because she knew how much work had gone into getting the cars there in the first place.

Suddenly she was pulled out of her chair and she looked up shocked to see what was going on. Tom and Abby were standing in front of her beaming in delight.

'We're here,' Tom said unnecessarily while giving Keira a hug.

'I've noticed,' she grinned. 'Flight alright?'

'Yes, no problems at all,' Abby answered. 'If you don't count Tom asking every five minutes why this was suddenly all happening,' she rolled her eyes at Tom and put down her bag.

Keira turned towards Tom and smiled at him. 'You'll never chance, won't you?' she grinned.

'Remind me to never travel with two girls again,' he said in disgruntlement as he hoisted his backpack on his shoulder. 'You two always form a pact,' he sulked.

'It's just a girls thing, you'll never understand,' Abby grinned and she ruffled his hair, what ended up in Tom pushing her away. She gave him her sweetest smile and flopped down in the chair next to Keira.

'Did you have to wait long?' Tom asked Keira, ignoring Abby completely.

'Just a bit, I had time to look around,' she smiled at him. 'Look what I've bought,' she said and she pulled the hat out of her bag.

'Forza Alonso,' Tom read with his forehead furrowed. 'Are we supporting Alonso this weekend?' he asked while sitting down in the chair on the other side of Keira.

Abby giggled and Tom stared at her in confusion. Keira only gave her a knowing look. 'Keira isn't, I don't know yet,' Abby said with a triumphant smile on her face.

Tom was now staring at Keira. 'You have an Alonso cap, but you don't support him? I knew you were strange,' he said and he rubbed his forehead.

'You'll find out who I support shortly,' Keira grinned and she stretched her arms above her head. 'Let's get out of here. I want to check in before we go out for dinner.'

With their arms around each other they made their way to the exit, waiting for a cab to take them to the hotel.

\----------

'Wow, this is amazing,' Abby said in awe when they entered the lobby.

Keira had to agree with her, it was a lot fancier than she had expected. It was typical Italian, but in a modern way, in the end it was just looking expensive. When they made their way to the desk to check themselves in she spotted a lot of team personal walking around. She could make out a few different teams and she realised that Seb had booked them into the team hotel. Tom had also spotted them and was now painfully poking both herself and Abby to make them aware. Ignoring him she looked up to the woman behind the desk.

'I would like to check in please,' she said politely and pulled out her identification.

'Name please?' the woman asked stiffly.

'O'Donnell,' she answered and she shoved her identification into the woman's direction.

She took it and stared at it intently. 'That's alright, you will stay here until Monday I see. I'll get someone to help you with your luggage,' she said while typing something into the computer.

'That will not be necessary,' Keira said quickly as they only had travelled with hand luggage.

'Alright, then here are your keys,' she held out three cards and Keira took them. 'Have a nice stay, if you need anything, just ask,' the woman said again with that stiff smile. They really were drilled to look like  brand representative robots.

They thanked the woman and set out to find the lifts.

'Have you seen all this team personal?' Tom said finally and his eyes were wide when he spotted a Ferrari team member.

'Yes, but please act normal. They're just people, you know,' Abby said while pulling Tom back to the lift, he had wanted to go back to the lobby. 'You'll see more of them in the paddock tomorrow, so no need to stare now,' she added annoyed.

Tom suddenly had lost his interest in the team personnel. 'We're going to the paddock?' he asked with his mouth wide open.

Keira grinned, Tom looked like an idiot. 'Yes, we've got all access passes for the whole weekend,' she said brightly.

At that moment the lift doors went open and they all went inside. Even the lift was fancier than a normal house, Keira thought. She pushed the right button and waited until the lift started to move.

'You aren't sleeping with a driver or anything?' Tom suddenly asked when he had been thinking for a few seconds. He picked up his bag and smirked at his own absurd question.

'I promise I'm not,' Keira grinned.

'Do you?' Abby suddenly butted in and it was clear from her expression that she didn't believe one word of what Keira was saying.

'Of course,' Keira said convincingly and quickly dodged Tom's eyes. Abby was always trying to stir things up as she got the most joy out of revealing secrets and creating awkward situations.

Luckily for Keira they reached their floor at that moment. They all dragged their luggage across the corridor until they found their room. With a swipe of his card Tom opened the door and they all followed him inside. Their jaws dropped in surprise when they saw the room, it was huge.

'Are you sure we're in the right room?' Abby had turned her head towards Keira and her mouth was still hanging open.

'I think so, it's on my name. I can't believe Seb booked something like this,' Keira said while dropping her bags on the ground. She walked through the rooms and spotted three different bedrooms with each an ensuite, there was also a living room and a kitchen.

'Look, if you stand here you can see the track from the window,' Tom shouted from somewhere in the living room.

Abby and Keira followed his voice and found Tom standing next to a large window. You couldn't even call it a window anymore, because the whole wall was made out of glass and it provided a spectacular view over the city.

'That guy of you must be filthy rich to afford this,' Tom said and he had planted his hands against the window, sounding both impressed and jealous.

Keira and Abby exchanged looks and Keira quickly went to explore the rest of the room, leaving the question unanswered. 'I'll take this one,' she yelled from one of the rooms and she dumped her bag on to the bed. The bed was king size and it looked incredibly comfortable, sadly it wasn't time for sleep yet. She could hear the others also putting their stuff into their rooms and she took the opportunity to change into some clean clothes. She didn't want to go out for dinner in her travelling clothes, they were comfortable, but not really fashionable.

'Are you ready?' Abby poked her head around the door and also had changed her clothes.

Keira had just done up the zipper of her dress and was now looking for shoes inside her bag. 'Just give me a minute,' she said while trying to keep her clothes neatly folded.

'OK, just don't take too long. I'm hungry,' Abby pouted and she pointed at her stomach.

'I'll be quick,' Keira grinned and she put on the shoes she had found. When Abby left the room she made her way to the bathroom to add a touch of make-up. The bruise on her face was almost gone now and her cheek bone felt no longer broken, thank God. It had been a very painful injury, especially when she had to laugh. Carefully not to poke the stick in her eye she applied a bit of mascara and brushed her hair. Checking from both sides if she looked alright she went back to the bedroom to put on her blazer and grab her bag.

'Let's go,' Abby said when Keira finally joined them.

'You both look nice,' Tom said when he had checked both of them out.

'Good enough to be seen in public with?' Keira grinned and she twirled around before walking to the door.

'You always are, you make me look ugly,' he sulked, but a smile played on his lips, showing that he wasn't serious at all.

'Come on,' Abby pulled them both by their arms and dragged them out of the room.

When they stood in the lift again they were accompanied by a few members of Williams and Force India. Tom behaved remarkably well and when they had reached ground floor Abby gave him an approving pat on the back. Maybe that had been a bit too premature, because at that moment Nico Hülkenberg was entering the lobby.

'Look!' Tom shouted and pointed in his direction. Several heads turned in their direction and also Nico seemed to have noticed.

'Quiet! People are looking at us,' Keira hissed and she pulled Tom's arm and dragged him outside, far away from Nico. 'What were you thinking?' she asked him staring at his happy face.

'That was Nico Hülkenberg!' he said with a broad grin on his face, like that was explanation enough for his behaviour.

'We could see that, but we didn't feel the need to scream out loud,' Abby added and she rummaged in her bag to find something. 'I honestly don't know why we took you with us,' she sighed and she hoisted the bag on her shoulder again.

'I agree, people will think we're idiots because of you,' Keira nodded and she could see Tom's face drop. 'But we still love you,' she added quickly and giving him a hug.

'You do?' he said with a small voice and sad eyes.

'Of course we do!' Abby grinned and pulled them all into a group hug. 'Now let's find something to eat, shall we?'

They both followed Abby who had already chosen a direction. The town was small, but it oozed Italian tradition and they enjoyed looking at the houses and the small restaurants. It was not too busy in town yet as most people would arrive tomorrow or even on Friday. However the restaurants all looked packed and they had difficulty finding a place where they could eat.

'No, not pizza again,' Tom groaned when they finally found a terrace with a few empty spots.

'It's pizza or hunger,' Abby pulled out a chair and sat down, clearly having no intention to leave. 'My legs hurt from walking and I'm hungry, so this will do.'

'OK then,' he sighed and he also flopped down on a chair. He pulled the menu towards him and opened it.

It didn't take long before the waiter came over to their table and took their orders. Of course a bottle of wine was needed to celebrate their first evening together in a long time and they toasted when the waiter had poured them all a glass.

'On a good weekend,' Abby said and she almost dropped her wine when their glasses touched.

'Oops, that could've been nasty,' Keira grinned and she quickly put down her own glass after taking a sip.

'Yes, that would definitely not have been a good beginning of the weekend,' Tom leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms, showing a bit of skin when his shirt rode up.

Keira had spotted that and it reminded her of that time she had sat on that hill with Sebastian. It had been one of their first times hanging out and it hadn't all been that comfortable yet. She looked at Tom again and seeing his exposed skin did nothing to her compared to the feeling she had felt when Seb had done the same. With Seb she had felt her stomach lurch and she had wanted to know what was under the rest of his shirt, with Tom it was just seeing some skin.

The food was delicious and it was clear that Italy really served the best pizza in the world. The pizza they could get at home was alright, but this was definitely better. They talked about a lot of things they hadn't had time for to tell each other over the phone and also discussed work and the upcoming race.

'I'm supporting the hottest driver,' Abby said and she waved her fork at them. Her eyes were glittering and she giggled at bit. This could also be because of the third bottle of wine they had just opened.

'Who is that?' Keira also giggled and she ignored Tom's gasp.

'I don't know yet, I haven't seen them all!' Abby clapped her hands and almost fell off her chair laughing.

'I can suggest a few,' Keira giggled again and she poured herself another glass of wine.

'Can we discuss something else please?' Tom said sounding annoyed. 'I choose my favourites by their skills, not their looks.' He was angrily poking his food with his fork and that made for another round of giggles.

'But you're a guy, you don't understand,' Abby shot Keira a knowing look and they both looked back at Tom. 'It's no fun when they aren't good looking,' Abby pouted.

'Girls,' Tom muttered and he took another bite of his pizza.

'All girls do this!' Abby added in an attempt to convince her best friend.

'You do too?' Tom glanced at Keira who almost chocked on her wine.

'She does, she already made her choice,' answered Abby before Keira could herself. She avoided Keira's indignant glare and smiled happily at Tom again.

'Who?' Tom lifted his eyebrows and the fork he had raised was now floating in midair. He didn't even notice the piece of pizza falling off.

Abby avoided Keira's kick under the table and with a devilish grin on her face went to answer Tom. 'Vettel.'

He finally put his fork in his mouth and frowned when there was nothing on it anymore. 'Why Vettel?'

'Tell him Keir,' Abby grinned and gave Keira an encouraging push.

'You're evil,' Keira shot Abby her deadliest glare. 'I'm going to the bathroom,' she added. She wanted to escape this situation before she had to explain herself while they were all on the verge of being drunk.

She went inside the little restaurant and found the stairs that would lead her to the toilets. When she was done she washed her hands in the small sink and went to find something to dry her hands on. However they seemed to have ran out of towels, so she was left with wet hands. Grunting in displeasure she started to wipe her hands dry on her dress.

'Hi,' a voice suddenly said.

She hadn't heard someone coming in and she jumped back in surprise.

'I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you,' the voice said again.

Keira looked up to see who was the owner of this voice. His accent sounded vaguely familiar and when she saw the stranger's face she knew why. Her eyes widened and she was rooted to the ground, it was Fernando Alonso.

'I'm Fernando,' he said while holding out his hand for Keira to shake.

'Hi,' she said back in a small voice. She hadn't expected to meet a driver here in this restaurant and then especially the bathroom. Glad that she had dried her hands on her dress she shook his warm hand.

'Your name?' he asked with a wink and he leaned against the doorpost.

'Keira,' she muttered and she was wringing her hands nervously. He clearly knew that he was good looking and the mischievous smile that was playing on his lips revealed his confidence. In combination with the way he was now eying her up showed her he wasn't anything like Seb, as he had never looked at her in this way.

'Nice to meet you,' Fernando said and he leaned a little bit closer to Keira.

She was taken aback by this and quickly took a step back. He was way too forward with her, she thought. 'I have to go,' she stammered when he gave her that smile again and she made her way to the door.

'Maybe we'll meet again,' he grinned as he grabbed one of her hands when she walked past him. 'I certainly hope so,' he added and he took a step closer, so that his brown eyes were now staring directly into Keira's.

Trying not to blush she pulled her hand back and tried not to notice the sly smile that crept up on his face. She hushed out of the room and was finally able to breathe again when she had climbed the stairs and she was standing in the little corridor again. She straightened her dress and ran a hand through her hair, while her cheeks were still burning hot. Leaning against the wall she tried to digest the whole situation. What had just happened in that room?


	30. Trackside

It was almost midday and they had just entered the paddock. They needed at least three more sets of eyes to take in everything that was going on. It was exactly like it seemed on TV, only a bit smaller. Team personnel and drivers were passing by like it was nothing and a lot of media were following them. Thursday was always the media day, so there wouldn't be any track action yet. They were wandering around and just looking at everything was enough to raise their excitement.

'So, where do we go?' Abby asked the other two when they were standing between the motor homes.

Tom shrugged his shoulders and followed a cameraman with his eyes. 'I don't know,' he said.

'Let's just go to the pit lane and peek inside the garages?' Abby suggested and she spun around to find the right direction that would lead them to the pit lane.

'Yes, I want to see the cars!' Tom yelled and his eyes were sparkling.

'Alright, if that's what you all want,' Keira laughed and she put the sunglasses she was wearing on her head.

They walked between the motor homes until they found a spot where they could enter the pit lane. A lot of people were already there and were just like them interested in seeing the cars. They were at the end with the smaller teams and there it was noticeably quieter. The Marussia's were up on jacks and a few mechanics were laying underneath the cars.

'Look, real mechanics!' Tom pointed at them to make sure they wouldn't miss it.

'You're also a real mechanic,' Abby said sounding annoyed and she rolled her eyes before pulling Tom away from the garage.

'I am?' he asked in surprise. 'I guess I am,' he added proudly.

'Come on, there's more to see,' Keira yelled at them already being at the next garage. She was observing a few mechanics working on a nose and it was amazing to see how calm and collected they were with all these people walking past.

They enjoyed strolling through the pit lane and they spotted a lot of people they knew from TV. Tom almost got run in to by Ted Kravitz's cameraman and Ted was waving with his notebook to warn him. Keira and Abby had to restrain him several times when a driver walked past and they were having a lot of fun joking about the teams. It was only when they approached the Red Bull garage that Keira remembered that they still had to inform Tom about her, eh situation.

'By the way, Tom,' she began hesitantly, 'you remember that I said that there was more to the surprise?'

Tom stopped walking and Abby almost walked into him. 'Yes?' he said expectantly. He was looking like a little school boy with his big round eyes.

'There's something that I haven't told you, so I think it's time to do that now,' Keira said nervously staring at her feet. She tried to catch Abby's eyes to signal for help, Abby however was staring at something behind her.

'Go on,' Tom said quickly.

'The one who organised all of this is actual-,' Keira began before she was suddenly interrupted. She could feel a hand on her shoulder and she turned around in surprise.

'Hey Keir,' a familiar voice said. Seb was standing right behind them and was wearing his Red Bull gear. A big smile was visible on his face and he hadn't noticed that he had interrupted something.

Keira felt her heart starting to beat faster, it always was worse when he suddenly appeared like he had done now. She could only stare into his dreamy blue eyes and to be confronted with his smile out of nowhere made it hard to breath normally. Then she quickly remembered what he had interrupted and groaned when she turned towards Tom. She had to save this and she shot a panicked look to Abby, who was staring at Seb and didn't notice.

In the mean time Tom was looking at Seb in shock, then turned his head towards Keira and then looked back at Seb. 'You told me you didn't sleep with drivers!' he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Keira felt her heart drop to the floor and all the colour drained out of her face. He had not just shouted that and all the people definitely hadn't stopped walking and were now staring at them. She turned her head towards Seb to see what he was thinking and she could see he was utterly surprised by Tom. The shocked look on his face was something she hadn't seen much before and she didn't know what to say to him. This was definitely not what she had intended their first meeting to be, this was also not a subject to discuss with Seb at all and she could feel her face reddening.

Seb came to his senses again and a smile was back on his face. 'Nice to meet you then, Tom wasn't it?' he held out his hand.

Tom shook his hand while still looking like he had been struck by lightning. 'Hi,' he said shyly.

'By the way, I'm not sleeping with your friend,' he grinned and he looked sideways to meet Keira's eyes.

She gave him a small smile and took a deep breath. Luckily he had taken Tom's outburst very lightly and she hoped from now on everything would go smoothly.

'You're not?' Tom replied suspiciously.

'Definitely not,' Seb chuckled and he put his hands into his pockets. 'You must be Abby,' he said while turning to Abby who was lingering behind them.

'Nice to meet you,' she answered and her eyes were still glued to his face.

Keira could see that Abby finally understood what she had told her about Seb. She was also captured by his eyes and she could see her goggle when he smiled at her. She grinned, because it was not often that Abby was silenced by a guy.

'You didn't tell me he was this good looking,' she hissed at Keira while lowering her voice so that the boys couldn't hear her.

'I did, only you never wanted to believe me,' Keira hissed back and her eyes were still on Seb.

'What about a tour around the Red Bull garage?' Seb asked while pointing at the garage behind them. He jokingly put his hat on Keira's head and chuckled at her surprised face. 'Come on,' he gestured them to follow him.

They all followed him in silence, Tom and Abby too astonished to produce words. Keira was the only one who was able to communicate so she quickened her pace to walk next to Seb.

'You're timing was perfect,' she sighed. 'I was just telling him about you, but you interrupted me before I could explain,' she added with an accusing stare.

He shrugged his shoulders and grinned, while greeting some people inside the garage. 'I thought it was funny, don't worry,' he said while grabbing her hand briefly and letting go before anyone could notice.

Seb introduced them to several people and it seemed like they were only shaking hands, because new people kept suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Tom had finally been able to speak and talking to several mechanics had turned him into his old self again. The shock was wearing off and it had turned into excitement when the mechanics were showing them parts on the car. The mechanics and Seb included were all kind of surprised by the interest of the three of them. They were used to guests in the garage, but normally they weren't really interested in the car at all. Clearly they were enjoying finally being able to discuss the finer details of their job and the trio couldn't stop asking questions.

Keira was discussing brakes with the number one mechanic on Seb's car at the moment, but she followed Seb in the corner of her eye. He had explained that he had several commitments, but that he would catch up with them later. It was really fascinating to see him so concentrated and interacting with people, it was all so natural. With a lot of effort she tore her eyes away from Seb and focussed on her conversation again. It was great that they were all so willing to answer their questions and take time to explain things. The Red Bull guys and girls were a nice bunch and she could clearly understand why Seb liked the team so much. Although winning championships back to back with the team might had something to do with it as well.

\---------

Keira, Abby and Tom were currently sitting in the Red Bull energy station and were enjoying a drink. None of them had wanted to touch a Red Bull, because it wasn't far off from being liquid cancer. Instead they were drinking white wine and were discussing their day in the garage. Tom couldn't stop talking about some particular part in the suspension, because it was something he was also working on with some of his colleagues.

'Look, Seb is here,' Abby interrupted Tom and pointed at the entrance of the energy station.

Seb indeed was standing in the doorway and was talking to Heikki about some changes in his diet plan. He had spotted Keira and her friends sitting at one of the tables and he was impatient with Heikki because he wanted to ask them how their day had been.

'I can handle it Heikki, just give me the new plan and I'll make it work,' he said in an annoyed voice while peering over his shoulder every few seconds.

'You said that last time and you ended up eating chips, remember?' Heikki was not fooled by Seb's behaviour and was not letting him go yet.

'That was one time,' he said indignantly and in the mean time signed a few autographs for people.

'Tommy told me a lot of things, I know everything,' Heikki said in a warning tone and he pointed his finger at the sheet in his hands. 'You better listen to me this time or it'll be no pasta this weekend!'

'You're being unfair,' he sulked and he took the sheet form Heikki. With a sigh he read the first few lines and was not at all happy with what it said. 'You'll turn me into a rabbit.'

'Remember I'm paid to keep you in shape, there are no limits to my abilities,' he grinned and with a little wave he walked away, leaving a disgruntled Seb behind.

Heikki must be joking, he didn't like his last diet plan and he certainly didn't like this one. It had been a long day and the only thing he wanted to do know was to eat a large plate of pasta. Of course that wasn't allowed and while still feeling annoyed he made his way over to Keira and her friends. They were happily discussing their day he heard and he was glad that they seemed to have liked the garage experience.

Hey,' he said while sitting down in the empty chair beside Keira.

'Long day?' Keira asked while giving him a sympathetic smile.

'It's more the fact the media all ask the same five questions,' he said while putting Heikki's sheets on the table.

'That sounds like fun,' Abby grinned and she tried to read what was written on the sheets.

'I would even be glad if they asked which colour I have painted my walls,' he sighed and he tiredly ran his fingers through his hair. He knew it was part of the job to answer all their questions, but why they all had to ask the same questions that was a mystery to him.

'Who would be interested in that?' Tom asked while lifting an eyebrow.

'I don't know, but asking me if I think I can still win the title this year is also not very interesting. I give them the same answer every time, if it's still mathematically possible, then yes I think I can still win it.'

They all agreed and the conversation went back to discussing what they had learned in the garage. Seb was surprisingly able to take part in the conversation and he showed them that he did have a technical insight. Tom was mostly impressed and Keira and Abby could only laugh at Tom's eager face whenever he asked Seb a question.

'Do you want to go out for dinner?' Seb asked the others and he looked firstly at Keira. He wanted to make sure that she wanted to come and he wanted to see her reaction.

Her eyes lit up when he asked the question and she looked at the others. 'I think that would be nice, guys?' she directed the last part of her sentence at her friends and they nodded in reply.

'That's settled then,' he said while smiling at Keira. He had missed spending time with Keira, but it was weird to have her here at a race. Also weird to not have her on her own and to see her interact with her friends. She seemed happy and it provided some good opportunities to watch her laugh and play with her hands without her noticing him.

'Are we dressed alright?' Abby grinned and she tugged on her shirt.

'You all look fine, now let's go,' he grinned and he pulled Keira out of her chair. The contact with her skin shot a shiver up his spine and he quickly let go when she was on her feet. He could feel that familiar feeling inside his stomach that would appear whenever he was close to her.

On their way out they said goodbye to several people and Seb was being held longer because of the many autographs he had to sign. With the media duties over it was a lot quieter in the paddock and only a few people were walking around.

'Hey, Kimi,' Seb yelled at a darkly dressed figure coming out of the Lotus motor home. He hadn't spoken to him yet today and he wanted to ask him about how his talk had gone with Éric Boullier. Kimi was a no nonsense guy and that sometimes clashed with what the team principal expected of him.

Kimi had spotted Seb and waited for them to catch up. 'Hey,' he said to Seb and his blank face then turned towards the other three.

Knowing that Kimi was not a man of many words, Seb interpreted that expression as confusion. 'These are my friends Keira, Abby and Tom. They're all engineers so I'll be showing them around this weekend,' he said happily pointing them all out.

Kimi's expression hadn't changed and he just shrugged. 'OK,' was his answer.

'How was your talk today with Éric?' Seb asked while trying to see Kimi's eyes through his sunglasses. Why did he always wear sunglasses even when it wasn't necessary?

'OK, I guess,' he shrugged again and was clearly not fazed by having to report to his boss.

'What did he want?'

'If I can be less rude,' Kimi answered bluntly and he adjusted the cap on his head.

Seb laughed and envied his friend for being this honest with people. He liked the rudeness about Kimi because he would always tell things they way they were. It also made him keep his feet on the ground and he was thankful for that.

'I can't help it if they ask stupid questions,' Kimi added and he scratched his neck. His Iceman tattoo was visible when he did that and Abby and Keira were staring at it with interest.

Seb shook his head and grinned. 'Never change Kimi, never change,' he said and he patted his friend on his back. 'Good luck tomorrow and I'll see you around.'

'You too,' Kimi answered with the hint of a smile and he gave a little nod towards the others before leaving in the opposite direction.

'He's a man of many words,' Tom said while still staring at Kimi. He had been extremely cool, maybe that was the effect the Iceman had on people.

'He only uses as much words as he needs,' Seb grinned.

'It's fascinating how much you can understand without him talking to you,' Abby said with a pensive look on her face.

'Years of experience,' he chuckled and he started walking again. 'At least you have met the Iceman now,' he said as if that was a high point on everyone's bucket list.

'He hasn't changed at all since his days at McLaren,' Keira grinned and she looked at Tom to get confirmation.

Hearing her talk about Kimi in his McLaren days was strange. 'I always forget that you used to watch Formula 1,' Seb said with a frown on his forehead.

'I've seen Michael win his seventh title, so you still have some work to do,' Keira chuckled and she gave him a playful push.

He felt his shoulders drop a little and a sinking feeling in his stomach reminded him of this year's championship. 'I'm working on it,' he sighed. Stupid Fernando. Stupid Fernando. Stupid Ferrari. Stupid Fernando. He kicked angrily against a stone and watched it bounce against the Ferrari motor home, which made him smile.

'Don't worry, even if you don't win this year, you'll still have your two titles. More than most people,' Keira said in a soft voice and her hand briefly touched Seb's arm.

She always was able to make him feel better and the knot in his stomach loosed. He looked at her perfect face and her hair was blowing slightly in the evening breeze. She looked even better than he had remembered, maybe that was because of the change of scenery or maybe even because she had been so happy all day. He knew he would have to make her this happy more often and with a little smile he caught her beautiful green eyes.


	31. Communication

With a smile still on her face Keira woke up, she had been dreaming about her being a F1 driver and she had just won her first race before she was rudely woken by Tom jumping on her bed.

'Wake up, it's almost time to leave!' he yelled while pulling on her sheets. Already dressed and clearly ready to go he tried to get Keira out of bed.

She pulled the pillow over her head to block out the bright light. She grabbed her phone from the night stand to check the time. 'We have an hour left,' she groaned and threw her pillow at Tom.

Tom caught it with a big smile on his face before sitting down on the bed. 'But you girls always take hours to get ready, so I thought I would help,' he said still smiling.

'Other girls do, I only take maximum fifteen minutes to get dressed and stuff,' Keira said still half asleep. Going back to sleep was not an option anymore and she cursed Tom under her breath.

'You'll have time enough to get ready then,' Tom said and he tried to make it sound as if that was a good thing. He threw back Keira's sheets and got up from the bed, leaving a very disgruntled Keira behind.

'Thanks a million,' she yelled at him when he left the room. Tom gave her a innocent smile and closed the door behind him.

Now that she was up it was no use to keep laying in bed, so she swung her legs over the edge to get out. Rummaging in her suitcase to find some clothes she found her Alonso hat again. With a smile she put it on her head and looked at herself in the mirror. Yes, Seb would definitely not like this and she grinned. She decided on a pair of jeans and a top, because she wasn't sure if a dress was really appropriate for today. Also she liked to be comfortable and a pair of jeans definitely were the way to go then.

'You look the perfect Ferrari fan,' Abby grinned when Keira walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in her hands.

'That's what I was going for,' Keira answered and she put on her pair of sunglasses and pouted her lips. This completed her look of being a rich woman who loved Ferrari, but knew nothing about the team except they were dressed in red.

'Seb will hate you, you know that right?' Tom had raised his eyebrows and was sitting on the edge of the table while eating a croissant.

Keira shrugged her shoulders and also grabbed a croissant. 'Hang on, how did we get these?' she said with a puzzled look on her face while staring at her croissant. She couldn't remember them buying them or being in the room. Not that she minded, because croissants were probably her favourite food to start the day with.

Tom pointed to a cart that was standing in the hall way. 'Room service suddenly appeared,' he grinned. 'Must be your friend,' he added with a wink.

Abby agreed with Tom and dipped her croissant into her coffee, very un-French like. 'He knows you very well, sending croissants and stuff.'

'Apparently,' Keira replied and made a mental note to thank Seb later. He really had thought of everything and she was curious what more surprises Seb would come up with this weekend.

They sat chatting for a while and eating all the other twelve croissants, because it would be a waste to leave them go to waste. Yesterday had been a whole new experience for them all and hearing the cars on track had made their ears bleed. Luckily Seb had arranged ear plugs, so they were protected against the noise. On Thursday evening during dinner Seb had told them that he wouldn't expect to be as competitive as the McLarens and the Ferraris this weekend. Because Monza was a power dependent circuit and everyone knew the Renault engine lacked top speed, so it would be difficult to keep up with the rest. It had shown in practice yesterday, neither Red Bull had managed to get into the top ten and they knew today wouldn't be much better. Therefore they were discussing who would qualify on pole today. Tom was sure that Hamilton would get it, while Abby went for Alonso because of the Tifosi.

'It gives you at least a few tenths,' Tom agreed with Abby and he put down his empty mug.

'What about Räikkönen?' Keira suggested as she didn't want to exclude her old favourite driver.

'Hmm, the Lotus seems fast indeed, but for some reason they are never able to turn it into a result,' Tom answered while rubbing his chin. 'I don't think they'll be able to snatch pole from a fast Lewis Hamilton.'

'Button then?' Abby's eyes lit up when she remembered the British driver. Yesterday she had spotted Jenson walking with his suit half down and since then she had taken an interest in him, to the annoyance of Tom.

'Also a good choice,' Tom nodded appreciatively.

'We'll find out this afternoon,' Keira said and she adjusted her hat. 'At least someone will qualify on pole,' she grinned.

'Smartass,' Abby rolled her eyes and they all laughed.

\----------

The paddock was buzzing, the motor homes were full of people who had popped in for lunch and the sun was shining brightly. Anticipation filled the air and it was clear that everybody expected a close qualifying battle. In third practice there had been only thousands between Alonso and Hamilton and that made the Tifosi hopeful and very loud.

'It's amazing how good care Red Bull takes of all their guests,' Abby looked at her empty plate and then up to the other people in the motor home. They were all chatting happily and everybody seemed to enjoy their lunch.

'I don't mind,' grinned Tom and he also cleared his plate.

Keira sipped on her white wine and looked away from the group of Red Bull personnel she had been staring at. 'Especially when it's Italian food,' she agreed with Tom. She could happily get accustomed to this kind of food, it was better than she was able to produce.

'We can go by the other motor homes to see what they serve their people?' Tom suggested with a smirk. 'We don't have to go inside, just look at what people are eating and if something looks better, make Seb take us there tomorrow,' Tom made himself clear when he had spotted the faces of Keira and Abby.

'If they serve pizza somewhere, then that's where I am tomorrow,' Abby said and her eyes glazed over when she was thinking about pizza. She clearly had a slight obsession and didn't let a chance to eat it go by.

'We'll see, let's go,' Tom signalled to the two girls and they all went outside again.

'They're all serving pasta,' Abby pouted as they had walked past several of the motor homes.

'I think pizza isn't the same level of finesse as lobster and champagne, I guess,' Keira chuckled and she gave her friend a pat out of pity.

'Why does everything have to revolve around money?' Abby said in disgruntlement and she put her sunglasses on her head. Her eyes were narrowed and she was stretching her head to look inside the Lotus garage. 'Pasta again,' she exclaimed.

Tom and Keira both laughed at Abby's frustration and they put their arms around her shoulders. They often walked like this and it had taken a bit of practice to keep the right pace and not wipe out any other people. When they passed by the Ferrari motor home Keira suddenly crossed eyes with someone she had met before. His brown eyes locked with hers and a smile appeared on his face when he recognised her. He said something to the person he had been talking to and made his way over to the group.

Keira felt her heart starting to pound when she noticed him walking into their direction. What was he doing, why was he coming over? She tried to control her breathing and let her arm slip from Abby's shoulder. Abby shot her a quizzical look and Tom was goggling when he spotted Alonso.

'Keira, wasn't it?' Alonso spoke when he was standing in front of Keira. His wavy hair and his stubble were a bit longer than normal, but it was looking good on him. With a wink and a broad smile he made himself look even more attractive.

Keira couldn't look away and she had to agree that he knew how to present himself. 'Hi,' she said and hoped she didn't sound like an idiot. To make sure that was the case she gave him a small smile. She ignored the pokes from Abby and Tom, because she knew they didn't understand the situation. She hadn't told them about her encounter with Alonso the other night and she had hoped she never had to.

'I see you are supporting me,' Alonso pointed at Keira's hat. 'Good choice,' he said appreciatively.

'Actually, she's suppo-,' Tom began, but Keira stood on his foot to make him shut his mouth.

'Not now,' she hissed so that Alonso couldn't see or hear it. He was not going to ruin this too, like he had done with Sebastian. She didn't know what she had to say to Alonso, but it looked like he wasn't expecting her to say something anyway.

'I'm glad we meet again,' he said with that broad smile again. He fixed his hair and scratched his neck, obviously to show off his muscles. 'I have been thinking about you,' he winked again and this time it was a significant one.

Shocked by what he had said Keira felt her cheeks turning red. His eyes were still fixed on hers and a sly smile was playing on his lips. He was as forward now as he had been at the restaurant and it was difficult to get her head around his intentions.

Noticing her blushing, Alonso took a step closer to Keira. 'Maybe you want to go out for a drink tonight?' he asked confidently and he flashed his white teeth. He grabbed her hand again and made sure this time she couldn't pull it away.

Keira froze when she heard the question, this wasn't happening. Alonso the double world champion was asking her out for a drink? Why on earth was he doing that and he was looking at her again in that way he also done in the restaurant. Her eyes lingered on his strong arms and she debated with herself if she even wanted to go out with him. Of course he was good looking and that Spanish temperament was something that she liked, but she didn't know him at all. Also what on earth was she going to tell her friends if she did, they would never stop teasing her again. On the other hand she had missed going out, being here in Italy had reminded her of life in college where they had gone out on a regular basis. She couldn't remember the last time she had gone out with a guy and maybe it was time to step outside her comfort zone and just do things when the opportunity came along.

'Yes, I would like to,' she tried to sound confident and she threw her long hair over her shoulders. She noticed Alonso checking her out and it somehow felt good to be noticed by someone. Now all her injuries were almost all gone she didn't feel the need to hide anymore. It had been a long time since she had felt confident enough to show her body in something other than a thick layer of clothes and also to not cringe whenever someone looked at her.

'Great,' Alonso said and his mouth curved into a smile. He ran his hand through his wavy hair, making sure that Keira noticed him and then winked again.

They exchanged phone numbers and Alonso told her where to meet him and how late she had to be there. It was all going so quickly and before Keira knew he had said goodbye and winked again before walking off. She just had enough time to wish him good luck in qualifying and then was suddenly brought back to the present. With a quick look she checked both Abby and Tom, she had forgotten about them for a brief moment and they both were staring at her with wide eyes and open mouths. She clearly had some explaining to do.

'With how many drivers are you actually sleeping?' Tom had folded his arms and a line appeared between his brows. It sounded accusing and he tapped his foot on the floor showing his disapproval.

'None, I swear,' Keira tried to explain herself. She understood that it looked kind of sketchy, but she herself knew that nothing had happened. Also that nothing of that kind would ever happen, she would not let it get that far.

'How on earth do you know Alonso?' Abby asked while still staring at the space where Alonso had disappeared to. 'Seb I can understand because you live in the same town, but Fernando?' she even sounded a bit jealous.

Keira stared at her friends' faces and thought of something to explain. 'I met Fernando in the restaurant on Thursday, but we didn't even have a real conversation,' she said in an unsure voice. 'Honestly,' she added with a stronger voice. It was a word she had been using a lot lately and she blamed Seb for it, he always slipped it into a conversation.

'Why didn't you tell us?' Tom said accusingly. 'Also, what's Seb going to say about this?' a smirk appeared on his face and he was already less angry.

Keira suddenly froze, shit Seb, she hadn't thought about that. How on earth was she going to explain to him that she was going out with his biggest rival? He had told her many times how arrogant and annoying he thought Fernando was. Especially when he had once again told the media that he didn't think Seb was any good, that it was all the car Newey had designed. She suddenly felt guilty and cursed herself for not thinking about that before, but Fernando had came out of nowhere and had been so direct that she hadn't had time to think about anything else than him.

'Oh look who's coming,' Abby pointed at something behind Keira and a devilish smile appeared on her face. She waved and then looked back at Keira with a smug face.

'Hey, I was looking for you,' Seb said cheerfully. He was already wearing his race suit, but the top half was down, like they often did when not in the car.

'Hi,' Keira said nervously and she was almost too afraid to look at him. Her stomach churned and she was feeling even more guilty than before when she caught sight of those blue eyes.

'Looking forward to qualy?' Abby asked.

'Not really, it's not our battle today. If we qualify in the top ten that's the best we can do I guess,' he sighed and his smile faded a little.

'There's always the race,' Tom tried to cheer him up and he was still giving Keira accusing stares when Seb wasn't looking.

'True, let's hope it's a good one,' he said and a corner of his mouth lifted. 'Want to go out for dinner again tonight?' he asked on a happier note. He fiddled with the sleeves of his race suit and ignored the photographer who was taking photos of him.

'We would love too,' Abby said while giving Keira a knowing look.

Keira knew that Abby wasn't going to let this go and knowing she loved to stir things up didn't bode well for Keira keeping this from Seb.

'Only Keira has to leave _early,_ ' Abby made sure to lay focus on her last word. 'We have all evening though,' she added before turning her head back to Seb and giving him a smile.

Seb clearly didn't understand what she had meant and was now looking at Keira with his eyebrows raised. 'Why?'

Seeing his blue eyes look in to hers this intently made Keira shiver and her already dry throat made it hard to swallow. He was looking very handsome, although he was wearing his race suit at the moment. The fireproof underwear was very tight and it showed off his body perfectly. She could see a whole lot more of his body shape, because the shirts he normally wore weren't this tight fitted. It looked very good on him and she kept staring at his chest, to avoid having to meet his eyes.

'She's going out tonight for drinks, aren't you Keir?' Abby said with glittering eyes and she clearly enjoyed teasing Keira. She knew Keira wasn't going to tell Seb herself, so somebody else had to do it.

'You are?' Seb looked surprised, but also a bit hurt. The smile that had been on his face had disappeared and he was now just staring blankly at Keira. 'With who?' he then asked slowly. It was clear that he wasn't going to like any answer that they would give him.

Abby shrugged her shoulders and twirled her hair. 'Oh, Alonso,' she said sounding like it was no big deal at all.

In response to that they all turned their heads towards Seb, to see how he would react.


	32. Drinks

'You're going out with _fucking_ Alonso?!' Seb yelled with an incredibly hurt look on his face. There was no hint of a smile visible anymore and his mouth had set in a hard line.

Keira only looked down at the ground, observing the cracks that had appeared over the years. Abby was now looking at Seb, clearly not expecting him to be this angry. She appeared a bit uncomfortable with the situation and wanted to say something, but nothing came out of her mouth.

The silence was enough confirmation for Seb, he first had thought he had heard them incorrectly. However them not objecting to what he had just said was enough to show him that they indeed meant Fernando. Of all the people in the paddock it had to be fucking Fernando, great. He looked at Keira, but she was still looking down at the ground, clearly not wanting to look at him. Her long brown hair was covering her face and her hat was now even more noticeable. Forza Alonso, fucking great again.

'So that's why you're wearing that hat?' Seb said pointing at Keira's head.

Keira now finally had found enough courage to look up. 'No, it isn't,' she said timidly and she quickly took of the hat, stuffing it into her bag.

'I thought you were wearing it as a joke, but clearly there's _more_ going on,' he sounded bitter and he was now staring at the bag the hat had disappeared to.

How had this even happened? She never even mentioned Fernando and he didn't know how she did know him. Clearly she did know him, because they were going out, the two of them. He felt his stomach lurch when he imagined them sitting close together and Keira laughing at a joke Fernando had just made. It was because he was his biggest rival that he didn't want her to go out with him, he told himself when he felt that sickening feeling in his stomach. They were supposed to be friends and now she was suddenly consorting with the enemy. An image in his head had appeared where Fernando was holding Keira's hand and was pushing her hair out of her face, while looking at her with that cocky smile of his. He felt nauseous and it felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. It was just because they were friends, he told himself, it had nothing to do with her looking at someone else with her beautiful eyes. Clearly not, he didn't mind her going out with someone, it was just that he felt this way because it was Fernando.

'I had this hat before all of this happened,' Keira said with a small voice and she was tugging on her hair what showed that she was nervous.

'That's true,' Abby agreed and she nodded. 'Also it was just intended as a joke,' she tried to help her friend. She had created this situation, so she also needed to fix this. Seb had taken it much worse than she had expected him to do, clearly there was something going on between him and Keira.

'I just don't understand how you could do this to me, you could have chosen anyone but him!' Seb yelled again and sadness clouded his features. He was never able to look at Fernando again in the same way as before, this was another reason to beat his Spanish butt on track.

'I didn't think about it,' Keira said and guilt was visible on her face. Her eyes glistened and the confidence that had built up when Alonso had been talking to her had completely disappeared. She looked smaller and she was squeezing her hands.

Seb's eyes narrowed and he bit his lip angrily. 'It's good to hear how important your friends are to you,' he spat and he almost pulled out a chunk of his hair when he ran his fingers angrily through it.

'I'm sorry,' Keira said pleadingly and her green eyes were now fixed on Seb's blue ones.

'I'll see you tomorrow at the race,' Seb said with a surprisingly soft voice. The anger had disappeared from his face and what was left was hurt and disappointment. He felt the knot in his stomach tighten again when she looked at him like this. He knew he couldn't stay angry with her, even if he wanted to, but he was still not ready to forgive her. The feeling when he thought about her spending tonight with Fernando and knowing how direct he was with girls made him want to punch Fernando in the face. Luckily he was nowhere to be seen and that made him keep his composure, for now.

'Good luck in qualifying,' with still those pleading eyes Keira tried to make contact with Seb.

The others also wished him luck and Keira felt Abby's arm around her shoulders. Seb only nodded in reply and turned around to go back inside the Red Bull garage.

\----------

Keira was currently trying to figure out where exactly she had to go, Fernando had explained where she had to go, but her Italian wasn't that brilliant unfortunately. Walking through the streets of the small town made her appreciate the Italian culture even more, they were welcoming to everyone and they just seemed like nice people. All the small streets looked the same however and luckily a helpful local had pointed her into the right direction so she had to be close now. Walking in heels was not ideal on these small stones, but the more she walked on them the better it went. She switched her bag to her other hand, so that she was able to grab her phone. Sadly there were no new messages and although she hadn't expected Seb to text her at all, she still was disappointed by the lack of communication. She knew she had hurt him, but he hadn't given her an opportunity to fix the situation and now she was still feeling guilty.

When she put her phone away she thought about Fernando's message she had received before she had left the hotel again. He had sent her a photo of himself with the caption that he was thinking about her and looking forward to tonight. She had been staring at the photo for at least a few minutes and he had been looking hot, clearly fresh out of the shower and not wearing a shirt. She wasn't used to get photos like this and she made sure to never show it to Abby or anyone else for that matter. Fernando kept surprising her as he was so different from any guy she had been with, but his eyes and smile weren't on the same level as Seb's. She found herself comparing Fernando to Seb once again and she was irritated with herself for doing that. It was time to stop thinking about Seb and focusing on Fernando and enjoying this night.

'You came,' Fernando said with a smile when Keira had made her way to the bar where he was sitting already. 'I was getting worried,' he grinned and he winked when he saw her looking startled.

'I got lost,' she tried to explain herself and she took of her jacket. Making sure her dress was still covering everything that it needed to she sat down next to Fernando. Still a bit nervous she turned her head to him and smiled.

'I can understand that, I have done that myself many times,' he said and he signed to the barman to order some drinks. 'Complications of the job, travelling all over the world to unknown destinations,' he added while putting his hand on Keira's.

She felt herself blush at his touch and she didn't pull her hand away, instead she looked at Fernando ordering drinks. He hadn't asked her what she wanted, so she just had to guess what she would get. She didn't really mind, as long as he wasn't getting her drunk, she would be happy. Her eyes were still lingering on his face, but she quickly looked at the rest of his body before he could catch her staring at him. He was wearing light jeans and a burgundy coloured shirt, what looked better on him than the bright red from Ferrari. His clothes were a lot tighter than the ones Seb wore and therefore it was hard not to notice his body shape.

'You like what you see?' Fernando had noticed her staring at him and he stretched to show even more of himself. His sly smile was back on his face and he nonchalantly ruffled his hair.

Instantly turning red she tried to laugh it off. 'We're never able to really see all of you when you're wearing your race suits,' she said to explain herself.

'Luckily you're able to see it now,' he winked and he passed her one of the drinks he had ordered. 'Which other drivers are you looking at then? I was hoping it's only me,' he said flirtatiously and he picked up his own non-alcoholic drink.

'Just you,' she grinned while images of Seb were popping up in her head. She felt herself blushing again, but she wasn't going to tell him that she knew Seb, because he probably also wouldn't like to hear that.  

'Good,' he nodded appreciatively and he leaned his arms on the bar. 'Did you enjoy qualifying?' he asked.

'Yes,' she smiled when she remembered the session. 'Although it was a pity that you had car problems, I was sure you would have been on pole otherwise,' she said sympathetically before she took a sip of her drink. The alcohol was burning her throat, but at least it made her feel more confident than she normally was.

His smile faded slightly, but he quickly plastered one back on when he caught her eyes. 'Not ideal, but the race is tomorrow. I'm sure I can fight back from tenth,' he sounded confident and a fire was visible in his eyes. 'We Spaniards do not give up,' he added with a grin.

'I'm sure you can, let's hope it all works out tomorrow,' she said in an attempt to encourage him.

'At least Vettel is starting sixth, that means I can beat him easily this race. That's the most important thing this race, I need to increase my lead again,' this time his voice sounded a bit harder and his eyes had darkened a bit.

Keira felt her stomach lurch when he mentioned Seb, it was strange to hear someone talk about Seb in this way. Of course Seb had done the same when talking about Fernando, but somehow it stung when Fernando did it. Trying to hide her feelings she just nodded and smiled.

'I will definitely beat him this year, don't worry,' he interpreted her smile wrongly and he clenched his fist to show he was ready to take on the fight. His eyes were now resting on Keira's chest and he made no effort to hide it.

She felt a bit uncomfortable when she noticed him staring, Seb never did something like this and David had stopped doing that a long time ago. With that smile still on her face she moved on her seat so that she was now facing the bar, hiding her body from Fernando.

'Tell me something about yourself,' he asked. 'I know you're beautiful, so something else please,' he added with a mischievous smile and it was clear that he was trying to flirt.

What was she going to tell him? Not about Seb and not about David, so what else was left to say, she thought. She played with her hair while being in thought and stared at the barman who was preparing one of many drinks.

'Start with where you're from, because your accent is funny,' he tried to start the conversation again and he was now looking at her eyes again. His head was leaning on his arm and he glowed with confidence.

'Northern Ireland,' she grinned. Not many people could place her accent, they knew she wasn't from England, but they couldn't guess what else it could be.

'Never been there,' he answered and his white teeth were visible when he smiled

'I've never been to Spain,' she admitted while playing with the empty glass on the bar.

'You haven't?' he had raised his eyebrows and shook his head. 'It's the best country in the world, you should visit some time.'

'I would love to, sadly the opportunity never came up,' she shrugged her shoulders apologetically.

Fernando took the next hour to tell her about Spain and all the places Keira should visit. His eyes lit up when he talked about his home country and he surprisingly knew a lot about the history. Being temperamental he used his hands a lot when talking and he was doing a good job at making Keira laugh and enjoy the evening. On her turn she told him about her own country, how it was basically still at war, although violence was at its lowest point right now. Of course there were still killings every week, especially in her hometown Belfast, but they had grown up with it and were so kind of used to it.

Keira had always been interested in the Troubles (the name they gave to the war in Northern Ireland) as her parents grew up during the most violent years. Her parents also were an example that love could overcome anything, because they were both on opposite sides. Her father was a catholic and her mother a protestant and therefore were not allowed to see each other. It had taken them a lot of courage and disapproval of their families to stay in their relationship, but they always stuck together and that had resulted in their family. Despite the killings and terrorist attacks, which had brought her parents so much fear, they had chosen to fight for what they believed was important. It was because of this war that her parents had swore off religion and had given their children the opportunity to choose for themselves. Keira was thankful to be given that opportunity and always saw her parents as people to look up to, she wished she could be like them one day.

'Look at the time!' Keira checked her watch and saw that is was already very late. She had promised Abby and Tom to be back on time and she didn't want to upset her friends anymore than she had already done today.

'You're right,' Fernando said when he checked his own, very expensive, watch. 'I have a race to win tomorrow,' he grinned and he tried to fix his hair.

'Yes, so I'm going back to the hotel then,' Keira said and she searched for her bag. She located it under her chair and picked it up.

'I'll walk you out then,' he offered his hand for Keira to grab and stood up himself.

With slight hesitation she took his hand and let him lead her to the exit. She was still not comfortable with people touching her, David's face always came up and she was fighting to get that image out of her head. She had started over and not everyone was like David, she thought. Other people should at least be given an opportunity to gain her trust.

When they stood outside they were alone for the first time this evening. It made Keira feel a bit uncomfortable and she darted her eyes around the street to spot someone else. However there was no one and the silence made her turn back to Fernando.

'I had a good time this evening,' Fernando began and he was still holding Keira's hand. He took a step closer to her and he was now so close that he could feel her breathing on his skin. His eyes locked with hers and he made sure not to look away.

'Me too,' she stammered, not knowing what to do when he was standing this close to her. Her heart was racing once again and she could only focus on his lips, which he had just licked and were very close to hers right now.

'Would you mind if I-,' he took another step closer to her and used his hand to cup her face, 'kiss you,' he finished his sentence and his lips were now dangerously close to Keira's.

Before she could process his words his lips had brushed against hers and the touch made her shiver. She almost forgot to breath and when he pressed his lips very gently against hers she really forgot to breath. It took her a few seconds to realise what was happening but then kissed him back cautiously. His lips were very soft and when his tongue pushed against hers she went along with what he wanted. He had wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her closer against his body, which resulted in Keira placing her hands on his back. The kiss was gentle and they both didn't feel the need to rush it, but also didn't feel the need to let go. Keira's heart was pounding in her chest and when she finally let go she felt lightheaded. They locked eyes and his signature sly smile was playing on Fernando's lips again. He stroke her cheek slowly and then moved his fingers up to run them through Keira's hair before he leant in to kiss her again.


	33. Race

They were sitting in the Red Bull garage and were waiting for the race to start. Seb had just came by looking completely in the zone and they all had wished him luck. That's all what they had seen of Seb since their last conversation and although he had been smiling, it was clear that he still hadn't forgotten what had happened the day before.

'He isn't very happy with you,' Tom suggested and he took of the Red Bull headphones he had been wearing.

'It's my own fault,' Keira sighed and she also took of her headphones so that she could hear him better. They had been given them by the team and they could listen as to what was going on and it also protected them from the noise.

'I can't really say I agree with you, going out with Alonso is always a good thing,' Abby grinned while keeping her voice down. Other people in the garage wouldn't be too happy if they heard them discussing how much they liked him.

Keira felt her cheeks turning pink when she thought about last night. 'It was a good thing, that's not what I meant,' she said and she suddenly felt Fernando's touch again, making her shiver. She had been thinking about yesterday all this morning and she couldn't help but feel really cheerful.

'Alright, now tell us what happened last night. We don't buy your story of only talking,' Abby was studying Keira's face and a twinkle appeared in her eyes. 'Come on, enlighten us!'

Her face was now burning and she knew they would guess what had happened and that was not what she wanted at all. She was sure that when Abby knew what had happened, Seb would know as soon as she could tell him. Not wanting Seb to know made her keep this from her friends and it was hard to do that, because normally they shared anything about subjects like these. However she didn't want to upset Seb any further, because he was the only thing she had back home and she hated the distance between them. She had felt rather lost when she had looked at him and she had not seen his blue eyes sparkle, not seen that breathtaking smile of his and also not seen him mess up his hair once. That was her Seb and that Seb was perfect, she hated herself for making that Seb go away.

'He asked you out again, didn't he?' Tom wiggled his eyebrows and turned his chair so that he was able to face Keira.

'Yes,' she sighed because she was not able to deny that.

'Oh, what did you say?' Abby's eyes had lit up and she was leaning closer to Keira, so that she wouldn't miss what she was going to reply.

'That I would think about it,' Keira said while she pushed her hair behind her ear. She always did that when she was nervous because it gave her something to do.

'You're mad!' Abby gasped and she threw her hands in the air. 'Why didn't you say yes?' her eyes were wide and she clearly thought Keira had made a huge mistake.

'Is it because of Seb?' Tom said and he shot a knowing look at Keira, who made an effort to act like she hadn't noticed him.

'I don't want to upset anyone, Seb is my friend and he hates Fernando.'

'Or is it because you like Seb more than Fernando?' Abby chuckled and she knew that she was on to something when Keira turned bright red.

'No, I don't like Seb in that way, we're just friends,' Keira exclaimed and a few other guests were now staring at her because it had came out a bit louder than she had intended.

'Keep telling yourself that,' Tom grinned. 'Quite the flirt you are, you've got yourself two Formula 1 drivers. Not too shabby if you ask me.'

'Shut it,' Keira gave Tom a kick and her eyes shot fire. She quickly checked if anyone else had heard and pushed Abby who had almost collapsed in a fit of laughter.

It took a few seconds for Abby to recover and when she finally did she turned her head back to Keira. 'I think if Fernando had kissed you, you definitely wouldn't have said no,' she said with a smug face.

She couldn't do anything to stop it as Keira turned bright red. It looked like she almost had escaped it, but of course Abby knew how to get information out of her. She was able to do that to everyone and it was a skill she happily made use of. With a feeling of panic inside she quickly bent over to grab her bag from the floor, she would do anything for them not to notice. However both Tom and Abby gasped in delight when they spotted her red face.

'You _did_ kiss him?' Abby almost jumped out of her chair and was clapping her hands in excitement. Her blonde hair had escaped from her ponytail, but she was too busy staring at Keira to notice.

Keira buried her face in her hands and that made her feel how hot her cheeks were, great. How long now before the race started? She desperately needed a distraction and she almost wanted to get up and leave the garage. Knowing that everyone would notice that, she thought better of it and stayed put.

'Tell me Keir, I want to now!' Abby yelled and she wasn't remotely interested in the cars anymore.

Keira collected all her courage to face her friends and cleared her throat. 'OK, we did kiss. Happy now?'

Tom almost choked and Abby could only giggle. With a sympathetic look on her face Abby helped Tom stay alive while her eyes were still on Keira. 'Is he a good kisser?' she chuckled devilishly.

'I would lie if I say no,' grinned Keira. She knew she had lost, so it was better to get along with it. The damage was done so she could only laugh about the situation. He had been a good kisser, definitely and their second kiss had turned from gentle to passionate very quickly. She had almost lost herself in his kiss and she could still feel his lips on hers when she thought about it.

'I'm jealous,' with a sigh Abby had pouted her lips and was now staring at one of the TV screens. Fernando was being filmed and he waved to the camera. 'I also would like to be kissed by him. I mean who wouldn't?'

'I wouldn't,' Tom said and he grinned when both girls rolled their eyes. 'It's sad that there aren't many girls around here, definitely the only part that let me down this weekend.'

At that moment the formation lap began and they all focused their attention back on the screens in the garage. There was a healthy amount of anticipation and excitement in the air and the mechanics who would be in charge of the pit stops were sitting nervously on their chairs. It was dead silent in the garage when the lights were still red and turned into applause when they lights had gone out.

Vettel was already up to fifth after the start, while Webber unfortunately fell back, like usual. Alonso however had a flying start and was quickly on the back of Vettel. It looked like Vettel was defending more aggressively against Alonso than he normally did and later on that earned him a drive-through penalty. In the final stages it became clear that it wasn't Red Bull's race as Vettel retired with again an alternator problem and Webber earned himself some massive flat spots which meant he couldn't continue. The mood in the garage was gloomy when it was clear that they wouldn't make the finish with both cars and everybody took of their gear.

With her eyes still on the screen Keira followed the podium celebrations. Fernando hadn't won, but he was at least on the podium and that put a smile on her face. He definitely looked happy and the Tifosi showed their support like they couldn't anywhere else. She made sure not to smile too much, because the rest of the garage wasn't happy in the slightest and she was sure Seb wouldn't be in a better mood either. When she grabbed her bag to get her bottle of water she decided to send Fernando a text to congratulate him on the result. Abby tried to look over her shoulder to see who she was texting, but she quickly turned her phone away from her. This was nobody else's business and it wouldn't feel right to not congratulate Fernando after what had happened last night.

Abby nudged Keira, who was still looking down at her phone. 'Seb's back,' she said and she pointed at the back of the garage.

Seb had just came in and he didn't look happy in the slightest, Keira saw immediately. Of course she could understand that, because he had been in sixth and with Fernando in third he would have only lost five points in the championship. Now he had lost fifteen and had even dropped to fourth in the standings and it wasn't looking good for his title pursuit. When she saw him disappearing to his room in the garage he looked so sad. Feeling bad for him she decided to go talk to him, hoping to at least calm him down a little.

'I'm going to check on Seb,' she informed her friends and she stood up from where she had been sitting. Not really sure where to go exactly and if she was allowed to go there she made her way to the back of the garage, dodging the many persons who were dismantling the garage already. She then found a door which said Sebastian Vettel, so that should be his drivers room. With slight hesitation she knocked on the door.

'Come in,' sounded from the other side of the door.

Slowly she pushed open the door, not sure what Seb would say when he saw it was her. When she stepped inside she spotted Seb standing in the room, with his back to the door. She felt her breath catch in her throat when she noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt. In fact he was between changing shirts and he had just picked up the shirt that was laying on the table. Her eyes were fixed on his bare back and she followed his muscles flex when he unfolded the shirt. She hoped he would turn around before he had put on the shirt, so she would finally be able to see what had been hiding beneath his shirts all this time. Luckily for her, he did.

'Hey,' he said wearily when he had turned around and noticed Keira standing in the doorway.

With some uncertainty she took a step closer to Seb and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his body. He was looking fine, more than fine actually, she would even go as far as calling him hot. He was as toned as she had expected, but his skin was more tanned than she had imagined. It looked good on him and her stomach lurched when he also took a step closer, enabling her to observe his body from closer by.

'I'm sorry about your race,' she said as she looked up to his face again.

'Yeah, it was a shocker. These stupid failures keep happening and it's costing me dearly,' he furrowed his forehead and didn't make an effort to put on the shirt he was holding in his hands.

'At least you didn't make a huge mistake like Webber did,' she grinned when she thought about what had happened to his teammate.

'I don't gain any points by that, but I have to admit that it feels good,' he said and he had almost smiled.

'Next race will be better, I promise,' she tried to comfort him, although she knew fortune telling wasn't her expertise. She just wanted to make him smile again, because that definitely was his best asset. Also when he smiled she knew he was himself again and she didn't want him to linger in this unhappiness.

'I really hope so, because Fernando is now almost forty points ahead,' he sighed and he finally put on the shirt.

Feeling slightly disappointed that he had put his shirt on she tried to ignore he had mentioned Fernando, although Seb had stared at her more intently when he had mentioned his name.

'There are still seven races to go, plenty of time to catch up,' she smiled and hoisted her bag further up her shoulder.

'I guess you're right,' he finally smiled and he grabbed a bottle of water that was standing on the table. After taking a few sips and letting a silence fall he looked back at Keira again. 'So, how was last night?' he asked trying to sound nonchalant, but it was clear that he was very interested in her answer.

Not wanting to lie to him, she decided on telling the truth. 'I had a good time,' she said nervously and darted her eyes around the room to avoid having to look at him.

He grunted in displeasure and grabbed his hoodie that was laying on the sofa. 'Of course, Fernando is perfect in everything,' he said sharply and his eyes had narrowed a bit.

She didn't know how to reply and just stared at her hands. Wanting to avoid having to talk about Fernando it was better to just say nothing at all. He had sounded so bitter and she hated to think that she was responsible for that.

'Do you want to go to the party tonight?' he then said changing the topic. His eyes were now soft again and a look of expectation was visible on his face as he sat down on the sofa.

'Party?' she asked sounding surprised and she swept a lock out of her face. It didn't seem like the team was in the mood to party, so she didn't know what this was all about. If there was indeed a party and Seb was going, she couldn't let him down.

'Yes, there's always a party, even if the result isn't that great. It keeps the team spirit high and also gives everyone an opportunity to reflect on the weekend in a relaxed atmosphere,' he said happily and he stretched his legs so that he could lay down. He had put his hands behind his neck and was now looking up at Keira with that bright smile of his.

'OK then, we'll definitely be there,' she replied.

'You're not going out with Fernando again?' he asked suspiciously and he observed her face very carefully. He wanted to know what she thought about him and he pressed his lips together.

'No, I intended to spend the evening with Tom and Abby,' she said and she leaned back against the wall of the small room.

He relaxed his shoulder when she ensured him that she would come tonight and his smile was back immediately. 'Great, it should be a good one,' he grinned.


	34. Party

She was standing in her hotel room and couldn't choose what to wear. Normally she didn't really care, but she wanted to make a good impression on Seb. There were two dresses laying on her bed and in the end she closed her eyes and picked one without looking. Maybe it was a bit childish to choose that way, but she often did this when she was indecisive and it always worked. She decided to wear her hair down tonight and made sure her make-up was alright before she joined the others.

'We'll meet the rest downstairs, right?' Abby asked when Keira entered the living room.

'Yes, that's what Seb said.' She checked her watch and noticed they had to hurry. 'Come on, otherwise they'll leave without us.'

In the lift they discussed the race further and where on earth they were going, as they all never had gone to a party like this before.

'Will there be other drivers?' Tom sounded curious and he checked his hair in the large mirror.

Keira shrugged her shoulders. 'I don't know, Seb didn't say,' she answered. She herself was now thinking about who would all be there. Would it be a private party or were they just going to some club?

When they entered the lobby a large group was already gathered and it looked rather weird to see them all without their Red Bull gear. Normally it was a sea of blue, now there were all different kinds of colours and it made the group look even larger.

'There you are,' Seb pushed himself past a few people and caught up with the trio.

Keira was used to see him in normal clothes, but the others clearly not. Abby had her mouth open and was staring openly at Seb, clearly enjoying what see was seeing. Keira grinned when she noticed her friend and nudged her so that she would close her mouth again. He indeed was looking very handsome tonight, like he always did she thought. His simple style enhanced his features as he was wearing light jeans and a plain white shirt. She noticed that he was wearing his tight pair of jeans again and secretly she hoped he would turn around so that she could see the other side of him. Quickly abandoning that thought she focussed her eyes on his face again. He had even styled his hair today, it still looked messy, but it looked very good on him though. She was glad that he was acting normal again and when she caught his eyes he smiled at her showing his perfect teeth.

'You look beautiful tonight,' he said while his eyes were checking her out.

 'You're implying that I look awful the rest of the time?' she grinned and she gave him a playful push against his chest.

He turned a slight pink and his eyes were wide. 'No, you always look beautiful,' he quickly said.

'Just kiss already,' Abby rolled her eyes and pushed herself past the pair and made her way over to the group of mechanics that had just signed her to come over.

Tom was now chuckling and he quickly followed Abby to get himself out of the situation she had created. Abby and him were now both giggling and they gave Keira a thumbs up which Seb couldn't see.

Sometimes she hated her friends and this was definitely one of those times. Seb had turned red and she knew she had done so herself. They both didn't know what to say and an uncomfortable silence fell between them. It still wasn't enough for her not to notice how cute he looked when he felt embarrassed and when he put his hands in his pockets even more.

'I'm sorry once again for my friends,' she tried to make the situation less awkward.

The corners of his mouth lifted a little and he scratched his chin. 'Don't let Fernando hear them,' he grinned, but his eyes were darker than before when he said that.

'Let's not talk about him, shall we?' she said cheerfully as she wanted Seb to know that she was here for him tonight.

At that moment the group was leaving and they quickly followed them outside. They were a cheerful bunch, despite the less than optimal result in the race today and it also cheered Keira up. She spotted her friends engaging in conversations with several people and it was good to see that they also enjoyed themselves this weekend. Tom had calmed down and was now his normal self again and Abby was clearly trying to flirt with at least five of them. She grinned, they both would never change and she wouldn't want them to.

Seb and herself walked in silence until he brought up the race. She hadn't wanted to do that herself, because she didn't know if he was up to talk about it. The rest of the walk they discussed what had happened and what exactly an alternator failure was, because Keira was really interested in that part. Seb clearly enjoyed being able to discuss technical details and when they entered the club he was clearly in a better mood than he had been in the hotel.

It was clear that everybody wanted to let some steam off as the alcohol consumption was very high, people were dancing and it became wilder when the evening progressed. Abby was dancing in the middle of a group of mechanics and Tom was dancing with Seb and Keira. They all were having fun and Seb showed Keira the weirdest moves he had learned in school to make her laugh. It worked like a charm and she tried to do them herself, the 'sprinkler' was clearly her favourite. Tom stuck to his own moves however as he had always been a good dancer. It always worked like a magnet like the case was now, as a few girls had made their way over to him to dance with him. They clearly weren't from the team, but Tom enjoyed their company anyway.

Feeling a bit hot Keira gestured to Seb that she was going outside for a bit. Her feet were hurting from dancing, but it had been definitely worth it. She couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun, also this much alcohol if she was being honest. Seb followed her outside and when she sat down in one of the chairs she waved her hands to cool down.

'Drinks?' Seb asked with a lopsided grin and he also looked rather hot.

'Yes please, I'm so hot right now,' she answered as she looked at the group that was sitting a bit further away. They spoke Italian, so she couldn't understand them, but she was sure that she recognised a few of the faces from the paddock. They must been from Ferrari then and that made her think about Fernando, was he also here? However she quickly forgot about him when Seb had turned around to get their drinks. She now had a great view of his perfect butt and she felt herself blush when she realised what she was doing. This was not something you did with your friends, so she had to cut it out she reprimanded herself. She tried to think about Fernando again, but the image of Seb's perfect body kept coming back.

While making his way to the bar again he looked back over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Keira who was still waving her hands to cool down. Seb grinned as he saw that and he kept looking a little bit longer than was necessary. They had been dancing for a while and he had showed her his horrible moves. Not that he wasn't able to dance normally, but he liked her smile so much that he would do anything to make her smile more. He also had been closer to her than he had before and therefore had been able to study her a bit more. She was wearing more make-up than normal and it made her green eyes stand out even more, he also spotted that her skin was smooth and her lips looked softer than ever. She hadn't even shied away when he had touched her to show her how the moves should be executed and he had felt on fire whenever she touched him. Her fingers were very warm and he guessed the alcohol had made her worry less about whatever that was always holding her back.

When he had ordered their drinks he was leaning against the bar to wait, darting his eyes around the room in the meantime. His team seemed to have a good time and he was happy that they all could forget about the results for at least one evening. He himself hadn't even thought about it until now, although he didn't know if that was because he was having fun, or that he could only think about the girl he had been dancing with.

'I didn't know you had a reason to party,' a voice said suddenly.

Seb looked sideways to see who had been talking to him, but he had recognised that voice anyway. He felt his blood starting to boil and he grunted when he spotted fucking Fernando standing next to him, smiling complacently.

'Can't you leave me alone for a couple of hours at least?' he snapped when he saw that Fernando made no intention to leave. It had been a good evening up to now and he didn't like Fernando ruin that at all.

'That's not very nice of you, can't we be adults about this situation for once? I know I'm beating you on track this year, but there's no reason to be nasty,' Fernando said and it was clear that he liked every moment of humiliating Seb.

'I didn't start this,' Seb spat back and he folded his arms. He wasn't going to play along with his games, certainly not now.

'You're really angry today, having problems Sebastian?' Fernando grinned and he tapped his fingers on the bar. He already had his drink and was now taking a sip while he waved at someone in the crowd.

'My only problem is you,' it sounded maybe a bit meaner than he had intended to, but he couldn't get the image of Keira and him together out of his head.

'You seem to be really angry about something, spill it Sebastian,' with a grin on his face Fernando put down his glass. He followed Seb's eyes as he was staring at something outside and he quickly recognised who he was staring at. 'You know Keira?' he asked while raising an eyebrow.

Shit, he had caught him staring at her. Not wanting to give him something to humiliate him even more he decided to act cool. 'Yes, she's here on my invitation,' he answered with a confident smile. She was, so she would always choose him above Fernando, that was something at least.

'She is?' Fernando sounded surprised and he furrowed his forehead while still staring at Keira.

'Yes, so I advise you to back off,' he didn't even try to sound calm this time and his eyes shot fire.

That quickly brought a smirk to Fernando's face and he turned his head back to Sebastian. 'You have no chance, I like her and she clearly likes me,' he said with a sly smile and he was beaming with confidence.

'What do you mean she clearly likes you?' Seb said suspiciously. He hadn't had the indication that Keira really liked Fernando, but the way he was acting made him nervous. What if she really did like him?

'Normally when you kiss someone it means the person likes you,' he replied with a smug face. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair and winked at Sebastian.

He was lying, he had to be lying. The Keira he knew didn't like to be touched and clearly didn't kiss people she barely knew. Or did she? He didn't know anymore and an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach made him want to ask further questions, but he knew that was what Fernando wanted. He looked at Keira again and he saw that Tom and Abby were now sitting next to her and were laughing at something. When he saw her smiling, he couldn't stop himself from also curving his lips.

'She's here to support me, so you'll never get any further than that,' Seb said in a harsh voice when he had torn his eyes away.

'Are you sure?' Fernando said smugly.

The knot in his stomach tightened and he didn't want to hear what Fernando had to say. 'What do you mean?' he said in the end, his curiosity winning it from his stubbornness.

'Look,' Fernando had pulled out his phone and was now showing Seb the message he had received from Keira after the race.

It felt like being punched in the stomach, it sounded exactly like her and he knew Fernando wasn't lying. She indeed liked him and she now also started to support him? He felt nauseous and wasn't remotely interested in the drinks the barman had put down next to him anymore. This was just a horrible dream, this wasn't just another thing Fernando tried to take from him.

'You like her,' Fernando looked surprised as well as amused. He had folded his arms and a sly smile played on his lips while his eyes glittered.

'I do not,' Seb replied quickly, but he knew it was no use. Fernando was looking at him with that knowing smile and he hated how satisfied he looked.

'Yes you do,' he grinned. 'I hadn't expected that of you Sebastian.'

He felt his face reddening and he quickly downed his drink, to have at least something to do other than looking at Fernando.

Then a look of understanding dawned on Fernando's face. 'She doesn't know, does she?' he was looking more satisfied than ever and he tried not to laugh. 'Bad boy Sebastian,' he grinned.

'Don't you dare tell her,' Seb hissed and he was ready to punch him in the face. If he dared tell her this, before he could do this himself he would make sure he could never race again.

'Poor little Sebastian, having secrets do we?' Fernando was enjoying winding Seb up and made sure to not miss any chance.

Clenching his fists in anger he looked at that stupid Spanish face. 'Please leave yourself out of this, this is none of your business,' he hissed.

'Don't think you'll ever have a chance with her now,' Fernando said with a devilish smile. 'She's mine, you know?' he winked at Sebastian and walked back to his group of people.

He felt rooted to the spot, Fernando had just wanted to get one over on him he told himself. However the last few sentences from him were stuck in his head and he knew he had been keeping secrets from Keira. He was not proud of it, but he hadn't figured it out himself how to deal with it. The only thing he did know was that he didn't like Fernando in the slightest. Knowing that he had kissed Keira made his anger rise again and he couldn't believe that had happened. He felt sick and the loud music made him want to escape this place and go back to his hotel. He knew everyone would notice, so instead he ordered another drink which he downed instantly.


	35. Closer

With a sigh she looked on her watch, Seb had been gone for a long time. He was only getting drinks, so she didn't know what was taking him this long. Maybe he had met a few people he knew and he was held up, that happened regularly with him being a famous racing driver and stuff. She leaned back in her chair and listened with half an ear to the conversation between Abby and Tom. She suddenly felt a bit tired and put her nose in the air to let the breeze waken her up a bit. It helped a little and she smiled when she thought about the perfect day she had had. Her eyes then suddenly felt on a figure who had approached the Italian group next to her, she recognised him immediately and their eyes locked.

With a smile on his face he excused himself from the group and walked over to where Keira and her friends were sitting. 'Hi,' he said and he grabbed the back of one of the chairs, leaning on it casually. 'You look beautiful tonight.'

Tom grinned and nudged Abby. 'You're not the first one to tell her that tonight,' he said to the guy standing next to them.

Keira gave Tom her deadliest glare and mouthed that he shouldn't get involved.

Fernando didn't seem to mind and he only chuckled. 'At least I do something about it,' and he winked at Keira.

She felt her heart starting to race and it almost seemed like he knew about Seb, but that was impossible. She hadn't brought Seb up at all last night and she was sure she was just imagining things. With her attention focused on his hair, which made him look like a model when the wind was playing with it like this, she thought about their kiss last night. Two kisses, if she wanted to be correct and seeing his lips again and his dark brown eyes made her a bit shy.

Fernando had noticed her staring at his lips and shot her a mischievous smile. 'Do you want to dance?' he asked with a little bow and he held out his hand as an invitation. 'We can repeat last night if you want?'

'I'm sorry, but she was just going to dance with me. Weren't you Keir?' Seb had suddenly appeared out of nowhere and was now standing next to Fernando. If looks could kill, Fernando would have been dead at least ten times by now.

Confused by Seb's sudden appearance she looked from Seb to Fernando and back to Seb again. 'Was I?' she answered vaguely as she was thinking about the fact Fernando hadn't been surprised to see Seb at all. It even looked like he had expected him to show up and that confused her even more.

'Come on,' Seb grabbed Keira's hand and pulled her out of her chair. He seemed a bit drunk and he was giggling when he almost tripped on a chair. 'Sorry,' he said with puppy eyes as he almost had made Keira fell to the ground as well.

'Sorry, next time,' was the only thing she could quickly say to Fernando before Seb had pulled her away. Fernando was not really looking happy, but she was here with Seb this evening so he had to wait.

Seb had pulled Keira to the bar and ordered them both a few shots. He challenged her to finish them before him and he was surprised when she actually did. Feeling the alcohol spread through their bodies Seb manoeuvred them both through the crowd until they were in the middle of the dance floor. He almost fell again as he pulled Keira closer to him.

'Seb, what's going on?' she asked grinning and helped him stay on his feet. 'You're drunk.'

'You are. I am not,' he giggled and he made her do a pirouette. 'Let's just dance,' he yelled in her ear.

She decided to just go along with it as this happy Seb was a lot better than the gloomy Seb, she thought. When a song started they both knew she threw her hands in the air and let herself go, not caring about anything else in the world. She was here to enjoy herself and when Seb came a bit closer to dance with her, she smiled and grabbed his hands.

'You're actually a good dancer,' she shouted at Seb when she noticed how comfortable he was on the dance floor. A lot of girls were staring at her, clearly jealous that she was dancing with Seb.

'I am actually good in a lot of things,' he grinned and with a knowing smile he pulled her even closer to his body to dance.

She didn't really understand what he meant by that, but the wink he had given her made her heart beat faster. He normally didn't wink in that way and she couldn't even remember if he had ever looked at her like this. She almost forgot to breath and her stomach was somersaulting when she caught him licking his lips. They were both too drunk to really care what was happening and when Seb touched her face to put a stray lock behind her ear, she let him. The feeling of his hands on her skin shot a shiver up her spine and their eyes locked suddenly, what resulted in another lurch of her stomach. He was closer than he had ever been and the scent of mint and petrol was mixed with sweat this time. It almost made her lean into Seb to put her head against his chest and she wanted to put her hands in his messy hair. She controlled herself however and blushed when he put his hands on her back.

'You're also a good dancer,' he said in a hush voice when he had brought his head closer to Keira's face. One of his hands slid down her back and was now resting on her butt and to his surprise she only giggled.

He was now so close that she could spot all the little imperfections on his face, not that he had many in the first place. His eyes had even more detail to them than she already knew and she thought it made him look even prettier. Unfortunately her eyes kept going to his lips, so she wasn't able to notice much else. His lips however looked so damn kissable at the moment and she had to use all her strength to not just lean in and put her lips on his. It took a lot of effort to keep her composure and when she looked into his eyes again she could see them glitter with eagerness. She could feel him running his fingers through her hair and they both hadn't noticed that they had stopped dancing. His body was now so close to hers that the fabric of their clothes rubbed against each other. It felt like sparks were coming of their bodies and she quickly took his hands to create some distance between them. She was slightly out of breath, but quickly pulled him into a dance again.

They were dancing again, only this time a whole lot closer than before and their hands were now on the other person's body. Seb kept catching Keira's eyes and then he smiled when he did, his brightest smile that could move heaven and earth. It was this smile that made Keira weak at the knees and she couldn't get enough of it. She could stare at that smile for days and not notice what was going on around her, so captivating was his smile. She positioned herself even closer to Seb and their faces were now dangerously close.

'Hey guys, having fun?' Abby had pushed her way through the crowd.

Keira quickly let go of Seb and turned bright red. She could see Seb doing the same and it was exactly what Abby had wanted to see apparently. With a slightly embarrassed look on her face she tried to smile like nothing had happened.

'Where are your mechanics?' Seb shot back and he already got his demeanour back. He pointed his head in the direction of the group of Red Bull people and grinned.

Now it was Abby's turn to burn up. 'Shut it, mister,' she said heatedly.

Keira grinned and made sure there was enough space between her and Seb. They hadn't thought about other people seeing them, they could give them the impression that there was more going on than that there actually was. They had just been dancing and having a good time, that's what you did at a party, right?

'What happened to your hair?' Abby was now looking amused and pointed at Keira's head.

She quickly put her hand in her hair to check and it was clear that Seb had messed it up pretty badly, shit. Turning pink again she tried to flatten it, but it only helped so much. Seb shot her an apologizing grin and she chuckled herself.

'Well, I was just checking in. Continue what you were doing,' it sounded like she was giving them an assignment and Abby tried her best to push the two back together.

However they both felt a bit uncomfortable and it was clear that their moment had gone. Instead they joined the group of Abby and Tom and danced the rest of the night with the group of Red Bull people. It was already very late before the group finally returned to the hotel and they were all glad when they stepped into their beds.

\---------

It was already late in the day when Keira finally woke up and her head was throbbing painfully. She grunted and told herself to never drink as much again as she had done last night. Getting out of bed made it only worse and she stumbled across the room to find some painkillers and water. When she made her way to the kitchen she could hear the other two also cursing at themselves for the same crime. However it showed that last night had been successful and it had been a great end to a great weekend. She grabbed coffee from one of the cabinets and started to make some really strong coffee, they all could use that.

While she was waiting for the coffee she checked her phone to read up on the news, but she saw that there was a message from Abby. It was already sent last night and she opened it with curiosity, because Abby had been by her side all the time. When she opened it she saw that it wasn't just a message, but also photo of her and Seb dancing together.

**Abby - Are you still sure there's nothing going on?**

She instantly turned red when she saw how intimate they looked on the photo, it was also taken at the exact moment Seb had smiled at her and she was looking into his eyes. That now familiar feeling in her stomach appeared again when she looked at the photo and she quickly switched to her news app. They had just been having fun when totally drunk, that was all, she was sure that Seb would regret it this morning. With a sigh she tried to think about something else, but the feeling in her stomach stayed and made it unable for her to concentrate on the news.

After a few cups of strong coffee and croissants, which had been delivered to them again like the past days, they all rather gloomily went to pack their suitcases. They all didn't want the weekend to end, but it was time to go back to their normal lives, which seemed rather dull after this.

'Keira, you've got a message from Seb,' yelled Abby from the other room.

Not understanding how Abby could know Keira looked for her phone, but couldn't find it. Therefore she went to Abby's room and indeed she was holding Keira's phone.

'Sorry, grabbed the wrong one,' she grinned and she held out the phone.

Keira ignored the intense stare from Abby and turned around to read the message, she wanted to read it without someone spying.

**Sebastian - Want to meet up for coffee before you all leave?**

'He's inviting us for coffee,' she said and she turned back to her friend.

'Are we going?' Abby answered while putting her shoes into her suitcase.

Keira was surprised by this question. 'Why not?' she asked with arched eyebrows.

'I don't know how you left things last night,' Abby grinned as she looked up.

'What do you mean?' Keira still didn't understand where she was going with this and sat down on the bed.

'Oh well, you were really close last night. I mean really, really, really close. I guess you've kissed?' Abby grinned while pointing a shoe at Keira.

'No, we didn't kiss! How often do I have to tell you that we are just friends?' Keira said defensively and she was getting tired of everyone acting like there was something going on, because there wasn't.

'I wouldn't do the things you did with him last night with my friends, just saying,' it sounded nonchalant, but a smirk played on Abby's lips and she continued packing her suitcase.

'You would do anything with anyone,' Keira muttered under her breath.

Abby threw one of her shoes at Keira, which she only nearly dodged. 'I heard that!'

'Sorry,' she grinned as the typed a reply to Seb.

**Keira - Count us in. Where and at what time do we meet?**

It didn't take long for him to reply and her heart made a little jump when she read his name on her screen again.

**Sebastian - The cafe just across the street and in half an hour?**

**Keira - Alright, we'll be there!**

In exact half an hour they entered the little cafe, Tom a bit more hung over than the rest, but for the rest in good spirits. Keira spotted Seb sitting at a table next to the window and it brought back memories of Switzerland, were he always sat next to the window. He waved and her stomach twitched when he smiled brightly, showing his perfect teeth.

'Why are you this happy?' Tom grunted at Seb. He was still wearing his sunglasses as light clearly was too much to take at this moment.

Seb shrugged his shoulders and grinned. 'Used to it, I guess.'

'Teach us, please,' Abby sighed and she put her head on the table.

'Easy, just drink more and more often,' he chuckled and he patted Tom on his shoulder with a look of pity on his face.

'You are terrible at giving advice,' Tom groaned in displeasure.

'Sorry, tried my best,' Seb chuckled and looked up when the waitress wanted to take their orders.

When they were all sipping their coffees a few girls came up to their table giggling, they wanted Seb's autograph and a picture with him. Seb didn't look too bothered and gave them what they wanted while smiling politely.

'Come on, you give it to him,' the blonde girl nudged her friend and she giggled as her friend turned red.

'You do it,' the brown haired girl replied and she pushed something in her friend's hand.

'No, it was your idea,' the blonde girl replied and pushed her friend almost on Seb's lap.

'Alright, I'll do it,' another of their friends said and she snatched the piece of paper out of the hands of the other girl. 'Here you go,' she smiled at Seb as she gave him the note. She was batting her lashes and she touched his hand a bit longer than necessary.

'Thanks,' Seb answered and he took the piece of paper from her. He shook his head when they all left giggling and whispering among each other. 'This happens all the time,' he excused himself to the others. He checked what was written on the paper, sighed and crumpled it.

'Phone numbers?' Tom guessed while staring after the girls.

'Unfortunately,' Seb answered and he shove the paper to Tom. 'Here, you can have it,' he grinned.

It had happened before, but Keira was still not comfortable with this kind of situations. It was weird that total random people were giving him their phone numbers, did they really expect that he was going to call them? Somehow she had also felt a bit jealous when Seb had been chatting to the girls, she didn't like to see him with someone else. It was something she didn't want to admit to herself, but the stinging feeling when he had smiled at them was enough confirmation anyhow.

Luckily the rest of the time Seb was left alone and they sat drinking their coffees in peace and were chatting about the weekend. Seb wanted to know what their thoughts were about their first Formula 1 experience and they all assured him that it was the best thing they had ever gone to. Even Abby had enjoyed herself although she wasn't a big motorsport fan herself. It was like Seb had been part of their little group forever and they quickly were laughing at one of his stories about someone in the paddock.


	36. Job

Being back home was strange, she had to get used to the silence again, because if there's one thing you'll not get at a Grand Prix it is silence. Even her colleagues were worried about here, because she was more distant than ever. She kept thinking about how much fun the weekend had been and how she enjoyed spending so much time with Seb, although he had been very busy of course. Also to be around other people, engage in conversations, laugh at jokes was something she didn't do much nowadays. She cursed David for turning her into who she was right now and she fought hard to not let him influence her life anymore. She wanted to break free from it all, be the person she wanted to be and not the person other people wanted her to be.

She was searching the internet for pictures of this weekend, so that she would have proof of the memories at least. It was beneficial that there were so many professional photographers in the paddock, because there were loads of good pictures to choose from. She even found some pictures of herself in the Red Bull garage, talking to one of the mechanics. It surprised her how happy she looked, as she normally only saw herself in the mirror. She looked a bit thinner that she remembered, but at least the girl in the photos seemed to enjoy herself. Witch a click of the mouse she saved the pictures and went on to find other pictures which were worth saving. Afterwards she would send them to her friends, she thought they would like that.

When she opened her email her eye fell on a new message she clearly had missed before. It said Red Bull in the address and she was curious what it could be, because she didn't remember signing up for any of their mailing lists. Without thinking much of it she clicked on the email to open it and started to read. After each sentence her eyes got wider and wider and in the end she had put her hand over her mouth, not believing what she was reading. This was too good to be true and she didn't understand why she was given this opportunity. She read the email again and it really said Christian Horner at the bottom of her screen. She hadn't spoken to him this weekend other than Seb introducing her and him wishing her to enjoy the weekend. Then suddenly she put two and two together and she knew who was responsible for this, because who else could it be?

With trembling hands she picked up her phone and dialled his number, she needed to speak to him to see if this was really legit.

'I was waiting for your call,' Seb grinned when he answered his phone.

'What have you done?' was the only think she could think of to yell at her phone.

A chuckle was audible from the other side of the line. 'I think you at least deserved this chance,' he said while trying not to laugh at her disbelief.

'I don't know what I did to deserve this, it's such a huge opportunity,' she said still in awe and she closed the laptop that was standing in front of her on the kitchen table.

'Being awesome,' Seb grinned. 'On a serious note, you seemed so happy when you were in the garage this weekend and you couldn't shut up asking me about the failures on my car. I haven't seen you so happy since, eh, ever I think. That's why I arranged this when I found out this position was opening up.' He clearly was chuffed with himself as he explained his reasons.

'I don't even know how to thank you. I know it's just an interview, but that's the furthest I got so far while searching for a job,' she said gratefully. With her phone still held to her ear she stood up and filled up her glass with water.

'Don't be too worried about that interview, you'll get through that with flying colours.'

Sitting down again and pulling the biscuit tin towards her she sighed. 'I'm not so sure about that, I have zero experience in this field,' she said while putting one of her homemade carrot cake biscuits in her mouth.

'The most important thing is motivation, experience will come over time and there are enough people to help you along,' he said trying to reassure her.

Chewing on her biscuit she thought about his words. 'Do you really think so?' she asked hesitantly.

'I also put a word in for you, so they will need a good reason not to hire you,' he chuckled.

'Thanks,' she said and realised that it sometimes was quite useful to have someone with high influence as her friend. Not that she wanted to be hired just because he asked, she wanted to be hired for her skills and knowledge, but if he could give that little push that was great.

'That's what you do for friends, right?' he said and it sounded genuine.

'I could never do something like this back for you,' she said uneasily. That was the other side of the story, he had all the influence and could make things happen, she however could not.

'Don't worry, you wanting to spend time with me is enough,' he grinned. 'You're one of the only persons who treat me as normal and you can't imagine how thankful I am for that,' he added on a more serious note.

She grabbed another biscuit from the tin and grinned. 'I can refer to you as champ in the future if you like,' she said seriously, but it was hard to not start laughing.

'Please don't,' he exclaimed quickly and his voice sounded unsettled.

'Just joking,' she chuckled. 'Champ,' she muttered under her breath however.

Seb groaned and he cursed in German, forgetting she was able to understand him. 'Please ignore that,' he said when he realised his mistake.

'Next time I'll make you eat soap to wash that dirty mouth of yours,' she laughed and she almost spat out her biscuit.

'I can say things that are a lot dirtier,' he chuckled.

'Try me,' she answered. She wasn't sure if it was innocent what he said or that it was meant to be cheeky. She couldn't see his face, so she really had no clue which of the two it was. It still made her blush though and she was happy that Seb couldn't see her face.

'Challenge accepted,' he said seriously.

There suddenly was a lot of noise in the background and she could hear him put his hand over the microphone and talk to someone else. His voice was muffled so she couldn't hear what he said and she used that time to eat another biscuit.

'I'm sorry about that, but I have to go,' he said when he returned to their conversation.

'Oh, OK,' she answered and wished secretly that he would keep talking to her for the rest of the day. Of course she knew he was busy and his time was precious, so she didn't want to be egoistic.

'Don't worry about the interview, I mean it. Just prepare and you'll do fine,' he reassured her another time.

She smiled, he was always able to make her feel better. 'Thanks,' she replied.

After they said their goodbyes she put her phone back on the table. She was a lot calmer than she had been at the start of their conversation, but she was still nervous as hell. The interview was already in a couple of days and she still needed to arrange a lot of things. However they could all wait, it was time to calm her nerves with baking a large cake.

\----------

She had taken a taxi from the hotel to the factory and she was now standing in front of the impressive building. One of their Formula 1 cars was hanging on the walls she saw when she looked through the glass wall. With a deep breath she took a step forward and went through the glass doors. The wall with trophies then quickly grabbed her attention and she could only stare up at the large cabinet. Almost ever trophy had Seb's name on it and it was an impressive sight for everyone who entered the factory. She could imagine that it motivated you massively when you came through those doors ready for work.

Feeling a bit nervous she made her way to the reception where a cheerful blonde woman was sitting talking to someone on the phone. She quickly smoothened her skirt and checked if her blazer still had no wrinkles in it. When she was sure she looked decent and the woman was off the phone she introduced herself.

'Hi, I'm Keira O'Donnell. I'm her for a job interview with Christian Horner at two o'clock,' she said smiling at the petite blonde.

'Hi, welcome at Red Bull Racing,' the girl said happily. 'I'll call someone to get you up to his office. You can sit there to wait. Good luck!' she pointed at one of the sofas and with a broad smile picked up the phone again to call one of her colleagues.

Keira followed her instruction and sat down, looking nervously around her. Everything seemed big, but also well organised, exactly how she had expected it to be. People were walking around in Red Bull gear and it all felt a bit surreal, she couldn't believe she was here in the factory of a championship winning team. Also everyone seemed so nice, a lot of people said hello to her when walking by and she wasn't used to an environment like this.

'Miss O'Donnell?' another woman asked when she walked up to Keira.

'Yes, that's me,' she quickly replied and stood up to shake the woman's hand.

'Hi, I'm Kate and I'll bring you to Christian right now. Follow me,' she gestured and they made their way to the lifts.

It all looked like a maze, there were so many corridors and corners that she would easily get lost if she hadn't been accompanied by someone. She tried to peek inside each room and area where she walked past and saw that there were way more people working on making this team successful than she had thought. Everyone seemed serious about their jobs, but she could also see a lot of people talking animatedly amongst each other.

'Here we are. Just go inside, he's waiting for you,' Kate said and she opened the door for Keira to enter. 'Good luck, we need more girls in the team,' she grinned and she gave Keira a thumbs up.

Feeling a bit nauseous she smiled at Kate and made her way inside the room. It wasn't that large, but at least it was very light. There were a lot of windows and the walls were white, what made the room look bigger than it really was. The desk was full with papers and other stuff and it was clear that the team principal had a lot of areas to keep an eye on.

'Hi, I'm Christian Horner. Sit down please,' a male voice said from behind the desk.

Too nervous to reply she sat down in the chair Christian pointed at and it was right in front of his desk. Not wanting to make a bad impression she straightened her back and put her hands folded on her lap, waiting for him to continue.

'You're here for the job of Performance Engineer,' he said and he fiddled with his papers to find the one he was looking for. 'Ah, here it is,' he said when he had finally found the right paper.

'That's right,' she answered and she stared at one of the pictures on his desk, not wanting to look at his face.

'As I have written in the email it is for Sebastian's side of the garage and it is a bit of a combination job. Your main job is to focus on the performance of the car, but when we are short handed we would like you to jump in to work on the car itself. Is that a problem at all?' Christian asked and he had pushed his fingers against each other.

'No, not at all. I like to get my hands dirty and I like to get experience in different areas,' she quickly replied. This was even better, she had been afraid that she would not be allowed to touch a car, but this was the best of both worlds.

'I have your resume right here, it all looks good. Seb was right, your record is impressive,' he said and he smiled when he looked up at Keira. 'Now I would like to hear you motivation. Why do you want to work here at Red Bull?'

This was something she had prepared for and she breathed a sigh of relief. Seb had told her what she could expect and he had been right with this one. Trying to remember what exactly she had prepared she told Christian about her interest in engineering from a young age and what she thought about Red Bull as a company. Christian nodded appreciatively she noticed and she hoped that that was a good thing.

'Then there are a few other things to discuss. This job requires you to be at the race tracks whenever necessary, so that means a lot of time away from home. Also between races you are needed at the factory for analysis, preparing for the next race, working on the car or other work related things. Therefore you have to be flexible in your schedule and a lot of commitment is necessary. I hope you have given that a lot of thought,' Christian said looking serious and he wrote something down on one of the papers.

'I understand that and I have no commitments at home, I can be wherever you want me to be,' she answered and she hoped that was what he wanted to hear. She finally started to feel less nervous and she was getting excited about the job. It didn't seem real at all when she had been back home, but now she was sitting in the team principal's office it was finally sinking in.

'Your flights, accommodation and other basic needs will be covered by the team, so you don't have to worry about that. You'll get a set of team gear and you are expected to bring them clean and washed to the races and wear them whenever you're representing Red Bull,' he summed up matter of factly and he ignored his phone which had started ringing.

It sounded almost too good to be true, everything would be arranged for her and it almost sounded like a holiday, only better. Normally she had to pay for her own holidays and book everything herself, here it was done for her.

'If you have any other questions please ask me or Sebastian, we are all happy to help,' Christian smiled and he put a set of papers on one of the largest pile. 'Consider yourself hired,' he added with a grin and he leaned back in his chair.

'I am?' she said in surprise, not expecting to hear his decision this soon.

'Welcome to Red Bull Racing,' he said as he stood up. He held out his hand and smiled when Keira shook it. 'I hope you'll enjoy your time working on the team.'

She thanked him profusely after she had given him all her information that he needed and almost messed up her signature on the contract. Her hand was trembling because she was so excited and she almost knocked over a pile of important looking papers on Christian's desk. After all the formalities were done he showed her the way to the canteen and told her someone would show her around the factory later on. Also he provided the information where she could pick up her team gear and apply for a paddock pass. She only took in half of the information and was glad that he also gave her a sheet where everything was written down on.

When she had made her way to the canteen after only getting lost twice she felt a bit out of place in her normal clothing. She picked up a tray and walked along the buffet to choose something for lunch. Her stomach was rumbling as she had been too nervous to eat before the interview and now it was already way past lunch time. After being indecisive she chose the pasta of the day in the end and put her tray on one of the empty tables. There were only a few other people sitting in the canteen and it looked like they also had run late. Not knowing if she was allowed to make a call in her she sent Seb a text to tell him about her interview.

**Keira - Got the job!!!**

She grinned and she knew Seb wouldn't be surprised as he had told her at least a thousand times that she didn't need to worry. Even when he had brought her to the airport he had kept reassuring her. She was looking forward to going back home and tell him all about it, although it was a rather boring story. She knew he wouldn't mind and that was what was so great about him. However she was staying here for a few days to get to know the team and to be introduced to her job. With a sigh she started to eat her pasta, dreaming about how lucky she was right now.

'Hey,' a voice said behind her.

It made her almost choke on her pasta and her eyes widened when she turned around and spotted who it was.


	37. Introductions

A pair of very familiar bright blue eyes were staring at her and her stomach twitched when he smiled at her with his eyes twinkling.

'What are you doing here?' was the only thing she could think of to say. He had told her that he only needed to be back at the factory next week and that he had some sponsor event in Germany.

'Surprise,' he grinned and he sat down at the table opposite Keira. 'Thought you needed someone to celebrate with.'

'You didn't even know if I would get the job,' she said and pulled away her tray to make more space.

'Oh come on, who wouldn't hire you!' he said with a playful smile and checked if there was any food left on the tray. When he saw there wasn't he pulled a sad face and spied at the table next to them.

'I guess I have a job now,' she grinned, 'God, that sounds so weird! Also the salary is way higher than I had expected.' That was true, she had goggled when she had read the figure Christian had written down and had wanted to sign right there and then without reading the rest of the contract.

'Not as much as I do,' he chuckled and a cheeky grin appeared on his face.

'I do have a list of things I still want,' she shot back. That damn smile of his was getting to her every time and it made it really hard for her to focus on something else.

'I'm not Santa!' he replied and he pulled a face.

'No, you would need a white beard for that,' she grinned.

'Would that make me more handsome?' Seb was stroking his chin and waggled his eyebrows.

She laughed at his idiotic impression of having a beard. 'Stick to this, this at least makes you look good,' she said while shaking her head.

'You find me good looking, I knew it,' he winked and he stood up, picking up the empty tray to put it away.

She felt her cheeks flush and was glad that Seb had walked away. Her eyes were on his behind again when he bent over slightly to clean the tray and she felt her breathing getting heavier. He was wearing a light grey Red Bull shirt which showed his abs pretty well. She now knew how he looked without his shirt and that wasn't helping her to stop staring at him. Her eyes were now drawn to his strong arms and remembered how he had put them around her, pulling her closer to him. His messy blonde hair was styled the same way as the night of the party and she felt a slight sense of disappointment that she hadn't ran her fingers through it then. She averted her eyes when he walked back to her and smiled innocently, like she hadn't been checking him out a few seconds before.

'Come on, I'll show you around the factory and introduce you to a few guys. I also promised Christian to bring you to Gavin, who is the performance engineer of Mark. He'll be your mentor the first few weeks and show you what is expected of you,' he said as he had put his hands on the table.

'You are my guide?' she said in surprise and her heart jumped a little.

'You don't think I'm capable of showing you around?' he said trying to look hurt, but he wasn't very successful. 'You know we're going to work closely together, if you think I'm incompetent you can still tell Christian you don't want the job,' he grinned.

'I thought being a racing driver meant you had thick skin,' she replied in an annoyed voice, but a smile was visible on her lips.

He stuck his tongue out and she grinned, he could be such a child sometimes. She followed him when he waved to the guys who were still eating and led her out of the canteen. It was clear that Seb was a regular here, because he knew the factory like it was his own home. He kept pointing at rooms and people and explaining what or who they were, often taking time to have a little chat and introduce her as his new performance engineer. They visited the R&D department and visited the shops were they made all the parts for the cars, but the thing she had been looking forward to the most was seeing the cars themselves.

'Look, my precious Abbey all taken apart,' Seb pouted when they had finally reached the cars.

'Your car is named Abbey?' she grinned. 'I have to tell Abby that, she would feel rather special.'

A few mechanics grinned when they saw Seb sulking. 'He has always named his cars after girls, because he thinks his cars are sexy,' one of them said.

'Thanks Chris,' Seb rolled his eyes and made a not so friendly gesture with his hand.

'You are one weird human being,' she shook her head and chuckled. She liked these little quirks about him as they made him Seb, it was actually rather cute.

'Well, these are the guys you'll be working with. I know you'll mostly work together with Rocky and I on the balance of the car, but when there are changes to be made you have to discuss that with these guys,' he said and he pointed his head at the group of mechanics.

She shook hands with all of them and they looked like a nice bunch of guys. She spotted one girl among the many guys and her long blonde hair was rather out of place in this environment.

The girl cleaned her hands on a cloth and then held out one. 'Hi, I'm Macy. Nice to have another girl onboard,' she smiled. 'I'm sure they try to turn me into one of them and the level of testosterone in here is way too high,' she said and rolled her eyes.

'Are you both coming to the weekly drinks meeting?' Charlie, one of the mechanics, asked.

Seb looked at Keira to get an answer. 'Do you want to come? It's just close by in a little cafe, my guys and I have a little tradition of going there. They go every week and when I'm here I join them,' he explained.

'Yeah sure, why not. I have to celebrate my new job anyway,' she grinned.

'Good answer,' Macy grinned and she looked happy to finally have a female companion.

They stood there chatting for a while before Seb said to her that there was still more to see and that she could talk to them more during drinks. He still had that look of pity on his face when he looked at his dismantled car.

'It was nice to meet you all,' she said to the group and was just able to wave before Seb had pulled her away.

\----------

She was already on her third pint of Guinness and she was listening to one of the stories Charlie was telling about himself and this time it was about almost being run over by a Formula 1 car. He made it sound like it had been almost certainly his death if his genius brain had not decided to take a step forward at the last moment. He and Seb had been challenging each other to tell the most impressive story and Seb was heading that at the moment. He had been so funny that the muscles in her face were now hurting from laughing so much. With every laugh she started to feel more like herself and she was becoming more relaxed with guys being so close to her. Seb had definitely helped with that and the fact that when one of the mechanics next to her accidently bumped into her and it didn't make her jump in fear was proof of that.

'He's definitely not winning, my stories are way better than his,' Seb said suddenly turning his attention to Keira. He was also drinking a beer, although he hadn't want to go near the Guinness.

She grinned and looked away from Charlie's portrayal of being run over. 'True, I especially liked that one where you switched Mark's race suit for one that was way too small and tried to convince him that he screwed up with his diet.'

Seb shrugged his shoulders. 'He deserved that, he had been making nasty comments about me getting a belly,' he said indignantly. 'I mean, that's totally not true!'

'Are you sure?' she lifted an eyebrow and looked at him in amusement.

'Yes,' he said with a sly smile. 'Here, look for yourself,' he added and he lifted up his shirt, showing his flat stomach.

She was totally taken aback by this and stared at his bare skin, which definitely wasn't showing a belly. Without thinking she stretched out her hand and touched the toned muscles which were now visible. His skin was warm and it felt exactly like she had imagined, hard as a rock but still with a soft edge.

'You agree then?' he winked and he sounded a bit out of breath. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were between showing surprise and eagerness.

She quickly retracted her hand and turned red instantly. What on earth was she doing? This by no means had been an invitation to touch him and she had done s anyway. Her heart was racing from embarrassment and she was glad to see Seb had let his shirt down again. She couldn't read the expression in his eyes, but he was definitely looking different at her. His cheeks were a light pink and she could see him biting his lip, what didn't help to calm her down as he was looking extremely hot doing that.

'Do you want another round?' Chris asked them both and held up his empty glass.

'Not allowed to,' sulked Seb and he looked sadly at his own empty glass.

'You Keira?'

'Yes please,' she grinned and passed him her glass. 'I'm sorry,' she said to Seb when he looked jealously at Chris ordering more drinks.

'I hate Heikki,' he grunted and planted his elbows on the table. 'I hate always being on a diet.'

'At least it makes your stomach look nice,' she grinned and she ignored the tingle in her own stomach.

'That's something I guess,' he sighed and he looked at her again with that knowing smile. He had  leant in a bit closer to talk to her than he maybe did with others.

'You know that now I'm part of your team I'll also have to watch what you eat?' she grinned and gave him a playful nudge.

His face turned sour immediately. 'What have I done,' he hung his head. 'You were the only one who let me cheat,' he pouted.

He looked utterly adorable and all she wanted to do was give him a hug, however she was able to retain herself this time, she was not going to let it happen twice in one day.

'After you have won this championship I'll let you eat anything you want, alright?' she tried to cheer him up.

'Promise?' he said with his puppy eyes.

She grinned as she never was able to resist him when he looked like this. 'Promise.'

'Seb, tell your story about that time there was a horse inside the garage,' yelled one of the guys from across the table.

'A horse in the garage?' she looked quizzically at Seb and was sure she hadn't heard it right.

'I told you Red Bull was not your average team,' he grinned, 'so be prepared for what else is coming.'

Amazed by what apparently was happening inside a big organisation like this she decided to not be surprised anymore from now on. Her mouth curved into a smile and she focussed her attention back on Seb who was now telling the story to the group, who were listening eagerly. He had trouble not to laugh and she quickly found herself staring at his smile and glimmering eyes again.

\----------

A loud banging on the door woke Keira up and she was confused by who would be banging on her door. She quickly got out of bed and tried to fix her hair when she walked to the door. When the person started banging again she opened the door and a cheerful Seb was looking back at her.

'How on earth do you know where I sleep?' she said cautiously and she felt rather exposed in her baggy pyjamas.

'Britta,' he grinned and he clearly wasn't fazed by her appearance.

'And what exactly are you doing here?' she asked and she leaned against the door.

'Waking you up,' he answered as if that was clear from the start. He pushed himself past Keira and let himself into her room. 'You were still asleep, weren't you?' he yelled from the room back to Keira.

Not sure why exactly he was in her room she followed him back inside. He was sitting on the sofa and she was happy that she always put her dirty clothes back into her suitcase as it would be embarrassing if he had found dirty bras or something laying around.

'You're very neat,' he said impressively when darting his eyes around the room. 'Anyways, I have brought you breakfast,' he looked proud of himself as he held out a bag.

When she opened it she smiled, of course he had bought her croissants. She threw one at Seb and he caught it with ease before taking a bite. They were still warm she noticed and Seb had to have gotten them himself from the bakery, what was impressive.

'Can I ask again why you are here exactly?' she said when she sat down on her bed, looking at Seb.

'Christian asked me to give you your schedule for today, so I thought I would come by instead of emailing it,' he smiled and he waved his croissant in the air.

'Don't you have somewhere to be?' she asked, still not really grasping the fact Seb was sitting in her hotel room and she was in her pyjamas.

'I have to be in the simulator today, but not right now,' he answered and he laid down on the sofa.

'So, what do I have to do today?' she asked curiously.

'First we have to collect your team gear, so you can start wearing that today. Then you'll meet with Gavin to get some finer details on your job and finally you'll attend the general team meeting. I'll be there as well, I can tell you that these are almost always boring,' he sighed and he furrowed his forehead.

'I knew they were organised, but I only got the job yesterday and haven't even officially started yet and I already have a schedule,' she laughed.

'Get used to it, I have Britta following me everywhere on a race weekends,' he sighed. 'I like her and stuff and it is great that she arranges everything, but sometimes she'll drive you crazy,' he grinned and put the last piece of croissant into his mouth.

'So, how late do we have to be at the factory?' she asked while searching for her phone to check the time.

'At eleven, so plenty of time,' he said while checking his watch.

'That's only half an hour Seb, that's not plenty of time as we still have to get to the factory,' she rolled her eyes at him not understanding the importance of time.

'Better get dressed then,' he grinned and he let his eyes linger on her pyjamas, 'because I think everyone will frown upon you arriving wearing pyjamas.'

There was nothing in her reach to throw at him so she just glared at him and started to look for clothes inside her suitcase. With Seb sitting in her room she had to get dressed inside the bathroom and she tried hard not to think of pushing Seb onto her bed and kissing him instead.


	38. Start

'How do I look?' she asked Seb. Her clothes smelled new and she couldn't stop looking at herself in the mirror, it was so strange to see herself in Red Bull clothes.

'You'll look good in anything,' he answered and he used the invitation to look at her to check her out. Clearly liking what he was seeing he grinned. 'But blue suits you.'

His compliments boosted her confidence and she felt herself grow a few centimetres when she looked back in the mirror. She tied her hair into a ponytail and was ready for what the day was bringing her next.

'I think it's time to deliver you to Gavin then, as you also look the part now,' Seb scratched the back of his neck and gave her a lopsided grin.

Gavin was Mark's Performance Engineer and Canadian from origin. He was only a couple of years older than she was and most of all he was really good at explaining things. He didn't mind her asking all kind of questions and answered them all happily and patiently. He was a good looking guy and very knowledgeable and she thought they would get along great during the race weekends. Of course it was only at first that they would work closely together, but she was looking forward to learn from him anyway.

With a smile on her face she looked down at one of the sheets of telemetry he had given her and listened to him explaining. However her eyes kept going to the other side of the room, where Seb was spinning around in one of the office chairs. He was grinning like a little school boy and almost smashed himself against one of the desks when he had spun around too enthusiastically. He smiled apologetically when he saw her looking and went back to spinning his chair. She shook her head and focused her attention back on Gavin.

A loud bang then interrupted their talk and when Keira looked over her shoulder to see what had happened she saw Seb laying on the ground with the chair on top of him. He had finally pushed his luck and now had to pay for it. She grinned and put down her sheets to help Seb untangle himself as he clearly was not able to do so himself.

'One day you'll hurt yourself badly, you know?' she smirked and she pulled the chair off him.

Glad that he was freed Seb stood up and tried to hide his slight embarrassment. 'I guess I'm used to finding the limits,' he shrugged his shoulders, but a cheeky smile played on his lips.

'Don't you have somewhere to be anyway, you told me you had to do simulator work?' she lifted one of her eyebrows when she realised that him being here was probably not in his schedule.

His shoulders drooped a little and he checked his watch. 'I just wanted to make sure you were alright,' he smiled while his voice sounded defensive.

'You'll get me fired before I have even officially started,' she replied and she could see Gavin look at them from behind his desk.

'I'll see you later then?' Seb was picking up his stuff and made his way to the door.

'Yes, go do important stuff now please,' she laughed and hushed him out the room. Their eyes locked for a bit longer than they normally did and she tried to ignore the signals her body was trying to send her.

'Let's continue then?' Gavin spoke in an amused voice.

That brought Keira back to her senses and while keeping her face straight she sat down next to Gavin again.

\---------

It had been another long day and she was sure that this job was way too stressful for her. Her last few days in the factory had been so crazy busy that sometimes even her schedule needed a schedule to be dealt with. For Seb it had all looked easy and she envied his energy levels and especially patience. She however still needed to work on those areas, but mostly she needed to start learning some names. She had met so many different people who she would be working with at the track or the factory and she only remembered like five of them. Only two days were left before she flew back to Switzerland where she would only have time to pack her bags and would already be on a plane to Singapore the next day. She laughed at how quickly her life had changed suddenly, she already had been on more planes by next week than she normally would have been in a whole year.

A loud knock on the door startled her as she had been deep in thought. She knew who it was, because no one else would be at her hotel door. Her mood suddenly took a turn for the better and she checked herself in the large mirror before opening the door.

'You know, it would be pretty handy if you just gave me a key. I have been knocking like a idiot these past days,' was the first thing Seb said when he was let into the room.

'Yeah, no. Definitely not, what if I was getting dressed or something and you barged through the door?' she grinned and she started to make coffee. As they both had a slight caffeine addiction it had became a routine for her to give him coffee whenever he was in her room.

'I wouldn't mind that,' he grinned and his eyes were a little bit too eager to pass it as a joke.

She felt her cheeks flush once again, but she ignored it and gave Seb a stern look and rolled her eyes as she sat down on the sofa. He had been a lot more cheeky lately and she wasn't sure if he was just pulling her leg or that it could be something more? Although they hadn't been as close as at that night at the party, but they both caught each other staring when they thought the other wasn't looking and whenever they locked eyes it seemed like his eyes were showing hints of eagerness in some way. She knew she was imagining things and maybe that was because she wanted these things to be true. No, that was not it. Definitely that wasn't it, or was it?

She had been thinking a lot about him these days and maybe that was because he spent so much time with her, but also because of the way he wrapped his fingers around his coffee mug, like he did right now. Or because of how he ran his fingers through his hair and made it all look messy, or even because of how he slipped in the words like 'honestly' and 'obviously' into their conversations. Not to mention that million dollar smile of his what made her knees wobble every time or how dramatic he could be whenever something went differently than he had wanted it to go. Another thing what kept popping up in her head was him cracking jokes, one of his biggest assets and how that German accent of his turned her on whenever he spoke. Stop, that was enough and she couldn't dare to look up at the perpetrator of her feelings. This was not true, she thought, although she knew that it was.

'You alright?' Seb had spotted Keira's red face and didn't understand what was going on. He put down his mug and moved a bit closer to her.

Right, this was definitely not helping, not one bit. Her breathing became more rapid and his perfect eyes staring into hers didn't help either, it only made it worse. Not to speak about his fingers which were now pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she almost stopped breathing entirely.

'I'm tired, long day,' was the only thing she could think of to say. She needed to increase this space between them, but she was already with her back against the arm of the sofa and wasn't able to move away any further.

'When can watch a film together? We don't have to do anything, just staying here is fine by me,' he suggested and his hand was now resting on one of her legs.

'The hotel lets you rent films, so yes that'll work,' she replied and the hand on her leg made her insides burn.

'Alright, you get something to drink other than coffee then and I'll choose a film,' he said happily and he finally retracted his hand. He stood up from the sofa and jumped on the bed, which was now tidy after the cleaning staff had cleaned the room. 'Your bed is better than mine,' he sulked and he stretched his legs and arms to make himself as comfortable as possible.

'I'm not trading with you,' she grinned as she picked up two beers from the mini bar. She used the opener and joined Seb on the bed.

'We can share?' he chuckled and a mischievous smile appeared on his face and he didn't look away when Keira almost choked on a sip of beer.

'You're so funny,' she said as she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. 'Here, your beer,' she passed him the bottle and put her pillow against the headboard to make herself more comfortable.

'I know,' he grinned and he picked up the remote to select a film.

She took another sip of her beer, this time keeping it inside her mouth instead of spraying it through the room. She wasn't able to get rid of the image Seb had put into her head and kept thinking about them sharing the bed. The bed was big enough for the two of them, but somehow the image inside her head didn't make use of that space. There she had her body close to his and her nose in his hair, making her head dizzy with that scent of petrol and mint. Also he would have one of his strong arms wrapped around her waist, making her feel safe and comfortable. The rest of her thoughts were too explicit and dangerous to even think about, as she was sure that they would instantly turn her on and that would definitely give away what she was thinking about.

'Are you there? I asked you if this one was alright?' Seb was waving his hands in front of Keira's face as her eyes had glazed over.

'I'm sorry,' she said quickly and focussed her eyes on the TV. 'That's fine,' she answered with her heart still beating faster and not processing what she was staring at.

Seb pressed play and the film started playing, silencing them both. She made sure to keep her distance and tried hard to focus on the film and not the body that was sat next to her. Whenever she was tempted to look away she took a sip of her beer and with a sneak peek observed her friend. The look of concentration on his face was very attractive, as his lips were slightly parted and his forehead furrowed a bit, but the best bits were the small smiles that appeared every few minutes when something funny happened on the screen.

When she had been giving him one of her little peeks he suddenly did the same and their eyes met, making them both blush. She hastily leaned away from him to put her empty beer bottle on the night stand, but froze when she felt his arm pulling her back. His eyes were giving her a look she couldn't rightly interpret as she hadn't seen it before. So instead she focused on him pulling her closer against him and he now had his arm around her shoulders. It felt better than she had imagined and she couldn't focus on the film anymore, the feeling of his skin on hers had her preoccupied. She could feel him breathing and the warmth of his body did more to her than only warm her own.

They sat in silence for a while like that and she had finally been able to relax and had even put her head on his shoulder. He had only turned his head and given her a lopsided grin before turning back to the screen. However she froze when he started to play with her hair, because it was something David always did and it suddenly brought back memories and therefore also the fear. She didn't dare move because his body against hers felt so good, but David made it once again hard for her to enjoy life.

'What's wrong?' Seb had noticed Keira's body stiffen and turned his head to look at her. His face was now really close to hers and his eyes revealed him being worried.

'Nothing,' she tried to brush it off like it hadn't been a big thing and smiled weakly. He didn't know about David and that made the situation a whole lot easier.

'I can tell when you're lying,' he said in a soft voice and the corners of his mouth lifted a little.

She rested her head against the headboard and sighed. 'Bloody rubbish that is,' she grimaced.

'I know something is wrong, I have known from the beginning. So please tell me as I keep ending up doing things that make you crumple with fear and I hate to be responsible for that,' he said uncertainly and his fingers were now wiping away a tear from Keira's cheek as tears had welled up in her eyes.

'You're not the one who's responsible for that,' she answered as she tried to choke back her tears. With her eyes closed she fought against herself and the fear that kept coming back, she had promised herself to be strong. She then suddenly felt Seb's touch again a he was now cupping her face with one hand. She opened her eyes again and he was way closer than she had anticipated, his blue eyes were filled with worry and she felt an urge to also want to touch his face.

'Someone's been hurting you,' he said in a harsh but gentle voice, it also wasn't a question. 'I've seen your bruised wrists, also your face was different when you came back and the way you jumped when I touched you the first time we met was really all I needed to know,' this time his voice sounded bitter.

Hearing these words from his mouth shot a shiver up her spine, he had known all along. So much for her thinking she had done a good job in covering up, she hated to think that he had seen her in that state. Also this situation being easy to deal with had now gone out of the window sadly.

'I'm really sorry for you,' he began hesitantly. 'I must have been horrible and I can't imagine what you've been through. The only thing I know is that this person is a monster, who could ever lay a finger on such a perfect girl,' he said shaking his head.

With a weak smile she grabbed his hand. 'It isn't your fault and please don't feel sorry for me. I like to move on and forget that it ever happened.'

He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms gently around Keira's body. 'As long as you know you're safe with me,' he whispered softly in her ear and he then planted a kiss on her hair. It was clear that he wanted to know more, but the determined look on Keira's face made him bite his tongue.

That's exactly how she felt in his arms, safe and she nuzzled against his chest more closely. She didn't want to be alone right now as she wouldn't be able to keep the bad thoughts away and she was thankful that Seb didn't mind her intruding his personal space. She noticed him leaning back against the headboard and moved herself a bit closer so that they both were comfortable. His heartbeat was steady and it calmed her down by just listening to it. She closed her eyes and wrapped one of her arms around his waist, by which he replied to with putting his arm around her own waist. With the other hand he was stroking her hair slowly and she felt her body relax, this was exactly where she wanted to be right now.


	39. Preperations

It was dark when he woke up and an aching pain in his back made him realise that he wasn't laying comfortably in his bed. A heavy weight on his chest confirmed that suspicion and when he looked down he could see the long brown hair of Keira spread across his torso. Damn it, they had done it again. Just like the last time they had watched a film together on her bed, they had fallen asleep in that position. However that time they had woken up before it was actually time to go to bed and he had made it back to his own room for the night. This time it had been considerably later, because they had gone out in the town for drinks with a few others. It had been a lot of fun and the last time to relax before having to focus on next race weekend again and maybe Keira had a bit more to drink than she had wanted to. She had been a lot happier though and she had kept making all kind of inappropriate jokes to anyone they had encountered on their way back to the hotel. In the end they hadn't been able to stop laughing and not wanting to already say goodbye to her he had invited her back to his room to watch another film.

Trying not to wake her he moved her carefully to the pillow that was laying next to him and cracked his neck as it had gone rather stiff. How had they ended up like this again? This time they also were in his own room, so he wasn't able to sneak out now. He looked at the peaceful sleeping girl and it was for the first time that he could really look at her without having to be afraid that she would catch him staring. She looked beautiful even when she was sleeping and the fact that he could wake her was the only thing that kept him from stroking her hair. There was no point in denying that he liked her anymore, although he had tried his hardest not to. He had slipped up so many times over the past few days that even she must have noticed it, he thought. It was dangerous territory, he knew that and it took a lot of self control to not just kiss her whenever he saw her. He knew he had fucked up, just as Fernando had told him, but there was no going back now.

With a sigh he cursed himself for fucking everything up and he cautiously got out of bed, while making sure not to wake Keira. In the bathroom he stared at himself in the mirror and noticed that he really should shave as he now looked almost like a tramp. He had done rather well to add even more pressure on himself, as now focussing on the championship was even harder. Also he knew Fernando would do anything to get to him and he hated to think that he would be able to win Keira over and tell her that one thing he couldn't do himself. Cursing at his reflection he took off his clothes and turned the shower on.

After taking a very long shower he made his way back to the bedroom. He was only wearing some clean boxers as he had forgotten to bring something else to wear. Normally he slept in his underwear, but he obviously was not able to do that now as Keira was also sleeping in his bed. He quickly slipped on some sweatpants and decided that a shirt was not necessary. Before he stepped into the bed he made sure that the sheets were covering Keira fully as he didn't want her to get cold. She moaned a little when he pulled up the sheets to her face and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. These things didn't help at all to not overstep the line and do things that could so easily upset her, or a lot of other people. With the scent of her hair still lingering in the air when he laid down next to her made him want to pull her close against his body. Control yourself, he told himself and he turned over so that he was now facing away from her.

Sunlight was peering through the window and it woke Keira up, clearly she had forgotten to close the curtains. She opened her eyes and immediately noticed this wasn't her room, as everything was mirrored. Still confused she turned over and almost got an heart attack as there was someone else in the bed. With her heart thumping she relaxed somewhat when she recognised the blonde hair of Sebastian. Although it raised another question, why on earth was she in his bed? She quickly lifted the sheets and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that she was still fully dressed. However that raised another question, why was she sleeping in her clothes anyway? When she looked sideways at Seb she could see he definitely wasn't wearing his clothes as the sheets had slipped off him, exposing his shirtless body. Damn, he really was gorgeous, she thought and her stomach twitched in agreement.

After laying awake for a few minutes her eyes were still on Seb, as she finally had the opportunity to observe him shirtless. She only had seen him change his shirt once and that definitely hadn't been long enough for her, she could stare at his perfect body for hours probably. She was also really glad that he didn't snore, because that would definitely take away from this moment. She grinned and adjusted her pillow to make herself more comfortable. He looked so peaceful sleeping and that made her like him even more than she already did. Wait, was she now really admitting to herself that she indeed liked him? The fact that she couldn't think of something that she didn't like about him was a rather clear indication of that. It made her heart beat faster as she remembered what had happened the last time she liked someone, but she quickly shoved that memory out of her thoughts. No, she was not letting that get to her again, not now she was able to shamelessly stare at a half naked Seb.

With some unclear words slipping from his mouth Seb moved around, but he was still sleeping. However he was now noticeably closer to her and without thinking she did something she had wanted to do for a long time. She stretched her arm and gently ran her fingers through his hair, making her stomach lurch in reply. She smiled when touching him made her fingertips tingle, she indeed had really started to like him. How she could have denied that to herself for so long, she didn't know, but it intensified everything massively. She let her fingers move to his face and his stubble tickled her skin, making it feel like a shock of electricity had hit her body. He was perfect in every way and when she ran her fingers through his hair again she found herself a lot closer to his face than she had been at first.

Suddenly Seb's eyes snapped open and after initial confusion his mouth curved into a smile. She had almost toppled of the bed as she had not expected him to do that. With a red face she looked back into his eyes and the satisfied smile on his face made the butterflies in her stomach only worse.

'Hey,' he said slowly with a grin and he rubbed his eyes as he still was rather sleepy.

'Good morning,' she replied innocently as he hadn't just caught her with her hands on his body.

'Slept well?' he asked, still smiling and he tugged a strand of Keira's hair behind her ear.

'Good enough, sleeping in my clothes is just not as comfortable,' she grinned and pointed at her Red Bull shirt.

'You were already sleeping, so I didn't want to wake you,' he said sounding guilty.

She crossed her legs to sit more comfortably and chuckled. 'That was very sweet of you, always the gentleman,' she smiled.

'I always try,' he answered looking serious, but the corners of his mouth had lifted slightly.

'Shall I order room service? As a gentleman pays for breakfast, right?' she asked cheekily and reached for the phone.

Seb put his hands on his head and rolled his eyes while he grinned. 'And girls always have to take advantage of that, right?' he shot back at her.

'I just act like I didn't hear you,' she stuck her tongue out at him and turned her attention back on the phone, it was time for some croissants.

\----------

The company car was definitely an upgrade as she was used to her parents old car. It was great to work for a company that build race cars as that made them think cars were very important. She could always put in a request to borrow a car and that had been perfect for today. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as the light wasn't turning green quick enough according to her. The traffic in London had been horrible, but it all had been worth it to visit her sister. She hadn't seen her in a long time and she of course had to tell her about her new job in person. She had told her parents and her sister on the phone a couple of days back, but since her sister was now living in London she had found an opportunity to just squeeze in a visit before she had to catch her flight back to Switzerland.

She parked the car outside the factory and made sure it was locked, she did not want to get a car stolen when she was just starting the job. When she walked back to the factory she was joined by a blonde girl she recognised as the girl who was part of Seb's mechanics, Macy.

'Hey, how are the preparations going?' Macy asked as she opened her bag to stow away her car keys. She was rather petite to be part of a pit crew, but her strong arms showed she was more than up for the job.

'Fine, just on my way to Rocky, as we have to discuss the last details before I'm flying home tonight,' she answered with a smile. Macy reminded her of Abby, only a bit smaller and a bit blonder.

'Ah, back to the other island it is then?' Macy grinned as she had recognised Keira's accent correctly.

'No, I actually live in Switzerland right now. Long story, but that's what I call home at the moment,' Keira grinned as she saw the confusion on Macy's face. Yes, this definitely wasn't a quick story to explain.

'So that's why you know Seb?' Macy asked while swiping her card to open the doors.

Keira nodded and Macy's happiness was contagious as she herself felt more cheerful when they entered the factory. It was clear that Macy worked here for a long time already as she seemed to know everyone they came across.

'I see you at the race weekend then,' Macy stopped in front of the stairs, as she had to go another way. 'I know how the first race weekend is and it will be overwhelming, I promise. However it is also fantastic to work in this kind of atmosphere and you'll quickly get used to it, don't worry,' she said and she gave Keira an encouraging smile. With a wave she turned around and disappeared, leaving Keira alone.

The nerves had well and truly returned and she almost jumped when someone opened a door. There was still almost a week to go until the race, so it would be of no use to start worrying already. She took a deep breath to calm herself and made her way to her office. Yes she had an office and that excited her more than it really should do, although she shared it with Gavin it was still really awesome.

After meeting with Gavin there was a large team meeting to discuss the upcoming weekend before everybody started to fly out to Singapore. She took a back seat, because she wasn't able to contribute to the conversation as much as the others, but every now and then people asked her a question. It had surprised her how well it all went and after the meeting her confidence levels were definitely higher, she was proud of not making a fool of herself. With a smile on her face she started to gather all the things she needed to bring with her to the racetrack.

\---------

'What on earth did you bring that you need a suitcase this large? You were only here for a couple of days,' Keira was standing in Seb's room with her own luggage, waiting for Seb to finish packing.

'I need a lot of stuff,' was his defence and he continued packing.

'I thought it was girls who needed a lot of things, but your luggage is almost twice the size of mine,' she shook her head and chuckled at the death stare he shot back at her. 'Do you need help? Because if we don't leave soon, we'll miss our flight,' she said as she checked her watch. Was this really the same guy as the one who was always on time during the race weekends?

'Shut up and go annoy someone else,' was his response.

'Do you want me to call Heikki to ask for advice? Or tell him you have eaten chips almost every night?' she grinned and took a few steps back as he was now packing his shoes.

'You're as bad as him, you know that right?' he tried to sound upset, but the corners of his mouth had turned up however.

'I'll leave without you if you're not careful, I'm perfectly capable of getting my own ass to the airport,' she said coolly and she threw a few dirty Red Bull shirts in his direction which he still needed to pack.

'You'll be bored without me,' he said cheekily and he had finally put everything into his suitcase. 'Let's go,' he exclaimed like it wasn't him who had kept them waiting.

She rolled her eyes and followed him, it was true though that she would be bored without him. She had gotten so used to having him around and his constant jokes cheered her up whenever she was nervous or feeling a bit down. Not that it was only his jokes that made her want to spend time with him, because she knew she couldn't stop thinking about him anyway.

The taxi was already waiting and Seb was nice enough to also put her luggage into the trunk, before opening the door for her to get inside. She smiled appreciatively and when he sat down next to her she immediately didn't care anymore that the taxi was a bit small. During their trip to the airport they discussed the upcoming weekend and Seb told her about what he used to do with his former performance engineer and what she could expect during the weekend. In return she asked him about his chances this weekend and tried her hardest to cheer him up, although the topic Alonso was still a bit awkward to talk about.

When they finally sat down in their chairs, she started to relax. They had to hurry massively, because Seb had been stopped for autographs a few times and he always liked to have a chat with anyone and that ended up them almost missing their flight.

'I'm sorry for making you run,' he said as he had put his bag under the chair in front of him. He looked at Keira with that perfect smile and his eyes showed that he wasn't sorry at all.

'I really need to start working out,' she answered and her cheeks were still burning from the effort it took to run.

'You can join me on my runs?' his eyes lit up when he thought of that option.

'You don't want me to slow you down,' she chuckled and she fastened her seatbelt.

'Oh come on, if I'm not tired enough I can always carry you home,' he laughed and he leaned a little closer to her, so that their shoulders were touching.

'Yes, I definitely think Heikki will approve of that,' she also leaned in a bit closer while in the meantime she tried to untangle her headphones. At that moment a stewardess came to check if everything was in the right place for takeoff and wished them a pleasant flight. With a smile she put her headphones in and closed her eyes, ready to go home.


	40. Nerves

She normally wasn't jetlagged that easily and the fact that everybody stayed on European time made the transition to being in Singapore quite smooth. She couldn't remember ever seeing one of the races in Singapore, so she was excited for the night race, everybody said it was a completely different experience. The first days she had used to get accustomed to the whole roller coaster that was Formula 1 and that's why Christian had send her out a few days earlier than she would normally do. It had all been a bit overwhelming, but just walking through the paddock in her Red Bull gear made her feel important. She was happier than she could remember and it was great to walk between the motor homes of her favourite teams.

She had had it relatively easy, but today had been rather busy as Thursdays were really the start of the weekend. She was told that on Thursdays she should keep her schedule clear as there was always someone popping in to ask to check some things or discuss parts of the car. As she was also supporting Seb's race engineer when the car was on track, with brakes and fuel management, that meant that a lot of these questions on that area would be directed to her. Indeed a few mechanic had wanted information on the brakes, Rocky had wanted to discuss some parts of the data and even Seb had came by to clarify something.

'You seem distracted,' Seb said as he noticed Keira's eyes were glazed over.

She quickly got back to reality and looked at Seb. 'I'm sorry, just thinking about how busy today has been and how much busier the weekend will become,' she smiled and focused her attention back on the food. She and Seb had gone out for dinner as it was the last time they would really have time to relax.

'You did great, a lot better than I did on my first day anyway,' he grinned and he took a sip of his water.

'It was all so hectic and there are so many different people you need to work with, how anyone can keep up is a mystery,' she said and she indeed hadn't thought she would get through this day because of the workload.

'That's just the beginning, in no time it's all normal and you'll find your own way of doing things,' he replied with encouragement. 'To be honest, you work quite similar as your predecessor, so everyone is already happy to work with you,' he smiled.

'I just hope not to fuck it up,' that was indeed her worst fear, especially because she was working on Seb's side of the garage. She had no idea how he would react if she did something that messed up his championship chances. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to work with your friends after all.

'I fucked up many times, you win and you lose together. Don't forget that,' he laughed and took another bite of his food. 'Don't worry too much, you always do that,' he added with a grin and a shake of his head.

'Oh shut up,' was her reply and she gave him the finger, but couldn't help grinning when he did the same. Luckily there weren't many other people around as it was night in Singapore, because they stayed on UK time it meant they were eating dinner during very strange hours.

After they had both eaten enough, or in Seb's case as much he was allowed to, they went back to the hotel. As it had became normal for them to be in her room or in his to hang out Seb invited her back to his room before they both had to go to sleep. Seb insisted on playing a stupid Scrabble game as he had found the game in one of the cabinets in the living room. It was an English version, so she beat him massively to Seb's displeasure. He didn't know that her sister and herself always challenged each other to use weird and uncommon words like 'aspergillum', which is an object used to sprinkle holy water in religious ceremonies. Every time she laid down a word like this he could only say things like 'honestly' and 'what are we doing here?' and frustration was visible on his face. That only made her up her game even more and her cheeks were hurting from laughing so much, because he was being utterly adorable when he was losing.

\----------

The first two practice sessions ended both with Seb topping the timesheets, what made everybody in the team extremely happy. He clearly liked this circuit very much and he was very upbeat when he returned to the garage. She had been busy during both the sessions, but she still had noticed herself smiling when she heard him talk on the radio. He always sounded so calm and collected that you almost wouldn't expect him to be driving around that fast.

'Your guy did well,' Macy had made her way over to where Keira was sitting and pulled off some of her protective gear.

'Yes, he did,' she smiled back and hoped it wasn't too obvious that she was ecstatic and wanted to hug him when she saw him. 'You did well too,' she replied.

'Nah, there's no real pressure on us right now, Sunday will be the real test,' Macy sighed and she put her hair into a pony tail.

'But you also prepared the car, so at least you did something good today. Right?' Keira said as she wanted to at least make Macy feel good about herself. As the only girl among the guys she had decided that it was her job to keep an eye on her and boost her confidence, as these guys would certainly not do that.

'I'm so glad we have another girl in here, I missed that you know?' it was clear that Macy appreciated Keira's efforts and she waved as a few of the other mechanics said goodbye to her.

'I don't know anyone here besides Seb really, so I can understand that it must be lonely sometimes to just discuss how hot all these guys are,' Keira grinned as she followed one of the better looking guys with her eyes.

'Exactly, I can tell you a lot about that, so if you're interested...' with a cheeky smile Macy turned her head back to Keira. 'Do you want to join us for dinner tonight?' she asked.

She knew Seb was busy tonight, so she had prepared herself on eating alone already. 'That would be great, if the others don't mind?'

'They are guys, do you really think they would object to another girl joining them?' Macy chuckled and she threw her head back when she laughed.

After finishing up the last things for the day Keira went back to the hotel to change, running into Seb on her way back.

'You look great, what are you up to?' he asked and his eyes were on Keira, clearly impressed with her appearance.

'Having dinner with Macy and some of the mechanics,' she said happily and checked her watch for the time. 'So I have to hurry, forgot the time when in the shower,' she said while waiting for the lift.

'Already making friends then? That's good to see,' he said with an appreciative smile.

'By the way, good job today, you were awesome. I told you that you would do great!' she said happily while giving him a hug. The hug wasn't at all necessary, but she just wanted an opportunity to be close to him and feel his body against hers. Her stomach told her that she wanted more than just a hug, but she made sure that she would keep it all professional. Her heart was beating faster than before and she was sure that Seb would notice if she didn't pull away soon. His strong arms kept her close though and she surrendered to her feelings and put her nose in his hair. His face was now very close to hers and she felt his lips brushing her neck. Before she could do anything about it a whimper had left her mouth and she pushed him away quickly, leaving her feeling embarrassed for not controlling herself.

'Do you really have to go with them? You can join me, you know,' he said with a cheeky grin as he ignored the look of embarrassment on Keira's face. It was clear that he didn't mind what had happened and he somehow looked even more confident with himself.

'Yes, I promised them and you must be glad to not spend more time with me,' she replied awkwardly and stared at the noses of her shoes. She had really fucked up this time, although Seb was given her mixed signals again, like he had done over the past few days. Sometimes it looked like he didn't notice her stupid slip ups, but sometimes he seemed to even start these little moments between them. Confused she checked her phone and saw she had a message from Macy.

**Macy - Don't dress too fancy, or the guys will not be able to have a normal conversation with you!**

She chuckled when she read the message, she was turning out to be like Abby more than she thought she would. It almost felt like she had known Macy for longer than a week or so and she was glad that she had just put on some jeans and one of her casual shirts.

'Fernando?' Seb asked suspiciously as he saw Keira smiling at her phone. His grin had disappeared and he was trying to read the message on her phone.

'No, Macy,' she smiled. 'So I have to go, see you tomorrow,' she added and pushed the lift button again.

'Have fun then,' he replied and he was smiling again. When Keira had told him it wasn't Fernando who had send her that message he had relaxed and his voice sounded soft again.

During dinner she already felt more part of the team, most of the guys she had met in the factory or worked with over the weekend, but there were still a few unfamiliar faces. They were trying their best to make her feel welcome and they asked her about how she got to the team and what she had done in college. In return she wanted to know how it was to work for such a big team and how the atmosphere was to work in. Of course they all told her it was the dream job, although some of them were away from their young children and partner for a long time. Happy that she was still free to go with no responsibilities she sympathized with them and enjoyed them showing pictures of their families.

'You enjoying it so far?' separating herself from the conversation Macy nudged Keira who was sitting next to her.

'Yes, they seem like a great bunch,' she answered and she watched the guys discussing the baby pictures. They definitely were big softies underneath their macho appearances. She chuckled and it made her like them even more.

'Whenever they appear on TV they all act like alpha males, but the rest of the time they aren't like that, although they themselves want to believe they are,' Macy grinned and made sure the others couldn't hear her.

'Do you have your eye on one of them?' Keira asked when she noticed Macy staring at a few of the guys on the other side of the table. She wouldn't blame her, because a lot of them were single and definitely good looking.

'No,' with her face turning red Macy quickly drained her glass of wine.

Of course that gave away there was someone special and she now was curious who it was. 'Come on, tell me more,' she chuckled as Macy was trying to hide her red face from her colleagues. If she knew who it was, maybe she could help setting them up, she always liked to do that to people.

'Alright, there is someone. Although he is not from the team,' Macy whispered and she leaned towards Keira to make sure no one could hear her speak.

'Ah, you like the dark side,' she grinned. She knew that being in a relationship with someone from another team could be frowned upon, because everyone was afraid that information would be leaked.

'If you tell anyone, I'll murder you,' with red cheeks and a flustered look Macy leaned towards Keira. 'Or I'll tell anyone about Seb,' she grinned and a cheeky smile appeared.

Now it was Keira's turn to turn crimson. 'What do you mean?' she muttered, paranoid that someone else was listening in to their conversation.

'Oh come on, you like him,' the body language of Macy showed she thought it was rather obvious.

Damn it, that was another one who had noticed, she really needed to up her game. From now on she would only talk to Seb professionally and she would no longer hang out with him in between the sessions. He also had better things to do in that time, so she would make sure that he was not wasting his time on her.

'I don't blame you, he's hot as hell. Not as hot as Jenson though, but-,' Macy stopped talking abruptly, realising what she had just said. A horrified look appeared on her face and she put her hand over her mouth, not believing what she had just revealed.

'Ah, so Button then?' Keira was rather surprised, but she also was relieved that she was not the only one with an eye on a driver. 'Good choice,' she winked at Macy.

Macy had now put her head in her hands and was making weird noises. 'Why did I tell you that,' she said sounding muffled.

'Well, we know each other's secrets already so I think we should be friends from now on,' Keira chuckled and she pulled Macy back up in her chair.

'Yes, very dangerous information, we can never let each other go now,' the normal colour of Macy's face had now returned and she was able to smile again.

'But Button, how come?' Keira was now curious because normally teams didn't have much to do with other teams.

'I did an internship a couple of years ago at Honda, when Jenson was part of the team,' Macy shrugged her shoulders and blushed.

'So, this is a serious thing?' Keira raised her eyebrows. She was really surprised, normally this kind of crushes tend to go away, but it had been a couple of years already for Macy.

Macy blushed again and quickly downed her glass of wine. 'I tried to get over him, but running in to him every other week doesn't really help. He's always so nice to me, definitely not the typical arrogant racing driver sadly,' she sighed and poured herself another glass of wine.

'Hey girls, what are you whispering about?' Chris asked and he poked his head between the two girls.

'None of your business,' Macy had her attitude back and pushed Chris away.

'You're no fun. I hope you're better than her Keira,' Chris now directed his attention to Keira and put his arm around her shoulder.

'No luck here either,' she grinned and laughed at the face Chris pulled. 'Although if you really want to know, we were discussing the poor fashion choices you all make when we're not in team gear,' she said with a straight face.

Chris looked down at his shirt, unsure if she was serious or not. Both girls looked at each other, trying not to laugh and joined in discussing which livery was the best on the grid this year.


	41. Unexpected

The morning, if you could call it morning, had gone quickly and Seb had once again topped the timesheets, which made everybody extremely positive that he could do the same in qualifying. Keira took off her headphones and shook hands with the guys sitting next to her, congratulating each other on the good job. She noticed Seb climbing out of his car and he was beaming with adrenaline and happiness, his smile bigger than she had seen in a long time. When he zipped open his race suit to cool off she found herself staring at him again, damn it. She quickly looked around if someone had seen her and luckily everybody was still busy finishing things up.

'There are a few points in the telemetry which I would like to discuss, I think we can still optimise these area's for qualifying,' Rocky somehow had appeared out of nowhere and was now standing next to Keira.

She almost fell of her chair when she heard his voice and she didn't understand how she could have missed him. 'You almost scared me to death,' she said while trying to steady her heartbeat again.

Rocky laughed and patted her on the back. 'Would be a bit inconvenient, we still need you for the rest of the weekend,' he grinned and he rearranged the sheets her was carrying. 'So I think we can be done before lunch if we start now,' he added.

'Give me a few seconds, I'll be right back,' she answered as her eyes were now back on Seb. When Rocky nodded and started a discussion with one of the mechanics she slipped off her chair and made her way over to Seb, who was chatting with a man from Renault.

'That's a hat trick for you, you couldn't have started the weekend any better,' she smiled when Seb had finished his conversation.

He recognised that voice and when he looked over his shoulder he spotted a smiling Keira standing there. Still full of adrenaline the only reasonable thing he could think of was to lift her up and swing her around, making Keira scream in shock. He laughed when he spotted the look of terror on her face, he always enjoyed messing with her desire to control everything. When he finally put her down she almost lost her balance as the swinging had made her dizzy. He was just in time to catch her and that caused him holding Keira in his arms, close against his body. His stomach twitched when her face was suddenly this close and her heavy breathing caused his body to react in ways he didn't want it to do.

'You're sweaty,' was her reply to what happened and she started laughing at the situation.

He quickly let her go as he didn't want her to be disgusted by him. 'Singapore is probably the most physical demanding circuit on the calendar, what do you think what would happen?' he replied and he took one of the water bottles that were handed to him.

'Doesn't mean you have to use me as a wipe,' she grinned and she pointed at her Red Bull shirt which now showed a few wet patches.

'Tough luck,' he grinned and he stuck his tongue out at her. She didn't seem to mind at all, she just liked to wind him up, he knew that by now. He reminded himself not to fall into her trap every time, but he always was distracted by her which meant she could strike easily.

'You're always so polite, not that I'm surprised after what Rocky tells me all the time,' she chuckled and she pointed over her shoulder at his race engineer.

'What did he tell you then?' he asked suddenly unsure about himself. He knew Rocky was a blabbermouth, so what on earth had he told her?

'That's something between him and I, too bad isn't it?' she shrugged her shoulders innocently and tilted her head while her mouth curved into a smile.

'Someday I'll get you two back, I have enough power to make that happen,' he was not going to let her win this time.

'It would be more convenient if you would put that energy into driving your car. Or would you like Fernando to win this championship?' she replied with her sweetest smile and her hands on her hips.

He didn't know what to answer so he just gave her an angry glare and muttered some curse words under his breath. However the smirk on her face made his heart melt and his eyes were drawn to her pink lips, this wasn't working at all.

'I have to discuss some things with Rocky now and if you could come by later to talk about some changes on the car?' she said.

He already had forgotten about the car and was thinking about other things he would like to do, none of which were safe to share with anyone else. Him kissing her right here in the garage was one of those things and it took him a lot of effort to take in what she had said.

'Yes?' she tried to get an answer out of him.

'Of course,' he finally managed to say. Why did she have to look so adorable right now? 'Tell Rocky that I'll be there shortly, first I have to change into something less sweaty,' he grinned. He hated the feeling of everything sticking to his body and he was desperate to take a shower. He watched her going back to Rocky and thought he was lucky to have her on his team.

\----------

Qualifying was disappointing after such a promising weekend, Seb could only manage to get third on the grid and Mark was even further down in seventh. Somehow they had gone the wrong way in setup and Seb was angry that he was out qualified by Maldonado. It appeared that Maldonado was known for crashing a lot and also for not driving very consistently, so being out qualified by him felt as an embarrassment to anyone. The happy Seb from this morning had disappeared and he stomped off to his private room without speaking to anyone when he got out of the car. The whole situation made for a long day for Keira as they had to find out what had gone wrong since this morning. There was a lot of data to go through and they decided on some changes with the mechanics after spotting a few things in the telemetry. In the end Seb had cooled down enough to give his feedback and at the end of the day they were all reasonably optimistic again.

She collected her things from the garage before she went to eat. Her stomach was rumbling and it had been a long day again, although it had been satisfying to find some things to improve. She waved goodbye to the ones who were still left and made her way out of the garage. It was dark, but still very busy as people were on their way back to their hotels and finishing up for the day.

'So, you're working for his team now?' a voice with a thick Spanish accent said.

Of course of all the people she had to run into Fernando. Not knowing how to act around him she just stopped walking and let him catch up. She hadn't really spoken to him anymore since that day in the club besides from a few casual texts they had exchanged.

'Did he get you a catering job or do you have to carry his bag around?' he was smiling, but it was clear he couldn't let an opportunity pass to make fun of Sebastian. He was still in his Ferrari outfit and the hat he was wearing hid his wavy hair, which made him look a lot less attractive somehow.

It hurt to hear Fernando speak about Seb or even herself in this way and she didn't like his tone. 'I'm his new performance engineer, thank you very much,' she said in a cold voice and started walking again.

He seemed taken aback by that and his confident smile disappeared for a moment. 'I thought he had only brought you with him because you're a pretty girl last race,' he admitted when he followed Keira walking through the paddock.

'That's the first thing you think about girls, that they are there to be pretty?' she raised her eyebrows and he wasn't making this situation any better. He was completely different than the guy she had spent an entire evening with.

'No, no,' he said quickly when now walking next to her, 'that's not what I meant. You just never told me that you were there for a job the last time,' he said.

'You never asked,' was her answer and she hoisted her bag higher on her shoulder.

'I'm sorry,' he sighed and his smile seemed less arrogant this time. His smooth appearance had cracked a bit.

She looked at his face and he indeed seemed a bit sorry. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all and it was just a Spanish thing, or a racing driver thing for what she knew.

'So, you're really smart then?' he asked and his signature smile was back. His dark brown eyes were now twinkling and he started walking a little closer to her.

'At least smart enough to land this job,' she said and she shot him a half smile. He knew how to use his charm and she couldn't resist him doing that even if she tried. A shiver shot up her spine when he put his hand on her arm and gave her that cheeky smile of his.

'Would you let me apologise to you by taking you out for drinks again tonight?' he sounded somewhat hopeful, although his appearance had not changed. His white teeth were visible and the beginning of a beard made him look even more manly.

'Not tonight, there is a lot of work I still have to finish before tomorrow, so I'm rather busy,' she said apologising. She wasn't even lying, there was indeed a stack of sheets she needed to look into and she had intended to do that while lying in bed and drinking a lot of coffee.

'Too bad, I hope I have better luck next time,' he winked and he took off his hat to fix his hair.

She didn't even know if she wanted there to be a next time, because the one she really wanted to spend time with was Seb. Although he would be a good distraction from Seb and she had rather enjoyed spending time with him, not to mention he was a good kisser.

'Good luck then tomorrow, although I'm sure I'm going to beat your guy,' he chuckled and he put his hat back on.

'You can dream, you have seen for yourself how he's on top of his game this weekend,' this time it was herself who winked and it felt good to stick up for Seb.

'We'll see,' was his answer and with a mischievous smile he set out to the Ferrari motor home.

\----------

She had been texting with Macy instead of reading the papers who were now laying forgotten on her chest. Maybe it was because she was too tired or because Macy was giving her updates on Chris, who had been trying a move on one of the girls who was working for the Lotus team. Macy apparently was on good terms with Lotus as she was good friends with Kimi's girlfriend Minttu. Therefore she had been able to bring Chris with her to dinner with the Lotus team and she was now texting every few minutes with what Chris had done next and how Laura, the girl he fancied, had reacted. It was hilarious as Macy was commentating like it was a sports event.

**Macy - He's trying to dodge the defence again (Bradley and Tracy) and is going for another attack, only to be tackled by Bradley who asked him if he irons his own shirts.**

**Keira - And does he?**

**Macy - According to him he does. Laura seemed impressed and ignored the referee when asked to stop pouring more wine.**

**Macy - Oh, he scored!!! They exchanged numbers.**

**Keira - Congratulate him from me ;)**

It seemed like Chris was making progress and she grinned, he had been so nervous all day when Macy had informed him he could join them for dinner. She hoped he could make it work and waited for more updates from Macy.

A noise from outside her room grabbed her attention and she froze when she suddenly heard the door of her room being opened. Like it was the most normal thing in the world Sebastian stepped inside and flopped down next to her on her bed.

'How on earth are you able to get into my room?' she asked suspiciously. Seb was still laying face down on her bed and she couldn't understand the muffling that he produced with his face in one of the pillows.

He rolled over and grinned, clearly pleased with himself. 'Used my charm on the girl from the reception,' he said with a cheeky grin and put his hand under his chin, so he was able to look at Keira.

'What would you do that for?' she raised one of her eyebrows and was still confused from Seb's sudden appearance.

'Because I can?' he grinned and he grabbed the beer that Keira had put on her nightstand.

'Hey, that's mine!' she took the beer away from him and had narrowed her eyes. 'You're not even allowed to drink and I don't like you having my room key,' she added with a stern voice.

'Too bad, because I'm not going to give it back,' he said with a cheeky smile. 'I'm here most of the time anyway, so it's only fair that I can let myself in.'

'You can give me the key of your room so I can stay there when you stay here,' she grinned. That would be an immense upgrade, so she did like that plan.

'You don't like spending time with me?' he asked with a sad face.

'I do,' she assured him and a corner of her mouth lifted when she saw his eyes lighting up. She noticed another message from Macy and opened it immediately.

**Macy - Game is suspended, time ran out. Hopefully next time it will be the decider!**

**Keira - I'm looking forward to it. At least he tried, haha!**

'I don't understand you girls, what on earth are you talking about?' Seb had been looking over Keira's shoulder and also read the message.

'Good, because we talk in code. You nosy guys like yourself keep trying to interfere in our lives, so we girls had to take some measures,' she pushed him away and started to gather all the papers which were now spread across the bed.

Seb rolled his eyes and pulled some of the paper from underneath himself and handed her the wrinkled sheets. 'Sorry,' he grinned when he noticed her annoyed face.

'You talk about girls, but I can tell you guys are a lot worse,' she shook her head and placed all the sheets back in the folder, so she wouldn't lose any of them. She could feel his eyes on her back and it made her nervous. He was looking pretty damn gorgeous tonight as he was in his normal clothes, instead of his Red Bull gear for once. His tight jeans were back on and his light grey shirt was also a lot slimmer than he normally wore. Pair that with his stubble and lazy hairdo and he had found the perfect way to make her knees wobble whenever she looked at him. 

Suddenly she felt an arm being wrapped around her waist and she was pulled back on the bed. With wide eyes she looked at Seb who pushed her body against his chest, making them both go slightly pink. Her face was now hovering above his and her long hair was tickling his skin. She rested her hands on the mattress on both sides of his head and held her breath when he cupped her face with his warm hands. It felt like her chest was going to explode when he touched her skin and especially when he pulled her face even closer. She could now feel his breath and her eyes were fixed on his, determined to not look down at his lips.

They stayed in this position for a moment and she could see the smile that was playing on his lips and that made her stomach twist even more. That smile still got to her, they way his lips curved showing his perfect teeth and how the corners of his eyes crinkled when his smile reached his eyes. While still drowning in his eyes she ran her fingers through his hair, tugging on it slightly when she noticed his breathing getting heavier. A tiny whimper escaped from his lips when she tugged a little harder and he wrapped his arms around her neck in reply. She placed one of her legs on the other side of his body so that she was now hovering above him, and she felt her body respond when her legs touched his. Both their breathing had became unstable and they were only inches apart. After a few seconds Seb brought his face even closer and this time it was Keira's turn to let escape a sound of pleasure.

At that moment Seb's phone rang and that brought Keira back to her senses. She jumped off him and immediately increased the distance between them. Although he clearly hadn't mind what she had been doing, or better said what they both had been doing, it still felt wrong. He was her friend and he was a famous racing driver, clearly they couldn't be together? It would mess up everything, for example what would happen to her job if people found out. No, she was also sure that Seb was just lonely and that she was just a distraction, not someone he could actually like. With a sigh she laid down on her own part of the bed and fought her desire to continue what they had been doing when he got off the phone again.


	42. Win

She hadn't slept well, as she had kept waking up with nightmares. For some reason Seb and David had been the same person and whenever she thought she was talking to Seb he just laughed and turned back to David, making her run away in fear. She had been covered in sweat when she woke up and it had taken a few minutes to realise it was only a dream. All in all it had resulted in her being very tired and she had been yawning every few minutes during her last meeting, to Rocky's annoyance. She had found time to read through the last papers as Seb had woken her up quite early as he had felt guilty for keeping her from it the night before. She smiled when she thought about how he had been jumping on her bed to wake her, because it was a typical Seb thing to do. He had been so excited for the race already and he had infected her with his happiness. So in the end she had been able to prepare for today and the adrenaline rushing through her body was starting to wake her up considerably.

When she checked her phone she saw there was a message from Tom.

**Tom - Wish Seb good luck for the race!**

She grinned as she read the message of her best friend, he had been sending her these texts at the start of every session this weekend. When she checked the screens in the garage she could see the drivers were coming back from the drivers parade and were making their way back to their garages. So she decided to go check on Seb as he always stayed in his room in the back before the pit lane opened. He wasn't there yet, so she flopped down on the sofa and made sure her feet were hanging over the edge.

'Is this pay back for me having your room key?' Seb laughed when he walked through the door and spotted Keira on his sofa.

'It's the only comfortable place in the entire garage, so I thought you could share,' she grinned and she put her hands behind her head.

'Don't you have work to do?' he asked as he picked up one of the towels to wipe his face, the temperatures were still very high although it was now practically evening.

'Nope, finished for now. Have to be back when you get into your car, so it depends on you,' she moved her legs so there would be some space for him to sit down.

'It'll be a long race, it always goes to two hours, so I'll be glad when it's over,' he sighed as he sipped from a bottle of water. 'Also because it's warm and long I have to drink these ridiculous amounts of water, it feels like my bladder is going to burst,' he pulled a painful face.

'You know they have a solution for that?' she raised her eyebrows in amusement.

'What?' he looked confused.

'Peeing,' she said with a dead serious face.

He gasped and rolled his eyes. 'I could have expected that, thanks Captain Obvious,' he said as he stood up. 'I'll ask Christian to give you a pay rise, I mean this is some high tech ground breaking stuff,' and with that he left the room to empty his bladder.

She used the time to send some of the pictures she had taken to Tom and Abby and for Tom she made a video showing the room and what was inside. She had promised him to keep him up to date with everything and he needed her for bragging rights he could use when he was at work. She smiled, as she knew Tom would score very well with a video of Seb's room and she knew Seb wouldn't mind.

'Are you selling my secrets to Ferrari?' Seb asked when he noticed Keira filming the room when he came back.

'Yes, they made a very generous offer. I already faxed all your telemetry and next on my list was taking pictures of your car,' she answered while continuing to film.

'Ah, so you have been a spy all along?' he grinned as he folded his arms.

'I moved to Switzerland on Fernando's orders, just so you know. I also got three Ferrari's as a bonus and a holiday home in Italy,' she replied while she sent the video to Tom.

Seb stuck his tongue out and threw his hat at Keira, which she caught and put on her own head. He then picked up a clean race suit and fire proof underwear which he needed for the race. While rubbing his chin he darted his eyes around the room to try and find his boots, which weren't in their normal place.

'Oh and Domenicali is my uncle, so you better behave yourself if you don't want to wake up with a horse's head in your bed,' she grinned and she took a picture of herself wearing Seb's hat.

When Seb had located his boots underneath the sofa he looked back at Keira. 'You're mean enough to work for Ferrari at least,' he shot back. 'So show me your Italian?' he added with a smirk.

'Ciao?' she tried and she made sure to make it sound as Italian as possible, not succeeding though.

'Wonderful, I didn't know you were so fluent in Italian,' he looked at her in amusement and started to take his shoes off. He then proceeded with taking off his shirt and folded it neatly like every true German would do.

She had not expected him to take off his shirt like that and her eyes were now fully focussed on his body. It remembered her of the last time they had been together in this room as that had been the first time she had seen him without a shirt. Although that time she had suppressed her feelings towards him and hadn't noticed how hot he actually looked standing there without his shirt. An explosion of butterflies in her stomach made her head spin and when he started to take off his trousers she thought she was going to faint. Somehow he had forgotten she was there or he didn't mind her seeing him like this, what made her even more flustered. He was now standing in his underwear, which was the last stage before being naked really. No, she should not think about him being naked, that was not going to end well at all. However she couldn't tear her eyes away from his body, mainly because his butt had grabbed her attention as it looked even rounder without any trousers on.

When he had put on his protective gear and race suit he looked back at Keira and a mischievous smile played on his lips whilst his eyes were twinkling. He didn't mention her openly staring at him and she went along with acting like nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Although the way he looked at her with that knowing smile was printed into her memory and it made her wanting to push him against the wall and kiss him until she was out of breath. Wrong train of thoughts, she needed to focus on the race, she was not going to let him get to her this time. She never had felt this way with David though, why had Seb such an influence on her?

'So, I'm ready to kick some Spanish butt,' he said when he sat down again.

'There are 22 other cars in the field, do not only focus on him,' she warned him, although she knew he was not going to change his mind in the slightest.

'Don't worry, I'm going to win anyway,' he grinned, but his face suddenly fell. 'I can't believe I've only won once this year and we're already two thirds into this season,' he sighed and he leaned back against the sofa.

His crestfallen face was painful to watch, but he of course was right. It did look a bit gloomy for his championship chances and she decided to just give him a hug. 'We're in Asia now and we all know that's your territory. Your season will start now, just keep your head down and focus,' she said when she pulled away again.

'You always know how to cheer me up,' he replied with a half smile and he pulled her a little closer. They were now only occupying a third of the sofa with the two of them and he had almost pulled her onto his lap.

Suddenly the door opened and Heikki stepped inside. 'Right, are you ready? You just have-,' he stopped talking when he spotted Seb and Keira sitting a little bit too close on the sofa than what friends normally did and he looked from one to the other. Their red faces told him all he needed to know and he awkwardly stayed put in the doorway. With narrowed eyes he stared at Seb and it was clear that he was unhappy with something as Seb dodged his eyes with a look of guilt on his face.

'Can I speak to you outside for a moment?' Heikki asked, now with an accusing tone in his voice.

Seb nodded and followed Heikki outside, he knew he was in big trouble and he really should have been more careful. It just became increasingly difficult to not overstep the line and he had to constantly remind himself that what he was doing was not fair. With a heavy heart he closed the door and looked up at Heikki, who was leaning against the wall in displeasure.

'What do you think you're doing?' the friendly Heikki had disappeared and he sounded almost like a father, although being of similar age. 'I know you like her, but mate this is just not on,' he continued.

'I know,' Seb sighed and he punched the wall in frustration. It didn't make him feel any better and now his hand was also hurting, fuck. He needed to get a grip on himself and sort this mess out, because he knew he could screw up things pretty badly.

'Be careful, I know you're a grown man, but you seem dangerously close to making a huge mistake. It's not my life, but I can tell you that you can't treat people like this. It's not fair on anyone, just grow up and figure out what you really want. Just don't pretend like this situation doesn't exist,' his words sounded harsh, but Heikki's eyes showed that he sympathised with the guy in front of him. 'Don't screw everything up because you're stressed.'

He felt anger starting to boil, but deep down he knew Heikki was right. 'I just don't know what to do,' he almost whispered.

'Then figure it out, you're a big boy Sebastian,' this time Heikki sounded impatient.

'Fernando is after her,' he didn't know why he said that, but it seemed important that Heikki knew. 'I can't let him take her from me.'

'For fuck's sake Seb, so it's only about Fernando? You are willing to risk everything you've build to get one over on Fernando?' Heikki had raised his voice. 'You're not that stupid Seb, at least I thought you were,' he shook his head in disbelief.

'No, of course not! I like her, I can't help it,' he said defensively. He was not going to let Heikki make him look like a bitter person who was looking for vengeance, because he was not. Or was he? Everything was so confusing and he didn't even know what he wanted himself.

'Then you know what to do, if that's true,' with these last words Heikki left Seb alone.

He really didn't need Heikki's lecture before he got into the car, because it had made him angry. He wanted to punch the wall again, but his fingers were still hurting from the last time. To his annoyance he knew Heikki was right, as he normally was and somehow that made him even more pissed off. Luckily it was almost time to get into the car, because nothing cleared his head more than driving around a track at 300 km/h.

Seb looked flustered when he came back and she could read on his face that it hadn't been a nice chat with Heikki. Not wanting to upset him more than he already was she decided on discussing a last few details on the car before they had to go. This seemed to calm him down a bit and they used the rest of the time to prepare for the race. It didn't take long before they were both ushered back to the front of the garage and it was time to get to work. She could just wish him luck before he stepped into the car and she also kept her promise to Tom and passed on his wishes.

\----------

The nerves kicked in immediately when both cars left the garage and she was not able to stay put on her chair. She forgot how hot she was and she was so anxious for the start that she almost didn't dare to look. Thank God it all went smoothly and Seb moved up to second place at once. The next few laps she focussed on her job and her nerves had disappeared, as she almost forgot it was Seb driving the car around. It was only on lap 23 when Hamilton suddenly retired with a gearbox failure that she remembered what exactly was going on. Seb was leading now and she prayed that nothing would go wrong until the end of the race. The safety car restarts were the most stressful parts of the race, but he handled it beautifully. In the end the race didn't get all the laps in as the two hour mark was reached, but they didn't care one bit.

They whole team made its way to the pit wall and celebrated when Seb crossed the finish line. Charlie had put Keira on his neck so that she was able to see the track and cheer Seb on. It was a magical moment and she couldn't remember ever experiencing such an explosion of emotions. There were hands and arms everywhere and she was slapped on the back repeatedly. It was only Seb's second win this season so the whole team was excited, it bode hope for the last part of the season. The whole team managed to make their way to the podium in the end and the guys pushed her and Macy to the front, because they wanted the girls to have the best view.

Macy only had eyes for Jenson and almost seemed to forgot that her team had won. Keira grinned and stopped smiling abruptly as she found herself looking at Fernando, she wasn't any better. Of course these three guys had to be on the podium together and she nudged Macy to make her aware of the many cameras.

'Why is Fernando looking and pointing at you?' Macy asked when she had torn her eyes away from Jenson. 'Oh and now he's winking at you, did you forgot to tell me something?'

'Maybe,' this turned Keira's face bright red and she wanted to disappear into the crowd, this was definitely not the right moment to discuss this with all the other guys around them. She didn't know why Fernando was doing this, but she could see Seb wasn't at all happy with him trying to get her attention. He looked annoyed and even from this distance she could see him roll his eyes, poor Seb.

'Really, of all the people you chose Fernando? I don't understand why people find him good looking, to me he just looks like a tramp,' Macy laughed and she put one arm around Keira's shoulder while waving at the guys on the podium. Jenson waved back and now it was Macy's turn to blush.

'He's a good kisser though,' Keira replied without thinking. Oh no, she had done it again, well done to her. She really needed to learn to think before speaking, because she was putting herself in all kind of awkward situations.

'You need to elaborate on that tonight,' Macy's eyes had lit up and she applauded loudly when Jenson received his trophy.

'If you do the same on Jenson, because Fernando is not the only one to stare at us,' she grinned.

At that moment the team erupted in cheers and yells as Seb held his trophy in the air before kissing it. He was beaming and he could have lit up the whole of Singapore with that smile. Everything around her seemed to disappear and she could only see Seb standing on that podium. Their eyes crossed and his blue eyes made her grab the fence, because she was sure her knees weren't able to keep her up. Her whole body reacted to him smiling and when he winked at her she could feel her heart responding by beating almost twice as fast as before. He blew a kiss in her direction before leaving the podium and she was sure that there wasn't a more perfect guy on this entire planet.


	43. Action

She was standing in her hotel room with Macy, who was already ready for the big party Red Bull had organised. The last party had shown her that they knew how to party and that was after a disappointing weekend, so she was looking forward how they would turn it up to eleven this time. However she first had to find an outfit that was good enough to go out in as she wanted to look good for Seb.

'This one would look good on you,' Macy had pulled a red dress from Keira's suitcase and held it in the air to look at it.

'No, I'm not wearing red tonight. Ferrari colours, you know?' she grabbed the dress from Macy's hand and put it on her bed.

'Oh yes, _Ferrari,_ ' with a focus on the word Ferrari Macy wiggled her eyebrows and she smirked. 'It's obvious you have a thing for Seb, but in the mean time you just kiss random Ferrari drivers?'

Keira picked up the black dress she had brought and thought that one would be more appropriate for tonight. 'I went out with him last race weekend and when we were alone he kissed me,' she grinned as she thought about that moment. 'I mean, I kissed him back, but I didn't start it,' she added to make sure Macy did understand.

'So you like both Seb and Alonso? I hadn't taken you for a polygamist, but whatever floats your boat,' Macy laughed and she nodded appreciatively when Keira showed her the black dress.

'Like is a big word, just little crushes, you know?' she said casually, not wanting to fill in Macy on how much exactly she liked Seb. 'Oh, I forgot, you don't know. As Jenson isn't just a crush, is he?' she shot Macy her best devilish smile.

'We were talking about you!' Macy exclaimed and she tried to hide she was blushing.

'Not anymore, spill it sister. What has happened between the two of you, because Jenson is in on it too,' Keira said while flicking her hair out of her face so she could see her better. 'I want to know the juicy details,' she grinned.

'If you really want to know, during one of Jenson's victory celebration parties last year we did eh, a few things,' Macy began with a face as red as a tomato. 'He had invited me, because we always kept contact although we both moved to a different team. I can remember there was a lot of alcohol and somehow we ended up back in Jenson's hotel room,' she concluded with her hands covering her face.

Keira smiled triumphantly, she knew there had to be more to the story. 'And then?' she asked eagerly, she wanted to know more.

'We had a good time, obviously, but somehow we never ended up in that situation again. I mean, I would like to, but he never gave me an indication that he wanted to repeat that night,' she sighed as she sat down on the bed.

'Well, from what I could see he definitely is interested in you. So I would just go for it and see where it ends up?' Keira said encouragingly as she put on her dress. She turned around so that Macy could help her zip it up and she looked in the mirror to see how she looked.

'You look stunning, I think half the team will want to dance with you,' Macy smiled. 'Other teams will be there as well, so prepare for an eager Spaniard. I've heard stories that he's really forward with his tactics,' she chuckled.

'I can confirm that,' Keira yelled from the bathroom where she had gone to fix her hair and put on some make-up. It was taking a lot less time these days as she didn't had to cover up her bruises anymore, as they were all gone. Only the ones on her chest were still somewhat visible, but her dress would cover that for her.

'So, do you want to repeat what happened or maybe even more?' it was clear that Macy didn't beat around the bush and she was beaming with excitement with the prospect of Keira and Fernando together.

'I don't know,' Keira answered, although she wasn't entirely honest. She probably wouldn't kick Fernando out of the bed if they ended up there, but she kept replacing Fernando with Seb inside her head.

'You look even better if that was possible at all,' Macy gasped when Keira walked back into the room. 'Come on, let's show you off to all the hot guys,' she grinned as she pulled Keira towards the door.

Keira could just grab her bag and her phone and followed Macy outside, she was definitely ready for a party.

\----------

He had just stepped out of the shower and was just about to put his shirt on when he heard a knock on the door. That must be Keira, he thought so he went to open the door shirtless.

'Hi,' Britta said whilst raising her eyebrows when she saw Seb was answering the door half naked. 'You also have problems getting dressed now? Should I hire someone to do it for you?' she smiled as she walked past him.

Of course it was Britta, like it almost always was, why had he expected it to be Keira? With a groan he closed the door and followed her inside. She was already standing there with his shirt in her hands and he put it on as Britta in the mean time pulled out her phone to answer some messages.

'I know you already had a lot of media duties today, but because you've won there will be more of those tomorrow. I only allowed the German and British press to get some of your time, so it'll not be too bad,' she said distractedly. 'I rebooked your flight already and Christian has told me he's going to call you tomorrow to discuss some other things. I just wanted to inform you so that you'll wake up early enough tomorrow, as I still remember that time were you were an hour late,' she sighed as she put her phone back into her pocket.

'Thanks Britta,' he replied, although he didn't look forward to the next day at all. He knew it was her job to do all of this, but sometimes he wished she could just disappear.

'Oh, and Heikki has told me to keep an eye on you,' she said when she walked to the door. 'I also know what's going on now and it doesn't look pretty Seb. You would make my life hell if this blows up somehow,' she added before she left.

Great, so Heikki had informed the person who knew where he was and what he was doing 24 hours a day, perfect. He gritted his teeth and took the opportunity of being alone to curse Heikki as loud as he could. It increased his mood slightly and when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror he agreed that he looked good enough to go out. He had put on the tightest clothes he could find in his suitcase as he had noticed Keira staring at him more frequently when he wore those. He knew that therefore he should have done the opposite, but he had done so anyway. With a tiny bit of guilt he closed the door behind him and he rested his head against it, to talk some sense into himself.

'What are you doing?' a voice said.

He turned around and spotted Kimi eyeing him suspiciously. 'Leaning against the door,' he answered.

'I saw that,' Kim answered and he put on his sunglasses.

'Then why did you ask?' Seb answered as they walked into the direction of the lifts.

Kimi shrugged his shoulders. 'I don't know.'

'Where is Minttu?' Seb asked as he couldn't see Kimi's girlfriend anywhere. He had invited them both to the party, so he couldn't understand why she wasn't here.

'Still getting ready. Girls,' Kimi answered while rolling his eyes. 'It took too long, so I told her I was going already,' he said if that was very logical.

'That's not very nice Kimi,' Seb grinned, although it was a typical Kimi thing to do. He liked his no bullshit approach and often tried to do that himself, but Britta wouldn't let him.

'Not my fault that she isn't ready. Don't understand why they do have to paint their whole face, it already looks good without it,' Kimi said in a serious voice.

They stepped into the lift and Seb pressed the button to ground floor. 'You told her where the party is, right?' he investigated as he knew passing on information wasn't Kimi's strongest point.

'I knew I forgot something. I'll text her, don't worry,' Kimi almost smiled as he pulled out his phone to text his girlfriend.

The lift stopped on the next floor and when the doors opened it was fucking Fernando who was walking in. He was still pissed at Fernando for his behaviour on the podium and he looked at the ceiling when he walked in. He knew Fernando was playing games and he wasn't going to participate, he wasn't going to give him that joy.

'Hi,' Fernando said and he leaned against the wall. 'Good race, wasn't it?' he tried to make small talk.

Of course Kimi wasn't the most talkative, so automatically Fernando was looking at him, great. 'Yes, congratulations on _third_ ,' he couldn't help himself but grin because he had won and Fernando hadn't. He could see the smile almost disappearing of Fernando's face, but he had realised his mistake very quickly and was now looking foxy again.

'So, the top three in the standing are all in this lift. I hope we'll not die in this, although I would still have beaten you both if that happens,' Fernando grinned as he looked at Seb's annoyed face.

'Well, it shouldn't make much difference. If we die in her or not, you still will not be the world champion this year,' Seb shot back and they both seemed to have forgotten Kimi was still there.

'Let me text Keira to see if she wants to hang out before she leaves,' a sly smile played on Fernando's lips and he awaited Seb's reaction to this.

See, he was playing games and he was not going to fall for this trap. He knew Fernando was cunning, but he was not going to let him drag Keira into their rivalry. He would never use another person to destabilise his competition, but he knew Fernando would go to any length. That was clear from his participation in Spygate and Crashgate, he would never even consider cheating or blackmail to win. So instead he just smiled at Fernando and started a conversation with Kimi, which was oblivious to what had just happened.

\----------

The club was already packed by the time Macy and herself arrived. They had been waiting for Chris, Charlie and Sean in the lobby, but somehow the guys had ended up being later than them girls. They had teased the boys all the way to the club and they still wouldn't say why they were so late.

'I think they couldn't decide on what to wear, especially Chris because of Laura,' Macy suggested as the guys were getting drinks for all of them.

'Or maybe they lost their hotel key?' Keira replied while scanning the space for a glimpse of Seb.

'Or they had to buy some condoms for Chris,' it was hard for Macy to keep a straight face and when the guys returned with the drinks they couldn't understand why the girls were giggling so much.

'We ordered the strongest drinks they had, because we could,' Charlie said cheekily as he handed everyone their shots.

'Typical guy thing to do,' Keira rolled her eyes and accepted the drink. She never really liked alcohol except from beer and wine, but she was ready to get drunk. She had missed letting herself go and escape from the control she normally wanted to keep on her life.

'Cheers!' Sean yelled and they all downed their drinks, which resulted in a lot of gagging.

'This shit is horrible,' Charlie spluttered and he quickly downed a second one, because of logic.

Macy turned towards Keira. 'I think we're going to be drunk very soon, so be prepared to do something you'll regret tomorrow,' she grinned and she slapped her friend on the back.

'Well, I guess we have to deal with that tomorrow. Tonight we're going to have fun, because we have won,' Keira yelled in Macy's ear and she could already feel the alcohol kicking in. Damn, these shots were strong.

'Look, Seb and Kimi are here,' Macy nudged Keira and they both were looking at the bar were Kimi was ordering drinks. 'Of course the Iceman goes straight for the alcohol,' she grinned. 'Don't know where Minttu is though, she said she would also come.'

'Is she nice?' Keira asked as she was curious how someone could be together with Kimi and not get crazy.

'Yes, she is one of the sweetest persons I know. She is also the only one I know besides Seb who can melt the Iceman. They are really cute together, you almost wouldn't recognise him when he's with her,' Macy smiled as she kept one eye on Kimi.

'I have to see that,' Keira grinned and she couldn't imagine Kimi smiling and holding hands with someone.

'We have new drinks,' Charlie interrupted their chat and handed them new shots. They looked as horrible as the first but they happily drank all of them. 'Now come join us on the dance floor please, because it's no fun with only guys,' he pleaded as he pulled on their arms.

'Alright,' Keira chuckled and they followed the group to the dance floor.

Everybody was still on a high from the win earlier that day and they enjoyed themselves massively. The alcohol helped them getting out of their comfort zones and it made for a great evening. Keira danced with almost everyone as they all wanted a turn, which boosted her confidence somewhat. Although Seb tried to keep her for himself, she made sure to switch partners often enough as she didn't want anyone getting suspicious. Chris had finally made his move on Laura and they were dancing close by, she gave him a thumbs up whenever Laura wasn't looking. He rolled his eyes each time he noticed, which made her laugh. Macy was drawing the attention of almost everyone in the club as she was now practicing her sluttiest moves. Keira had tried to stop her from doing these, but she had insisted that she wanted to continue. So instead she filmed it to show it to her tomorrow, she was such a good friend.

Keira noticed a specific person staring at Macy and she suddenly felt adventurous, she was going to help her friend she thought while giggling. The alcohol had made that decision for her and she thought it was the best idea she had ever had. So she sneakily escaped from the group and walked up to Jenson who was leaning against the bar.

'Hi, I'm Keira. I'm from the Red Bull team,' she introduced herself to Jenson. Normally she wouldn't have dared to say something to someone this famous, but it was for a good cause she told herself.

'Jenson,' he said in surprise and he held out his hand.

'I have seen you staring at Macy,' she smiled and she pointed at her friend as if he didn't know who she was.

This caught Jenson's attention and he straightened his back. 'I wasn't staring at her specifically,' he defended himself. 'She just happened to stand where I was looking, you know?'

'Don't lie,' she laughed when she spotted his face. 'Don't worry, I came here to tell you that she told me that she still really likes you. She always has,' she added just to make sure he got all the information. Macy was probably going to kill her if she found out tomorrow, but she would worry about that later.

'You're Seb's new performance engineer, aren't you?' Jenson asked desperately trying to switch to another topic.

'Yes?' she answered being surprised, she had not expected him to know this.

'You fit Seb's description,' he explained when he looked her up and down. 'He's very positive about you, did you know? So maybe that's why he started winning again,' he grinned. 'You can switch to my team if you want?'

She smiled as she didn't really know how to respond, had Seb really been that positive about her? 'What are you willing to pay me?' she joked.

'I think Seb will crash me out every race if I snatch you away,' he laughed and his eyes were back on Macy who was now dancing with Charlie.

'I will do what?' a drunk Seb suddenly appeared out of nowhere and he put an arm around Keira to steady himself, all whilst looking accusingly at Jenson.


	44. Confusion

A drunk Seb meant a very clingy Seb and Keira wasn't able to get rid of him. Jenson looked at her with raised eyebrows and then studied Seb's face, to see what was going on as Seb was almost choking her at the moment. With all her strength she was able to free herself and pushed Seb in Jenson's direction.

'You are very drunk Sebastian,' Jenson remarked when he sat Seb down on one of the seats at the bar. 'Why do you always drink so much when you win?' he asked.

'You do the same, don't be hypocritical,' Seb answered while wagging his finger in Jenson's face. He giggled when he almost poked his finger in Jenson's eye.

'You have a point, but _I_ never embarrass myself,' Jenson grinned as he rolled his eyes at Keira.

It was clear that Jenson knew things about Seb she didn't know yet and she made a mental note to ask Jenson about it when Seb wasn't present. She was now very curious and she needed some good blackmail material for whenever she was in the position to wind Seb up.

'Shut up,' Seb answered while biting his lip and he turned red when Jenson started laughing.

'Good luck with him Keira, I'm going to make myself useful,' Jenson put down his empty glass and winked before he made his way to the large Red Bull group. He tapped Macy on her shoulder and took over from Charlie who was highly amused by the whole situation. Macy's face was bright red and her eyes were wide, but you could see that she was also very pleased.

'About time,' Seb muttered when he looked at the pair dancing. 'Macy always becomes useless whenever Jenson is around,' he grinned and he gestured Keira to sit down next to him.

'She will be glad to hear that,' she replied. 'I hope Jenson is as serious about this as she is, otherwise I have really screwed up,' she sighed when she sat down. Seb was really close again and she felt her heartbeat increasing as a result of that. How she wished that it was Seb and her dancing like that, instead of Jenson and Macy. The way they looked at each other and the way Macy's head rested on Jenson's chest made her somewhat jealous, damn it. She looked sideways at Seb and her stomach lurched when he did the same, his eyes were suddenly full of sparks and his mouth curved into a sly smile.

'Do you want to dance?' he whispered in her ear when he leant in a little bit closer. He cocked his head to one side and played with a strand of Keira's hair that had escaped from behind her ear.

'Yes,' she gasped when he let his fingers wander to her neck. She wished they could stay like this, but she knew everyone around them would notice. So she quickly swatted away his hand and smiled when he looked confused. Instead of explaining she pulled him onto his feet and led him back to the rest of the team.

She made sure not to get too close with Sebastian, although being a bit too drunk made that extra hard. Especially when Seb kept trying to put his hands on her butt, but luckily the others were too drunk to take in everything that was happening. Chris had suddenly disappeared with Laura and Minttu and Kimi now also had joined the group. Seb had introduced her to Minttu and Macy had been right, she was really nice and also really pretty.

'What got into Jenson?' Minttu asked when Seb and Kimi were discussing something about the race. She had pushed herself between Keira and Seb and sipped from the drink Kimi had bought her.

'Oh, I just told him the truth, apparently that was all he needed,' she grinned and they both turned their heads to look at Jenson and Macy.

'Look, they are kissing!' Minttu shrieked and she waved her hands in excitement. She almost poured her drink on Keira, but she just in time realised what was happening and drank the rest before it ended up somewhere else.

'I don't understand why nothing was happening when they both really like each other,' Keira said as she tried to find a reason why. 'I mean, look how happy they look together!'

'She told me she has always been afraid that she was just one of many girls and that she never was someone special,' Minttu explained and her eyes were still full of joy when she looked at her friend. 'I don't know what was up with Jenson, but maybe he thought the same, who knows?' she shrugged.

'So how long have you been together with Kimi?' Keira asked when she spotted Kimi staring at the both of them. She could see what Macy had meant, because Kimi was smiling when he caught Minttu's eyes. So he was able to smile this broadly, it instantly made him even more likable and he also looked really cute when smiling.

'Almost two years now. We've met in Finland when he took a break from Formula 1 and when he had just divorced Jenni,' she smiled while looking affectionately at her boyfriend. 'People don't believe me when I tell them he's actually rather sweet, but the Kimi I know is a very different one from the Kimi the media knows,' she explained.

'You're a very lucky girl,' Keira smiled. Kimi had always been very handsome and was by far the most popular driver on the grid, so to snatch him away from everyone else was a real achievement. 'I have always been a fan of him, although I have to admit that Seb has now taken the number one spot,' she grinned apologetically.

'Kimi is slowly turning Seb into himself, so in a few years I think they'll be the same,' Minttu laughed and she put her hand on Kimi's back.

'Are you trash talking us again?' Seb asked the two girls as they were both giggling and muttering something under their breaths.

'We wouldn't dare, you have three  world championships between the both of you, so we know our place,' Keira smirked and she threw her hair over her shoulder.

'Somehow I don't believe you,' Seb now looked suspiciously at Keira. 'You two look way too happy. You were talking girl talk, weren't you?' he said like he knew what he was talking about.

'You sound stupid,' Keira laughed and Minttu said something in Finnish, what Seb seemed to understand because he glared angrily at her. 'Come on, let's dance again,' she grabbed Seb's hand and waved at Minttu and Kimi.

Seb had put his arms around her and it reminded her of the last party they had danced together. She gave in to his warm hands on her body and whenever their faces came close she held her breath, resulting in her getting dizzy several times. She had almost forgotten about the rest of the team and time seemed to stand still tonight as she was sure they had been dancing for hours, maybe even days.

'I'm getting us something to drink,' Seb said when they were both hot and sticky. 'I'll be back before you know it,' he winked before he disappeared to the bar.

Keira suddenly felt rather lost without Seb and looked around to find Macy, but she was nowhere to be seen. Minttu was currently slow dancing with Kimi and so she decided to join the other guys. However before she had reached the group she was tapped on her shoulder. It was too early for Seb to have gotten their drinks, so she turned around in surprise.

'May I have this dance?' a voice asked confidently. 'I mean, you still owe me after turning me down last time,' Fernando winked cheekily as he held out his hand.

Why was he always appearing out of nowhere whenever she was with Seb? Keira looked over her shoulder and Seb was still waiting to order, because it was rather busy at the bar. It looked like it was going to take a while, so she accepted Fernando's offer.

'You look great tonight,' he said when he let his eyes wander across her body.

'You too,' she quickly replied and she realised how stupid that sounded. 'Because you're not in Ferrari gear,' she added to sound more intelligent. He had pulled her really close and him being a Spaniard meant that dancing came naturally to him. She led him take the lead and tried to ignore his attempts to put his hands on her body, because she wasn't comfortable with him doing that like she was with Seb. Maybe Fernando was a better dancer, but dancing with Seb was definitely more enjoyable.

'Do you want to go outside for a bit?' with his face close to Keira's Fernando ran his fingers along her cheek.

A shiver shot up her spine and she took a step back to increase the space between them. 'No, I'm here with the team,' she said hesitantly, although he probably knew of course.

'That's right,' Seb had appeared with two drinks and glared scornfully at Fernando. 'So thanks for keeping her company, but I will take it from here,' he smirked when he saw Fernando's smile weaken. He handed Keira her drink and put his arm around her shoulders, to show Fernando he had no chance tonight.

'I'll see you around then,' Fernando winked at Keira. 'Just call me when you get bored with him, I know exactly how to make a girl happy,' he said with a knowing smile and he kissed Keira on her cheek before he left.

Seb was scowling and he made a rude gesture in Fernando's direction what made her laugh. 'Don't let him wind you up, that's exactly what he wants,' she tried to cool him down.

'I don't like Fernando,' was all Seb could say and he showed his displeasure by emptying his glass in one go. 'I don't understand why you like him,' he added with a frown.

'It's a girl's thing, I think,' she smirked and she shrugged her shoulders when Seb rolled his eyes in exasperation. 'Don't worry, you're still better looking than him,' she winked and she also finished her drink.

'Am I?' he tried to act like it wasn't a big deal or anything, but his satisfied smile gave away that it was. 'Good,' he added with a grin.

Now they both had their hands free again they continued dancing, almost bumping into other people as they were kind of out of control. Seb's drinks had been very strong and they ended up being even drunker than they already were, which resulted in fits of laughter and having to make lots of excuses to other people for their behaviour.

'Let's go outside, I need to cool off,' Keira gasped when she had difficulties catching her breath.

'Best plan of the entire evening,' Seb answered and they carved a path through the large mass to find an exit.

'Ah, fresh air,' Keira sniffed the late night air and it reminded her of all the hours she had spent at the lake. 'I miss Switzerland,' she said when they wandered to the back of the balcony which provided the best view. It had already gone past midnight a few hours ago, but the lights of the city were still illuminating the pitch black sky.

'Me too,' Seb answered as he leant on the railing. 'I like being anonymous and that's something that I miss on race weekends,' he admitted. He ran his fingers through his sweaty hair and his eyes were staring into the distance.

'We're alone here and I will not ask you for an autograph,' she grinned and she checked their surroundings. Only on the other end of the balcony she could spot other people, but on their side they were the only ones. The sudden silence was strange, but it sobered them both up pretty well.

Seb glanced up and his bright blue eyes were focused on Keira. 'I'm so glad I've got you as my friend,' he said slowly and he took a step closer to her. 'You let me be myself and make me laugh,' he continued whilst chuckling, 'although you can be very annoying sometimes.'

'Thanks, I guess?' she spluttered as Seb was now really close to her. His eyelashes fluttered and she could now smell mint and petrol, combined with sweat. She leant against the railing to steady herself and forgot to breath when he put his hand on her back.

'You also are able to calm me down when I'm angry or cheer me up when I'm sad,' he now whispered as he brushed his lips against Keira's ear. He pushed a lock of hair back in its place and then moved his hand to cup her face. With an affectionate gaze he stepped even closer what meant he was now pinning her between himself and the railing.

Her heart was pounding so hard that it almost became painful and Keira had a hard time controlling her breathing. It felt like she was on fire because even the night breeze was not able to cool her down. With Seb's body pressed against hers she could only focus on how good that felt and how she had longed for this to happen for such a long time.

'You also are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen,' Seb was now running his fingers along Keira's arm all the way up to her neck, which resulted in goosebumps all over her body. Their eyes were now locked and his breathing became unstable when he saw the eagerness written on her face. He smiled while putting his hand in her long brown hair and he bit his lip when a whimper escaped from Keira's lips. 'You look gorgeous tonight,' he whispered with bated breath and their faces were now only inches away from each other.

Then their lips brushed against each other and Keira wasn't able to breathe anymore, the touch of Seb's lips was the most magical feeling she had ever experienced. She closed her eyes and all the anticipation that had built up over time was now taking over her body. She felt his soft lips brush against hers for a second time and this time he didn't pull away. She raised her arms and wrapped one of them around his neck and with the other she tugged on his messy hair. He leant in even closer and she felt him breathing raggedly before he very gently put his lips on hers.

It took a few seconds for her to progress what was happening, but then she responded by tenderly kissing him back. Seb answered by intensifying the kiss and he moaned when she still somewhat reservedly pushed her tongue against his lips. He eagerly pressed his body against hers as he opened his mouth to give her what she wanted and he answered her initiative by gently biting on her bottom lip. She could feel her body respond in all different kind of ways and she whimpered when Seb moved his hand to the back of her neck, making her almost lose control. His tongue was exploring her mouth and she hadn't expected his lips to be this soft or him to taste this good. She impatiently tugged on his hair and she let her other hand slide down to his butt, what resulted in another sound of pleasure from Seb.

As the kiss became more passionate by the second it was clear that both of them had wanted this to happen for a long time and Keira had to make sure not to lose her head completely. She had never been kissed like this and she couldn't remember ever feeling a connection as strong as this with anybody. She had expected Seb to be a good kisser, but this was a whole different level and she forgot where they were and every doubt that had kept her from doing exactly this. Seb's hand was pulling on her hair and it intensified their kiss even more, which resulted in them both moaning and trying to get closer to each other.

It almost seemed like their lives depended on this kiss and they both weren't showing signs of letting go any time soon. They stumbled away from the railing without breaking the kiss and Seb pushed Keira unceremoniously against the wall, immediately pressing his body against hers and placing his hands next to her head. She responded by putting her hands underneath his shirt and it took all her strength to not just rip it off his body and give herself the pleasure of him being half naked. He gasped when he felt her hands on his skin and he bit her bottom lip again in reply, making her dig her nails in his chest. The hunger in Seb's eyes aroused her even more and the explosion of emotions that caused made her feel light in the head.

The touches felt like fireworks and when they broke apart for some much needed air she looked up to his eyes. The warmth they displayed, the dark desire in combination with the fondness was something unique. They didn't need to say anything, they just gazed into each other's eyes while their bodies stayed connected. Keira bit her lip when Seb swept her hair over her shoulders and started to draw little circles on the now exposed skin of her neck. She could see the goosebumps forming on her arms and she couldn't help but smile. His lips still looked as soft as ever, although them now being red and swollen made her attraction towards him even greater. His eyelashes fluttered and she held her breath when his mouth curved into a satisfied but mischievous smile again, the innocence he once portrayed had disappeared completely. He leant in a bit closer and slowly let his fingers slide from her neck to her chest, while replacing them with the lightest of kisses pressed onto the delicate skin. She gasped, as it felt like little pulses of electricity shot through her body each time his lips connected with her skin. His fingertips were exploring what was hiding beneath the fabric of her dress and the tenderness with which he was doing that was something she had never experienced before, like she was something very delicate.

When Seb stopped to see what the effect of his actions were on her, Keira couldn't miss the adventurous glitter now visible in those mystic blue eyes. Her legs almost gave in and she needed all her energy to not just lose herself completely. However she somehow still had some energy left as she found herself begging him to continue. Without saying anything she felt his lips brush the curve of her neck again and with every kiss he moved up a few centimetres, until he had reached her lips again. The short time in which their lips hadn't been connected had made her long for them more than she thought she would. So when she felt his soft lips brush against hers again she didn't waste another second and pulled Seb closer while connecting their lips. The kiss was gentle and slow, while soft sounds of pleasure filled the night's air and it was only them two who mattered. Nothing had ever felt this good, no one had ever made her feel so complete and wanted, or loved. Yes, that was the right word, first the first time in her life she felt really loved.

It was only when a large group made their way outside very loudly that Seb pulled away and panic spread across his face. Keira was still getting to grips with what just happened and she quickly tried to fix her hair when a couple of girls sat down very close to them. She focussed her attention back on Seb, who was looking so damn hot with his red cheeks, messy hair and swollen lips. If there weren't people watching right now she would've kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it finally happened, they kissed!  
> After 44 chapters I found it the right time for this to happen, I mean, who didn't?  
> I hope you liked it and I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!  
> And, where will this bring them both next? ;)


	45. Doubt

She couldn't get the image out of her head, the image of Seb pushing her against the wall and kissing her while his hands were all over her. Whenever she thought about that her body reminded her of how she had felt in that moment. If she closed her eyes she could still feel his soft lips on hers and her fingers in his hair, but when she opened them again she was all alone. After they had kissed Seb had dragged her inside again and they had acted like nothing had happened out on the balcony. However that kiss had confirmed how she really felt about Seb and although it made her really nervous she had to admit that she perhaps had started to fall in love with him. All she wanted to do was find Seb and kiss him again, show him how much she liked him and giving in to her recent desire.

She sighed as she closed her suitcase, it was time to go home after this incredible weekend. It had surprised her how soon she had felt comfortable in the team and how everyone had wanted to help her. It hadn't felt like her first weekend at all and she couldn't wait to be back at the track, as she liked that this job was challenging her. Also the fact that she had been able to spend so much time with Seb, as there was only one hotel floor or a garage between them, made her reluctant to go home. She had given up her job at the cafe so she wasn't going to see Seb every day anymore, when she thought about that an unpleasant feeling in her stomach started to set in. She wanted to spend every moment of the day in Seb's present, but she knew that wasn't possible. Especially when they had kissed only once, that was hardly an indication to think more of this than it actually was.

She made her way down to the lobby and jumped into the taxi that was waiting for her. She was travelling alone today as Seb was on a different flight. He still had some commitments to take care of and that also meant that she hadn't seen him since last night. That made her feel somewhat uneasy, because she didn't know where they were standing right now. When she thought about their kiss it was clear that Seb had wanted that as much as she had wanted, but the look of panic on his face afterwards was still nagging her. Had she really been that bad or had he just regretted it? Perhaps he had been that way because of the people that could have seen them, or she wasn't the right girl he had wanted to do that with. These doubts were driving her crazy and she wished she could just talk to Seb, just to know what she was dealing with and therefore be able to get rid of that feeling of concern.

She was rather sleepy during the ride to the airport as they had only returned to their hotel very late last night. Therefore she wasn't really succeeding at controlling her thoughts and it didn't take long before she was daydreaming about Seb again. Only this time it involved a lot of kissing and because she now knew how good a kisser he was it was even better to dream about. With a smile on her face she leaned against the window, hoping that the driver wouldn't notice her cheeks had turned a slight pink. All she wanted to do right now was kiss Seb again and she cursed herself for not doing that last night. She had been afraid to be rejected by him when he could think clearly again, because he obviously couldn't have been thinking straight when they had kissed.

\----------

Britta was pacing up and down the room and they were waiting for the next interview to start. It was a very dull conference room and it showed him how much he preferred the Red Bull motor home. He normally wouldn't even been here on Monday with the press, but the weird time zones and schedules meant that a lot of them had planned their press moments this morning for some reason. He spotted Britta writing some things down on the sheet she was carrying and she checked her watch almost every minute. He tapped his fingers on the table and was rather impatient, he hated it when people were late. There were a million other things he would like to do right now and none of them involved answering boring questions as he knew he would get in a moment. No, there were better things to do, like flying home with Keira instead of sitting in this room.

Damn it, he had promised himself not to think about her again as he had made a huge mistake last night. Everyone close by had warned him and they all had been right, he hadn't been able to control himself. Normally he was quite good in keeping his head, as that was a necessary skill for being competitive in Formula 1. However Keira had screwed that all up, he had never felt this strong about a girl, not even Hanna. It made him feel like an idiot, because he had planned this all differently. Not that he had planned anything at all, because he still wasn't sure what he wanted. The only thing he knew was that he had a lot of explaining to do in the near future and he wasn't looking forward to it. Especially when deep down he knew that if he could redo last night, he would have probably done the same.

'What's wrong with you?' Britta asked while trying to keep her voice down, because there were a lot of journalists around.

'Nothing,' he answered with a blank face. He hadn't even noticed that people were staring at him.

'Please get it together for the interviews, or I'll get a lot of difficult questions,' it was clear that Britta was annoyed with him. 'Also don't swear this time, especially when talking to the British press,' she added warningly, but a small smile was visible on her lips.

'Understood,' he grinned and he sat up in his chair. Britta nodded appreciatively and he put on his brightest smile, ready for answering some questions.

After this he could finally go home and he was really looking forward to that. These race weekends were always crazy busy and he liked the peace and quiet of Switzerland. He was also looking forward to seeing Keira again, as he hadn't even been able to say goodbye today. Although he knew that probably wouldn't be very wise to see her again so soon, but he couldn't alter how he was feeling about her. The only thing that filled his mind was their kiss last night, which had turned from gentle to passionate very rapidly. It had been something he had wanted to do for a very long time and therefore he hadn't been able to contain himself. It had been better than he had imagined as she had been very keen herself to kiss him back, something he hadn't expected from her. She normally was very reserved and apprehensive, but last night had shown him another side of her. It had strengthened his feelings towards her even more as he had been massively turned on by her showing some initiative, it still did when he thought about it again. Damn it, this wasn't the right place for that.

'Focus!' Britta hissed in his ear and he almost yelled in surprise. Apparently he had ignored one of the questions and they were all looking at him with raised eyebrows.

'Sorry?' he asked sounding bewildered and he tried not to notice Britta's narrowed eyes. She gave him a small nudge to let him know who had asked him the question.

'Do you think you can still win the championship now you've won again?' asked the journalist while pushing his glasses back on his nose.

Not again, this was really becoming annoying. He plastered a smile on his face and took a deep breath. 'Yes, of course. It's no point coming here if I don't think I can win, I'm not here to make up the numbers. I'm now second in the standing again, so I'll just do my best to win all the remaining races like always and then we'll see,' he answered.

They all nodded appreciatively and some of them scribbled some things down. 'I've heard you've got a new performance engineer, does that have any influence at all? I mean hiring new personnel at the end of the season will bring at lot of changes,' the reporter from Autosport asked.

'I don't think it's that big of a deal when you have a good functioning work relationship and you can trust each other from the beginning. Look at the results from this weekend, I've won, so I think that answers your question?' he smiled contently, because all of what he had said he believed in.

\----------

The first few days when she had been back home she had used to regain some energy, as the weekend had drained her completely. She had gone for long walks and had spent many hours in front of the TV, which had resulted in her being completely up to date with all the Swiss TV shows. The best part of it all was that she hadn't been alone most of the time as Seb had shown up at her door already the first day they had been home. It had been a bit awkward at first, but they had quickly gotten back to their routine, albeit them being more intimate with each other than before. Luckily for her Seb hadn't seemed to mind and she had used every opportunity to be close to him, she had really fallen for him.

She smiled and looked in her mirrors, the streets were as empty as always and she pulled into the drive way. She parked the car neatly in its spot and she quickly got out her stuff. Walking towards the door she appreciated the clean mountain air and she took an extra deep breath before entering the house. The last few days she had been at the factory to discuss the results of the race, so she hadn't got much fresh air. They also had already been focussing on the race next weekend in Japan, because a race weekend took a lot of preparation. She was really excited for Japan as everyone had described the atmosphere there as 'bonkers' and she remembered the Japanese fans from when she had watched Formula 1 in the past.

The only thing that had puzzled her during her stay in England was Seb. He had also been there, although only very shortly and he had acted differently from when they had just gotten back from Singapore. He had been more distant, also annoyed very quickly and he had given her the impression that he was worried about something. She had gotten a lot of mixed signals from him and that meant that they had ended up almost kissing again, but also him letting go of hugs very quickly. It was messing with her head and she wanted to know what was going on. She sighed, this was exactly why she had promised herself no more guys after David for a while, because this was making her doubt herself all over again.

The house was in a desperate need of a clean and she gladly used that opportunity to clear her head. She put on some music and danced through the house, cleaning everything in the process. It didn't take that long to get the job done and she made sure that everything was spic-and-span when she had finished. She checked her watch and it showed her that it was already time for dinner, she had forgotten the time completely. When she opened the fridge to look for some food she realised that there was nothing significant in there to make herself some dinner. If she was quick she could still run to the supermarket before it closed, but she had to hurry if she wanted to be there on time.

Although they were approaching autumn, it was still very warm for this time of year and going out in just a shirt was more than enough. She felt the sun on her face and that made her smile, she hadn't seen much sun in Singapore. She liked sun, but she was looking forward to the autumn, as that was her favourite season of the year. The way the trees changed from green to all different kind of colours was something magical and the sound of rustling leaves when you stepped on them was always comforting. However it didn't look like autumn was coming soon, so she just had to wait for a bit. With a smile on her face she spread her arms and twirled around, something she always did when she was a child as it made her feel as free as a bird.

With a bag full of groceries she was on her way home. She had chosen an alternate route as she felt like doing something different today. That's also why she had bought a lot of things she had never eaten before and she was looking forward to making pasta with squid tonight. For tomorrow she had bought swordfish and she had to admit that she had only bought that because of the name. While grinning she switched the heavy bag to her other hand, because her fingers had gone numb. She didn't know what had came over her, but she felt different today. She was happier and looking forward to things, not shying away from a challenge. So maybe she was able to go back to the Keira she had been before David after all.

Why on earth had she bought so much food, she thought, because her arms were now hurting from carrying the bag. To give her arms a rest she put the bag down and wiggled her fingers to get the blood flow started again. When she looked around to orientate herself she smiled, she was standing next to the little restaurant Seb had taken her to eat raclette. It had been the first time  they had gone out for dinner together and she had really enjoyed herself that evening. She peered through the window and saw that it was as packed as when she had been there and that was always a good sign. People were talking happily amongst each other and the smell of cheese made her hungry.

Suddenly it felt like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. No, this couldn't be. This wasn't true, this couldn't be true, she was deceiving herself. She tried to steady herself as her knees were giving in, but she couldn't find something to hold on to. Her eyes were still fixed on what she was seeing inside and her stomach sank to the floor. She was getting dizzy and it felt like her heart had been ripped out. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she still couldn't look away, although to keep looking was taking all her energy. This was just a cruel joke, because how could this be real?


	46. Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, time for another update! I have to say though that this will probably be my last update in a while, or my updates will become less regular. I'm leaving for Ireland tomorrow, because I'm going to travel the island on my own for two months. I'm excited, but scared as hell and I don't know if I have time to write while I'm there.
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter though, you'll finally find out what's going on! I'm so sorry for doing this though, it was very hard to write for me as well, don't hate me please. Just remember: when you're down, there's nowhere else to go but up.

Her whole body felt numb, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from Seb and the blonde girl. Her heart was aching and it felt like her throat was closed off, so hard was it to breath. Seb was smiling while talking and the blonde girl laughed in response. She recognised the blonde girl, because she had often came into the cafe. Not for drinking coffee, but she always bought a cake to take home. Was she one of many girls, someone else to throw away when he seemed fit, or was she more than that? She didn't know, but it looked like they knew each other pretty well, so the girl could even be his girlfriend for all she knew. It stung to think about it, because then she probably bought those cakes to celebrate something with Seb. She felt sick when the image of Seb and that girl sitting together on a large sofa clouded her mind, his hands were touching her and he smiled that same smile which made her go weak at the knees.

She stood there for several minutes without moving, fully focussed on what was happening inside. She let out a silent yell when Seb grabbed the girl's hands and bend over the table to be closer to her. His fond expression on his face made her nauseous, as that was the same expression he sometimes showed when he looked at her. He looked and acted exactly the same as she remembered him and that made her feel even worse, it confirmed that he used this tactics on everyone else. She was stupid to have fallen for it and how could she have thought that he perhaps liked her? Of course he didn't like her, she was just convenient, that was all. Her head was now spinning and everything was blurry, she thought he was different from all the other racing drivers, but clearly he was just the same.

While staring at the window, she couldn't stop thinking about their kiss. She hated herself for kissing him because this was the result, feeling like she had been run over by a truck. If they hadn't kissed she could have dismissed it as a fuck up of her judgement, because she then could have made herself believe that it had all been in her head. However she now knew that it wasn't and she could still feel his body against hers, his lips pressed against her own, which hurt massively. The tears were now coming thick and fast and she had clinched her fists, but she still wasn't able to look away. They looked so happy together, Seb was smiling the whole time and she couldn't help but feel her stomach lurch whenever he smiled. His smile was still perfect and still able to make her lose her head, damn it.

She had thought that it couldn't get much worse, but when she saw the girl bending over the table to get closer to Seb she felt like her world came crashing down. Seb replied by also leaning in closer and before she could avert her eyes they kissed. No, this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. She needed to get away, she didn't want to see this, because her heart had just shattered into a thousand pieces. The image of Seb kissing another girl was now burnt into her memory and she knew this was coming back to haunt her. The tears were still streaming down her face and she couldn't forget how Seb had looked at the girl, like he really  loved her. How could she have been this mistaken about Seb, how could she not have noticed anything. A voice in her head told her it was because she was stupid and ignorant, how else could she have ended up with David?

Suddenly with new found determination she picked up her bags and turned her back on the restaurant. It wasn't going to get better if she kept staring at them and she was really hungry by now. She had to take care of herself, otherwise she would feel like shit this coming race weekend. Damn, racing, she had forgotten about that. She couldn't get rid of Seb, because they worked together, closely. Why on earth had she agreed to this job in the first place? The only thing she could do now was act like a grownup and just do the best job she could, most of the time he would be in the car anyway. Yes, this was all going to work out just fine, right?

She was able to keep her composure until she reached home, she felt tears leaking from her eyes when she opened the door and by the time she reached the kitchen she had completely broken down. She still couldn't believe what she had seen and every time she thought about Seb he was kissing that girl again. Not only did she feel bad for herself, but the same for the girl, because she was practically in the same boat. She wasn't angry with the girl, maybe she would be if she was in on it, but she probably wasn't. Damn it, it had all been too good to be true, she should have seen this coming really. She had thought Seb was perfect, as he was the complete opposite of David, but now it seemed he was more like him that she had thought.

Still sobbing she flopped down on the sofa, her hunger had completely disappeared as a sinking feeling had taken over her stomach. The only thing she could think of to do right now was calling Abby. She would understand and even if she didn't, it would be nice to hear someone else's voice as she had no one here in Switzerland. Yes, of course she had Seb, but she didn't want any more to do with him except from work related stuff. Maybe it was time to start looking at houses in England again, especially when she had to be in the factory so often. She had stayed here in Switzerland because of Seb, but there was no more reason to stay now.

'Hey Keir, what's up?' Abby sounded cheerful when she answered Keira's call.

Hearing the voice of her best friend made her burst out in tears again, it confirmed how much she missed having a friend around to hug her and tell her everything was going to be alright.

'Keir, what's going on?' Abby said being alarmed by Keira's outburst. 'Tell me what's wrong.'

She couldn't bring herself to tell Abby, she was still not able to stop crying and it felt like her throat had been closed off.

'Keir, please, tell me. Has David done something? Should I call the police?' Abby sounded more alarmed by the second.

'No, it's not David,' Keira was able to explain, albeit it interrupted by several sobs.

'Then what is it, are you fired or something?'

That could be the next step, Keira thought. 'No, not yet at least,' she said very timidly.

'Has it something to do with Seb?' Abby asked, running out of options of what it could be.

Hearing Abby say his name resulted in another round of tears and she was now physically hurting. It hurt so much, she had thought she could trust him and he had promised her that he would never hide something again. Of course she shouldn't have believed that, because if he was able to do it the first time, why wouldn't he do it another time?

'Alright, what has Seb done to you? Has he hurt you?' Abby had interpreted the tears correctly. 'Damn it, I really liked Seb, I thought he was never going to make you feel this way,' she added with a sigh.

'He has, he has-,' Keira began, but it took too much effort to continue.

'You can tell me, you can trust me,' Abby said in a soft voice, 'you know that right?'

'He has someone else,' Keira was just able to get that over her lips and when she had done that she went back to crying. She didn't know how much tears she was able to produce, but they were still coming.

'Oh Keir,' Abby said sympathetically and she sighed. 'I thought he really liked you.'

'He doesn't,' Keira said and she threw one of the cushions through the room as a sign of frustration.

'It was so obvious that you liked each other, I don't understand. I never believed you when you said you were just friends, although you didn't want to admit that. I'm glad to at least know that you're being honest with yourself,' Abby said softly.

'Was it really that obvious?' Keira asked tentatively. Why had everybody known before her?

'As obvious as it could be, Keir. Is it only now he has someone else that you realised you like him?' Abby asked carefully.

Now she had to think about what she had seen again and she started to feel nauseous, it hurt so much. 'No, I knew before that, I've known for some time now.'

'Did he tell you or how did you found out?' Abby sounded interested, but she made sure not to make Keira feel any worse.

'I only came back from England today and went shopping for food. On my way back I walked past a restaurant Seb and I have eaten once and when I looked inside I saw him sitting there, with this girl. They looked so happy and they held hands, they even kissed. They funny part is that I know that girl, because she sometimes came into the cafe,' she started crying halfway through and her voice trembled that she found it a miracle that Abby was able to understand her.

'Is she his girlfriend?' Abby asked cautiously.

'I don't know, I didn't even know they knew each other. They never came in together and Seb never mentioned a girlfriend. You think he would have done if he had one, right? Because we've known each other for some time now and he even knows my secrets,' disbelief was audible in Keira's voice and she banged her hand on the small table next to the sofa. Shit, that hurt.

'He knows about David?' Abby sounded surprised.

'Not that it was David, just what happened to me and he was so sweet that night. He is the only one I really felt safe with and thought I could trust. Boy, I was wrong,' she sobbed.

'But what do you mean you can't trust him? I mean, it isn't his fault that he likes someone, right? And if he didn't know you liked him too...,' Abby's voice trailed off, not wanting Keira to think she was overreacting.

'We kissed,' was all Keira could say and she closed her eyes.

'You did what?!' Abby almost yelled.

'At the party last race, so not even that long ago,' Keira sounded dejected and didn't even notice new tears were welling up in her eyes.

'That's fucked up,' Abby sounded stunned. 'I didn't know you guys were there already, fuck that's not good at all.'

'I know and I mean it wasn't just a quick drunk kiss or anything, or I thought it was at least,' Keira sighed and she sucked her lip between her teeth until it started to bleed.

'Oh man, that's even worse,' Abby said. 'How was it though?' she asked curiously after a few seconds of silence.

'I've never been kissed like that before, it made me forget about the world and I didn't want it to end, ever,' Keira sighed. It was hard to have to admit it to herself, but to someone else was even worse.

It stayed silent for a while before Abby answered. 'Keir,' she began. 'I don't want to sound insensitive or anything, but is it possible that you're in love with him?' she asked hesitantly.

Now it was Keira's turn to stay silent. Her heart had jumped and ached at the same time when Abby had said that. 'I think I might be,' she answered after a long moment of silence.

On the other side of the phone Abby groaned. 'That's what I was worried about. I prayed for this to happen since I saw you two together, but now Seb turns out to be an asshole I don't want that anymore. Sadly it's too late now, damn it, why does he have to be so cute?' Abby sounded frustrated and it seemed like she was blaming herself. 'I shouldn't have pushed you together all the time, this is my fault.'

'Of course not, I think I have been in love with him even before that, although I have never wanted to admit that to myself. I think I might have been since the beginning, although because of all that was happening with David I have never realised that,' Keira said and this time she didn't have to cry. She still felt sick, but at least she was honest. Honest with Abby, but also honest with herself. 'I think I have loved him ever since the moment I looked into his eyes for the first time,' she added quietly.

'And you're really sure it was Seb in that restaurant?' Abby tried.

'Sadly, yes,' Keira's voiced trailed off somewhat. 'I would recognise his eyes everywhere and when he smiles my heart melts, so it definitely was him.'

'Damn it,' Abby cursed. 'It's so unfair that this needed to happen to you, you deserve better.'

'Maybe I'm just overreacting. We aren't together or anything, so why shouldn't he kiss all the girls he wants?' Keira asked while she tugged on her hair. She wanted to pull it out in frustration, but decided better of it because being bald wouldn't make anything better.

'Don't you start with that. If he's a decent guy he wouldn't do that and from what I've seen he's given you very clear signals that he liked you,' Abby sounded angry.

'But what's the difference between that and me and Fernando? I went out with him and kissed him, twice,' Keira said trying to get her head around all of it.

'He knew you were going out with Alonso and you kissed him before you kissed Seb, that's very different. You also turned Alonso down when he asked you out again and Seb knew that. Besides, he could have said before or after you two kissed that it didn't mean anything to him and that you could expect him to kiss other girls. You're not a toy Keira,' Abby didn't sound angry anymore, but now sadness was audible in her voice.

'Still, we aren't together or anything. I have to admit that we have been intimate before and that we almost kissed several times. Also the kiss at the party wasn't a spur of the moment, it was bound to happen sometime,' Keira said aggrievedly.

'Then it's even worse. He has led you on and got what he wanted and now clearly has moved on,' Abby almost yelled again. 'You know what, I'm going to book a flight to Switzerland right now. You need a friend there, because it's no good if you're all alone there,' Abby said excitedly.

'But you have work,' Keira said sounding confused.

'Screw work, I'll call in sick tomorrow. I'll only stay one day and then go back, no one will know,' Abby laughed.

Keira also smiled, it was the first smile since she had seen Seb in the restaurant. 'You're crazy,' she replied and shook her head. She loved Abby for this, more than she could tell her.

'That's what friends are for, I know you would have done the same for me,' Abby said softly.

'You're the best friend ever,' Keira smiled again. She was lucky to have such a good friend.


	47. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ireland is wonderful, but it was raining yesterday, so I found some time to write! :)

She had her head on Abby's shoulder and stared at the TV, but she couldn't really keep up with what was going on. Her head was still thinking about other stuff and everything else just seemed so far away. Luckily Abby was here, because she had at least someone to talk to. Abby had showed up in the afternoon and had agreed to continue with what she was already doing. Watching stupid romantic movies and eating too much Toblerone and crisps, while washing it down with several beers and red wine. Yes, that sounded like a really healthy eating plan, but she couldn't care less at the moment.

'Asshole,' Keira yelled at the screen when the main character got unceremoniously dumped.

'You talking about Seb?' Abby grinned and tried to make light of the situation.

'Not at the moment, but he's an asshole too though,' Keira said while frowning.

'You can call him anything you want right now, get it out before you have to go back to work. Things can get nasty if you start calling him an asshole in the garage, you know,' Abby shot Keira a half smile and grabbed the bag of crisps out of Keira's hands.

'Give that back,' Keira yelled and she tried to grab the bag, but Abby was holding it high in the air so she couldn't reach it. 'You're an asshole too,' she muttered under her breath.

'Thanks, I'll remember that before I fly out next time you need me,' Abby tried to sound angry, but a smile was playing on her lips. 'Here you go,' she added and she handed the bag to Keira again.

'Thanks,' Keira smiled and she moved a little to sit more comfortably. 'He's just like Seb, I told you he had someone else. That was clear from the beginning,' Keira triumphantly pointed at the TV.

'OK fine, you've won. What did we bet on again?' Abby threw her head back and stretched her legs.

'Who was making us food tonight,' Keira chuckled. 'I'll allow you to order some food though, because you're such a good friend.'

'Pizza it is then,' Abby clapped her hands in excitement.

Keira laughed, she shouldn't have expected anything else. Not that she minded, she liked pizza, very much. The only thing was that it reminded her of Seb, they used to order pizza whenever Seb felt like cheating on his diet. She suddenly felt the sickness in her stomach again, it had gone for a while when Abby had tried to cheer her up, but it was starting to come back. She suddenly wasn't interested in the film anymore and the knot in her stomach tightened painfully whenever she thought of Seb.

'What's wrong?' Abby asked, as she had noticed the change on Keira's face.

'Nothing,' Keira answered while dodging Abby's eyes.

'Oh come on, I'm not stupid. You're thinking about Seb again, I can tell,' Abby said confidently and it looked like she had wanted to roll her eyes.

'It's just that I still don't understand. He doesn't look like someone who picks up random girls and then goes on to the next one. I've spent so many hours with him and it just doesn't fit,' Keira sighed and she put another handful of crisp in her mouth.

'Have you checked the internet yet?' Abby asked while opening another tablet of Toblerone.

'No, I was scared of what I was going to find. Maybe he is a massive playboy, I don't know. I don't even know if I want to know,' Keira said and she shrugged her shoulders.

Abby had an amused look on her face when she looked at her friend. 'Come on, I'll look and then decide if it's safe for you to know or not. Alright?'

Keira nodded, although she felt a bit uneasy. She looked how Abby pulled out her phone and typed something to find some information on the subject. She focussed her eyes on Abby's face, because she wanted to see her expression. Abby was always an open book with her emotions, so she would know when it was bad. She felt the familiar jolt in the pit of her stomach when she saw Abby's eyes widen, this wasn't good.

'OK, spill it. I don't care if it's bad,' Keira said with a blank face. Now she was this close to the information, she needed to know.

'I don't think you want to,' Abby said hesitantly and she quickly put her phone against her chest.

Keira sat up and grabbed the phone from Abby's hands. Her heart was pounding when she focussed her eyes on the screen. She felt her stomach drop when she realised what she was seeing. There she was, the girl from the restaurant, walking next to Seb. The photo was taken in a paddock and she felt a nagging feeling before she started to read the text. She almost forgot to breath when she had read the first line. Her name was Hanna and she was his girlfriend. She needed a few moments to let that sink in, Seb had a girlfriend. Her hands started to shake and she almost couldn't read the screen, but she wanted to read more.

When she had finished reading the text the tears were streaming down her cheeks again and it felt like she had been punched in the chest. She knew how that felt, so she wasn't exaggerating at all, it was painful to breath. Hanna was not only his girlfriend, they had been together since high school. How long ago must that have been, about eight or ten years? He had been together with this girl for as good as ten years and he hadn't bothered to tell her about Hanna. So he had not only hidden his career from her, but now also his personal life. Was there anymore left to hide?

She also started to feel nauseous again when she thought about Hanna. She had wondered if Seb had other girls, but she had been the other girl the whole time. She couldn't imagine how Hanna must be feeling when she found out. Would she find out though, or maybe she did know about it already. However the way they had acted during dinner showed her that she didn't know and that made her feel even worse. She now felt responsible for ruining such a perfect relationship, Seb probably must be her whole life. It also made a lot of sense now why they were always staying at her house and never at Seb's, because they probably lived together. Her stomach lurched when she imagined Seb going home after spending time with her and stepping into his bed to sleep next to Hanna.

'It's even worse than I imagined,' Keira whispered as she handed Abby her phone back. 'They look so happy together.'

'He never told you about her?' Abby asked while trying to sense Keira's feelings.

'Nope, never. From what I read she doesn't go to race weekends very often, almost never really. No one from the team told me either, but I think it's just not the first subject you discuss with people. Also no one knew about us really, so they didn't think it was necessary. Or maybe they thought I already knew, who knows,' Keira had clinched her fists to divert her anger, but she wasn't making much progress. She was angry at Seb, but also angry at herself for not noticing anything. Maybe if she had asked Macy, she would've told her, but then again she never thought he had a girlfriend.

'This really is fucked up, especially because he's really into you. Don't say he isn't, because I have seen you two interact for a whole weekend and I know what I'm talking about. Also the way he acted when he found out about Alonso told me enough about his feelings. Poor girl though, I bet she doesn't know anything,' Abby shook her head in disbelief.

'I feel dirty know. If I had known I would never have kissed him or acted the way we did,' Keira said and she felt guilt starting to rise. If she had googled him more thoroughly she would have known sooner, but she always thought that he had told her anything. How wrong she had been. She felt so betrayed, especially after sharing a lot of personal things with Seb, for fuck's sake they kissed. He kissed her while being in a long-term relationship, that was wrong on so many levels. It also didn't fit with the guy she had became to know, that Seb would never do something like this.

'This isn't your fault, you didn't know. If you had known you wouldn't have done this, so don't blame yourself,' Abby put her arm around Keira's shoulders and pulled her very close. 'You'll find another guy, don't worry,' she shushed Keira who had started to cry again.

'I don't want to go to the next race,' Keira said with a muffled voice as she had her face in Abby's shirt.

'Don't be stupid, you don't want to lose your job over him. Just act professional around him, be the adult he isn't and do the best job you can do. They way you talked about the last race could only be done by somehow who really loves what he's doing, don't throw that away for a stupid racing driver,' Abby was stroking Keira's hair, but sounded very determined.

'You're right, I'll have to pull myself together and do what's good for myself. I have done things to please others long enough, now it's time to live my life how I want it to,' Keira said with a watery smile on her face.

'That's my girl, you're so much more worth than you think you are. Anyone would be lucky to have you,' Abby was now also smiling and pulled Keira into another hug.

\----------

Abby had left early the next day and Keira had spent the entire day in her pyjamas continuing what she had been doing the day before. Seb had contacted her many times and clearly didn't understand what was wrong. She only had replied that she was busy and that she didn't have time to see him. She hadn't want to ignore him like last time, because she still had to work with him. As long as they kept their distance, she didn't mind communicating, as long as it was about work. Clearly that was not what he had wanted, so she had kept her replies short and hadn't picked up any his calls.

She had felt rather lonely without Abby or Seb to spend time with and she was glad that she was flying to Japan today. There she would be in the company of the whole team and she had really started to like them, especially Macy and they were going along really well. She was looking forward to spend time with them all and let them distract her from this dismal situation. She looked around the room to check if she had packed everything and closed her suitcase when that was the case.

It didn't take long to get to the airport and she had some time left before her flight took off. She always wanted to be early, because you never knew what you would encounter on the way to the airport. Also missing a plane was a bit more serious than missing a bus, so she just liked to be on the safe side. When she had gone through security she decided to spend the spare time on drinking coffee, what else. She sat down at a little cafe and ordered a coffee, although not too large, because she hated peeing on the plane. If she could minimise the visits to the toilet then that would be nice.

'Hey, can I sit here?'

She almost spilled the coffee on her shirt and with a startled look tried to find the source of the voice. She didn't really need to look, because she would recognise that voice anywhere.

Seb didn't await her answer and sat down, looking a bit uneasy. 'How's it going? Also dreading the long flight?'

Oh damn, she had forgotten how cute he was. Especially when he looked all nervous like he did  now. She could feel her stomach react and she couldn't look away from those perfect blue eyes. 'I'm fine, thank you,' she replied when she had found her voice again.

He was taken aback by her distant behaviour and sadness was visible in his eyes. 'What have you been up to? We haven't spoken much,' he tried again and he ran his fingers through his hair. This was something he always did when he was nervous.

She smiled politely as she couldn't handle his face looking this sad, it felt like kicking a puppy. 'I have been hanging out with Abby,' she replied and she sipped her coffee to have something to do.

'I've missed you,' he said hesitantly, but a small smile was visible on his lips. One of his leg was jiggling and he looked away when Keira didn't reply.

How was she supposed to reply to this? She thought she could just forget about how she felt and that she would go on with life. Clearly that wasn't as easy as it had seemed as her heart was pounding and she felt her eyes trailing back to his lips every few seconds. He was also looking very handsome today in his washed jeans and striped shirt. His stubble was exactly how she liked it most, not too long and not too short. She shivered when she remembered how it had felt on her skin and she felt her cheeks getting hot.

'Tell me what's wrong,' he said with a soft, but uncertain voice. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt and looked at Keira with a worried look on his face.

'There's nothing wrong,' she replied trying not to catch his eyes.

'You know you can always talk to me if there's something wrong, right?' he said while shifting in his chair.

Damn it, why did he have to be this thoughtful. He made it really hard for her to stop liking him. 'I'll keep that in mind,' she said while focussing on her coffee.

'I meant it when I said I've missed you,' he had moved his chair a little bit closer to Keira and made an attempt to grab one of her hands.

'Oh,' was the only thing that came up. She quickly put her hands around her coffee again and tried not to notice the disappointment on Seb's face. She hated to be this insensitive, but she couldn't get the image of Hanna out of her head.

'You're looking forward to the race?' he asked. He had changed the topic when Keira hadn't really replied.

'Yes,' she smiled. She had allowed herself to talk about work and this was work. 'I think we've got a good chance. I've heard this is your favourite circuit, is that right?'

He was confused by her change of mood, but the corners of his mouth had lifted slightly. 'That's true, it's one of those classic circuits,' he said. 'Maybe it sounds weird, but I had a dream that I would win this weekend,' he grinned when he remembered that dream.

She chuckled, that was typical Seb. 'Who else were on the podium in your dream?' she asked curiously.

'For some reason Kobayashi, maybe because of the fact he is Japanese, because it's not like he has been on the podium before. The other was Hamilton after he forced Alonso into an error at the last corner and he crashed,' he was counting on his fingers when he tried to remember his dream. His eyes had twinkled when he remembered Alonso not finishing the race.

'Sounds perfect,' Keira laughed, he clearly had a large imagination. 'I'll eat my hat if that turns out to be true this Sunday,' she smirked.

'I need to see that,' Seb grinned and his eyes had lit up when Keira had laughed. 'I don't think it'll taste very well, but maybe if you put some ketchup on it it'll be alright,' he chuckled.

It would be perfect If he could stop smiling like that, because her body was responding to it in all different kind of ways. 'You always know how to make things better, don't you?' she shook her head, but she couldn't hide the fact that she was amused.

At that moment their flight was announced and they both checked their watches. It was time to go to the gate or the plane would leave without them and that would not be very useful. She would also be able to get away from Seb and that would be a big relief. She was totally confused by how she felt and she expected herself to be angrier, but it was so hard to be angry with him when he looked like that. Maybe when she was alone she would be able to judge the situation a bit better.

'Britta has booked us seats next to each other, I hope you don't mind,' Seb held out his ticket and tilted his head while biting his lip.

Oh perfect, that would be twelve hours of having to sit next to him.


	48. Truth

She had survived the flight, although it had gotten awkward when she had found herself sleeping on Seb's shoulder. He hadn't mind, but skin to skin contact was now a forbidden area for her. She had spent the rest of the flight resting her head against the window and making sure she wasn't going to fall asleep again. That was the reason why she was so tired right now, Seb had slept most of the time, so he was his happy and cheerful self.

'Do you want to go for a coffee? You look very tired,' Seb asked when he had picked up his luggage.

'No thanks, I'm fine,' she hastily replied as she didn't want to spend another minute in his presence. Her eyes were already drawn to his body to admire how good he looked after spending twelve hours on a plane and that was only getting worse if she had to sit opposite to him.

Disappointment had returned to his face and a frown was visible between his brows. 'Why not? You live for coffee. I know you, remember?' he said as he tried to read the expression on Keira's face.

'I don't feel very well, I just want to go to my room and lay down for a moment,' she said while dodging his eyes. She quickened her pace to the exit and regretted the amount of stuff she had put in her suitcase. She now had a team suitcase and there had been a lot of spare room she had found a pity to leave empty.

Disappointment had now turned into concern. 'I can go with you and we can watch a film if you want?' his voice was soft like it often was and he put his hand on Keira's arm.

His warm fingers on her skin shot a shiver up her spine, but it also stirred up the anger that had been simmering since last week. 'No, I would like to be on my own please,' she said harsher than she had intended to. He looked hurt and that made her feel even worse, she didn't want him to feel as bad as she was feeling. Especially because he could illuminate the world with his smile and although she didn't want to admit it to herself, she still found herself staring at him when he was smiling.

'Let's go then. Just call me when you need me, OK?' he still looked hurt, but his comforting eyes were now looking into Keira's.

Now it was really time to get going, or she would end up doing things she was going to regret later on. She followed Seb outside and made sure to sit as far away from him as she could in the taxi. She spent the ride to the hotel on her phone doing nothing really, but she pretended to be busy so she didn't need to talk to Seb. He looked rather lost and that crushed her from the inside, but she reminded herself of Hanna and how she would feel if she did what she wanted to do.

'I'll see you later then?' Seb asked hopefully when they both had checked in and were both on their way to their rooms. He was on a floor above Keira's and he held the lift door when they had reached Keira's floor.

'Yes, Rocky called me before I left home that there are a few things he wanted to discuss after talking to Gavin. I think he wants to speak to you too, so I'll see you then,' she smiled. She turned around to look for which way she had to go, because this hotel was huge.

'Yes, he told me. I have a few sponsor events tomorrow, so I'll see you somewhere in the afternoon. I hope you'll feel better by then,' he smiled. The corners of his mouth had turned up, but his smile didn't reach his eyes and his shoulders had drooped after Keira had given him another cold shoulder.

'Have fun then, don't make a fool of yourself. Leave that to Mark,' she grinned. Seb had shown her a hilarious video of Mark doing a milk commercial where he had to sing a couple of weeks back, it had been hilarious. Mark was a really bad singer and therefore it had been a very popular subject to tease him with.

'I'll remember that,' he chuckled. 'I'm a better singer than him though, so it wouldn't be as embarrassing.'

'Better to not sing at all if you want to keep your dignity,' she shook her head when she spotted his face. He was so competitive in everything that she wouldn't be surprised if he ended up also doing a commercial where he had to sing. While she thought about that she just caught him winking at her before the doors closed again. She was glad that he couldn't see her face, because her cheeks had just turned pink.

\----------

On Thursday the workload had gone up and she was bent down over a lot of sheets while her computer screen showed a lot of complicated data. She tried to concentrate, but people were very loudly discussing the hot topic of this weekend. Namely that Lewis Hamilton was leaving McLaren to go to Mercedes and that Michael Schumacher would probably retire for the second time. There was a press conference scheduled for Mercedes later this afternoon, so everything would be clear by then. It would be sad to see Schumacher go as he had be one of her heroes when she grew up, not as much as the Spice Girls of course, but it was going to be an end to an important era of her life.

When it became too loud to do any work at all, she decided on going to the front of the garage to see how the cars were coming along. She liked being around the cars and asking the mechanics questions, because she was really interested in all of it. She had built up a good relation with all of them, but especially with Macy, Chris and Charlie. When she spotted them working on the car when she walked in she sank down on her knees to be more on eye level with them.

'How's it going?' she asked when she spotted blonde hair underneath Seb's car.

'Working hard, but so far no major problems,' Macy answered while she removed herself from under the car. 'Why aren't you working?'

'Can't concentrate and besides, there's not much to do yet. You haven't found any problems concerning me yet, so I'm grateful for that. I have to discuss fuel consumption later on, but I have to wait for Rocky and Gavin to come back,' she smiled as she pulled Macy on her feet. She was a bit shorter than she was, but she made up for her height with her personality.

'So, do you think Schumacher will retire again?' Macy asked while she cleaned her hand with a cloth.

'Not you also, haven't we discussed this long enough?' Keira sighed and she threw a cloth towards Charlie who had joined them.

'I think he will, he's really old now and he's not the Michael he was during his Ferrari years,' Charlie said with an air of someone who knew what was going on.

'That's true,' Keira admitted while she thought of his recent performances, they hadn't been great.

'Besides, Seb says he's going to retire and they are close friends, so I think he will,' Charlie continued. He stared at the car and observed what the others were doing.

'Would be sad to see him go,' Macy sounded a bit dejected and she knelt down to tie up her shoelace.

'We still have Baby Schumi though,' Charlie grinned.

'Whose Baby Schumi?' Keira asked, because she had never heard of that name before.

'Seb of course, who else?' Charlie rolled his eyes, as if it was clear as day who he had meant.

'Of course,' Keira grinned and her stomach fluttered in reply. Damn it, why did it have to do that every time she thought about Seb or when he was mentioned.

'I'm having dinner with Minttu and Kimi later tonight, do you want to come?' Macy asked when Charlie had gone back to the car to finish what he had been doing.

'Sounds fun, but wouldn't they mind?' Keira said hesitantly, she didn't want to force herself on people. However she was dying to spend some time with Kimi, he was such a fascinating personality.

'Of course not, Minttu told me she really liked you. So it'll be fine, don't worry. I'll come by your room later, so we can go together, alright?' Macy asked and she pushed her long blonde hair out of her face.

'OK, but not too early. I still have a meeting with Rocky and Seb later on and I don't know how long that's going to take,' Keira warned Macy. She folded a few of the papers she had brought with her for some reason and put them in one of her back pockets.

'You're just making up an excuse to be a bit longer in Seb's presence, right?' Macy winked and she checked if the others couldn't hear her.

'No, I couldn't care less. I just want to do my job as well as is expected from me, that Seb is involved in that I can't help,' Keira said while trying not to sound angry.

Macy had raised her eyebrows and folded her arms. 'What's up with you and Seb?' she asked.

'Nothing, why would something be wrong?' Keira replied and she was aware of the fact that she was wringing her hands nervously. She quickly put them in her pockets and plastered a smile on her face.

'You're friends, right? Because it's sounds like you don't like him and I can't understand why,' Macy answered suspiciously and she had narrowed her eyes.

'Just busy, he's also busy, that's all,' Keira said smiling, although she didn't know if her cover up was really working. When she saw Macy's face, she knew she had failed.

'Tell me later, because I know you're lying,' Macy smirked and she picked up one of her tools to go back to work. 'I have to finish this now, but I won't forget,' she added with a knowing look.

Keira sighed and grimaced when Macy walked away. Nice, now she also had to keep up with Macy's difficult questions. This was something between Seb and her and she didn't want to put Seb into a bad light, so she had promised herself not to tell anyone else. No one had noticed at the party, so it was easier to keep up this cover, no one would ever know.

\----------

The restaurant was busy, but they had found a table at the back, where they wouldn't be as visible as the other tables. Minttu had put Kimi in the corner, so not many people would able to recognise him. That made for a whole easier dinner, as Keira knew how it could be as she had experience with Seb. No, she was not going to think about him tonight, she was here to have fun, not to mourn.

'Having a good feeling about this weekend?' Macy asked Kimi when they had ordered their food.

'Yes,' he answered using his characteristic monosyllabic vocabulary.

Keira grinned, he was exactly like she had imagined him and that was funnier than it should have been. She always had been sure that it was just an act, but it really wasn't.

'Oh come on, you can do better than that,' Macy mocked him as she clearly had some experience with this.

'Just give the alcohol some time to do its work, he'll be fine in a few minutes,' Minttu remarked and her eyes twinkled, while Kimi was looking at her.

'You like your new team, Lotus I mean?' Keira asked, Kimi had done rather well this year and he looked really happy in the team.

'It's okay, there's less pressure than in Ferrari, but in the end they are all people. As long as they give me a good car, I'm fine. It's the same for everybody, really,' he answered and he finally took off his sunglasses. It showed his ice blue eyes and Minttu looked at him with great affection.

'Everybody is really impressed with you, at least in Red Bull. I mean, it can't be easy to come back after being away for a few years,' Keira answered smiling, she was actually having a conversation with Kimi.

'I just do my best. It's different than it was in 2009, of course, but more or less the same people are still driving and it's still Formula 1, so it's OK,' he said as he shrugged his shoulders. He took a sip of his Vodka and put his glass down again, he was the only one not drinking wine.

'Do you think you can win a race?' Keira asked interestedly. He had been close several times from what she had heard, so it wasn't a weird question.

'Of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I don't know why we haven't yet, but the car is capable of it,' Kimi said and he looked up at the waiter who had came to the table with several plates of food.

The conversation died down when they all had received their food and they all tugged in immediately, as they were all hungry after a long day of work. Minttu didn't really have a job, but keeping up with Kimi could classify as a job on its own.

'Why did Seb not come along?' Minttu asked Keira and she looked at Kimi as if he knew the answer to that question.

'Should I have asked him?' Keira said awkwardly, Macy hadn't said anything on that subject.

'Of course not, but I thought you liked to hang out together?' a puzzled look was now visible on Minttu's face and her cutlery was hovering in the air.

Macy picked up her wine to take a sip and deliberately looked down at the table, clearly not wanting to join in on the conversation. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew there was something.

'We do, but he has a life on his own. He can cope without Hanna during race weekends, so he clearly knows how to entertain himself,' Keira smiled and she hoped it didn't sound bitter. She wanted it to sound casually and it looked like she had achieved that.

'He misses her during race weekends, but she just likes to stay at home. She doesn't like these masses of people,' Minttu explained and her lips curved into a smile.

'She's really sweet though,' Macy added and Minttu nodded in agreement.

A sinking feeling in her stomach made it unable for Keira to keep eating, to hear them talk about Hanna in this way made her feel horrible. She had taken advantage of her Seb and she hated herself for it, why couldn't Hanna just be some wicked witch?

'They are the perfect couple,' Minttu said, 'besides from Kimi and I of course.' She grinned while affectionately cupping Kimi's face, what resulted in a rare smile on his face.

Keira felt tears starting to well up and if she heard another nice thing about Seb and Hanna she was sure she was going to cry. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and made it just in time to bawl her eyes out. This was effecting her way more than it should and it was eating her up from the inside. Why did she have to came across Seb, it could have been anyone and it had to be him. The most perfect guy on earth who was already in a long-term relationship, the worst combination possible.

It took a few minutes to get herself together again and with a smile she sat back down at the table, looking like nothing bothered her at all. Macy eyed her every now and then, but she chose to ignore it. Tomorrow was early enough to start worrying again, now she just wanted to enjoy herself. The only thing she had figured out tonight was that it was impossible to stay friends with Seb. This had been the final straw and something inside her had broken for good. From now on she would only speak to him in the garage when it was really necessary, the rest of the time he could go to hell.


	49. Avoidence

It was Friday and in between the two practice sessions of the day. He had been seventeenth during first practice and everybody was really concerned if there was something wrong with the car. He could see Keira sitting in the garage discussing something frantically with Rocky and a few of his mechanics were also contributing to the conversation. Sebastian couldn't stop staring at her as she looked as beautiful as ever even while looking flustered. He didn't want to admit that she had been the reason for his crappy position this morning. He was sure that next practice he would be on the pace again, but he couldn't stop thinking about Keira this morning and what had changed between them. She had been so distant ever since he had met her at the airport and this morning she had even bluntly ignored him. He had gone over many things of why this could have been in his head, although it maybe hadn't been that wise to do that while driving.

'Seb, are you even listening?' Britta sounded annoyed and she followed Seb's eyes to find out what was distracting him.

'Yes, I was,' Seb replied and he tore his eyes away from the group of people and smiled innocently at Britta. She had been informing him on his duties after practice and halfway through it had stopped sounding interesting as he had found better things to focus his attention on.

'Repeat what I was telling you then?' she clacked her tongue and was now sounding rather impatient.

'Eh, I have to do some interviews?' he tried, he couldn't come up with a better excuse and he knew it was a rather weak one.

'Glad we both agree on that you weren't listening,' she rolled her eyes and shot him a disapproving glare. 'I know who you were staring at and can I please advise you to be careful again. I don't want any pictures going around from you two together when everybody expects it to be Hanna,' she said warningly.

He was caught again, shit. Britta and Heikki knew everything as they were always around, at moments like this that was really annoying. He was relieved that what had happened between Keira and him somehow had gone unnoticed and he was grateful for that. He knew he had massively fucked up and he knew there was a lot needed to fix it again. Things hadn't been going smoothly between him and Hanna for a long time, but no one knew about that. They had both agreed to keep their life as private as possible, so relationship problems were not really something you wanted to discuss with anybody. Not even his friends knew about it, because he had been too afraid it would somehow be leaked to the media. He had tried working on their relationship for the last couple of months, but they hadn't made any real progress sadly.

He had known Hanna forever and it was so normal to have her around that it had gone unnoticed that they had somehow grown apart. Hanna had her life back home and wasn't really interested in his racing and he was always somewhere around the world or in the factory in Milton Keynes. Although things weren't perfect, he had never intended to cheat on her and he felt disgusting for having done exactly that. He had tried for so long to not let it get that far, but this new fire Keira had ignited in him had clouded his judgement several times. The alcohol and having her on her own had proved too much and he would never forgive himself for that. Women deserved to be treated with respect and he always saw himself as someone who did that, but this hadn't been respectful at all. Not towards Hanna, but also towards Keira, because she didn't even know about Hanna.

He had never been able to bring up Hanna as Keira had been so angry with him when he had kept his true identity from her. He knew he should have told her at that same moment, but he somehow couldn't bring himself to do it. She was having such a horrid time after the break up, that he didn't want to make her feel bad by telling her about his own relationship. He had thought it would upset her, to be confronted by something she had just lost. It was also because he enjoyed spending time with her so much and the fact that she needed someone there to look after her because she obviously had been hurt had made him foolishly decide against it. Things had progressed from then on like he could have never imagined would happen and he had then been afraid that he had misled her and that when he told her now that she would be even angrier. He knew he had to tell her, but he dreaded it as much as he had done when he told Hanna what he had done. He knew that doing that could mean losing her, but it was something that needed to be done. He only had himself to blame for that if it turned out that way, he knew that, but being in this tight title fight hadn't exactly helped him with making the right decisions.

'You're not listening again. Sebastian Vettel, what is wrong with you? You were seventeenth this morning for God's sake,' Britta said, this time she almost sounded angry. She had put her folder down with such a force that several sheets were now scattered around the garage floor.

'Nothing, just tired,' he said while playing with the zipper of his race suit.

'If you keep this up I'll have to talk to Christian. Maybe he can get some sense into you, because you have clearly lost your mind,' she said and she closed her eyes while her lips were pursed together, probably to keep herself from saying worse things.

'I'm sorry, next practice will be better. I promise,' he batted his lashes and hoped his puppy eyes would stop Britta being angry at him. She was right, he needed to get it together. He was a racing driver, so he needed to act like one.

'If it's not I'm going to talk to Christian, just so you know. I'll be back after practice to update you on your schedule, because it's like talking to a wall right now,' she sounded tired and she rubbed her eyes before picking up the sheets from the ground.

'You're the best, you know that right?' he grinned and he was glad to see a tiny smile on the face of his press officer. He didn't know how he would survive without her, she was the only one who could keep him on track.

'Just go prepare now, you clearly need it,' she yelled from over her shoulder when she walked away.

He smiled and zipped up his race suit, it was almost time to get into the car. His eyes quickly had wandered to Keira again and a twitch in his stomach told him he wanted to pull her away from that group and bring her back to his private room. He knew that was the worst plan he had came up with today and pressed his hands against his forehead in frustration. He was so confused by her behaviour and he didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted to take a chance on Keira, because he had the feeling that he could be so much happier with her. Only the way she was acting right now made this whole situation so much more complicated, as well as the fact that the image of Hanna kept coming back. He didn't know if Keira was interested in him, he had thought she was after the kiss, but she had been almost hostile towards him today. He watched her flick her hair over her shoulders and he bit his lip, his heart telling him in response what he already knew.

\---------

The whole team was relieved when they finished FP2 with both cars in the top three. Mark had ended the session on top, but he wasn't too concerned to be third. It was definitely an improvement from being seventeenth and at least Fernando had been slower than him. He was therefore rather positive when he left the garage to go do the mandatory interviews. They weren't exactly mandatory, but he knew Christian wouldn't be too pleased if he decided to skip them. So he put on the cap Britta handed to him and made his way into the small pen the team had built next to the garage. At least she looked a lot happier than at their last encounter, so with a pleased smile on his face he walked up to the first journalist.

After everyone had gotten their answers out of him he focussed his attention on signing autographs and posing for pictures. When the last one had thanked him for the tenth time he excused himself and crossed the paddock to go to the Red Bull motor home. Well, it weren't really motor homes where the guests would sit, they were called hospitality units, but it was kind of the same thing. When he wanted to go inside he spotted someone familiar walking through the paddock and he quickly walked back again.

'Hey, how did it go today?' he said to Kimi while adjusting his hat.

Kimi wasn't wearing one and his hair was still wet form presumably a shower. 'Not very well, could be better,' he answered and he scratched his skin as he stopped walking.

'It's still the beginning of the weekend, there's plenty of time to improve,' Seb said encouragingly and he patted Kimi on his back. 'Any sponsor events tonight? I have one for Casio tonight and I still have to practice how to convince people on buying their ugly shit,' he grinned.

'Tomorrow night, although I can't be bothered if people actually want to buy something. I'm there because I have to, I couldn't care less why I have to be there,' Kimi shrugged his shoulders and put his hands into his pockets, but he definitely was smiling.

'You can do that because you're the Iceman, Britta would kill me if I tried something like that,' Seb sulked and he pouted slightly.

'You're their perfect show pony, it's your own fault you let it get this far, so you just have to suck it up,' Kimi said sounding satisfied with his own observation.

'Oh shut up,' Seb scowled and he gave Kimi a push. He was right though, he was somehow Red Bull's golden boy and he didn't want to let the team down. Without a team he was nowhere, so he owed it to them to do something back. Besides, he got paid to do those stupid things.

'You let me down last night. I was forced to have dinner with three girls, I had a headache half way through because of their constant talking,' Kimi sighed, although his face was still blank.

'You know you can solve that in the future by actually asking me to join you, you know that right?' Seb had raised his eyebrows and was amused by how his friend often forgot crucial details like this.

'I thought Keira would have asked you,' Kimi answered.

This grabbed Seb's attention. 'You had dinner with Keira?' he asked, because he didn't understand how Kimi and Keira ended up having dinner together.

'Minttu asked Macy and Macy asked Keira, so yes,' Kimi sounded indifferent about it all. 'She is nice though, I can see why you like her. She doesn't talk as much as the others at least,' he remarked.

'How was she?' Seb investigated, because he didn't know if he was the only one who got the cold shoulder treatment.

'What do you mean?' Kimi asked as he signed a few autographs from a group of small children that had came up to them.

Seb smiled at the children and did the same, although still continuing their conversation. 'Was she angry, unhappy or normal?' he asked. He knew Kimi would be honest at least.

'Why would she be angry or unhappy?' Kimi blinked a few times and clearly was trying to understand what Seb had meant.

'Oh, I don't know. She has been acting differently these past few days,' Seb said trying to sound like it wasn't bothering him that much. He knew Kimi wouldn't care either way, but it felt better to keep it to himself for a little bit longer. 'I have to make sure we get the best out of the car, so I was just checking,' he added.

Kimi stared at Seb as if he knew what was going on, but he didn't ask further questions. 'I need to go, the debrief is starting soon and last time I got a lot of stick for being half a minute late or something,' he said with his brow furrowed, clearly unhappy with such injustice.

'Same for me. Say hi to Minttu from me and enjoy the sushi tonight,' Seb grinned as he knew Kimi didn't care one bit about sushi.

'I just want food you can eat with a fork, is that so much to ask for?' Kimi sounded annoyed and stared at a few Japanese fans who were waiting for him. Their faces dropped when they noticed Kimi staring, as he didn't look very happy.

\----------

He was exhausted, it had been another long day and the Japanese fans had taken all of his energy that had been left after he had said goodbye to everyone in the garage. He collapsed on his bed and didn't move a single limb, because he was too tired to do so. Also everything hurt, because Heikki had been rather aggressive today with his massage, the bastard. Every time they had a slight argument he took it out on his back, not very nice but he got his points across. Heikki had asked a lot of difficult questions during their gym session this morning and he had chosen not to answer them, which Heikki hadn't particularly liked. He wanted to complain to someone about Heikki, but there was no one he could talk to. He had texted Keira several times today, but she had never replied. It was frustrating not knowing what was going on, but she didn't give him an opportunity to find out.

Suddenly he got an idea and jumped off the bed to grab his laptop. He normally used it to watch films on the plane or in his room when the accommodations weren't up to date, but now was not the time for that. He opened Google and his fingers hovered above the keyboard, what should he type? He wasn't really familiar with social media, so he didn't know if she even had social media accounts. After staring at his screen for a couple of seconds he just decided on her name and Google would probably know if she wanted to be found or not. His heart had started to beat faster and he eagerly awaited the results. He scrolled through the page and scanned the descriptions with his eyes, there were a lot of people with the same name as her.

Damn it, now he was certain that he wasn't going to find anything. It also felt a bit wrong to be this desperate for some information, but it was messing with his concentration in the car so he needed to do something about it. All of a sudden his eyes fell on a Instagram page which had the description 'Performance Engineer at Red Bull Racing', there weren't very many of them especially with the same name. He clicked on the link and was directly confronted with a lot of photos, he felt his stomach twist in reply. He bit his lip and his eyes widened a bit when he clicked on a few photos, he swallowed with difficulty and kept his eyes glued to the screen.

She had recently uploaded a lot of photos, photos of cakes she had baked, but also a lot of photos of her with her friends. He recognised Tom and Abby and spotted a photo he had taken himself during the race weekend in Monza. The most recent photo was from last night, together with Macy and Minttu. She looked really happy and beautiful, yes definitely beautiful and hot. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and tried to ignore his body, but not spending time with her had made him long for her even more. He took a deep breath and clenched his fists, trying to calm himself down. In the photo she had her arm around Macy and they were all holding a glass of wine, Kimi had probably taken the picture, poor Kimi. The caption written underneath the photo grabbed his attention.

_Having fun with the girls! #newbeginning #honestpeople #tryingtoforget #stupidmistakes_

His throat tightened and he screwed his eyes shut, was she talking about him? Maybe she meant her ex-boyfriend, but she seemed to have moved on from him. Whatever it was it confirmed that something was bothering her and that resulted in him being worried about her. Although the uneasy feeling in his stomach told him he had probably somehow caused this and the only thing he could think of why that could be was their kiss. Was that why she had written 'stupid mistakes', had she regretted it? He put his face in his hands and tugged on his hair, continuing until the pain drowned out the feeling of disappointment and impotence.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, here it is, chapter 50! I never thought I would make it this far, but here we are.   
> I loved writing every single word of it and the characters are very close to my heart now after writing their journey and their view on life. I loved developing the characters and there's still so much more to come!   
> I want to thank you all for reading the story and sticking around for updates :)

It felt like she was going crazy, she was now even confusing herself, let alone her colleagues. One moment she was happy, feeling like a strong independent women who didn't need a man and another moment she felt like running into Seb's arms to kiss him. It was only getting worse when the weekend progressed, but she had been able to close her mind to these feelings when she was at work. Okay, maybe not so much when Seb had been sitting next to her, but she had pretended well enough she thought. He had been trying to get her attention the whole time and it was a miracle that Rocky hadn't noticed anything that was going on between them. Luckily for her she wasn't as weak anymore as David had made her and she had been able to stick to her plan and ignore Seb's attempts. Although it had taken a lot of effort, because her body longed to be close to him, to be touched by him. It was really annoying, why did he have to be so handsome all the time?

'Do you know where Macy is?' Jenson had caught up with Keira and was now walking next to her.

Surprised that Jenson was talking to her Keira almost walked into a planter. Jenson was just able to pull her away and she was now bright red as a result, way to go to make a good impression. He must think she's an idiot or something.

'Careful there, people will think I pushed you to beat Seb on track,' he grinned cheekily and made sure Keira wasn't able to walk into anything else.

'Sorry,' was all she could mutter and she hoped no one else had noticed.

'So, any idea where Macy is? I checked the Red Bull garage and hospitality, but she isn't there,' he said and he looked somewhat disappointed, although his signature cheeky smile never really left his face.

A smile appeared on her face as she realised what was going on, he wanted to see Macy, but not for work related stuff. 'I think she had to pick up some spare parts, but I'm not sure. Why don't you text her?' she suggested, because Macy was always quick to reply. You never saw her with a phone, but she somehow always was on it.

'That's what I wanted to do, but there's only a slight problem,' he said slowly while he cocked his head. He had used his thumb and index finger to indicate the size of the problem, although of course sarcastically.

'What?' she asked. She couldn't understand what was difficult about sending a text to someone, he could even try to call her.

He scratched his chin and looked a bit uncomfortable. 'You see, I don't have her number,' he said while staring up into the air.

'Ah, that bit is crucial,' she grinned at the goofy look on his face. She was surprised though they didn't have each other's numbers. Especially after last race weekend as they both had suddenly disappeared at the party on Sunday night. She hadn't had time to ask Macy about it, because they had always been in the company of others, but she could imagine what had happened.

'So maybe you can help me out with that?' he asked tentatively, as if it was Keira's number he was after.

She grinned and held out her hand. 'Give me your phone,' she demanded.

With suspicion Jenson held out his phone and didn't let go at first when Keira grabbed the phone.

'Don't worry, I'll not look through your photo's,' she said and she was finally able to grab the phone from his hands. She looked up Macy's number in her own phone and copied it into Jenson's, making sure all the digits were correct. 'Here you go,' she smiled smugly when she gave the phone back. 'You could have asked her yourself, after your-,' she paused for a second, 'shenanigans, you know that right?' she chuckled.

'Yes, but I didn't,' he answered matter-of-factly and was almost successful in hiding the fact his cheeks had turned pink.

'Well, good luck,' she winked before Jenson stepped inside the McLaren hospitality unit. She grinned when he gave her a double thumbs up accompanied by a broad cheeky smile. He was a really fun guy, she thought. She could understand what Macy saw in him and they would be perfect for each other, both very outgoing and cheerful.

She walked back to Red Bull and secretly hoped Macy wouldn't kill her, maybe it was better to inform her before Jenson was contacting her. Although it perhaps was already too late for that, she better prepared herself for some accusing words. Not that she would mind, because they were obviously made for each other and this was just another little push they both needed.

'So, you're giving your number to any driver in the paddock now?'

The voice with a thick Spanish accent made Keira jump. 'You scared me,' she replied, ignoring his question. He had once again appeared out of nowhere, maybe he was actually a Ninja instead of the Samurai he claimed to be. She had heard about the tattoo on his back he had gotten this year and she was somewhat curious to see how it looked on him. Normally she wasn't really a fan of tattoo's, but she liked Kimi's, so maybe Fernando's wasn't too bad either.

He grinned and put his hand on Keira's arm, like he did whenever he saw her. 'Didn't mean to, just wanted to catch your attention before you could give your number to any other guys,' he said with a wink while giving her arm a little squeeze.

'The only driver I have ever given my number to was you, so I don't know what's the problem,' she said with a half smile. He must have seen her with Jenson, did that mean he had been staring at her? She didn't know if that disturbed her or if it was flattering. 'I was giving my friend's number to Jenson,' she explained the situation.

'Ah,' he scratched his beginning beard and he furrowed his brow. 'So if I'm the only one, that means you didn't give your number to Seb? I feel special now,' he chortled and he looked rather smug.

'He found out himself, he's a smart guy,' she said. She still felt the need to defend Seb, especially when Fernando was involved. Although she had promised herself to not think about him anymore, because she wasn't going to let him hold her back. There were enough other guys like Seb, she just had to give them a chance. Not that anyone would ever have such a perfect smile and those beautiful blue eyes, but she just had to settle for that.

'True, he needs something to compensate for his lack of talent,' Fernando said and he lazily pushed his hair out of his face.

She swallowed and decided not to reply to that, so instead gave him a smile and a nod. She didn't want Fernando to think that there was something going on between Seb and her, because he of course knew about Hanna and she didn't want to give him another reason to attack Seb on. She knew she shouldn't care, but she did anyway and she wanted to kick herself for that.

'I know I have tried many times before, but I'm not going to give up. Are you free tonight to have dinner with me?' he asked in the most flirtatious way possible. He rubbed his fingers along his chest, clearly with the intention to draw Keira's attention to it.

'Yeah, alright. I think I'll be able to fit you in,' she answered distractedly, as his tactics had worked and she was now staring at his body. He knew how to play her and she wasn't even sorry for that, in the beginning it had frightened her a bit, but she knew what to expect by now.

'I'll come by after I'm done with debriefing, around seven. Do you want me to pick you up from the hotel?' he asked. He waved at a few people who were walking by, before turning back to Keira to hear her answer.

'OK, I'll be in the lobby at seven and for your information: I hate waiting,' she pointed at her watch to make a point.

He showed his perfect white teeth again and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he laughed. 'Understood.'

'Oh and don't make me eat weird food, I'm not really into fish heads as you Spanish people are,' she hoped it didn't sound too insulting, but no way she was going to eat that. Seb was a very simple kind of guy and they were on the same food level, but she remembered once again that she didn't really know Fernando at all.

'Don't worry beautiful,' he said and he took both her hands in his own. He squeezed them before letting go, because one of his team members had came to usher him away. 'Make sure to wear something nice,' he winked before walking off.

She felt her cheeks burning up and looked around if someone had seen, but luckily everyone had been too engulfed in their own conversations. After a few seconds she realised she was still standing at the same spot Fernando had left her and quickly fixed her hair and straightened her shirt before walking towards their hospitality unit.

'Ah, there you are. I have been looking for you, do you have a few seconds?' Christian Horner had just stepped out and almost bumped into Keira who had wanted to go inside.

Really, was she not able to get a moment for herself? It seemed like everyone wanted something from her today and she longed for her hotel room. She wanted sleep as she was not nearly getting enough during the night, she didn't care that it was midday and she needed to work. Her soft pillow was calling her and her warm duvet which she snuggled in while watching a film. Her head resting on Seb's chest and hearing his comforting heartbeat, while he played with her hair and commentated on all the things he found stupid in the film. Wait, what was she doing? This definitely wasn't something to think about, because it would never happen again. She was clearly very tired and that made her delusional.

'Are you alright?' Christian asked as he had noticed Keira was staring into the distance, clearly her mind somewhere else.

Shit, he was her boss and she was making a fool of herself. 'Sorry, I was just thinking about some changes we have made on the car,' she said apologetically, hopefully he wouldn't notice her white lie. She was also starting to get nervous, what wanted he to talk to her about? Maybe Rocky had noticed something, or maybe she had been screwing up massively. Or it could even be Seb who said something, after she had been so distant to him. Her heart turned cold at that very thought.

'It's good to see that you take your job so seriously, that's what I like to see. Everyone is really positive about you, especially Rocky and Seb,' he said with a smile and he patted Keira on her back. 'That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, how you're going on and if there are points where we as a team can still help you. Do you mind to sit down for a bit?'

Thank God, it wasn't a telling off. With a sigh of relief she smiled broadly and suddenly noticed how beautiful the weather was. 'Of course, no problem,' she answered and followed Christian inside.

\----------

Qualifying left the team very positive, because it was the first front row lockout of the season for Red Bull. Seb had kept his 100% record of taking pole at Suzuka and he had shown the whole paddock that he was meaning business. Keira smiled when she saw his elated smile when he got out of the car, Asia was really his territory. That reminded her of that time they had sat in his room in the garage and she had tried to cheer him up, saying from now he would be on top. She hadn't been wrong and she hoped he could convert it into a race win the next day. However he was still going to be investigated for impeding Alonso and she prayed they wouldn't take his pole away. Not only would that crush Seb, but she imagined Fernando would be bragging about that tonight and she didn't think she could handle that.

'That was a good session, wasn't it?' Macy was cleaning her hands and sat down next to Keira. The cars were now in parc fermé, so there wasn't the normal hustle going on in the garage.

'Perfect result, you did some good work,' Keira complimented her colleague. She stretched her back, the nerves always made her very tense and that resulted in a stiff body.

'You too, the performance has improved since you joined the team, so you should get more credit,' Macy chuckled and she opened a bottle of water. She only put it down again when it was completely empty. 'It was hard work though, I'm completely knackered,' she sighed.

'Asia is Seb's area, has nothing to do with me. Although I'm glad I haven't screwed up, I agree if you give me credit for that,' Keira grinned and she also opened a bottle of water.

Macy rolled her eyes and tapped her foot against the stool. 'He has been looking for you this morning, did he find you?'

Keira shook her head and made sure not to look at her friend. She knew he had been looking for her, hence all the messages and calls. Of course she had seen him to discuss work related stuff, but she had always made up some lame excuse to hurry up and get away from him.

'Is there something wrong?' Macy eyed Keira suspiciously and leaned on the table to get a better sight of her friend's face.

'No, everything's alright, don't worry,' Keira smiled quickly and tried desperately to think of something else to discuss. 'Oh by the way, Jenson came to find me,' she suddenly remembered and sat up excitedly and almost knocked Macy off her stool in the process.

'Really, why?' Macy's eyes had gone wide and her arm slipped off the table, which resulted in her head almost smashing the top. She could just rescue herself and looked slightly embarrassed.

The clumsiness made Keira laugh, it showed her that Macy really liked that guy and it was really adorable. 'If you really want to know, he asked me for your number,' she giggled.

'He did?' Macy was stunned and looked like she belonged in Madame Tussauds. 'What did you do?'

'I gave it to him of course, that guy is so into you I couldn't resist,' Keira grinned. The whole situation was highly amusing, Macy normally was full of confidence and very loud, now she was the complete opposite.

'You think so?' Macy asked in a small voice and checked if no one else could hear them.

'You should know, not me,' Keira raised an eyebrow. 'You are the one who disappeared with him at the party last race weekend,' she smirked.

The face of Macy instantly turned red and she had hopped of her stool. 'Quiet! Don't talk about that in here,' she hissed and she pulled Keira's arm, which resulted in Keira almost falling flat on her face.

'Hey, be a little more careful!' she exclaimed, but Macy wasn't listening.

It felt like her arm was almost being dislocated and she was glad when her friend let go of her arm when they were standing in the women's toilet. The perks of being in a team with almost only men was that they had the toilets all to themselves and it proved a perfect place to discuss serious matters. 'So, spill it,' Keira demanded and she leaned against the back of the door.

'Alright, but don't you dare tease me,' Macy still looked flustered, but her eyes had narrowed and she pointed at Keira with a warning look on her face.

'I'll behave, promise,' Keira chuckled and used the mirror to check her hair. She used her fingers as a comb and made it look a little more presentable.

'OK, we left the party together and we went back to his hotel room,' Macy looked down at her feet and her face looked as red as a tomato.

'And?' Keira sounded impatient and tried her hardest not to laugh.

'We slept together, I think you had figured as much,' Macy said and she looked back up at Keira, although the embarrassment was now replaced by confidence and she laughed for finally getting it off her chest.

'Yes!' Keira almost yelled and she pulled Macy into a hug. 'I'm glad my little plan worked,' she chuckled and was somewhat proud of herself.

'What do you mean?' Macy sounded confused and she pulled out of the hug.

'I might have said to him that he should get his arse into gear, he had been staring at you almost the whole evening at the last party,' she confessed and she hoped her friend wouldn't be mad.

Macy stayed silent for a second and then the corners of her mouth quirked up and it didn't take long before she was beaming again. 'Thanks then, I guess?' she laughed and wrapped her arms around Keira's waist and lifted her up, which resulted in screaming from Keira.

'I keep forgetting how strong you are, because you're so tiny,' Keira said a little out of breath when she had been put down again.

Macy only grinned and she turned towards the mirror. 'I even stayed the night and we talked a long time while just cuddling in bed. It was perfect, especially when I woke up in his arms,' she closed her eyes and unmistakably cherished the memories of that night.

She couldn't understand why, but a heavy and stinging feeling made Keira's smile disappear. She stared at her friend and her stomach twisted uncomfortably, her friend was so obviously in love. She could tell, because by looking at her friend she immediately understood what she was feeling, she recognised that look on her face. The look you get when you're feeling on top of the world, like the world doesn't exist when you're with him and the feeling that you're chest is going to explode when you think of him. The spring in your step when you're walking around, the way the sun is shining brighter just for you and they way you hope it's him whenever someone walks in. The way his smile lights up your world, the way his jokes makes your heart jump with joy, the way his voice make you want to listen to him all day long, the way his nose crinkles when he laughs and the way your heart starts racing whenever he is mentioned. Yes, she was definitely in love with Seb.

'Go chase him,' Keira said to her friend and she plastered a smile on her face. She ignored her heart breaking again when she told her friend exactly what she wanted to do, but couldn't do herself.


	51. Lobby

It was already ten past seven and Fernando still hadn't showed up. She felt horribly overdressed in the busy lobby of the hotel, as everybody was still in team gear and she was in a dress and wearing heels. Seb would have been on time, she thought, so very German. She pulled out the little mirror from her bag and checked if she still looked OK, because people kept staring at her. It probably was because of her being overdressed, of course. She felt uneasily lost and tried to pass the time by texting Macy to ask how her date with Jenson was going, because she had been so nervous since he had asked her out. They were acting like love struck teenagers and it was a miracle that nobody else had picked up on that, however it was only a matter of time.

She crossed her legs when she had put her phone back into her bag and stroke the arms of the large armchair she was sitting in, everything was so damn soft in this hotel. Even sleeping in this chair would be comfortable, probably the floor too judging from the fluffy carpet. She felt the urge to try it out, but she didn't think the Japanese people would really understand her if she would suddenly lay down on the floor, Japan was such a polite nation. With a sigh she checked her watch again and her eyes then wandered to the doors, still no sight of Fernando. She was debating if she should text him, but maybe that would come across very clingy and she didn't want that. Fernando was for having fun, no strings attached and just having a good time, to forget about anything else.

She was still staring at the doors when her eyes suddenly found a very familiar face walking in, his perfect blue eyes were darting around the room and he looked nervous. This drew her attention and she smirked, what was he hiding? She knew that look, she had seen it many times before and he was never really successful in hiding something, he was just too honest. When she looked for clues she spotted a large cardboard box in the bag he was carrying, a very familiar box indeed. Oh no, he didn't. If that was what she thought it was Seb would be in trouble.

'Seb!' she yelled out of the blue, not really knowing what she wanted to say to him.

When he heard his name his eyes went wide and his mouth hung open a little, while clutching the bag to his chest. He looked like he was busted and his cheeks were a little darker than they had been before. Checking the lobby to find out who had called his name he looked like a child that was going to be punished and she found it utterly adorable. It didn't matter what he did, he always had that innocent look in his eyes and it made her heart melt. Also the way his eyes lit up right now when he finally figured out who had called him made her feel all gooey on the inside, which was not a sensation she was very accustomed to.

'You called me?' he asked when he had made his way over to where Keira was sitting. His expression was between elation because she was talking to him and confusion because she was talking to him. The mysterious bag had magically disappeared behind his back and that made for a quite unnatural posture, but he didn't seem to notice.

He didn't need to tell anything, Keira could smell what was going on. 'Seb, is that a pizza behind your back?' she asked nonchalantly and she tried not to smirk, but she failed.

'No!' he quickly replied, but his face betrayed him. He never was good at hiding anything, due to the fact again that he was too honest.

'I can smell it, don't lie,' she chuckled and she leaned sideways to look behind him. It smelled delicious and her stomach rumbled, it was because of Fernando that she was still this hungry.

Seb noticed her looking and quickly turned sideways so the box was still hidden, although it was rather half-heartedly, he knew he was busted. He shrugged his shoulders, smiled and bit his lip. 'I can explain-,' he began.

'Let me guess, you were hungry?' she interrupted him and tried her best not to burst out in laughter when he scratched his neck rather sheepishly and he realised that what she had said was true.

'I just don't like being hungry,' he said looking a bit dazed and he almost dropped the bag. He sighed and then grinned, no longer trying to hide the bag. The smell of pizza only got stronger and his eager eyes showed his desire to just eat the pizza then and there.

'Didn't you hire Heikki to take care of that?' she smirked and leaned back in her chair, while adjusting the hem of her dress. She knew that Heikki was a sensitive subject, he was a good bloke according to Seb, but he just didn't like to be controlled. It was always rather funny to watch the two of them together, because Heikki acted like a father despite being only just a few years older. However they were also very good in trolling each other and were actually very good buddies, as long as Seb didn't have to eat like a rabbit. That were his words, not hers, of course.

'Yes, and there are tomatoes and chicken on his lists. Exactly what I am eating now,' he said, but his eyes were twinkling mischievously and a sly smile was playing on his lips.

'If you lose tomorrow because you're too heavy, it's not my fault,' she informed him, although she was distracted by the smell of pizza. Damn, she was really hungry, especially after Seb described his pizza.

'You can help me eat it?' he suggested and he held out the box to Keira.

Her stomach replied to that by painfully rumbling again, damn Fernando. After David she was no longer going to any length anymore to please someone else, especially when she herself suffered from that. She needed food and Seb brought food, so that was the problem solved. 'OK, but only because I'm starving,' she replied, keeping the desire out of her voice.

'Sweet,' Seb sat down in the chair next to her and put the box in between them. Only then he realised that eating pizza he shouldn't actually eat in the lobby wouldn't actually be such a good idea.

She had spotted the look of concern on his face and thought about a solution. 'Come on, we just need to move the chairs towards the corner. There no one will see us,' she pointed at the area behind a large plant.

'You're my partner in crime now?' he smirked and looked sideways, showing his perfect teeth when he smiled broadly. His eyes glimmered and he ran his fingers through his hair before winking at Keira.

'Shut it, or I'll go,' she replied disapprovingly. She couldn't find an explanation why she didn't feel anger right now, she knew she should, but the way his blue eyes sparkled made her forget about everything that ought to be important.

She checked the room and when it was safe she moved her chair. It was rather heavy, so it was not going very far. Being in heels didn't really help, but Seb came to her rescue. His strong body had no problem with moving the large arm chairs and they set down after every meter to act like they did nothing out of the ordinary.

'Ouch, watch it,' she yelled in pain when Seb had put one of the chairs on her toes. Her heels not providing much protection made for very squeezed toes and she took off her shoe to examine the damage.

'I'm sorry!' Seb yelped and he dropped the other chair, only to be dropping it on his own foot. 'Ouch, shit,' he also yelled now. This resulted in a few stares from people in the lobby, but he quickly sat down and smiled and waved at them.

'You're so PR trained, that you even can get into smiley mode when you're in pain,' she said in awe when she put her heel back on. 'I'm fine by the way, still five toes attached,' she grinned.

'Guess that's what this world does to you,' he smiled, but sadness lingered in his eyes. 'Come on, we're nearly there, I want pizza,' he then added on a happier note and he stood up from his chair again.

After another few rounds of moving chairs and sitting down trying to look normal they were hidden behind the large plastic plant. Seb's eyes glimmered when he opened the box and as the true gentleman he is, he offered the first slice to Keira.

'Thanks,' she smiled and she couldn't remember the last time pizza had looked this appealing. Maybe the fact that the pizza came with a certain German attached to it had something to do with it, but she highly doubted that. Honestly.

'Duck,' Seb almost knocked the pizza out of Keira's hand when he suddenly pulled her out of her chair and towards the ground. His eyes were round from distress and he crouched behind the chairs, while making sure the pizza was safe from harm.

'What the fuck is going on?' Keira hissed and she rubbed her painful wrist where Seb had grabbed her. Well, at least it was never boring with Seb.

He looked over his shoulders and pressed his finger to his lips to indicate that she had to be quiet. He pointed in the direction of the reception and moved a little so Keira could see what was the problem.

'Oh dear,' Keira grinned when she understood what was going on. Christian was leaning against the reception, with Adrian Newey and Helmut Marko next to him. Jackpot of important Red Bull people, people who didn't want their driver to eat take away pizza, especially an XL one. 'Hiding something?' she asked nonchalantly while keeping her eyes on the small entourage in the lobby.

Seb shot her a withering glance and tried to push her, because she was highly unstable crouching on her heels. 'Watch it, or you won't get any pizza,' he said warningly. 'You're at my mercy,' he smiled mischievously and moved the pizza box out of her reach. He winked before peering over the back of the chairs again.

Her stomach twisted and it was not from hunger this time, it had everything to do with the guy sitting next to her. The guy with a girlfriend, a very alive girlfriend and a very committed girlfriend it seemed. Still she wasn't able to control her body and her heart was pounding once again, she felt like running out of the hotel and sing in the streets. He was the guy in the romantic films every girl was after, although this film wouldn't have an happy end. She sighed and tried not to think of running her fingers through that messy  blonde hair, she definitely tried not to look at his butt which she had a perfect view of.

'What are you doing?' Seb nudged Keira and moved himself to also hide behind her chair. He was now very close to her and their sides touched every few seconds.

'Eating the slice of pizza you gave me, what else should I be doing?' she shrugged her shoulders as if he was being ridiculous and the corners of her mouth quirked up when she spotted the incredulous look on his face.

'We're hiding,' he had difficulties with keeping his voice down and he had narrowed his eyes, but still was eyeing the pizza with desire.

'You're hiding,' she corrected him and took another bite of her pizza. Damn, this was exactly what she needed right now. Only thing that could be better was their seating arrangement, as that was kind of non-existing right now. 'Actually, I would like a chat with my boss. Like right now,' she said and intended to stand up.

'No, you don't,' Seb looked almost scared and his fingers had locked around Keira's wrist once again.

It felt like sparks were coming of her skin every time he touched her and she held her breath until he let go again. 'How are you so sure?' she grinned when she had refocused herself.

'Because of the pizza,' he said proudly and a smug expression appeared on his face.

'You think I can't buy my own? I don't need you to get myself some pizza, I'm capable of that myself,' she tried to sound serious, but a faint smile gave her away.

'Other pizzas won't include the funniest guy on earth,' he said while staring at his bosses again. He deliberately didn't meet her eyes and it showed that he hadn't forgotten about how she had treated him over the past time. 'Honestly,' he added with a smile when he turned his head.

She rolled her eyes, but he wasn't wrong. 'Just give me another slice,' she held out her hand and gave up on crouching. She kicked out her heels and sat down on the ground, now she finally knew how soft it actually was. With her eyes still pleading for pizza she settled herself against the front of the armchair and let the spying up to Seb.

Staring at her for a few seconds with a calculated look he then opened the box, treating it like he was showing someone the crown jewels. When he handed her a second slice his phone buzzed, making him almost drop the box. He anxiously looked around if someone had heard them before reading it.

'Heikki?' she asked interestedly. She knew he was never far and he probably would make for a good detective.

'No, Christian. Apparently they are looking for me,' he sighed and he tried to make himself even smaller behind the chair.

'Too bad for them, I guess they have to keep on looking for you for a bit longer,' she chuckled and took another bite of her pizza.

'Yes, screw them, they themselves are often not able to locate,' he smiled and he also took another slice out of the box.

They sat in silence for a while, they only spoke again when they had finished their slice. When Seb had provided them both with more they ended up chatting again. They were still sitting very close and they often touched more times than random people would have done. People who didn't know them would have read more into it than what actually was going on, but it showed what both of them actually wanted.

Sitting here with Seb and laughing at his silly jokes when eating pizza reminded her of the many evenings they had spent like this in Switzerland. When everything had still been uncomplicated, or at least less complicated and she realised how much she had missed spending time with Seb. Maybe it had been wrong to push him away this much, maybe it wouldn't be as hard as she had expected to be around him. She found herself forgetting to eat her pizza more than once as she had been distracted by looking at Seb. He looked even more handsome than the last time she reckoned and the familiar smell of mint and petrol made her feel safe and comfortable.

'Do you want to watch a film together?' Seb asked when they were done eating and resting their heads on the chairs. His face was turned towards Keira and he was without a doubt a lot closer than he had been before.

She was surprised by his question, but she didn't feel the urge to turn it down like she should have done. Instead she was remembering how good it would feel to snuggle up against him while sitting in bed watching the screen in front of them.

'What on earth are you two doing?'

Their conversation got suddenly interrupted and obviously they hadn't been able to keep themselves hidden. She looked at Seb apologetically and then back at Fernando who was towering over them. He looked perplexed and clearly couldn't understand what he was looking at.

'Hi,' she said tentatively and she quickly stood up. Seb did the same and she used her hands to readjust her dress, sitting on the ground hadn't done it much good. 'We were eating pizza,' she explained to Fernando and that earned her an angry glare from Seb.

'I can see that, but why? We're going out for dinner,' Fernando evidently wasn't amused and he had raised one of his thick eyebrows.

'You were late,' she looked at Seb for confirmation and he nodded his head in reply. He didn't even know she was going out for dinner with Fernando and definitely not how late, so it showed how good of a friend he actually was.

'Sorry, I got held up,' still not able to really comprehend the situation Fernando scratched his chin and moved closer to Keira. When his eyes crossed Seb's, they hardened, but Seb clearly wasn't intimidated.

'Don't worry, I was here to give her everything she needed,' Seb smiled very politely, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. They stayed very icy and were definitely not as dreamy as normal.

Fernando looked away from Seb and smiled his broad smile when putting a hand on Keira's shoulder. 'Let's go then, we don't want it to get too late tonight,' he said to Keira, but he winked at Seb.

The expression on Seb's face hardened and he bit his lip again, like he often did when he was nervous or something that was bothering him. 'I need to get going anyway,' he said somewhat bitterly and he bent down to pick up the empty pizza box.

'I'll see you tomorrow,' she said hesitantly and the easiness that had been between them suddenly had turned into awkwardness. Fernando standing next to them and listening to their conversation didn't make it much better.

'Have fun,' Seb said with difficulty, but he grinned when Keira looked unsure.

Keira looked back over her shoulder when Fernando had lead them to the exit of the hotel and smiled when she noticed Seb doing the same. The familiar lurch in her stomach proved where she would rather be right now.


	52. Inattention

It had been an enjoyable dinner with Fernando, but she had struggled to finish her plate. Also the conversation was more like one-way traffic, because he liked to talk about himself very much. Sometimes he had asked her a few questions about herself, but her answer then triggered another story he remembered to share with her. To make it clear, she liked his stories, because he had the life experience of an eighty-year old. Only it made her feel so excluded, because she couldn't relate to any of his stories. She hadn't met anyone famous, of course except from Sebastian and the other drivers, and she also didn't go to fancy parties or visit expensive holiday destinations. That had made it impossible for her to contribute to the conversation and although Fernando didn't seem to mind, it made her feel like less of an equal. Seb on the other hand always knew how to make her feel included and he seemed like a regular human being, just like she was.

She noticed herself smiling when she thought about Seb and got angry at herself for doing so, because it hurt every time she realised that Seb would never be hers. She loved everything about him and the feeling of elation when she thought about him made her feel invincible, only to have that feeling crushed when the image of him kissing a blonde girl popped up in her head. It was so unfair, why was life doing this to her? She was used to having thrown curveballs at her, but this rollercoaster of emotions after what she had went through with David made it all so much worse.

'How do I look?' Macy had just stepped out of Keira's bathroom and sounded rather insecure. She tugged on the collar of her Red Bull shirt and positioned her hair so that it was covering only her right shoulder.

'Normal,' Keira grinned when she had sat back up from the bed she was laying on. Macy had knocked on her door in distress early this morning, so she was still very tired. She had been home early enough last night, but she had spent a couple of hours Skyping with Tom and Abby. It was the closest thing to spending time together with them and they had loads to talk about. It had also been a good distraction from keeping her mind off Seb, but it also made her realise that she missed her best friends massively when Abby and Tom kept on arguing like they had always done.

Macy eyed Keira with suspicion and turned towards the large mirror. 'Are you sure?' she asked.

Seeing her normally very confident colleague being this unsure, made Keira stifle a laugh. 'If you are so self-conscious about it, you should have told Jenson to hold back a bit,' she chuckled.

'I didn't know he was going to do this and that it would still be visible this morning!' Macy shrieked and she had her face now up close to the mirror while looking very flustered. 'Do you think people will believe me when I say I fell or was beat up?' she looked over her shoulder at Keira.

Keira shook her head and this time didn't suppress the urge to laugh. 'Mace, we work with a bunch of guys, what do you think?'

'But-,' Macy began, but stopped when she noticed the look of victory on Keira's face. 'Shit,' she screwed her eyes shut and popped up the collar of her shirt in another attempt to hide the purple marks on her neck.

'Brace yourself for questions about who was the lucky guy though, you know how they are,' Keira teased when she put on her shoes.

Macy's eyes went wide, as she realised what Keira had said. 'I'm not ready for them to find out about Jenson, they would murder me. Also I don't really know what we are, as we haven't discussed that yet,' she turned pink and combed her hair with her fingers so it would cover her exposed neck.

'I'm a bit surprised though no one has found out yet, I have walked in on you kissing several times now. Maybe I can take a photo and send that to the press, to just get it over with. Painful, but quick, just like ripping off a bandage,' Keira chuckled and stood up to check if she had put everything she needed into her bag. She found a couple of papers she needed to take with her to the track still laying on her bedside table and quickly stowed them into her bag.

'Don't you dare! Or I will tell everyone about your crush on Seb,' Macy answered warningly and checked herself in the mirror one last time before she also gathered her stuff. She had only been here an hour, but her stuff already was spread across the room.

Ouch, that hurt. Macy's words had felt like a knife stabbed into her chest and Keira was sure that dying wouldn't be more painful than this. David had brought her close to death, so she thought she had the right to compare those feelings to each other. Being overdramatic was also one of her much used skills, so she wasn't sure which feeling was closer to the truth in the end.

'Keir, what's wrong?' Macy had noticed the way Keira's face had fallen and also the lack of response had her worried. 'I won't tell anyone, I promise!' she tried to cheer up her friend, but it looked like Keira wasn't even hearing her.

She was drowning in a flood of memories that had washed over her when she had been taken off guard by Macy's comments. Flashes of sitting together on the rocks at the lake, watching films on her sofa, teaching Seb how to cook, laughing about silly things, taking long walks and feeling his touch on her skin all made her heart ache even more. She only was brought back to reality when she felt a hand on her shoulder and found Macy's eyes when she looked up.

'Are you okay?' Macy sounded worried, but her eyes gave away that she knew something was seriously wrong with her friend. 'Has it something to do with Seb?' she inquired carefully.

It all became too much for a moment and before Keira could get a grip on herself again she felt the tears escaping from her eyes, exposing her weakness to her colleague. It was only when she was softly pushed back to sit on the bed that she could find the strength to stop the source of her wet cheeks.

Shock was still visible in Macy's eyes, but she tried to hide it from Keira. She wrapped her arms carefully around Keira's shoulders and rocked her back and forth to calm her down. The fact that her friend could go from laughing and teasing her about Jenson to looking absolutely broken in just a minute worried her.

They sat in silence until Keira's phone rang and it was a welcome distraction from the suffocating thoughts in her head. Somehow Fernando had also crossed her thoughts several times and she didn't know what she wanted anymore. Maybe Fernando could be more than just a distraction and she just had to open her heart to him. With a little shake of her head, for making no sense at all to herself, she picked up the phone to listen what Christian wanted from her.

\----------

The build-up to the race was the most stressful time of the weekend, but also the part she liked most. The rush of adrenaline and the expectation of a great race made her feel alive and she was totally focused on her job. She herself was also highly competitive and therefore wouldn't want to leave a stone unturned for reaching their optimal performance. That's the reason why she was rushing through the garage, there had been some concerns about Seb's car and they did not have much time to get it fixed. She dodged people who were in her way and in the mean time checked her notes, she really needed to start writing more neatly.

'Hey, watch it!'

She had been focussing on decoding some of her notes and hadn't watched where she was going, which resulted in her walking straight into someone. Fuck, it felt like she had run into a wall and that was something she wouldn't recommend to anyone. She was glad that the person she walked into had the reflexes to catch her before she ended up on the ground. When she looked up to see who it was she felt her stomach lurch and breathing suddenly became very difficult. She was immediately caught out by those twinkling dreamy blue eyes which were hovering inches above her face.

'Hi,' Seb spoke again, 'you could've just asked for a hug, you know?' he grinned while still holding Keira very tightly.

She was still too stunned by the situation and her eyes were still on his face, asking herself if he had became handsomer since she had last seen him. The crinkles of his eyes in combination with his soft lips made for another twitch in her stomach when she observed those traits. The sparkle in his eyes was still there and the curve of his lips when he smiled was more perfect than she could remember. With her mouth turning dry when she noticed Seb eying her lips and biting very seductively on his own, she almost dropped the notes which had caused this situation in the first place.

'I can let you go, if you want?' he had leant in even closer and whispered that sentence into Keira's ear, all while still holding her dangerously close to his body.

She swallowed and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, all while a certain warmth and excitement started to spread through her body. 'Not necessary,' was all she could reply and she wasn't even sure if that had came out right. The way his hands were positioned on her body were way too distracting and the fact his face was even closer than before made her forget about all the basic things like talking.

'I told you I will always be there for you if you fall, literally this time,' he grinned, but his eyes showed that there was more to that statement than just the joke.

She smiled faintly. 'I you weren't in this corridor, I wasn't going to fall in the first place,' she said while still not being able to look away from his eyes. His perfect blue eyes, which you could drown in anytime without wanting to come up for air once.

'You always know how to make me feel bad,' he pouted, but the corners of his mouth had quirked up. 'At least you never give me the chance to get arrogant,' he smirked. He moved his hands, which were still on Keira, from her back to her waist and pulled her a bit closer to him again.

'We have a very different idea of arrogance then,' she grinned and shot him a teasing smile. She tried not to notice his hands moving to her waist and wanting to do the same to him. Instead she decided on trying to wind him up again, as that was always one of her favourite things to do and a welcome distraction from a certain feeling that was building up in her body resulting from his hands on her waist.

'You think I'm arrogant?' he had raised one of his eyebrows and an amusing grin was playing on his lips. He pulled her even closer, so that their bodies were almost touching. He removed one of his hands from her waist and raised it to run it through her hair.

'Maybe,' she teased. She couldn't remember feeling this special, ever. The caring look on his face, the acceptance of her constant teasing resulting in that beautiful smile and just the way he looked at her. Maybe it was because she wanted to see and feel those things, but she didn't care right now. She felt safe and wanted, appreciated for who she was and he always radiated that confidence what made her able to be completely herself around him. He never judged her and that was such a difference from David, who always tried to make her feel small and insecure.

'What part of me makes you think I'm arrogant?' he tried to get more information on the subject. He let his fingers wander from her hair to her face and then to her neck, letting his arm rest on her shoulder.

A shiver shot down her spine and she tried her best not to show to Seb what he was doing to her. 'Hm, let me think,' she began and she pulled a face like she was deep in thought. 'Your finger waving when you've got pole or a win,' she said with a devilish grin, as she knew he always got a lot of stick for doing that.

His expression turned to worry and disappointment. 'You also think that's stupid?' he sounded a lot more insecure and the twinkle in his eyes had disappeared. He withdrew his hands from Keira's body and took a step back.

Keira panicked, this was not what she had intended to happen. Clearly Seb wasn't the confident guy he always pretended to be and the sadness in his eyes made her feel guilty as hell. Why did she have to bring that up? Besides guilt she also felt a sudden wave of relief hitting her, what confused her as she didn't know something had been bothering her. Seb showing his vulnerable side to her and relying on what others were thinking of him made her feel even more connected to him, because it showed her that he was just a normal human being like herself. Not an entire normal human being of course, but life wasn't as plain sailing for him as she thought it was.

'No, I was only joking, I think it's incredibly cute!' she quickly responded and without thinking putting her own arms around him and pulling him close again, she was missing the warmth of his body against hers.

'Are you sure?' he was still sounding uncertain, but a small smile had already crept back on his face. When Keira had closed the distance between them again by putting her arms around him he had let out the tiniest of moans.

That moan, although very little, hadn't escaped Keira's attention and it had her immediately flustered. It had aroused her massively, but also painfully brought her back to reality. The whole situation she found herself in was everything she had said would never happen again and still here they were. She was conflicted what to do, she wanted to let go of Seb right away, but the way his body showed he was still not his smiley self after what she had said made it very hard for her to do exactly that. She wasn't used to this Sebastian and he looked so fragile, she didn't want to screw him up even further just before the race. She wasn't going to be responsible for a bad result, she was never going to forgive herself for that.

With her hands still tight around his body, she looked back up to him. 'I'm really sure, everyone who says something else is just jealous. They all want the drivers they support or themselves to be in your position, don't let them get to you. You have worked your butt off to get here and the other drivers should just work harder if they want to beat you,' she smiled and she hoped it had sounded as sincere as she had intended it to. She rubbed her hands on Seb's back in a comforting way and felt relief when she saw his face turn into a huge grin again. That's better.

'Forget that I said that you always make me feel bad, you definitely also know how to make me feel better about myself,' he beamed and he pulled Keira into a hug, hugging her maybe a bit tighter than what he would have done with someone else.

'Promise me you'll never stop being Finger Boy, it's what makes you you,' she said sounding muffled, as Seb still hadn't released her from the hug. Not that she minded, in fact she had melted into his body and she had her face buried in the curve of his neck. It fitted perfectly.

'Finger Boy?' he laughed. 'Is that what you're calling me behind my back?

'Yes, everybody does,' she grinned. Reluctant to let go, she moved her head so she was now able to see his face again. The way he was laughing made her want to join in too, because it was just so contagious. She wasn't going to forget that smile on his face for a very long time and although it was wrong it always made her feel instantly better. Always when she was feeling down the image of Seb smiling somehow floated through her head, comforting her without him even being there himself to do that.

'I don't know if I should be offended or honoured,' he chuckled and looked down at Keira, as if she knew the answer.

'That's for you to decide, but you're definitely the cutest Finger Boy there is,' she giggled and she poked him in his stomach to tease him.

'You never let go of an opportunity to call me cute. I'm starting to think you actually mean it,' he winked and with his eyes still fixed on Keira's he poked her in return, resulting in a squeal.

With hot red cheeks she tried to disappear from the situation, but of course that wasn't possible as she was currently held by Seb. 'Uh, hmm...,' was all the sound she could produce.

'Don't worry, you're very cute yourself,' he smiled and it wasn't even in a flirtatious way this time, but a very honest one. He stroked her hair as if he was handling something that was very precious.

That was it, she was certain she was going to faint. There wasn't a more perfect guy than Seb, she was sure of it. It felt like time was standing still, they were staring into each other's eyes without saying anything, but saying so much at the same time. The hassle of the garage around them didn't seem to exist anymore and the only thing they could focus on was on each other.

'There you are!' Heikki had walked into the small corridor and found the pair in a very intimate situation, again.

Like they were burnt they let go of each other and both turned bright red at the sight of Seb's trainer. This wasn't the first time he had found them in a similar situation.

'I was just on my way to the front of the garage,' Seb said clearly trying to act like the situation hadn't been anything out of the ordinary.

' _Sure_ ,' Heikki answered while folding his arms, giving Seb a very disapproving glance. 'I didn't know that required hugging your colleagues,' he said while now staring angrily at Keira, as if she had made him do that.

'I was just wishing him good luck,' Keira tried to explain herself, but it was rather half-heartedly and she could now understand why Heikki looked so displeased. He was very close to Seb and therefore must also know Hanna very well. Damn it, Hanna. She had almost forgot about her and it hit her like a brick again when she remembered why she had been feeling like shit in the first place.

'I could see that,' Heikki sighed and it looked like he had decided on not investigating any further as he wouldn't like what he would find out then. 'Everybody is looking for you two, so I would suggest coming with me,' he tried to smile, but you could see that it took him a lot of effort.

When Heikki had turned around Seb quickly squeezed Keira's hand and they shared a moment of understanding before following Heikki back into the busy part of the Red Bull garage.


	53. Conflict

Keira was still recovering from the podium celebrations and she couldn't get the image of Seb on the top step of the podium out of her head. She was beaming and felt like dancing through the paddock as the adrenaline of the race clearly hadn't worn off yet.

'Another perfect result for you again, is there no way you can get Kimi into Webber's seat?' a smiling Minttu pulled Keira into a hug.

'I wish I could, I think Seb would like that,' Keira answered as she let go of Minttu. She was sure Seb would like that as she had heard enough stories from Seb about working together with Mark. From the outside everybody seemed to like Mark and believed him when he portrayed Seb as the problem, but inside the team Mark could also be a handful. Kimi on the other hand didn't play mind games, he was just here to race.

'Maybe one day, you'll never know how things pan out,' Minttu chuckled and she eyed Seb and Kimi who were standing a few meters from them, having a laugh about something.

'That's true, let's wait what life has in store for us,' Keira beamed. She was slapped on the back by many people walking by and a lot of happy cheers were exchanged between the members of the team.

Seb had won the race and so became the first driver of this season to win consecutive races and also took his second Grand Chelem of his career, something he was very smug about. The fact that Fernando had retired also played a part in that, as he had now closed the gap to only four points with still a lot of races to go. He seemed like a changed man when he had stepped out of the car and Suzuka being his favourite circuit made the win that much sweeter. The podium had been magical with the surprise appearance of Kobayashi to please the home crowd. The Japanese fans were such dedicated racing fans that it looked like he had just been elected president or something.

'I told you I was going to win,' a smiling Seb had just joined the group and a silent Kimi had followed him.

Keira raised her eyebrows and tried not to laugh at how silly he looked with that smug face. 'You do that every time, so sometimes you have to get it right,' she grinned as she tried to ignore how cute he looked while he was oozing with confidence and excitement. He was still in his race suit and the strong smell of champagne filled her nostrils, reminding her of last race when he had hugged her when he had returned to the garage after all his obligations.

'You must be fun at parties,' Seb gave Keira a little push and rolled his eyes when he saw that Minttu was also looking highly amused.

'I am, as you might know,' Keira answered dryly, but she felt her cheeks flush as she reminded how the last party had ended. Fuck. She tried not to show that she remembered that specific incident, but the way Seb was looking at her with one of the corners of his mouth quirked up and the littlest of shrugs made her look at her feet. He has a girlfriend, he's playing you, don't let him fool you again, she reminded herself.

'I do,' he said when a little silence had fallen and his eyes flickered darkly, showing a hint of the desire that had been visible that night.

Kimi didn't seem to notice what was going on and looked happily around him, but Minttu was looking at Seb with the greatest interest and then at Keira. She turned her head as to ask Keira what was going on, but it was clear that she didn't want to say anything in front of Seb.

'You both are at least more fun than this one is,' Minttu tugged on Kimi's arm and he lifted his sunglasses to look at them, but seemed totally unbothered by that statement.

Seb on the other hand laughed himself silly. 'You haven't seen anything, you just need to let him have more Vodka. I promise you he will be excellent fun to hang out with, you just need to make sure that he doesn't challenge you to drink as much as him,' he grinned and he exchanged a few looks with Kimi. 'I can promise you that doesn't end well, probably also with a lot less clothes than you started out with.'

Now it was the girls turn to exchange looks with each other and they didn't know if they had to be surprised or appalled, but in the end they weren't any of them.

'I am Finnish myself, so I think I'll be alright. You on the other hand,' Minttu gave Keira a smirk and opened her bag to get something. When she had found what she was looking for she showed the others what it was.

Now it was Keira's and Seb's turn to raise their eyebrows and laugh in amazement. 'You carry Vodka in your bag?' Keira asked with her eyes as wide as saucers. 'I know Finns take their Vodka very seriously, but this is on another level,' she shook her head in disbelief.

'Just for emergencies,' Minttu acted like it was the most normal thing in the world and wanted to put the bottle back into her bag. Only Kimi prevented that and took a large swig before handing it back to Minttu.

'What? I was thirsty,' he said indifferently when the others had stared at him.

'You have water for that,' Seb pushed his own bottle of water in Kimi's hand and tried to hide his big grin from the girls.

Keira tried not to be surprised anymore, nothing in this paddock was normal after all. 'Well, as it seems that Kimi has already started the party, do you want to come along later? The team is throwing a party in town because of Seb's win, we could do with some company,' Keira smiled at the two Finns.

'You are inviting people to _my_ party?' Seb was glaring at Keira and had his bottom lip pushed out, but the twinkle in his eyes gave away what he really thought about the situation.

'As you didn't have the decency to invite your best friend, I saw it as my duty to make sure your friends feel appreciated,' Keira said while winking at Minttu. She always liked winding up Seb and when she looked over at him she saw it had worked.

He looked slightly offended, but the way his mouth hung open in a silly way made for a funny sight. A smile slowly crept back on Seb's face and he suddenly took a step closer to poke Keira in her side, missing only by a tiny margin.

However Keira had jumped back in terror and shrieked loudly when she had seen Seb's arm going into her direction. She had shielded her face in an apparently still working reflex and had ducked down to avoid his arm. For a second she had thought it was David standing in front of her and her heart was suddenly racing a thousand miles an hour.

'What the-?' Seb looked at her and a look of horror was visible on his face. His mouth now hung open again, but his eyes were flat and full of concern. Then realisation hit him and he let out an 'oh' with a sigh. His shoulders slumped down again and he looked unsure of what to do.

Keira quickly wanted to divert the attention that she was now getting and tried to plaster a smile back on her face. 'I'm sorry, you took me by surprise,' she explained with the greatest effort. He was still in her head, still taking over her life. It made for a horrible realisation, as she had thought that moving away from David would fix all the problems. Silly her.

An awkward silence had fallen, even Kimi seemed to realise that something was going on. Minttu had a worrying look in her eyes and looked at Seb to gain some information on what was going on. Seb however diverted his eyes, clearly remembering something unpleasant as his eyes had lost their trademark sparkle. He instead tried to make eye contact with Keira, but she was too wrapped up in her own share of memories.

'Are you alright?' Minttu tried and she took a step towards Keira to be closer to her.

'I'm fine,' Keira responded automatically, although she knew she wasn't at all. Because it was Minttu she didn't mind her coming closer, she wasn't a man after all. She knew that was a misplaced feeling of security, because anyone could hurt her if they wanted to.

'We need to be back anytime now, shall we go?' Seb spoke up, breaking the uncomfortable vibe that was still there.

Keira gave him a tiny smile, she knew they didn't need to be back right now, but that it was Seb trying to get her out of this situation. She adored both Minttu and Kimi, but she wasn't ready to share her story with them. Hell, even Seb only knew a little, she hadn't even found to confidence to tell him about David. He only knew there had been someone who had hurt her, nothing more. Still he understood and she was grateful that he made an effort to get her into a more comfortable setting.

'Kimi also needs to be back, so we'll see you tonight then?' Minttu smiled, making everybody also smile in reply. 'I hope to keep him sober enough to get there at least,' she laughed, because Kimi was rummaging through her bag to undoubtedly look for the bottle of Vodka.

'Good luck with that,' Seb smirked and he slapped Kimi on his back. They shared an inside joke when Kimi shrugged and let out a little huff that could pass for an expression of amusement.

After saying their goodbyes the little group parted and both set out in opposite directions. Seb maybe walked a bit closer to Keira than two people who were just friends would normally do, but other people didn't seem to notice. Keira however did and felt oddly reassured by it, because it felt safe. The fact that Seb seemed to care enough to want to protect her was something unfamiliar, but resulted in an unnoticed weight lifted off her shoulders.

\----------

There were loud noises everywhere and the cheesy choice of music made for an amusing point of topic, although engaging in a conversation was becoming more and more difficult by the minute. Not only because of that choice of music, but also the alcohol was kicking in very quickly. People had opted to order rounds for everyone, but instead of the known beverages went for obscure Japanese options. They were clearly a far bit stronger than they were used to and everyone seemed to be hammered within half an hour of arriving.

Keira had teamed up with Macy and Minttu at the hotel and they had spent an hour getting ready before joining the others of the team. To Macy's disappointment Jenson had other obligations and wasn't able to come tonight, but she was determined not to let it spoil her night. She got plenty of  attention from other guys and Keira was glad Jenson wasn't here to see her flirting this shamefully. It showed Keira that Macy missed Jenson more than she led on, but she wasn't going to tell her off for having fun. Minttu had been glad to leave Kimi behind, saying that him getting drunk wasn't her responsibility now and she needed honest opinions on how she looked, something Kimi unsurprisingly couldn't provide.

They were dancing very closely and had been joined by a few of the Red Bull mechanics a while back, as they were Macy's closest friends. Keira also was getting to know them better and she liked them having around as they also made sure that no other guys could try something with them. It felt like their own personal bodyguards and Charlie was already drunk enough to think he really was one. He pretended to communicate by earpiece with an imaginary bodyguard somewhere else in the room. It had everybody in stitches and when he came back a while later with a clearly intoxicated and confused Seb it had them almost on the ground from laughter.

'Someone was filling him up with drinks, I thought it was my responsibility as his bodyguard to save him from this awful person,' Charlie said with a certain amount of authorisation in his voice and his chest puffed out with pride.

Macy tried to response to that, but couldn't stop laughing and grabbed her side to stop it from hurting. 'Charlie, he was celebrating with Kimi. You know, his best friend?' she said when she had taken a deep breath and pulled herself together.

Charlie looked from Seb, who still didn't understand what was going on, to Kimi who was sitting at the bar, looking rather lonely at the moment. 'Ah, I see. Sorry, I thought he wanted to poison Seb,' he said with a sheepish look on his face.

With a loud noise Minttu spat out her drink and looked at Charlie with wide eyes. 'Kimi wants to poison Seb? What on earth have you been drinking?' she asked incredulously.

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. 'Why not?' he asked. 'Do you know Kimi?' he was now swaying dangerously and hung onto Seb who was eying Keira since Charlie had dragged him to the group.

Chris almost choked on his drink and Keira had to slap him on his back to get him breathing again. Keira smiled at Charlie, he was one funny guy and clearly completely out of it. Seb didn't seem much better and she felt a bit uncomfortable how he had been staring at her for the last few minutes. He had that same look in his eyes like he had before the race when they had run into each other. It was in some way flattering to have someone looking at her like that, but at the same time made her feel uncomfortable as she knew she wasn't the only girl he was looking at like that.

After everyone had calmed down enough after Charlie's latest remark, Minttu had put her arm around Charlie's shoulder. 'You know Charlie, I'm Kimi's girlfriend. You knew that right?' she grinned.

'Ah, I knew I had forgotten some details. Sorry!' he removed his arm from Seb and put them around Minttu, resulting in Seb dropping down to the floor. Seb clearly had been worse than he looked.

Seeing Seb fall down made Keira rush to his side and help him up again. Being this close to him again and feeling her skin making contact with his made her shiver. Without herself noticing she let herself openly look at his body, noticing a small amount of exposed soft skin. Wanting to get him on his feet again she 'accidentally' let her fingers touch the naked skin and felt a strange feeling spread through her body, making her feel drunker than the weird Japanese alcohol had done. The moan she got in response to her actions was different from anything she had heard tumbling from Seb's lips before, it was full of desire and pleasure. Luckily the others were still fussing over Charlie and hadn't worked out why Keira had turned a deep crimson.

'You look hot,' Seb suddenly whispered in Keira's ear. Lead on by the high amount of alcohol in his blood and the fire inside his body that she had ignited by touching that sensitive skin low on his stomach. He tried to move closer so that their bodies were touching, but his coordination wasn't what it used to be anymore.

Wanting to let happen what Seb was trying to do, Keira stopped trying to get Seb on his feet. She let him wrap his arms around her and she hoped it would look like she was letting him find support to get up again. However when she unexpectedly felt his lips brush against the curve of her neck she took in a sharp breath, cursing the sensation that caused her something far more than only pleasure. Little noises escaped her mouth and when she leaned back to expose her neck even more, she almost lost herself in the delight of Seb's soft lips exploring every bit of her exposed skin. The shivers spreading through her body every time his lips made contact again and the little puffs of breath that caused goosebumps all over her skin had her trembling like a leaf. She wanted more, this wasn't nearly enough, she wanted all of Seb.

'You're the most beautiful girl in the world,' he whispered in her ear while he let his hand move up from her waist. He slowly let his fingers wander and it was clear where he wanted them to go.

She also realised what he was doing and the words he spoke where only now starting to get processed by her brain. With a yelp she pushed Seb off her, what on earth where they doing? She started to breath very rapidly and she started to get dizzy. She realised that everyone else were still around them, she had all forgotten about them and she didn't know what they had seen. Seb was caught off guard and almost toppled over, leaving him confused and disorientated. Keira failed to notice what was going on and only tried to get herself out of the situation she had found herself in. She needed to get away, she needed to get away from Seb. He was never going to be hers, who was she kidding? She was disgusted by herself for wanting someone who was so clearly already taken and letting things get so far when she knew he had someone waiting for him at home.

'Hey, calm down,' Seb had grabbed Keira's arm and pulled her effortlessly on her feet. He wrapped his hands around her wrists so she couldn't get away and tried to make her face him.

Keira froze when she felt his hands on her wrists. She was trapped now, she couldn't get away. The alcohol made her head spin and she was swaying on her legs. She tried to look around, but the whole room was spinning, she only could see dark figures around her. A familiar feeling started to sink in, a person was trapping her while he towered over her was something she had experienced many times before. Any time now she would feel the first blow, as it usually would start like that. She closed her eyes so she couldn't see it coming and knew it was no good to try to fight it. It was only making it worse, she only hoped it wasn't going to be her face this time. Her face was taking much more effort to hide the evidence and she didn't even want to think about the pain it would cause her. She was holding her breath, but still the first blow hadn't come. Nausea was starting to set in and tears were leaking from her eyes, she wanted it to stop.

'Keir, talk to me!' Macy's voice came from far away and the worry that was so clearly audible went unnoticed by Keira.

She felt multiple arms around her and it didn't make sense, had David arranged some friends to help him with his job? Only the thought made her want to vomit and she opened her eyes to look for something although she didn't know what. It only confused her more, but then she spotted two blue eyes, looking distressed but they hadn't lost their ability to calm her down. She kept focussing on those eyes and slowly her surroundings started to come back. She spotted all her friends looking at her with concern and suddenly guilt started to take over.

'What's wrong?' Seb's voice sounded timid and he was still holding on to Keira's wrists.

'Let me go,' she yelled. No, she needed to get away, right now. She couldn't face Seb, she wasn't going to let this happen. Why was he doing this?

'Please,' pleaded Seb and this time he took a step closer, looking for a sign of sensibleness.

The pleading in his voice made her insides boil. 'Go back to Hanna,' she then blurted out, not registering how that would sound. She was angry with herself for not being able to be strong and walk away, but she was angrier at Seb for acting the way he did while he had a girlfriend at home.

With great effort she tore herself away from Seb, who looked completely stunned, and started to get away from the group. Everything was blurred, because she was still crying, but she didn't care. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but she tore herself away again. She needed to go, she wasn't worth everyone's concern. David had always known and now she knew herself. There was no point in denying it, who was she kidding? She was a nobody, she would always be a nobody. Always.


	54. Realisation

Seb was following Keira through the masses of people, but she was too quick. Before he knew it she had escaped from his eyesight and he was left scanning the room in a desperate attempt to find that reddish hair somewhere in the crowd. Unfortunately she was nowhere to be seen and he considered for a moment if he should ask people if they had seen her, but he quickly shoved aside that stupid idea. The only thing he could think of where she would have gone to was outside, but maybe she had already gone somewhere else. Not knowing what else to do he made his way to the exit, trying not to get any attention on himself. He was in no mood to deal with fans asking for photos or autographs at the moment, so he kept his head down.

Despite the high consumption of alcohol Kimi had been able to get into him, he had considerably sobered up after what had happened with Keira. The one moment they had somehow ended up on the ground with their bodies together and the other moment she was yelling things that didn't make sense at all, before shouting at him and running away. He had been completely taken aback by what she had shouted at him, he had felt the blood escape from his face as a result. She knew about Hanna, she knew he had hidden Hanna from her. At that point he knew he had totally screwed up and that he should have broken it off with Hanna way sooner.

After last race he had sat down with Hanna to discuss their relationship, he had dreaded the conversation because he had felt awful for what he had done, he still did. When he had found the courage he had gone as far as to tell her that he had met a girl that brought out the best part of himself, that he dreamt about at night, that he spent as much time with as possible and that he had tried his best to ignore those feelings. After a short silence he had continued and had told her that despite his best efforts he had ended up kissing her. Hanna had looked down at her hands and he had been sure that she was going to cry. He definitely hadn't expected her to raise her head and directly look into his eyes while saying that she herself had some things she wanted to get off her chest. She then had confessed that she had made some mistakes too, even bigger mistakes than he had done according to her. He immediately had known he couldn't be angry with her, but it still had hurt to hear that she too hadn't been honest about their relationship.

Hanna had looked anxiously at him for a moment and then had told him there had been someone else for a while now. She had struggled to find a moment to confess that to him, because she hadn't want to distract him from his championship fight. He had sighed, because Hanna was always this sweet, but at the same time he had also been relieved that she had found someone else. Not only because he could feel a lot less guilty, but more the fact that there was someone else who could fulfil her needs better than he could ever do himself being away most of the time. She deserved someone who was at home with her, because that's what she liked most, someone she could depend on every day and build up a steady life. Hanna had never said it to him, but he knew she hated that he was always somewhere around the world instead of at home.

In the end they had ended up spending the entire evening talking. After a few glasses of wine Hanna had been ready to confess to him what she had been up to when he had been away at race weekends. It turned out she often had spent these days with a guy she had met during a night out with her friends, Peter was his name. She had tried not to like him, just like he had done with Keira, but you can't stop feeling what you feel. She had spent the days and some nights at his house, there where she wouldn't be alone and it had became clear to Seb that Hanna had even gone further than he had ever dared to with someone else. It seemed like she already was in a new relationship and he couldn't even blame her for that, their lives had gone into such opposite directions because of his racing.

After a short silence they had ended up sitting opposite to each other, wondering where it had all gone wrong. They couldn't be angry with each other as they had both made the same mistakes and only had themselves to blame for letting it get this far. The fact that they hadn't been intimate for months should have rang a bell, but they somehow had both ignored it or just hadn't wanted to face what it meant. In a final attempt to fix things they had gone out for dinner and despite trying their best to be the couple they had always been, it hadn't felt the same anymore. It was when they had gone back home that they had decided together that it was best if they would end it there, but they had both still been unsure if it was going to be the right decision.

They had cried and spent the rest of the evening in each other's arms, recalling all the good things from the past while draining another bottle of wine. Laughter had filled the room as well as sobs, especially when they had recalled their time at high school, where it had all started. They had put on their favourite music, danced with each other in the middle of the living room and got drunk without even caring. When they had decided to watch their favourite film they had snuggled up together on the sofa and finished the bottle of Vodka he had found somewhere. Although the film wasn't that sad, they had ended up crying again and when he had wanted to comfort Hanna, they had suddenly kissed. It had been different from the kiss in the restaurant, because this time it had meant something again. The kiss had been passionate and they both had put in all the feelings they currently felt, but couldn't express any other way. They both hadn't want to let go, because they both had known that it would be their last kiss. When they finally had pulled apart, they had looked into each other's eyes, understanding each other without saying anything. They had snuggled up again and both had tried to ignore the fact that everything they were doing then was going to be the last time.

When the film had ended and they had sobered up a bit, they had talked about the future. They both weren't ready yet to share it with the world, as it was still so fresh and they both needed time to process. They had to build up their lives from scratch again and they preferred to do that without the attention of the media. For now this was going to be between them and they had even discussed what they were going to do with the house. They had both gotten depressed when that topic had came up, so they had agreed to talk about that later, because it hadn't been the right time for it. Before they had gone to sleep, they had apologised to each other again and promised to make the best of what life had to offer. They had given each other the blessing to follow their heart, like they should have done a long time ago.

Seb blinked his eyes and shook his head to get back to the present, because he had temporarily zoned out. He need to get that evening out of his mind, as there were more important things on his mind. It had only been at that moment hearing Keira shout Hanna's name that he knew he was completely in love with her, he wasn't even sure that he had ever felt that way about Hanna ever. They had been so young when they got together that it was possible that he never had felt so strongly about someone before. How could he have been so blind for so long? Keira was worth so much more, he should have taken a chance on her long before. He didn't mind her having some baggage and in her words 'not being normal', he was a racing driver himself and that also couldn't be classified as normal. He should have fought for her earlier and seeing again how her past was still haunting her tonight, he should have protected her.

He made his way past the bouncers and stepped outside, immediately feeling the cool air calm him down. He hadn't noticed himself all getting worked up and was glad that he was now standing outside, using the quiet surroundings to think things over. He needed to find Keira and explain, he needed to explain to her about the situation with Hanna and how complicated that had gotten. He had to explain that Keira wasn't the reason for him acting the way he had done, he had to explain that he and Hanna had practically been over for a long time and that Keira hadn't been just someone to enjoy when he was away from home. He sighed when he realised he had to explain why he had been such a coward to not mention Hanna in the first place. He was so used to people using everything against him that he had made it a habit to keep as much from anyone as possible. He was afraid of what the media would say and the accusations that would bring. He had always lived for racing and the way he and Fernando were battling for the title made everything else somehow seem less important. He now knew that he had been completely wrong, some things were definitely as important as racing and he shouldn't have been afraid of what the world was thinking of him. His arguments about giving her space and not talking about his relationship because of her own having failed also seemed rather weak now suddenly. He clenched his fists and tried not to let out a frustrated yell. He should have known that Keira wasn't just anyone, he should have trusted her.

After taking a few deep breaths he looked around him and tried to come up with a plan. A few people were sitting on the steps or smoking a cigarette, but Keira wasn't among them. Not that he expected her to be, he knew that she didn't want anyone else to see her when she was upset, she thought that would show how weak she was. See, he already knew so much about her, why did he only just realise what that all meant? He clinched his fists and when he spotted a small ally between the building and some bushes, he decided to take a look. If you didn't know it was there you would probably have passed it without taking notice of it. A perfect hiding place.

He felt nervous when he approached the ally. What if she wasn't there, what if she was there? He didn't even know if she wanted to see him, he didn't even know what state she would be in. He hated to think of her all alone and upset, so he quickened his pace. He was going to fix this, he needed to fix this. When he turned the corner he indeed saw a person hiding behind a few discarded boxes. When he got closer he could see that Keira was sitting on an old crate with her head in her hands. The way her shoulders were moving he knew she was crying, that sight made his stomach sink. He was responsible for this, what had he done?

'Keir?' he tried carefully, not wanting to scare her. He didn't await her answer and crouched down next to her, making sure to keep his distance. They had been in this situation before and he remembered what had happened then. No contact when she was upset, that was what he had learned.

She slowly raised her head from her hands, showing a tear stained face and red eyes. 'What do you want?' she said with a strained voice, not even having the energy to tell Seb to go away.

'I wanted to check on you,' he said while staring at the ground. 'I'm sorry,' he added and he lifted his head to look at Keira again.

Keira stared at him. 'Sorry for what?' she asked while using the back of her hand to dry her eyes. Her mascara was now smudged and a few black stripes marked her cheeks.

Seb chewed on his bottom lip, thinking over what best he could say. 'I'm sorry for upsetting you,' he decided upon. He still wasn't sure what exactly had gotten her in this way, but he had a vague presumption that it had something to do with Hanna and also with something that had happened in the past. He was dying to know what exactly, so he could make sure that it would never ever happen again.

'You don't seem to mind upsetting people,' retorted Keira and she shifted to find a more comfortable position to sit in. The crate couldn't be comfortable at all, but it seemed like she had other things on her mind.

'What do you mean?' he asked. He didn't really get what she tried to tell him, so he moved a bit closer so he was able to look her in the eyes. Those beautiful big green eyes, which were now bleak and red rimmed because of her crying. They were still beautiful though, still the eyes he would choose to look into when he stood on the top step of the podium celebrating.

Keira hung her head again and with a strained look on her face closed her eyes. Her knuckles had gone white from pressing her hands together so forcefully. She opened her eyes again and looked at the figure crouching next to her. 'Hanna,' she said in a fragile voice, showing how much of an effort it was to get that word over her lips.

Now it was Seb's turn to close his eyes, he knew this was coming, even if he wasn't ready for it. 'You need to hear me out,' he started and he made an attempt to grab Keira's hand. She scowled in reply and quickly escaped his fingers keeping hold of her hand.

'You don't need to explain, I know what's going on,' she turned her head back to Seb and a certain determination was visible in her eyes. She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, showing that although she tried to come across strongly, she still was shaken on the inside.

He sighed at that realisation and admired her for always wanting to be tough, although he wanted her to feel comfortable with him again and let her guard down like she had started to do lately. 'I need to explain, there are some things I haven't told you. I know I should have done, but I'm not perfect myself. I wish I was, but spending time with you showed me that the world isn't as big of a scary place as I always thought it was. You showed me that there are still decent people around and that it's okay to show others that you aren't perfect as it shows you're only human. It shows the journey that made me the person I am today and it also leaves space to improve,' he said trying to sound confident. He smiled and hoped that what he was saying made sense.

Keira raised her eyebrows and leaned back a bit. 'Are you trying to say that cheating on someone is alright, because you aren't perfect?' she said sounding appalled. Her face went from blank to horrified and she made an attempt to stand up, to get away from Seb.

'No, no, that's not what I meant,' he almost yelled and he tried to grab her hand again, not letting go this time. Damn it, that was not what he had intended at all. She had completely misunderstood and he had now made the situation only worse.

Panic was setting in and Keira clearly wanted to get away. 'Let go of me!' she yelled.

'Keira, Seb, what is going on?' a voice yelled from the other side of the ally.

They both froze and looked over their shoulder. Minttu and Macy were running towards the pair, as far as running went on heels and they seemed a bit out of breath. Seb quickly shot a glance at Keira, but she wasn't looking at him. She had let out a sigh when the others had turned up and was now pulled into a hug by Macy.

Minttu kept some distance and instead looked at Seb, who was still crouched down. 'What have you done?' she asked suspiciously. She had worked out that Seb was the reason for all of this, although she didn't know exactly why.

Seb quickly stood up and hoped he didn't look too dishevelled. 'I don't know,' he sighed, speaking his mind. 'There are some things that I would like to keep between Keira and myself, but it was never my intention to hurt her. I need to explain to her, but she doesn't seem to understand,' he now almost sounded desperate. Why didn't they understand what he was trying to say?

When Seb had said that he hurt Keira, Minttu went all defensive. 'Seb, what on earth have you done to get her this upset? You haven't done anything stupid, have you?' she had crossed her arms and looked back at Macy comforting Keira.

'I may have done something that I shouldn't have done, but do not regret in the slightest,' he explained, although he knew that it wasn't much of an explanation. He couldn't tell her though, he couldn't betray Keira if she didn't want others to know.

Minttu's expression had gone icy. 'I think you should better go Seb,' she said in the same icy tone.

'But I need to explain,' he tried again and he made a step into Keira's direction, only to find himself blocked by Minttu.

'Not now Seb, you have upset her enough for now. Please go,' Minttu's eyes shot fire and she looked like someone not to cross, far different from her normal demeanour.

He knew he had lost, he wasn't going to win this. 'OK, but please tell her to find me when she has calmed down. Please?' he didn't want to sound like he was begging, although he knew he practically was. He wanted to fix this now, but he also could understand where they were coming from. He could at least be pleased that Keira had friends in the paddock that cared for her, that were looking after her.

When Minttu nodded he turned around, facing the ally again. With one look over his shoulder at the girl he truly loved, he started to walk away.

Keira was still held by Macy, but when Minttu told Seb to go she couldn't help herself and move her head so she could see what was going on. Seb looked broken and she hated to think that she had caused that. Despite that he still looked perfect as ever and although she tried not to notice, her stomach lurched when she looked at him. She wanted to stroke his hair and tell him it was all going to be OK, because this all was making him look so innocent and like he didn't understand what was going on. He did know what was going on, she reminded herself, he had brought this upon himself, not her. She had every right to be upset with him, hadn't she? He had lead her on and cheated on his girlfriend, the girlfriend he had never told her about.

'Keira, are you OK? I told him to go, he's gone love,' Minttu's voice sounded close and she pushed a stray strand of hair back into its place.

'Yes,' she almost whispered. It reminded Keira of Seb, he used to do that all the time. Damn it, why was he still inside her head?

'What did he do to you Keir?' Macy whispered back. She slowly let go of Keira, so that she could look her in the eye.

Keira used the space to take a deep breath and try to fix herself, she probably was looking dreadful. 'It's nothing important,' she tried to hush the question away. She didn't want to include them into her own mess.

'Oh come on Keir, it isn't nothing. You are upset and Seb is also upset and we don't see him upset that often,' Macy looked at Minttu for confirmation and when she nodded looked back at Keira. 'We care about you and you are part of the team, we need to look after you,' she said in a more soft tone and her eyes were friendly and welcoming.

Keira took another deep breath and thought here goes nothing. 'He kissed me,' she almost blurted out and stumbled on the words. She immediately closed her eyes when she heard the gasps from the two girls next to her.

'He _kissed_ you?!' Macy yelled on top of her lungs, making the others thankful that there was no one else around.

Keira nodded, because it felt like she couldn't talk anymore. She still had her eyes closed, because she was too afraid to look at her friends. Maybe they would hate her for that? They should know Hanna and that would make for an awkward situation surely.

'I can't believe he did that,' Minttu didn't yell, but disbelief was definitely audible in her voice. She ran her fingers through her long dark brown hair and she seemed to be deep in thought.

'Me neither,' Macy shook her head and looked at Keira, who was trembling. 'Come here dear,' she pulled Keira into a hug again.

'I didn't know about Hanna until after,' Keira had opened her eyes again and tried to explain. It suddenly all seemed such a long time ago, like it had happened in another life. That feeling of ecstasy and elation had long gone, leaving only the emptiness in her heart.

'Wow, I didn't think Seb had that in him,' Macy whistled through her teeth and still looked stunned. 'But wait, you mean it wasn't tonight that he kissed you?'

Keira shook her head and stared at her feet, feeling uncomfortable to go into details. 'No, it was at the party last race. I only found out about Hanna when I was back home and saw them kissing in a restaurant,' she ended the sentence in a whisper. Her eyes were burning again and she felt fresh tears streak down her face. The memory was too much, it hurt so much to think about that. The moment her happiness had been killed off again.

'Wow,' was all Minttu could answer and Macy seemed lost for words. 'He's a dick, I never thought I would say that about Seb,' Minttu's voice was still filled with disbelief.

'Come on, let's get you back to the hotel. Luckily we're all going home tomorrow,' Macy took Keira's arm and Minttu followed her by taking her other.

That reminded Keira of something. 'Oh no, _oh no_ ,' she groaned and her heart sank. She hadn't thought about that yet.

'What?' the girls asked in sync.

'We are on the same flight home,' Keira sighed and she felt her chest tighten, she wasn't ready to face him again. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever she thought.

'Fuck,' Macy answered, not knowing what else to say.

Minttu however suddenly smiled, looking at the other two. 'You can fly back with Kimi and myself, we only live like 20 minutes apart if I go by the distance from Seb's house. We can drop you off at home?' she asked tentatively, not wanting to say something that could upset Keira any further.

'Would you do that for me?' Keira asked in awe, she would never expected such a friendly gesture. Maybe there were people she could trust after all. It at least cheered her up massively and she pulled the two girls into a hug, she was lucky to have these two looking after her.

'Let's get you back then, I think we can all use some sleep,' Macy announced and without looking back they set out back to the hotel where their beds were waiting.


	55. Implications

The private plane kept Keira's mind off everything and she happily questioned the pilot about everything. It made her feel like herself again and she almost forgot about why she even was on this plane. Almost. They way Minttu kept looking at her every few minutes returned that sinking feeling in her stomach and it made it hard to concentrate on her conversation. The fact that she was on a plane made it impossible to escape the situation and that was frightening her more than she would admit, although it didn't make any sense. Somewhere in the dark corners of her mind a forcefully forgotten memory made its unwelcome return. The fear accompanied by that memory also returned and her body turned cold in response. Closed doors, eyes following her, no way out of the situation, nothing that could protect her.

'Keira, are you alright?' the pilot asked when he noticed Keira's wide eyes and the look on her face as if she had seen a ghost.

'Yes, I'm fine,' she responded immediately, but the way her voice sounded higher than normal gave away that she was not telling the truth.

'We are not going in to land for another 15 minutes at least, so maybe you should lie down for a bit,' the pilot suggested and concern was visible on his face.

Keira was only half focussing on what he was saying, she was desperately looking for a way out. Only whenever she was looking out of the window, the only thing she could see was sky and nothing that would look like solid ground. The door was closed, there was no escape, like so many times before. She felt herself starting to tremble and images of the past turned her vision blurry. Then she was back there, back where she promised herself never to end up again.

A dark room, which she never even knew existed, her bag torn out of her hands and her back slammed against the wall. The voices of other students in the hallway, sounding cheerful and free. Then she felt his hands on her body, needily making their way under her clothes, not caring to be gentle. His body pushed against hers, making it hard to breath being pinned between him and the wall. A button popped from her shirt when it was forcefully opened and it rolled away on the ground, taking her hope of this ending soon with it. His teeth on her breasts, making her eyes well up with tears. A cry from pain when her nipples were next, but a strong hand was placed over her mouth making the sound go no further than her throat. Her skin raw and red from him compellingly rubbing his stubble against all parts of her body, along with sickening words escaping from his lips. Whenever she showed the tiniest bit of discomfort or moving away from what he was trying next, it earned her even more pain. A blow to the head, just there were no one would notice. Nails scratching on her skin, leaving deep red marks her shirt would hide from the world. He limbs bend in ways they weren't intended to, making it hard for her to use them normally during the day. The sound of him undoing his belt, resulting in her to prepare for even more pain and dejection.

'Keira, Keira, wake up!' Minttu's voice sounded far away, but the urgency in it wasn't lost.

Blinking a few times with her eyes, Keira was brought back to the present, although still confused. Minttu's face took shape again and she realised she was on the ground, as the face was hovering above her. She didn't remember how she ended up here, but the cold sweat on her body made it impossible to forget what she had been experiencing just now. She had done so well the last weeks to forget about it all, to get on with her life and be the girl she wanted to be. Now the confidence was lost again, the rollercoaster of emotions she had felt since she had found out the truth about Seb and Hanna had taken its toll on her. It showed her she was still the same girl David had turned her into, the same pathetic girl who wasn't important to everyone.

'What happened? You just were completely out of it,' Minttu grabbed one of Keira's hands. 'You were mumbling things and you're eyes were rolling all funnily, we couldn't calm you down,' she sighed. She pointed sideways to show who she had meant with 'we' and shook her head.

Turning her head did hurt, but Keira wanted to see what Minttu was pointing at. When she did she saw that Kimi was also crouched down beside her, with that same look of concern on his face. Although it was harder to tell because of his inability to really show emotions, but those icy blue eyes were definitely different than the other times she had been in his presence. She suddenly felt embarrassed to be in this situation, being a guest and acting like someone that should be admitted to a mental hospital.

'I don't feel so well,' was all she could come up with and she looked to the ceiling of the plane to avoid their eyes.

'That's obvious, you look horrible,' Minttu responded and she stroked Keira's hand as a way of comforting her. 'Let's lie you down on something more comfortable than the floor,' she continued and she signed to Kimi with her eyes.

Kimi understood the message and before Keira could say anything, she felt a strong pair of arms lifting her from the hard floor, in a more gentle way than she would have expected from him. She was pushed against his warm body and she instantly felt herself calm down, the comfort of having someone's arms around her was worth more than anything. Not that she would admit that to anyone ever, as that would give them confirmation of her weakness. She then felt herself being put down on the soft chairs and gave Kimi a small smile as a way to say 'thank you'. He nodded and they both understood what they intended to say to each other. She now understood what Minttu had been saying about the media showing only one side of Kimi, he indeed had a whole softer side that not many people had the luck to get to know. They way Kimi and Minttu had been interacting with each other, during the weekend but especially on the plane showed her what true love looked like.

'Are you feeling a bit better?' Minttu had taken the empty chair next to Keira and was handing her a bottle of water.

'A bit, thank you. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm just so tired,' Keira attempted a smile to show Minttu that she was alright. She attempted a few sips of water and rubbed her hands against her head. This whole weekend had been awful and she longed to be home, to sleep for days without waking up.

'I know, don't think about it just now,' Minttu shushed and she let Keira drop her head on her shoulder. 'Go sleep for a bit, maybe that will make you feel better,' she planted a kiss on Keira's head and made herself comfortable in the chair. When she turned her head to look at Keira she noticed that her friend was already sleeping. She exchanged a smile with Kimi and then closed her own eyes.

\----------

She had thanked Kimi and Minttu profusely and they had kept saying that it had been their pleasure, that she was always welcome to tag along. Minttu had kept texting after they had left, that is was no problem for her coming over is she needed her. It made Keira realise that Minttu had become a friend, although they didn't know each other that long yet. It was still weird that she was Kimi's girlfriend, but when she was together with the two of them it was a lot less weird. Although she knew she probably wasn't going to need Minttu to come over, it was reassuring to know that a friend was living close by. Like Seb.

Her eyes flew open, and she bit her lip. Seb. She had managed not to think about him for the whole time she had been laying down, until know. Bloody hell, why did it feel like being hit by a brick when she did? He stomach tightened and an uncomfortable feeling spread through her body. She subconsciously scoured her memory to find the image of the bluest pair of eyes she had ever seen. They calmed her down, if it was in real life or in her head, they just did. She felt her breathing steadying again when she had closed her eyes and pretended that Seb was there, for her. In her thoughts he was wearing a figure hugging white shirt, a pair of tight pale blue jeans and a jacket loosely wrapped around shoulders. She knew what was hiding underneath that shirt and suddenly wished for it to be gone so she could see his toned muscles. The sun was illuminating his face, resulting in his hair looking almost golden and his eyes reflecting the sunlight making them stand out even more. His smile however was what was drawing her attention, that broad smile showing his perfect white teeth and making his whole face lit up with joy. So simple, but oh so perfect. She wanted to be close to him, feel that perfect body close to hers and press her face in the curve of his neck. Taking in that familiar smell of mint and petrol, while running her hands along his body up to his hair and losing herself in his touch.

Fuck, she went from not thinking about Seb to fantasising about Seb. That was no good, no good at all. Shit, what was wrong with her? She suddenly sat bold upright on the sofa she had been laying on since her return back home. He duvet she had carried downstairs to sleep on the sofa fell off and she suddenly felt small and exposed. If everyone could see her like this, tear stains on her cheeks, uncombed hair, smeared make-up on her face and stupidly fantasising about someone she would never have. She started to laugh, it was all very funny. Just when she seemed to have her life on rails again there had been thrown an obstacle on the rails causing her to derail again. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be happy? She picked up the duvet from the floor and closed her eyes again, trying to escape from the world for the millionth time.

She woke up from noises outside and although feeling disorientated she sat up to look what had woken her. When she had walked over to the kitchen window she could see the neighbours children playing outside. They had drawn a line on the road with chalk and two pedal cars were lined up behind it. A third one was laying on its side only a metre from the line and the child still inside it was bawling his eyes out. He had clearly jumped the start of their little race and was now paying the price for it. Keira smiled to herself and it reminded her of her own youth, luckily for the little boy his mother hurried out from the house and was now comforting him. The other children were now also coming over to cheer him up and within no time he was smiling again. His mother returned the pedal car to the start and helped her little boy get in again. Keira noticed herself cheering for the three young boys when a little girl had waved a self-made flag to signal the start of the race. The race was painfully slow, but the joy on the faces of everyone involved made that insignificant. She smiled when the boy who won jumped out of his car and ran around in circles yelling until he was dizzy. Maybe life wasn't so complicated after all, there was always joy to find in the small thing. All she had to do was chase these small things.

Her encounter with the children this morning made her decide it was time to leave the house, get some fresh air to clear her mind. Although she knew it always helped, she often couldn't get herself to do it. However seeing that little boy trying again after he failed, with as much determination as possible was a kick up the backside for her. It was not like she had to be with other people, she just needed a change of scenery and some vitamin D. She knew exactly where she wanted to go. She had considered going to the café, but she wasn't up yet to be questioned by her old colleagues about how life was going. They had been so excited when she had told them about her first race as Seb's performance engineer and had ended up spending several hours in the little cafe. She wasn't up for that right now and the chance of running into Seb or Hanna was also too much a risk as she didn't trust herself to act as a normal human being.

It was quiet on her way to the lake, despite it being a beautiful day. The fact that the holidays were over was probably to blame for that, only the children who were too young for school were outside. Also a few senior couples were enjoying the last days of summer, which stung a little bit as they looked so happy and fully focussed on each other. Showing her how love should be, how desperately she was hoping to find someone who she would be happy with until she was grey and old. Despite that nagging feeling she was able to appreciate all that life had to offer and how lucky she actually was. Despite not having someone decent to spend her life with, she had a great family, awesome job and the best friends she could wish for.

The lake was as breathtaking as she remembered and when she set foot on the banks she immediately felt the peaceful surroundings making her feel at ease. She sought out her favourite rock and tried not to remember the occasional occupant of the rock next to it. The sun was shining high in the sky, illuminating the trees and reflecting on the rippling water. It was a scene you would see on a postcard and she was very fortunate to see it in real life. She opened her bag an took out the book she had brought with her. Her intention was to spend the next couple of hours here, until it was time to go home. The sound of the rippling water was almost hypnotising and within no time her book engulfed her completely, making everything around her disappear. However, the tears escaping from her eyes betrayed the illusion that she had coped with everything.

Time ticked by, the only occasional sound was that of a bird, a page being turned or a sniffle. The person walking up to Keira was so quiet, that if you didn't know he was there you wouldn't notice him. If it was intentional or not, he seemed very determined albeit the nervousness visible in his body language. He seemed to second guess his decision to come here and made an attempt to turn around, but then stopped walking to turn around again. His eyes were focussed on the girl sitting on the rock, clearly having his undivided attention. However, the air seemed no longer clear and welcoming, it was now vibrating tension and a cloud shifted so it was now hiding the sun, taking away the comforting feeling of the clearing.

They boy was now standing behind the girl, clearly debating his actions. After a few moments he took a deep breath and spoke. 'Can I talk to you?' he asked the girl, before sitting down on the rock next to her.


	56. Heartache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's been a while! I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to update, but I've been so busy since I came home from Ireland. I still am, so I won't be updating as frequently, but I try to keep on writing. This chapter was one of the hardest to write, but I hope you'll like it :)

She recognised that voice, she would always recognise that voice as she was sure that she could never forget it. Hearing it breaking the silence, without any warning, sent shivers down her spine. A lonesome tear fell down on the page she was reading, leaving a mark on the paper that was reflecting how she was feeling on the inside. His voice had cut right through the walls she had built up again and it had hit her right there where it hurt the most: her heart. She felt her heartbeat quickening and a tightness in her chest made it difficult to breath. She didn't dare to look sideways, she was too afraid that when she actually saw him it would hurt too much.

'I need to talk to you, please,' Seb began again. His voice was surprisingly soft, despite the importance of his intentions. However his eyes had became lustreless, there was no hint of the usual twinkle and it looked like he hadn't slept for days.

With her eyes focussed on the ground she tried to hold herself together. 'Please, leave me alone,' she almost whispered and she wasn't sure he had heard her. She couldn't bring herself to repeat it though and concentrated on counting the stones that were laying at her feet.

'No, I can't. I have done that long enough and I can't do it anymore. I need to explain everything,' he responded after a short moment of silence. His voice sounded more certain this time and it was clear that he wasn't giving up that easily.

Keira screwed her eyes shut and focussed on her breathing. 'Just go, please. I know everything, so there's no need to explain,' she said while another tear ran down her cheek. 'I just want to be alone, please,' this time around it sounded more like pleading. She desperately wanted to get out of the situation, but she knew Seb would be able to follow her wherever she would go. Why did he have to be here? Of all the times she had been here alone, he had to be here too when she wanted to be alone the most.

A sigh was audible in the otherwise silent place. 'You don't know everything, there's so much I haven't told you yet,' Seb looked at his hands and was visibly thinking things over.

'I figured them out on my own, so you don't have to spend your energy on explaining things,' she almost interrupted him, thinking of all the things she had found out about him. About Hanna. About him and Hanna. Her shoulders dropped and she buried her face in her hands, she didn't want to think about it anymore.

'I don't think you know everything, just listen to me. If you still hate me then, that's fine, I just want you to know why I acted the way I did,' he had lowered his voice, as if he was afraid someone else could hear them. His blonde hair was messy, but instead of that normally making him more attractive, it now looked like he had been neglecting himself. It was tangled in knots and the shine that often made his hair look golden in the sunlight had now turned into a dull reflection of the lack of care.

Something deep inside her was thinking his words over, while her head told her to ignore his words and don't let him talk her into things she didn't want. She was torn between her feelings and her level-headedness, because somehow she was interested in what he had to say. Maybe there indeed was a good explanation for it all, despite the unlikeliness of that scenario. On the other hand, despite maybe there being a good explanation, it didn't change anything how he had made her feel. He hadn't trusted her, he hadn't thought her trustworthy and that hurt a lot. The whole confusion of the situation made her head spin and without being able to stop it, tears were leaking from her eyes again.

Suddenly an arm was put around her shoulders and she instantly froze. What on earth was he doing? She tried not to move, but when he put his second arm around her and pulled her close against his  body she couldn't stay put. She tried to get free, to get him to move his arms, but he wouldn't budge. Trying not to panic she looked up to his face for the first time since he arrived, to somehow make him to let go of her. When her eyes reached his face, she stopped breathing for a moment. He looked a mess, almost unrecognisable as the good looking guy he was. She swallowed with difficulty and couldn't tear her eyes away, she even forgot why she had looked up in the first place. She was unable to miss the hurt displayed on his face and when they locked eyes she was taken aback even more. The bright friendly blue eyes reminding her of mysterious undiscovered oceans had turned into pale dark pools of sadness sunken into his sockets. It seemed like he was staring right through her and that broke her heart, at least the pieces that were left unbroken.

She felt the anger slip from her body, relaxing her muscles and she stopped fighting his arms. It looked like he needed this as much as she needed it herself, although she didn't want to admit that. She noticed her self-control subsiding as she leaned into his embrace, taking in how good it felt to have his arms wrapped around her body. She knew it should make her angry, despise him for doing this, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was feeling too comfortable, too familiar, too safe to let go. She laid her head down on his shoulder, burying her face in the curve of his neck, just like she had imagined doing a few hours back. He still smelled like himself, despite him looking so dishevelled and it was soothing her instantly. Her hands made their way around his waist and she hold him so tight that it was like she was trying to make it impossible for him to get away. Not that he made any intentions to get away, it just felt necessary to do so. She was too afraid of losing him, although she knew that you couldn't lose something you don't even have.

They stayed like this for a period of time both couldn't point out how long exactly. For Keira it felt like hours, hours of perfect bliss, like she was there where she belonged. The softness of Sebastian's skin, his clothes and the little movements he made with his hands to comfort her were everything that she ever longed for. He had rested his head against hers, his nose in her hair and his eyes closed, hiding the feelings that where visible for everyone who looked into them. Everything else around them had disappeared, all that mattered was holding each other like this, not thinking of what would happen when they let go. Whenever he touched her skin the flock of butterflies in her stomach erupted again and a little smile had broken through on Keira's face, there was no doubt that her feelings towards Seb hadn't changed.

When a bird flew over their heads, making a loud noise which echoed between the mountains, they were awoken from their trance and broke apart. Suddenly both a little shy they didn't know where to look as an invisible wall had been build up between them, making them both increase the space separating them. The warmth of Seb's kin was suddenly lost and the coldness it was replaced with made Keira shiver, it also brought back real life. Being held by Seb had made her forgot about everything and that made the sudden return of the unpleasant memories even worse. She longed for his touch while on the other she wished he would just disappear. It tore her heart apart feeling such opposite things and when she looked at Seb she knew from the look in his eyes that he wasn't going away. He looked a bit better though and she felt the urge to tell him it was all going to be alright, but Hanna was probably better in cheering him up though.

They sat in silence again, until Seb could no longer take it. 'I still need to explain. I have been dishonest with a lot of people, so it's my turn to tell the truth about everything. I especially owe it to you,' he said with his eyes fixed on the banks of the lake. His right hand was wrapped around his other wrist and that hand was turning white from the lack of blood as he was squeezing so hard.

With a little shake of her head she turned to look at Seb again. 'I think you mean Hanna, not me,' she let out with a puff of breath, trying not to sound bitter. She couldn't hold a grudge towards Hanna, she was the innocent party in this all.

Now it was Seb's turn to look at Keira and a pained look had appeared on his face. 'I have already spoken to Hanna, but still it is you I owed an explanation to the most,' he said and he hoped that with looking into Keira's eyes he could make her believe him.

'Why?' she asked with raised eyebrows. From her perspective it was clear who was the biggest loser in this situation, but she had to admit that she was surprised that Seb had talked to Hanna in the first place. Maybe that was why he was looking like a mess?

'Because you are important to me,' was his answer after he had taken a deep breath. The look of determination on his face was the same as when he prepared himself to go into his car before a race. It meant determination and that he wasn't giving up until he had reached his limits of taking control of the situation.

She couldn't help herself and huffed before letting out a hollow laugh. 'And Hanna isn't?' she said incredulously. He was talking rubbish, what was he getting at?

Seb rubbed his eyes and looked even more tired than before. 'Of course she is, I'm not a monster,' he sounded deflated, but he wasn't going to let misunderstanding creep into the conversation.

She decided to ask him the question she had wanted to ask him for a long time, since the time she had seen them together, as she wanted to hear the confirmation from him. 'Have you been together with Hanna all this time?' she said, unsure of herself and unsure if she wanted to hear his answer.

His shoulders drooped and he looked down while bowing his head. He bit his lip while his hands grabbed the cold surface of the rock he was sitting on. He hesitated before he spoke, dodging Keira's eyes which were searching his out. 'Yes,' was the short and honest answer. It had evidently been difficult to get these words past his lips and he looked up to the sky to avoid having to see Keira's reaction.

'Of course,' she muttered while trying to control her breathing. She knew what had been coming, but it still hurt as much as when she had found out for the first time. Hearing it out of his mouth made it definite, it couldn't get more real than this. Now she was sure that she hadn't imagined anything.

Tearing his eyes away from the bird he had been watching Seb suddenly looked into Keira's eyes. 'I'm sorry.'

New burning questions were now flooding her mind and she hated to see the guilt that was visible in his eyes. 'Are you living together?' she then asked, making it sound like she was asking him about the weather.

He swallowed with difficulty after hearing that question and he ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on one of the many knots. 'I can't deny that,' he said quietly and he shook his head as if he couldn't believe it himself.

She controlled the feeling to throw up, but fresh tears were welling up. She couldn't believe it, the sickening feeling in her stomach messed with her ability to think straight. 'Then why did you kiss me?' she asked bluntly, throwing all caution to the wind. She needed to know, she didn't think she could go on if she didn't know why. Why he had messed with her head so much, why he would do something stupid like that.

His eyes definitely were waterier than just a few moments ago, but with a few blinks he was able to control himself. 'I couldn't resist any longer,' he spoke in clear words, leaving no room for Keira to misinterpreted him.

Hearing him say this out loud felt like he had stabbed her heart with something very sharp. Why did he have to say this? Why couldn't he just say that he had been drunk and she was there, so it had been easy to mess up? Knowing that it had been a conscious decision made it all so much worse, it showed her that she hadn't been imagining things and that it all had been real. She couldn't stop the tears from coming and was sure that the lake would burst its banks from the amount of tears she was producing. Why did it have to hurt so much?

'I'm sorry,' Seb said dejectedly again, clearly not able to think of something else to comfort her.

'Do you love her?' it had escaped from her lips, before she could think. She didn't want to hear his answer, not in a million years. Although she needed to know, she had to know. While she wanted to look away, she found her eyes staying fixed on Seb's face, wanting to see his reaction.

Hearing the question he had feared since the conversation had started still hit him hard. The heartbroken look on Keira's face was too hard to look at, making his insides turn from guilt. How did he end up hurting her this much? After all he knew about her, the broken girl he had came to know during this past months. Having seen her change from the closed, afraid and hurt girl into this funny, happy and more confident girl. He only knew a bit of her past, that she had been physically and mentally abused, but she had never told him the details. For how long, who did it and why it had stopped now for example. He was only thankful that he had been part of her journey to get to who she was now, or better said who she had became before he had messed things up. He himself had stupidly thrown it all away by crossing an invisible border, a border he perfectly knew existed. The only thing he hadn't known was how Keira would react and it was very clear now that there were a lot of old wounds that he had brought to the surface again. He had made his own desire get more important than her feelings and he hated himself for that. Why did he had to throw the friendship they had away, why hadn't he been able to control himself?

The look of hurt, fear and sadness in her eyes hit home harder than he could explain. Those beautiful green eyes were looking at him showing the question why he had let her down. If he could take it back, he would have done immediately. Without him noticing she had became the most important thing he had and now he had pushed her away. Hanna had always occupied that role, but Keira had showed him what love really was. He still loved Hanna, of course, but it was more like a friend now. It probably had always been that way, but they both hadn't recognised it as they both didn't know any better. He debated if he should dare tell Keira that he loved her right now as well as that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He was scared that he would upset her even more and that he would then lose her forever. He felt so helpless and he didn't know what to do, why did everything have to be so complicated?

Keira spoke before Seb had made up his mind on what to say. 'That was a stupid question, of course you love her,' she said in strange voice, with an unnatural smile on her face. Her eyes were wide and unfocussed, while her hands had started to tremble. A silent tear fell down her cheek and all the blood had gone from her face, leaving her as white as a sheet.

Fuck, this was not what he meant at all, he should have said something sooner. Why did he have such excellent skill in screwing things up? 'No, that's not what I was going to say,' he half yelled at her, unable to control what he was doing. What was he even doing? He didn't know, the only thing he knew is that he wanted to hold her in his arms again and bring back a smile on that beautiful face. He never wanted to let her go, never again.

With a sudden movement and still that abnormal smile on her face Keira stood up, leaving her swaying unbalanced as she had used all her energy during the conversation with Sebastian. 'I understand, I really do. I wish you a happy life together,' she said while she stuffed the book she had been reading into her bag. When she had swung the bag around her shoulder she turned around, intending to walk away.

'Wait! Let me explain, please. You are everything to me, can't you see?' he was pleading and he didn't care. As long as she wasn't walking away, he couldn't let that happen, not again.

She turned around, her eyes red rimmed and a hollow expression on her face. 'Safe your words for Hanna, because they are lost on me,' she sounded very clear and she had given up trying to look happy. The tiredness had taken over and she looked like a shadow of her former self. With a swift movement she showed Seb her back again and with quick steps she made her way to the opening in the trees. Within a few moments she had disappeared, leaving a shattered Sebastian behind. 

He felt his body fill with disbelief and kept staring at the space in the trees where the girl his heart belonged to had escaped to. How had he been able to make the situation worse? He had tried so hard, but it was clear that there was much more going on with Keira than he had expected. Even trying to explain to her why things had happened in the way they had happened had been impossible. It left him feeling even guiltier, as he had hoped that it would make her feel better if she knew the whole situation. He dropped his head into his hands, making it possible for the sun to illuminate his face. Something small and silver slid down his face and reflected the sunlight beautifully, until it fell down and disappeared when it became one with the water it touched.


	57. Silence

Days had gone by since their encounter at the lake. Keira had expected Seb to try to get in contact with her, as he always did, but it had stayed surprisingly silent. She didn't know if that was because he was angry with her for not giving him a chance to explain, if he wanted to give her space or if he had given up on her. Not really caring which of the options it was, she was only glad that he had been leaving her alone. Despite coping marginally well, she knew that if she heard his voice or saw his face she would be back at square one. She had spent hours on the phone with Abby and even Macy and Minttu had been in contact with her to check on her. She also spoke to Tom of course, although their conversations were more about the sport than her broken heart.

The only problem she was facing right now was that she was waiting for Macy and other Red Bull personnel at the airport in Korea. She didn't know when Seb would arrive, but he could show up in front of her at any moment. It made her nervous and she checked her watch every few seconds to check if it was almost time for Macy to save her from this situation. She knew she had no chance to avoid him this weekend as that would be a bit weird for his performance engineer, but she wasn't ready to be faced with him just yet. Her eyes kept darting around the area to spot a flock of blue people, but so far she hadn't had any luck. She was just checking the time again when she was almost knocked off her feet.

'I'm sorry, I didn't see you there,' the excuse sounded genuine. A hand was stretched out to Keira to stop her from falling.

Still disorientated and confused by the situation Keira looked up to the face of the stranger to find out what was going on. When she spotted who it was she was between shock and relief. It still was weird to be confronted with people who she watched racing on TV when she was younger, as they always seemed so unreal and far away. On the other hand she had talked to him a few times already, so she wasn't so shocked as she had been the first time.

'You're name is Keira, isn't it?' he smiled and the Australian accent was as thick as ever.

'Yes, I'm sorry for being in your way, I'm just waiting for a few others,' Keira tried to explain herself, although she didn't know why she was apologising for just standing somewhere. Here brain was not really catching up yet apparently and she could only focus on that sharp jaw line.

'Nonsense, I just hope nobody has seen it. Otherwise they would blame me for sabotage,' he chuckled and put one of his hands on Keira's shoulders.

'Ah well, I will keep my mouth shut and don't tell Christian,' she smiled back and put one of her bags on the floor.

'Even if I suddenly win this weekend?' he stroke his chin and gave Keira a dubious look, although his eyes were twinkling.

'Surely you're not that bad for a number two driver?' she answered with a grin on her face. She swept her hair over her shoulders and tried not to laugh at the look on Mark's face.

With a shake of his head the corners of his mouth lifted. 'I see Seb has been rubbing off on you, such a pity,' he almost sounded disappointed.

'I think that's bound to happen when you spent so much time with someone,' she answered. Then suddenly her face dropped when she realised what she had said. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and the familiar sinking feeling in her stomach suddenly returned.

'Are you alright?' Mark sounded concerned as he had spotted the change in Keira's behaviour.

While plastering a smile back on her face she looked back up to him. 'I'm fine, just tired from the long flight. I'm not used to those yet,' she answered trying to sound cheerful.

'I'm doing these flights for over half my life and I'm still not used to it,' Mark let out a puff of breath and sounded more tired than before.

At that moment Keira heard someone shout her name and when she turned around she spotted a beaming Macy running into her direction. That caused the first genuine smile of the day and she hugged Macy back when she had wrapped her arms around her neck.

'Hi Mark,' Macy greeted the Australian when she let go of Keira. They also hugged and despite Macy being from Seb's side of the garage, they seemed to go on pretty well.

'She used to be on my side of the garage,' Mark explained when he spotted the quizzical look on Keira's face. 'She's a bit of a traitor, aren't you?' he nudged Macy while grinning.

Macy scoffed in reply and pushed him away. 'At least Seb's a gentleman,' she shot back at him. That resulted in an angry glare from Mark. Macy didn't seem to notice or didn't care at least, she picked up her bags again and turned back to Keira. 'Are you coming? The others already went to the van, so we should hurry.'

'Are you also coming?' Keira asked Mark who was now looking his happy self again.

Macy let out a laugh. 'No, he's got his own driver. He doesn't want to be seen with us plebs,' she grinned while ignoring Mark's words of disagreement. She blew Mark a kiss and turned around towards the exit.

Mark was shaking his head again. 'Don't listen to her. She may be small, but she's evil,' he chuckled and he scratched his neck.

'I'll see you around then,' Keira was just able to say goodbye and wave before she was dragged away by Macy.

\----------

There he was, standing in the Red Bull garage, as handsome as ever. Keira considered turning around and leave the garage quickly before being noticed by him. However before she could decide a pair of blue eyes had noticed her presence in the garage. Even from this distance she could see the sadness hiding in those and it felt like being kicked in the stomach. The urge to walk up to him and wrap her arms around him suddenly occurred and she had to remind herself that he had a girlfriend to stop herself. That sweet blonde girl who was always so nice to her when she worked in the cafe. She couldn't get that image out of her mind and broke the eye contact she still had with Seb.

She was glad that at that moment Rocky came up to her and she quickly had forgotten about Seb, because there were a lot of things that needed her undivided attention. She was not going to let Seb interfere with her job and she wanted to show Rocky that she was as dedicated as they all expected from her. She didn't notice the hours going by until the sun started to disappear and cover the track in the most beautiful sunset. After she had finished up she quickly said goodbye to everyone in the garage and gathered her stuff so she could go back to the hotel. She decided to take one last look at the track before the cars would break the silence the next day.

When she left the garage she felt the last rays of sunlight illuminating her skin and with a satisfied smile she made her way over to the pit wall. She put her bag down on the ground and tried to find the spot where she would have the best view on the track. The track was deserted, unlike a few hours back when everybody was doing their track walk. She followed the vast asphalt with her eyes and imagined the cars flicking past at immense speeds. It helped her to clear her thoughts and it gave her an opportunity to appreciate how much she loved to be part of the Formula 1 world. Only a few people where still walking around and nobody really paid her much attention.

She didn't know how long she had been standing there and when a sound woke her up from her thoughts she noticed that the sun had almost completely disappeared. It also had cooled down quite significantly and she shivered as a result from that. She almost jumped in surprise when suddenly a jacket was wrapped around her shoulders.

'You looked cold, so I thought I would bring you a jacket,' was the explanation Keira got for the sudden act of kindness.

She didn't have to look behind her to figure out who had been the kind stranger, that German accent stood out anywhere. She sighed and tried to ignore the sudden resurgence of the butterflies in her stomach. She grabbed the jacket with her hands and wrapped it around her so it would keep her warm. The familiar scent of Sebastian filled her nostrils and she knew it must have been one of his own jackets. All she could do was shut her eyes and focus on something else, although she wanted to give in to her feelings so badly.

'I'm sorry if I disturbed you, I'll leave you alone again,' Seb said in a soft voice. He shook his head when he turned his back on Keira and prepared himself to return to the garage. His slumped shoulders were evidence of his feelings and defeat was written on his face.

'Stay,' was the response that suddenly broke the silence that had fallen again.

The almost silent voice of Keira would have gone unnoticed by a lot of people, but Seb had heard that tone many times before. He stopped walking and slowly turned around to make sure he hadn't been imagining things.

It had slipped from Keira's tongue before she could stop herself and she felt her heart pound as a result. She should have let him go and listen to her head, but she couldn't get past how defeated he had sounded. He had just brought her a jacket, something not everyone would have done and she should just be thankful for his kindness. It hadn't meant anything else, it was just a nice gesture. She still had to work with him, so it was important to not completely alienate herself from Seb.

Seb had turned around again and was now uncomfortably standing a few feet away from Keira, not really knowing if he could come any closer. Keira on her turn leaned back against the fence and didn't know anything to say as she was still battling the internal struggle in her head. It was only after a minute staring at each other that Seb decided on what he wanted to do and he positioned himself next to Keira against the fence.

Their shoulders touched and that immediately send a shiver down Keira's spine, her hands started to tremble and she could only focus on how good it felt to have him close again. Despite the darkness setting in his face still looked like it was illuminated by the sunshine and his golden hair was framing his face like that of a Greek god. He was so stunningly beautiful that she was surprised that she had never fully appreciated that. His long lashes were the perfect addition to his ocean blue eyes and his soft looking pink lips were the most kissable she had ever seen. She had almost stretched out her hand to cup his face and let her fingers stroke the short stubble that looked recently trimmed, but she caught herself just in time.

Seb was now looking at the track as Keira had done before he had approached her. 'I'm not here to say anything, I just want to know you're OK,' he said with a calm voice and his eyes were focused on the grand stands which were positioned opposite from where they were standing. He had wrapped his fingers around the metal framework and didn't look back at Keira to see what her reaction would be.

She took a deep breath before answering and focussed her attention on a guy form the Sauber team walking by. 'I'm alright,' she answered after a moment of silence. She didn't know how else to answer that question, because she couldn't put into words how she actually was feeling.

With his eyes still staring into the distance it wasn't clear if he had heard what Keira had said. It was only when he tore his eyes away from the track and looked back at Keira that he responded. 'I'm sorry, I really am,' he began and he seemed suddenly nervous. He had put his hands into his pockets and he looked down at the ground.

Hearing these words should have made Keira feel better, but it only caused another twinge of pain. 'Just leave it, don't say anything else,' she quickly said before Seb could think of something else to say. She didn't want to hear anything else, she just wanted to leave things how they were now. She didn't want to get another reason to work herself up about, another reason to break more pieces of her heart, another reason to feel her heart ache because of what could have been.

Another silence filled the air and Seb sucked his bottom lip between his teeth while a pained look took shape on his face. He seemed to be in thought and he ran his fingers through his hair as if he was frustrated. He screwed his eyes shut and let out a long puff of breath before looking up at the sky. He looked lost and with the pale light illuminating his face he suddenly looked ten years older and like he was coming down with an illness.

Keira could no longer take it and grabbed one of his warm hands. It immediately felt like sparks were flying through the air and her fingertips were tingling which caused a stir in her stomach. The surprise on Seb's face and the wide eyes accompanying that made for a small curve of her lips. She laced their fingers together and couldn't get past the fact of how perfect it felt. The squeeze Seb gave in reply made her insides burn with anticipation and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

Seb reacted by lifting his arm and resting their joint hands on his chest, while he searched for Keira's eyes with his own. His steady heartbeat was almost audible in the cold evening air and it seemed like the both had forgotten their surroundings or where they were. Seb took a step closer to Keira and their bodies were only inches apart, but it was clear that Seb tried to keep his distance. His eyes told a whole different story though and the pain that caused him was readable in his body language.

It was Keira who closed the distance between them and she rested her head on Seb's shoulder, while she made sure that her hand was still on Seb's chest. His heartbeat always calmed her down and this situation was no exception. She took a deep breath and her favourite smell of evening air provided the oxygen to her brain that she needed. A feeling of pure bliss suddenly took over and when she closed her eyes she felt so at ease that she didn't dare move to break that trance. She felt Seb wrap his other arm around her shoulder and carefully pulled her closer so her head was now resting in the curve of his neck.

Seb pressed the lightest of kisses on Keira's head and used his thumb to stroke her arm as a way of comfort. 'I massively screwed up, I'm so sorry Keir,' he almost whispered when he put his nose in Keira's hair. 'I wish I could do it all differently,' he added and the emotion could be heard in his voice.

With a heavy heart Keira freed herself from Seb's arms and tried not to let the coldness that was now taking over her body get to her. She quickly wiped away a tear that had been glistening in the corner of her eye so that Seb wouldn't see it. 'I need to go,' was all she could say and even that took a lot of effort because of the lump in her throat. She took one last look at Seb when she had picked up her stuff and with a sinking feeling left a desperate looking Seb behind.


	58. Birthday

They both hadn't brought up their encounter yesterday evening at the track and Keira could almost convince herself that it had never happened. She was actually in good spirits, although she didn't want to admit to herself that was because of her thoughts constantly going back to the moment that she was safely held by Seb in his arms. She told herself it was because they were looking good for the second practice session. The first one hadn't been that spectacular as Seb had been forced to stay in the garage the first half of FP1 because he thought there was something wrong with the car. In the end he had finished the session in fifth and they were sure they could improve on that this afternoon. Therefore everyone sitting in the Red Bull motor home eating their lunch appeared cheerful and positive.

'Hi, can I sit down?' Minttu suddenly made an appearance and pointed at the chair next to Keira.

Keira looked up in surprise and smiled when she spotted her friend. 'What are you doing in the Red Bull garage? Has Kimi switched teams without me knowing?' she joked and she cleared away the papers she had been reading so that there would be space for Minttu.

'I wish, then he would at least win something again,' Minttu sighed and she sat down in the empty chair. She looked as elegant as ever and she put the sunglasses she had been wearing in her hair.

'I hope they'll build him a fast car next season,' Keira said compassionately and she shot her friend an encouraging smile. 'But why are you here? Has Kimi kicked you out again?' she asked while grinning.

Minttu poured herself a glass of water and seemed to debate what she was going to say. She had her eyes focused on the water and tapped her nails nervously on the table.

Keira rolled her eyes and grinned. 'Just spill it,' she instructed Minttu.

Minttu still seemed uncomfortable and she was dodging Keira's eyes when she spoke. 'Kimi's birthday is next week and we wanted to go out for dinner tonight to sort of celebrate in advance. I wanted to invite you, so that's why I'm here,' Minttu said, although a bit more rapidly than she normally would speak.

Keira didn't understand why Minttu would have been nervous to invite her. 'And?' she asked when it didn't look like if Minttu was going to explain any further.

'Oh well...,' Minttu started and she finally looked directly into Keira's eyes. 'I invited Macy as well, but Kimi of course also invited Seb,' she finished her sentence and she looked definitely relieved to finally get out those words.

Ah, that was the problem. Seb was coming too and that meant spending an entire evening in close company of him. Minttu and Macy knew what had happened and were also not Seb's biggest fans at the moment. She could understand Minttu's hesitation for asking her, as she indeed wasn't sure if she wanted to come if Seb was going. Although she wouldn't be going for Seb of course, she would be going for Kimi and especially for Minttu. Why did Seb have to make everything so complicated? She just wanted to have a care free night and have fun with her friends and she wasn't sure if that was on the cards now. On the other hand she had been getting along with Seb today just fine and he had made no attempt anymore to talk about anything different than what was required for their jobs.

'So? Do you want to come?' Minttu checked when Keira had only stared into the distance and had not reacted at all.

She had almost forgotten where she was and when Keira looked up she had made up her mind. 'Only if we're not going to bring up the subject at all. Kimi doesn't know anything and I would like to keep it that way. Also I don't want to ruin everything with my problems. Seb and I have been civil with each other, so I think it'll just be fine,' she said and she made sure she sounded determined and confident. The truth was that she wasn't any of that, but she wanted to come across strong and not show how everything was still affecting her. No one knew about her encounter with Seb last night and she knew it was best if it stayed like that.

With a sigh and a disapproving look on her face Minttu filled her glass again. 'I'm not sure if I can keep my mouth shut. I want to know why he cheated on Hanna and why he played with your feelings like this. He can't just act like nothing has happened and continue on like before he chose to screw everything up for himself, but especially for Hanna and you.'

Keira felt panic starting to rise inside her body and she suddenly got very hot. 'You have to promise me, otherwise I won't come,' she said in an alarming tone. What had happened was done, she couldn't change it, so it was no use reliving it over and over again. She didn't want to know the answers to these questions yet and she liked to keep pretending that everything was just like it had been before it all had changed. She knew that wasn't possible when the image of David popped up in her head, confirming that leaving everything behind would almost be impossible.

'If that's what you want,' it didn't sound that convincing, but Minttu nodded as a confirmation for Keira's request. She leaned back against the back of her chair and fixed the skirt of her dress so that she looked as immaculate as she always did. Her lips were pressed together though and it was clear that she wasn't convinced at all by Keira's request.

Keira sighed in relief and put her hands in the air. 'Thank God, yes, that's what I want. I don't want to make it all worse,' she said in frustration. Minttu didn't know about David, about how things could get worse very quickly and what Seb did really mean to her after getting her through that period.

Minttu put her hand on Keira's arm and smiled. 'Don't worry, it's going to be alright,' she said in a soft voice and it seemed like she finally understood what was asked of her. She put her sunglasses on her nose and rose out of her chair. 'I'm heading back now, I need to be back before Kimi has insulted the entire team again,' she laughed, although some despair was visible on her face when she remembered a previous occasion. She kissed Keira goodbye and with a few waves to other team members she walked out of the Red Bull motor home.

\----------

The good feeling the team had had for the second practice had been confirmed when Seb had ended the session on top with Mark in second place. The fact that Fernando was third had brought a small smile to Keira's face, although she had made sure no one else could see that, especially Seb. Stop, why should she be bothered by what Seb was thinking at all? She wasn't his girl, Hanna was his girl, therefore she couldn't care less how he was feeling about her being happy for Fernando. She knew how Fernando was always able to get on Seb's nerves, but it wasn't her job to keep him focussed, he was wise and old enough to do that himself. Fernando had been perfectly polite these last days and he had came up to her to chat more than once, without making any cheeky suggestions at all. She had been surprised at that, but it showed her another side of Fernando and she found herself increasingly enjoying spending time with him. Maybe she didn't need Seb after all.

'They are late,' Macy remarked when she checked her watch. She and Keira were already on their first drinks and had sat down at the bar, to wait for their friends.

Keira turned around and flicked a glance at the entrance. 'That's not like Seb, he's always on time,' she said when there was still no sight of Minttu, Kimi or Seb. She suddenly felt worried, what if something had happened to Seb?

'In contrast to Kimi, poor Minttu,' Macy smiled and she crossed her legs while taking a sip from her drink. 'I bet he wanted to finish watching that hockey game, Minttu told me he acts like a child when his team is playing,' she grinned and she rolled her eyes. She too looked at the door, but still no sight of their friends.

'Maybe she is making him wear something nice,' Keira suggested with a twinkle in her eyes. She was thinking about the story Minttu had told her yesterday that Kimi hated to be told what to wear, especially if that meant wearing things like a tuxedo. According to him they were 'too tight' and he apparently hated bowties as well.

Macy chuckled and she opened her handbag. 'Then we can start dinner without them, because they wouldn't turn up before tomorrow,' she said while she rummaged through the small bag. When she had found the lipstick she was looking for she quickly applied a new layer and pouted her lips at Keira. 'How do I look?' she asked.

'Is Jenson coming along by any chance?' Keira joked and she gave her friend a thumbs up, to confirm it all looked fine.

Immediately Macy's cheeks flushed pink and she looked around if someone had heard them. 'No, he isn't,' she said defensively.

The corners of Keira's mouth quirked up when she saw her friend getting flustered. 'Just checking,' she said nonchalantly. She knew that Jenson wasn't coming, but it was so easy to wind Macy up by just dropping his name. They still weren't officially 'dating', but whenever Macy was missing, Jenson suddenly was too. They did a good job in hiding it though, she at least hadn't heard any rumours yet.

At that moment the other three missing guests made their way into the restaurant. 'We're here,' Minttu unnecessarily yelled from across the entrance and waved while a grumpy looking Finn was trailing her.

However, Keira only had eyes for the person next to the couple. A timid looking Sebastian was blankly staring into space, while his shoulders were slumped and his skin pale. He looked totally different from his focussed self when he had been in the car all day. She was startled to see how much difference a few hours could make and was suddenly concerned why he was looking this way. She could see the sadness lingering in his eyes, even from this distance and she got a sinking feeling from watching him. When their eyes crossed, Seb averted his eyes and looked down, clearly not at ease with the situation. They hadn't spoken, work stuff aside of course, since last night and the way she had left things had clearly had a large impact on Seb. Not that it wasn't the same for her, it had taken all her strength to let go of Seb and make the responsible adult decision that clearly both of them were struggling with. Only thinking about Hanna had made her able to let go of Seb, but her heart was still aching when she thought about last night. How could something that felt so perfect be so wrong at the same time?

'Come on, let's sit down. This one has been complaining that he's hungry for over an hour now,' Minttu sighed when she had reached the two girls at the bar. She winked to the waiter and when he came up gave him the details of their reservation.

Both Macy and Keira picked up their drinks and followed the others to their assigned table. The politeness of the Korean people shone through again when the waiter pulled out the chairs so everybody could take their seats. Macy was set at the head of the table, while Kimi and Minttu sat down next to her. Which left Seb and Keira to sit opposite of each other. When they both figured that out they anxiously looked at each other, both afraid that the other would oppose. Keira was first to sit down and smiled weakly at Seb to in some way make it clear that he could do the same. The both seemed to miss the telling look Minttu and Macy exchanged as well as the way Kimi seemed to frown when he observed his friends. However, nobody dared to comment on what was going on, so they all stayed silent. Keira only dared to look up when she was sure that Seb wasn't looking and it seems it was the case vice versa.

They ordered more drinks, although to Kimi's disapproval alcohol free for the drivers of course, and when they arrived it was Macy's idea to sing Kimi a birthday song. So after some discussion between Seb and Macy and a toast, they decided a simple song would do. When they all sang the first words of 'Happy Birthday' other people in the restaurant turned their heads to see who were singing so massively out of tune. They didn't care though and the way Kimi's expression was still stoic, he didn't mind as well.

'We didn't bring you presents though, because it's not actually your birthday,' Macy explained when they had finally stopped damaging people's eardrums.

Kimi shrugged his shoulders. 'It's OK,' he said and he looked pitiful at his water.

Seb noticed and grinned. 'Although we stocked up the Vodka supply in your plane, so you can start celebrating when you fly back.'

Everyone snorted and even Kimi shot Seb a smile. 'You can fly back with us if you want. To watch you drinking Vodka is always one of my highlights, so that can be my birthday present,' he grinned and he leant back in his chair.

'That's not fair, you always make me drink more than I want and then start asking me all kind of stupid questions,' Seb defended himself and he looked accusingly at Kimi. 'I can tell as many funny stories about you when you were drunk Räikkönen, so be careful,' he added and he pointed warningly at his friend.

'You can tell them all about me running around naked in the streets, I don't care,' Kimi shrugged with a half smile playing on his lips. 'You on the other hand, you care about your perfect Golden Boy reputation,' he smirked and he picked up the bottle of water to pour himself another drink.

They all laughed, especially after seeing the mortified look on Minttu's face when Kimi once again had started talking about being naked. Also the look of exasperation and anxiety on Seb's face had people amused.

Keira had tried to focus on anything else but Seb and was now trying to follow the story Macy was telling about that one time Seb and Mark had been drunk and Mark had also ended up somewhere without any clothes. Needless to say that Ann, his partner, hadn't been too amused by that. However, people talking about being naked and Seb being involved in that story had her quickly thinking about how Seb would look completely naked again. She had seen him in his underwear, and since then this had been a regular thought. He had teased her when he had undressed himself right in front of her and she wished she had been bold enough back then to undress him completely. Wait, what? No, she couldn't think things like this. She immediately felt herself burn up she didn't dare to look up, what if Seb was looking? She cursed herself for letting her thoughts get out of hand once again and she was glad that at that moment she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. A distraction, thank God.

She grabbed the phone from her pocket, it was probably Abby or Tom who wanted to know how today had gone like they usually did. So when she looked at the screen to see who it was, her eyes widened and her heart stopped. She suddenly couldn't breathe and it felt like she had been punched in the stomach. No, no, no, this wasn't happening. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and fear gripped her heart, this couldn't be true. Her hands were trembling and her vision was getting blurry, she tried to breath but she felt herself getting dizzy. The phone slipped from her hands and she could vaguely hear voices surrounding her, but she could only focus on the fear taking over her body.


	59. Again

The sudden intake of breath had grabbed his attention and when Seb looked up he saw an expression of horror written on Keira's face. He could see tears glistening and especially the flicker of fear that suddenly  was visible in her eyes frightened him. The colour had drained out of her face and when he followed the direction of her gaze, he witnessed the phone dropping out of her hands. Fear was crossing her face and she screwed her eyes shut, while it looked like she had difficulties breathing. He was alarmed by this, because he didn't know what was going on. When he looked across the table he saw that the other's hadn't noticed anything yet, as they were still engaged in their discussion about which driver was often the drunkest. That meant it was all down to him, he couldn't keep his distance and leave her like this.

He stood up from his chair and made his way around the table to kneel down next to Keira. He wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. She didn't resist and when he felt his shirt getting wet he noticed she was sobbing. The others had now also noticed something was going on and they looked alarmed at him, clearly demanding answers. He shook his head and pressed a finger against his lips to tell them they shouldn't say anything and that he wasn't going to explain right now. They seemed to understand, although all of them didn't exactly know what to do. Macy was poking her food without any enthusiasm, Minttu was looking at Keira with concern and Kimi was quietly eating his chicken.

He himself didn't know what to do, the only things he could come up with was to stroke her hair and whisper words of comfort to sooth her. It hurt his back to sit like this, as he was twisted in a weird way, but he didn't dare move. He also noticed other people looking, but if Keira needed him, he had promised himself he would be there for her. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head and tried not to let out a sound of pain when she dug her nails in his chest. She grabbed the fabric of his shirt with her other hand and it felt like she was afraid that he would let her go. He responded by pressing her even closer against his body and that's when he spotted the abandoned phone laying on the table. He hesitated for a moment, because he wasn't sure if it would be a breach of her privacy if he would look at it. He needed to know though what had upset her this much, if he could do anything else to calm her down. Although he was still indecisive, he reached out for the phone.

**Unknown - I saw you on TV today, it looks like you have forgotten to tell me something. It would be a shame if something happened to that pretty little face of yours, right? Just remember you can't hide forever love, we both know we belong together.**

He got a bad feeling when he read the message, this didn't sound good, it didn't sound good at all. He stared at the screen, trying to make out what it meant. It clearly was someone threatening her and according to her reaction is must be the same person who had hurt her before. His eyes lingered on the last few words 'we both know we belong together,' because it told him what he had always expected. She had never wanted to talk about it and he had never dared bringing it up, but clearly her ex-boyfriend had been responsible for all the bruises. It made him shiver, because he knew they had lived together and the idea that she didn't even had a safe home to escape to made him angry.

He looked down at the girl in his arms and tried to imagine what she had been through, but he also blamed himself for letting her go back to England when he could have kept her safe in Switzerland. He had somehow made himself believe that she would be strong enough to take care of herself and that it wasn't his place to interfere in her private life. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain in his back. He couldn't blame himself, that wasn't fair. They hadn't been close back then, they had only drank a coffee together. He couldn't have done anything, he had been a stranger to her. He kept wishing it had been different though, maybe he could have prevented at least some of her injuries, like that one in her face. His stomach tightened at the idea that someone had deliberately punched her in the face and he was sure that he hadn't even seen half of her injuries. The fear in her eyes when she had read the message made him feel sick, because that amount of fear is only caused by someone who doesn't have any limits to get what he wants.

The shaking of Keira's shoulders lessened and she let go of his shirt she was still holding tightly in her fists. She slowly sat back up again and looked at him with her red rimmed eyes, displaying hurt he had never experienced himself. He stretched out his arm and cupped her face, wanting to tell her that she didn't need to be afraid, that he was there for her. He himself tried not to be afraid, because he understood what it meant for Keira receiving that message, he was not letting her go. He was glad that at least they were in Korea at the other side of the world, but an uneasy feeling settled inside his stomach. He had a certain idea what this guy was capable of and he didn't like that at all, Keira wasn't safe. The horrible feeling that realisation brought with the combination of Keira looking at him with all the colour drained out of her face made him want to throw up. Panic started to spread through his body and the urge to pull her into an embrace again and never letting her go was getting bigger by the second.

Keira wiped her tears away quickly and averted her eyes when she noticed a lot of people staring at her. 'I'm sorry,' she almost whispered and she wrapped her arms around her own body, as a way of protecting herself from what was going on around her.

It broke his heart, she didn't need to be sorry for anything. She almost looked like a small and fragile bird who had fallen from its nest. He exchanged a few looks with the other occupants of the table and they all wisely kept quiet. 'Come on, let's go. Let's get you back to the hotel,' he said when Keira didn't respond to him trying to get her attention again. He stood up and held out his hand, waiting for her to come with him. A pair of frightful eyes looked back at him and it was almost like if she was in another world. Without saying anything she grabbed his hand and let him pull her out of her chair. She was just able to grab her bag and half-heartedly wave at the others, before he could lead her to the exit.

\----------

They were almost back at the hotel, although Keira hadn't really noticed them going there. She had just walked, letting Seb guide her and had tried her hardest to get that message from David out of her head. She had blocked his number and that had been sufficient all those weeks. He hadn't contacted her at all and she was convinced that it had all been over, that he had finally seen some remorse and was letting her get on with her own life. Clearly that wasn't the case now, because if he had made the effort to get a new number, he meant business. She knew how persistent he could be, how he would go to any lengths to get what he wants and that was scaring her immensely. She had thought it all had been over, that she had escaped that part of her life. She had been feeling so much better, but receiving that text had brought back all these feelings she had been able to push aside. The feeling of fear was the worst of all, because it made her numb and she couldn't think straight anymore. Images of a laughing David popped up in her head, him laughing after he had punched her in the face and she felt herself getting dizzy again. She was so dizzy that she couldn't stand on her legs anymore, the world seemed to spin and she wasn't sure what was up and what was down.

A pair of strong arms were suddenly put around her shoulders and it prevented her from tumbling over her own feet after not being sure how to walk anymore. A voice was audible in the cool evening air, but she couldn't make out what was being said. She just let these arms hold her up and guide her to wherever they were going. It was only when she felt herself being pushed down on the cold wood of a bench, that she was able to get connected with the world again. She opened her eyes and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Seb kneeled down in front of her, with a concerned look on his face. She tried to smile at him, but it didn't go much further than a weak curve of her lips and she wasn't sure if Seb had noticed.

He put his hands on Keira's knees and searched out her eyes before he spoke. 'I'm not sure what to say,' he began with his soft voice and he bit on his bottom lip when he tried to think of what to say. 'I hope you won't be angry with me, but I've read the message on your phone,' he said sounding a tad unsure and it was clear that he was nervous what Keira's reaction would be. 'I know who it is now,' he added when he averted his eyes.

Keira's eyes widened and she could feel her heart starting to race. Fuck, so he had read it. She wanted to be angry with him, for reading personal stuff, but somehow she was also a bit relieved. It had been on her mind so many times to just tell Seb, to tell it was David who had done this to her, but she always had been too afraid to share. Too afraid of David finding out someone knew or him finding out about her new life. She shook her head and without realising a joyless laugh had escaped her lips. It was a little bit too late for that now, David already knew what she was up to and he had reacted so much worse than she had expected, or better said, hoped. She could see that Seb was still looking anxiously at her and she put her hand on one of his hands that were still resting on her knees. 'Don't worry about it, you were bound to find out at some point,' she said while trying to sound like she wasn't too bothered by the situation.

Seb blinked with his eyes, clearly not having expected this reaction. 'I know I shouldn't have done it, but it had shocked you so much and I just wanted to have an idea what was going on,' he explained while he looked at Keira's fingers now enclosing his own, 'I just wanted to help.'

This caused a genuine smile to appear on Keira's face, the look of innocence and concern on Seb's face showed her why she liked him so much. The way he was now stroking her hand with his thumb in a way to sooth her was exactly something David never would have done. Thinking about David shot another shiver down her spine, but the fact that Seb was sat down here with her prevented the fear that would normally be caused by that to get to her. Seb made her feel safe, like he always did and that was more than she could ask for really. She never wanted this comfort to end, but she knew that when Seb was gone, the suppressed feelings would come back again. That's why she wanted to enjoy this moment as long as it lasted, even if it meant sitting on this uncomfortable hard bench. When she looked up Seb's and  her eyes crossed and she couldn't miss the warmth it caused to spread through her body. He might have been playing with her feelings, but she was certain that Seb was a good person deep within.

After a few minutes had past where they just looked at each other, Seb cleared his throat. 'I'm sure you don't want to think about this right now, but has something like this happened before? Has he been bothering you previously?' he asked and he squeezed Keira's hand as a way of comfort.

She knew this question was coming, but she still wasn't prepared to hear those words tumbling from Seb's lips. Her heart was pounding and different kind of memories were flying through her head. 'No,' she answered while she tried to ignore the freshly brought back memories. 'Yes,' she then sighed and she slumped back against the back of the bench. 'Not after we broke up, but he has been harassing me like this before,' she admitted and she might have squeezed Seb's hand a bit harder than she had intended to.

'When did this happen?' he asked and the concern was audible in his voice. His eyes were still focussed on Keira's and it seemed he didn't mind in the slightest that the blood in his hand had disappeared because of her tight grip.

She took a few seconds to remember exactly when while trying not to remember the feelings accompanied by that as well. 'In Switzerland,' she then answered, 'when I came to visit my parents there without him.'

Seb sighed and he hung his head. 'I should have protected you then,' he said and he looked angry with himself. He was still kneeled down, but he almost lost his balance when he started to curse in German under his breath.

This made Keira smile and she felt a bit of weighed lifted from her shoulders. Some things never change, Seb definitely didn't. It was still the cutest thing ever to hear Seb curse in German and forget he was speaking in English. 'There was no way you could have protected me then,' she said while the remains of the smile were still lingering on her lips. 'No one could prevented him getting drunk, I tried many times before, but he wouldn't listen,' she explained and her expression changed to grim again.

'He's a drunk?' Seb asked and he raised his eyebrows, clearly not having expected this bit of information.

Keira closed her eyes and then opened them again. 'I've denied that for a long time, but yes, he is. It only got worse with everyday that passed and without me keeping him in control, it was even worse,' she said and she tried not to think of all the empty liquor bottles she would find in the house, despite David's efforts to hide them.

It seemed Seb was thinking about something and his eyes were focussed on a bird that was picking up crumbs from the ground a few metres away from them. 'So, was he always like this, or just when he was drunk?' he asked, alluding to the text and the behaviour that was implied by it.

'Luckily only when drunk,' she said and she also focussed her attention on the bird looking for food. 'Although I'm not sure luck is the right word,' she continued, 'as the fact he was a good person while not being intoxicated made it very hard to get out.' She almost whispered that last sentence as she knew she had been nothing but a coward. Tears were welling up in her eyes and despite her best efforts it didn't take long before they were rolling down her cheeks.

Without saying anything Seb got up, with the necessary noises of pain because of sitting in an uncomfortable position for so long, and sat down next to Keira on the bench. 'Hey, it's not your fault,' he said softly while he put an arm around Keira's shoulder and pulled her close.

The feeling of being close to Seb again caused a twist in her stomach and she tried not to lose herself again in that feeling of comfort and bliss. 'It is my fault though,' she countered Seb.

'Feelings and emotions are very complicated things, sometimes you know what's best with your head, but your heart tells you something else. That's nothing to be ashamed about, everybody suffers from that. Also, being hurt by someone is never your fault, people should never hurt someone else on purpose,' Seb sounded determined, but sadness was also audible in his words. He drew circles on Keira's skin with his right hand and it seemed that he was talking about much more than only Keira's situation.

She knew he was only saying these things to make her feel better, but it did actually make her feel a bit more positive. She also had a feeling Seb was alluding to different things, as his voice had cracked a bit at the end, but she didn't dare ask more about it. She also thought she couldn't handle much more this night, so she just closed her eyes and focussed her attention on the regular heartbeat and breathing of Seb. It didn't take long before she felt her eyelids getting heavier and she stopped fighting the urge to stay awake. The only thing that was still on her mind were the arms wrapped around her, making her feel the safest person in the world, at this moment at least.


	60. Hotel

When Keira woke up the next morning she couldn't even remember how she got back to her hotel room. Her head felt uncomfortably heavy and when she rubbed her eyes they were feeling puffy. She didn't understand why she felt this bad, but when she closed her eyes again images of the night before started to flow back into her head. A feeling of panic was rising again and she was glad that there was nobody else in the room to see her. David. That was all she could think about, he had found her and she was sure he wasn't going to let her get away again that easily. She knew she had to tell her friends, as they could maybe also become a target now and deep down she knew that it was only fair to tell her friends as well. They had been such a great support and without them she surely would still be with David, they had done so much for her.

When she turned on her side to grab her phone, her eyes caught a piece of paper that was laying on her bedside table. Curiously she stretched out her arm and grabbed what turned out to be a note. She recognised that handwriting immediately and her heart started to beat faster. Her lips curved into a smile when her eyes followed the lines that were written down, her nerves were fading away slowly and when she was done reading, she kept staring at the piece of paper in her hands.

_Hi, it's me, Seb,_

_I'm not really sure what to do, so that's why I'm writing this. At this moment you are sleeping, with your arms wrapped around the second pillow and that looks rather adorable. However, that's not what I wanted to say. I'm not even sure what I wanted to write to be honest, but I couldn't just leave without saying anything. You were in such a state this evening and even getting you back to here took some effort. When you fell asleep on me on that bench outside I didn't want to wake you, so we sat out there for quite some time. I froze my butt off, but that doesn't really matter of course. You said all kind of things in your sleep, but I couldn't make any sense of it, other than that it probably weren't very nice thoughts. I don't know if you remember anything from last night, or if you want to remember, but you don't have to worry about David. I'll be here to protect you and I won't let him get close to you, even if it's the last thing I have to do. Also, I'm sorry that I had to put you in bed with your clothes on, but I didn't want to wake you. I've carried you up the stairs and I was sure you were going to wake up then, but you slept through that amazingly. Finding your key in your bag took some time, why do women always have so much stuff in their bag? Anyway, I'm glad you're sleeping now. I could watch you sleep forever, you know? Wait, that sounded creepy, forget that. I just want to be sure you're ok, to be there if you need me. Oh well, I'm going to end this now as it's late and I don't make any sense. I hope you feel better when you wake up in the morning and I'll see you at the track._

_Love,_

_Seb_

He was such a dork and that's why she loved him. Even without knowing who had written the note, she would have known instantly, nobody else just wrote down what he was thinking like Seb. With a sigh she put down the note and turned her head to the window. It seemed like it was going to be a decent day today and she was glad that within in a short time she could focus her attention on work again. When she was working she barely had any time to think about something else and she could really use that right now. She picked up her phone to see what the time was and she was surprised that it was still very early. For some reason she had woken up before her alarm, but it was too late to go back to sleep now, she was already awake. She also saw she had received messages from Macy and Minttu, but she wasn't ready yet to deal with them. She would read them later and then deal with them when she saw them, she knew she owed them an explanation. Maybe it was time to come clean with her past, even thought she was afraid the girls would start to treat her differently. She ran her fingers through her hair and then stretched her back, while looking across the room. It being this early meant that back in the UK it wasn't even midnight yet, so it was worth a try to see if Abby and Tom were still up. They had all gotten a Skype premium account, so they could video call with each other, as that was the closest they could get to hanging out with each other nowadays.

'Keira!' was the first thing Abby yelled when she accepted the call. 'Why are you up this early?'

Another voice filled the room after that. 'Yeah, go back to sleep idiot,' Tom grinned and he waved at the camera as a way to say hi.

Keira shook her head and chuckled. 'It's nice to speak to you again as well,' she said. She picked up the laptop and walked back to her bed. She puffed up her pillows and sat down with the laptop on her lap. She had missed her friends.

Abby rubbed her eyes, clearly looking tired. 'How are you doing? Are they also trying to kill you by making you work too much?' she asked while trying to suppress a yawn.

'Luckily not, although the busy part of the weekend will start now of course. If we don't deliver today I have to work all night I guess to figure out where it went wrong,' Keira explained.

'Man, I wish my job was that exciting', Tom replied and he looked rather jealous. 'I mean, I like my job, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing something important. You know?'

'You can come help me build some airplanes,' Abby said jokingly. 'Airplanes are more interesting than cars anyway,' she added with a devilish smile.

This resulted in a lot of protest from Keira and Tom of course and Abby started laughing. This was something they often did. One of them would mention how cars were better than airplanes and vice versa, they never could settle who was right though. When they were done arguing Abby got the others up to date with her work at Boeing and what else she had been up to in life. Apparently she had gotten a new neighbour and if Keira had to believe her he looked a lot like Rupert Grind.

'You know that gingers don't have a soul, right?' Tom interrupted Abby explaining why exactly he had caught her eye.

'Excuse me?' Keira raised her eyebrows and looked at her friend who was now smiling.

'Oh Tom,' Abby began and shook her head, although it was clear that she was trying to stifle a laugh.

Keira looked at her screen and the corner of her mouth lifted when she noticed Abby rolling her eyes. 'You know this joke is really getting old,' she sighed.

'You're not a real ginger anyway, it's closer to brown,' Tom shrug his shoulders. 'And it keeps being funny if you still take the bait every time,' he said and the twinkle in his eyes showed he was enjoying teasing his friend very much.

'At least it wasn't a threat this time,' Abby said with a grin on her face while she cocked her head to one side. She took a sip of the tea she had been holding in her hands the entire time. She pulled a face when she noticed it had gone cold already.

A threat. Keira could feel her stomach drop. David. She had already forgotten why she had wanted to speak to her friends in the first place. She was painfully brought back to the present, she could forget all she wanted about it, but that wouldn't get rid off the problem.

'Keir, are you alright? It looks like you've seen a ghost,' Abby's eyes looked worried and a frown was visible on her forehead when she had spotted her friend's eyes widening.

'Yes,' Keira responded automatically. That's what she had gotten used to, so it had slipped out before she had really thought about it. With hesitation she looked down at her hands, her fingers nervously gripping the worn blanket. 'No,' she said and her voice barely filled the room.

'What? I couldn't hear you,' Abby's appeared closer to the camera, she clearly had tried getting closer to her computer to try and hear what Keira was going to say.

'I said no,' Keira responded and her eyes were fixed on the blanket she was still holding tightly. The faded red colour made it look more pinkish, it reminded her of her youth, when her parents always bought her pink things. The innocent kid she had been back then had disappeared a long time ago, she now knew that the world was one dark place.

From the screen two pairs of worried eyes were looking at their friend, both faces showing signs of concern. 'Keir, what's going on?' Tom broke the silence that had fallen. It almost looked like he was afraid of what was coming. It was clear that nobody who was taking part in this conversation had forgotten what had happened in these last few months.

Keira mulled over her words, trying to decide what the best way was to tell her friends. On one side she was dying to pour her heart out, but on the other side she was ashamed. Ashamed that she needed her friends so badly, that she wanted them to comfort her, that they would tell her everything would be ok. She was tugging so hard on the blanket that the old fabric finally started to give way. The tearing sound didn't even register in Keira's head, she had a hard time focussing her thoughts and facing her friends. Even though they knew about David, knew what he had done to her, she still felt anxious to explain what was going on.

When she accidentally ripped almost half the blanket in one tug, she was brought back to the present. She looked at the two halves in her hand and she saw it as a symbol. David was one side and she was the other side. She had ripped them apart and all that was left were two sides that would never fit together anymore. She studied the signs of violence that the pieces showed, just like she had done after she had been able to get away from David and the parts now just looked useless. She kept staring at the two halves in her hands and the more she looked at it, how stronger she felt the relief of having been able to break away.

She lifted her head and looked straight at her friends. 'David sent me a text last night,' she began. Her voice was fragile and she held her breath when she spoke. She could hear the gasps of her friends, but she wasn't able to respond. Not only the memories of David flooded back, also those of a certain blonde guy who was kneeled down in front of her, holding her hands and comforting her with his soothing blue eyes. Without realising it she bit her lip and she felt her heartbeat slowing down again while the tiniest glimpse of a smile made its way to her face.

'Please tell us what he said,' Abby broke the new formed silence and her face looked as white as a sheet. The signs of tiredness had disappeared and her knuckles were white from squeezing the tea mug so firmly. She made eye contact with Tom and the way they seemed to understand each other gave away that they had expected something like this to happen.

Keira swallowed and ignored her stomach tighten painfully. 'Just what you would expect really. He has found out where I work now and he said something along the lines of that we belong together,' she began and she felt tears welling up. The next part was more difficult than she had expected to admit. She lowered her voice and focussed her thoughts on a memory of a cheeky smile and blonde curls. 'He also said that it would be a shame if anything happened to my pretty face, or something like that,' she concluded.

Tom stood up from his chair and he looked as angry as being shocked. 'I'm going over, he clearly needs a talking to,' he said with his voice raised.

'No!' Keira and Abby yelled together. Keira knew Tom's impulsivity too well, it had gotten him into trouble more than once during their time at University. He could go from the funny and one of the calmest guys you know, to someone who's overcome by emotions the next. She didn't want Tom to be involved in this, especially because she knew what David was capable of.

Tom looked at them both and his eyes had gone dark. 'Why not? That piece of shit deserves to get the same shit in return,' he said through gritted teeth while he was struggling to keep his composure.

'It's not worth it,' Keira sighed. She appreciated that her friend wanted to do this for her, but like she said, it wasn't worth it. 'I'll deal with it, don't worry about me. Seb has said he will protect me,' she added with a weak smile.

This grabbed the interest of her friends. 'Oh?' Abby had raised an eyebrow and the worry had made place for curiosity. She knew what the deal was between Keira and Seb, so she seemed surprised to hear Keira had confided in Seb to share such personal information.

'I'm still angry with him,' Keira wanted to make that clear first, 'but on the other hand he's the most caring person you'll ever meet. When he's with me I feel safe, I feel seen and I feel cared for,' she said, while she hesitated to say the last few words. 'Everything is so fucked up,' she almost whispered and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She noticed her fingers were trembling and a joyless smile played on her lips. She couldn't remember her life being a bigger mess than that it currently was. She didn't know what to feel, what to do and the longing to be back at University with her friends grew larger by the moment.

At that moment Keira's phone started to ring and her laptop almost fell off her lap when she leant over to her bedside table. When she checked the callers ID a wide smile spread across her face. She paused for a second but then answered the call. She repositioned the laptop and signed to her friends that she needed to take this call.

'Hey there, I wanted to check in on you,' sounded from the other side of phone.

A warm feeling spread through her body when she heard that voice. 'I'm fine, thanks for asking,' she responded. She leant back against the wall and looked at the window where the morning sun started to creep through.

'Did you read my note?' Seb asked.

Even though she couldn't see him, she could hear the slight uncertainty in his voice. She knew exactly how his face must look right now as he always furrowed his brows when he wasn't entirely sure about something and he would suck his bottom lip between his teeth. She chuckled, he looked absolutely adorable when he did that.

Seb had heard the slight chuckle. 'What's so funny?'

'You,' she replied straight away. 'I mean, nobody else would write a note like that. Also, my handbag isn't that bad at all! I can always find things right away.'

Now it was Seb's turn to laugh. 'Really? You think it's necessary to carry around a travel guide of Norway, tea bags, four mascaras, a woollen hat while it's not even winter and three pairs of socks?' He sounded amused. 'I mean, seriously?'

'Ok, maybe you've got a point,' she agreed reluctantly. She never really thought about what was in her bag, she just knew where everything was. However, now when Seb summed it all up, it indeed sounded a bit excessive. She made a mental note to clear it out when she was back in Switzerland. 'Although the socks in fact are very useful,' she added in an attempt to justify it to some point, 'and the tea bags.'

'You British people and their tea,' Seb sighed, 'if there's one thing that you would save from a fire, it's your tea.'

Keira's lips curved into a smile when she heard the lack of understanding in his voice. 'Careful boy, calling someone from Northern Ireland British is very risky,' she smirked.

Seb groaned in a way that could only mean he was rolling his eyes as well. 'I can't keep up with your identity,' he replied. 'What even are you?'

This time Keira couldn't suppress a laugh and she was sure Seb was running his fingers through his hair, like he normally would do when he was annoyed at something. 'Welcome to the confusion of my country. Let's just say I was born and raised in Ulster, but I don't particularly feel more connected to the British than the Irish.'

'Yeah, that clears up a lot,' Seb said sarcastically. 'Just apply for Swiss nationality, makes things a whole lot easier.'

'Don't you have better things to do?' Keira retorted as she looked at the clock. She was playing with her hair and enjoyed the sunlight that was now illuminating her face.

Some unclear noises escaped Seb's mouth. 'I have some torture sessions planned with Heikki,' he then said rather unenthusiastically, 'I was trying to escape them.'

'Ha, as if you ever can escape Heikki,' Keira chuckled. 'He would have been an excellent private detective.'

Seb clacked his tongue. 'If he had only chosen for that career,' he sighed. 'Oh well, I have to go now. I see you later at the track. Although, if I don't return, you know why,' he said jokingly.

'I'll remember to send Heikki a thank you note then,' she replied in her sweetest voice and she hung up before Seb could respond. With the biggest smile on her face she threw the phone on her bed.

Keira had totally forgotten about here two friends, until one of them spoke up. 'I didn't even have to ask who that was when you picked up the phone,' Abby smiled and she looked at Keira endearingly.

'Why?' Keira raised her eyebrows and picked up the glass of water that was standing on her night stand. While she took a few sips, her thoughts were already back at Seb.

Abby looked at Keira as if this was clear as day. 'They way your eyes lit up said enough. Pair that with that smile that hasn't left your face once since he called, it was pretty obvious.'

Blood flushed to Keira's cheeks and she suddenly felt a burning desire to pull the blanket over her head and be invisible. She had thought that it had been a very casual conversation, or hoped at least, but she should have known that her friends could read her like a book.

It was Tom who put everyone's thoughts into words. 'I've never seen someone more in love than you are right now.'


	61. Repeat

 'Guys, excellent job!' Christian Horner had made his way from the pit wall to the garage and was shaking hands with everyone.

'That was a close one boys,' Adrian Newey added to that when he appeared from behind the team principal. He slapped Christian on his back and it was obvious they couldn't be happier with the 1-2 for the team in qualifying.

The garage was filled with happy faces and some of the team members were still looking at the screens to see the drivers lining up their cars in parc fermé and climbing out to get weight. A few mechanics rushed out of the garage to take care of their cars when they got parked in the pit lane and others were already starting to pack up.

'Thanks for not screwing this up, I much prefer it when we don't have all these sulking grown men around us,' Macy had made her way over to Keira who was still sitting on her chair where she had been all session.

Keira looked up from the sheets with data she had been studying and stretched her arm out for a high five, which Macy enthusiastically answered. 'Seb's not going to be happy though,' she answered while she rolled her eyes. She couldn't hide a smile though, as Seb was super adorable when he was annoyed.

Macy grinned and jumped on the chair next to Keira. 'I can't blame him though, it was so close. He was first in Q1 and Q2, so naturally you expect to be first in the last session as well,' she said. 'To make it worse, it being your team mate who beats you to pole is even worse,' she added.

Their conversation got interrupted when the whole garage started clapping, so they turned around to see what was going on. They already knew without looking though, as it had became a tradition to clap when the pole sitter entered the garage. Keira noticed that Mark looked extremely smug and she knew exactly why. From what she had heard around here Mark often didn't feel as loved as Seb in the team and he had been quite vocal about that in the past. So to out-qualify Seb must feel immensely satisfying. He looked even taller than he already was when he walked around to thank everyone for the results.

Keira's eyes then spotted a second figure entering the garage and he as well was congratulated by the team. A smile spread across her face when she saw Seb getting the recognition he deserved, even though she could see the disappointment linger in his eyes. Suddenly their gazes locked while being on opposite sides of the garage. Feeling embarrassed by the way her heart jumped because of that she felt blood creep up to her cheeks. Apparently Seb could see that from this distance as he raised his eyebrows and then winked, causing Keira's cheeks to feel even hotter than they already were.

Macy in the mean time looked quite unsure, she could see what was going on between them and instead of cracking her usual jokes about everything, she kept quiet. Deep down Keira knew why, but she wasn't able to make herself care about why exactly at this moment. Whenever Seb was around a kind of fog appeared in her head and caused all kind of trouble when it came to decision making and remembering what has happened before this moment. The only thing that stood out clearly where his bright blue eyes and the way his soft pink lips curved when he smiled.

'Keir, what are you doing? You'll only get hurt,' Macy had leant into Keira and she almost whispered these words. Not that it was needed with the buzz that was still present in the garage.

Keira turned her head towards her colleague and could see the pleading in her eyes. She swallowed and fixed her eyes on the floor. 'I don't know what I'm doing, but even then I don't know how to stop,' she answered. If it was up to her, she would have gotten up and run away, grabbing Seb's hand in the process and drag him along. Not possible of course.

She ignored the way Macy was looking at her and pulled her phone from her pocket. Three new messages. She hadn't even felt her phone vibrate. They were from Abby and Tom of course, but even her father had send her a message. She smiled, he was the one that had introduced her to Formula 1, so it was very special to share this experience with her father. He had just texted that he was proud of her and that without her Red Bull would have qualified last. She chuckled, she knew that wasn't true, but still it felt good to hear her father say it.

'If you could have come up with a better plan, I would have been on pole.'

She looked up from here phone and almost got lost in his eyes. That twinkle got to her every time. It also showed that he wasn't accusing her of anything, just teasing her. She loved that, the way he teased her. Nobody was allowed to do that, but for some reason she didn't mind if he did it. Hell, she even liked it.

'Well, if you just had driven a little bit faster you would have been on pole,' she retorted and shot him her sweetest smile. She tried her best not to laugh at her own joke.

For a second the smile disappeared from Seb's face, but he recovered quickly. 'Well, if you had made sure the car had a better set-up, I would have been able to,' he said while he high fived one of the mechanics that walked past them.

'Mark did alright though with the set-up he got,' Macy chipped in into the conversation. She tried to look innocent, but Keira could see that it was maybe more meant as an insult than a joke.

'Too bad he can't do that more often,' he winked at Macy and then turned his attention back on Keira.

'You seem a lot more cheery than I expected,' she admitted and she started to gather her papers.

He shrugged his shoulders. 'Oh well, I out-qualified Fernando and Lewis starts in between us. So it could have been a lot worse.'

'Like Fernando rear-ending you tomorrow,' Macy had gotten up from her chair, but clearly couldn't let this one go. She was biting her lip when trying not to laugh at the expression that had appeared on Seb's face.

Seb didn't even know what to respond and when he seemed to finally have thought of something, Macy had already disappeared.

'She got you,' Keira grinned as she put the last of her stuff into her bag. It wasn't as organised as she would like, but it'll do for the day. She would have to look at some more data tonight anyway.

Seb sighed and closed his eyes for a second. 'You'll never know what to expect with her,' he said and he followed her movements with his eyes. 'She's been like this the day she arrived at the team, she scared quite a few of the guys,' he huffed while he remembered that time.

'She's awesome though,' Keira defended her friend. Yes, she was very close to being an unguided projectile, but she was always straight forward and honest, what Keira admired in her. Sometimes she wished she could be more like Macy, not being held back my self-doubt and fear to fail. She slipped of her chair and looked around if she had forgotten anything.

'Not as awesome as you, though,' Seb whispered in Keira's ear and he had taken a step to get closer to her. They were both leaning against the table now and for an outsider it would look like a casual conversation, but they both knew it was far more than that.

Keira was sure that her face now could be mistaken for a tomato and she quickly looked around the garage to see if someone had noticed. Of course they hadn't, because everyone was busy packing up already. The freight needed to be flown out as soon as possible, which meant that as soon as the cars crossed the finish line, the garage turned back to life with pieces of cars and furniture scattered everywhere. Although the place was full of activity, Keira could only focus on one thing. The way Seb was looking at her right now, while slightly biting his bottom lip and even if she wanted to look away, she knew she couldn`t. Her breath caught in her throat when Seb stretched out his hand and with visible affection put back a strand of hair behind her ear. The delicate touch of his fingers on her skin made her shiver and although the moment was brief, it felt like it lasted for hours. She closed her eyes, to try and recall the moment and a warm feeling spread through her body. Only the sound of a phone ringing brought her brutally back to the present.

'Hey,' Seb answered his phone with a bright smile when he noticed who was calling. The person on the other side of the phone was clearly excited, as even Keira could hear the female voice while standing a metre away. 'Yeah, it was very close, it could have easily gone my way,' he said and for a moment the corners of his mouth drooped a little.

Keira in the mean time finished tidying up her work place, while keeping an ear on Seb's conversation. He was explaining how qualifying went and where he felt he could have made up more time. She smiled to herself when she noticed him using his hands to explain, even though the person on the other side of the phone couldn't see it of course. He didn't seem to notice and that was what made it so adorable. He was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, but the frown between his brows showed he was concentrating on explaining every little detail. Keira was sure that the person on the other side of the phone had no clue what he was on about for half of the time, but that didn't seem to bother any of them in the slightest.

'Yes, I'm really looking forward to coming home again tomorrow,' Seb said after a short silence. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a sigh, he suddenly looked tired. 'I've missed you too,' he added. Even though he had rubbed his eyes and yawned, the fondness with which he had spoken those words hadn't got lost.

This caught Keira's attention, she felt her whole body tensing up. She hadn't paid much attention to who he was on the phone with, but of course it was Hanna. Suddenly the joy that she had felt since the end of qualifying made place for a feeling of defeat. When she looked out of the garage the sunlight had gone and thick grey clouds were now casting a shadow over the racetrack.

'Of course, I haven't forgotten. You know I won't,' Seb grinned and he was playing with the sleeves of his race suit, which he had wrapped around his hips. 'Ok, I'll talk to you later. I love you too,' and with those words he hung up the phone. He shook his head while still looking at his phone and a small smile was playing on his lips.

The last four words were still resonating in Keira's head. I love you too. She felt tears welling up and although she knew she had no reason to be upset by this, she couldn't help herself. It felt like a knife was stabbed between her ribs and someone had ripped her heart out of her chest. She had difficulties breathing and she didn't dare turn around, as Seb would see how upset she was. She couldn't show weakness, she shouldn't show weakness. Without thinking what she was doing she grabbed her stuff, almost forgetting her jacket in the process and pushed herself past other team members. Someone was calling her name, but she didn't react. She needed to get out, now. It took a lot of effort to keep her composure and as soon as she exited the garage, tears were streaming down her face.

\----------

She was now hiding in the women's toilet in RBR's hospitality. One of the only upsides of the lack of women working in the team, the toilets were a perfect place to get a moment to yourself with only a small change of someone you know running into you. She was resting her hands on the sink and looked up to her reflection in the mirror. The poor lighting enhanced her swollen red eyes and she was sure that her skin wasn't this white normally. When she looked down at her hands she noticed they were shaking and she grabbed the sides of the sink even tighter. She focussed on her breathing to get it back under control and after a few minutes she was able to get a grip on herself again. She let go of the sink and opened the tap to splash some water on her face. The cold water on her skin made her gasp for air, but she loved how it made her feel something else than pain for a moment. As if that moment with Seb in the garage wasn't bad enough. Life was so determined to make her miserable, that is was hard to keep fighting. She looked at the phone that was laying on the edge of the sink and she felt the sudden need to flush it through the toilet. This needed to stop.

The door of the toilets swung open and sudden bright light filled the tiny space. 'Hey, there you are,' Macy said slightly surprised when she noticed who was standing by the sink. 'What's going on?' she added when she spotted Keira's reflection in the mirror. She sounded worried and without waiting for an answer she pulled Keira into a hug.

She didn't know what to say and just let her friend put her arms around her. It was exactly what she needed right now and she was grateful that she was here. Sometimes she didn't know what she wanted herself and that frustrated her. On one hand she wanted to be left alone and on the other one she wanted to be seen.

With a soft movement Macy detached herself from Keira, so that she could look her in the eyes. 'Keir, talk to me. What happened? Half an hour ago you were all smiles and now you're like... this,' she ended hesitantly, as if she was afraid to insult her friend.

Without saying anything Keira pointed at her phone. The look on her face gave away what she wanted to say, but couldn't put into words. When Macy looked at what Keira was pointing at, it dawned on her what must be going on. She whistled through her teeth and her eyes darkened.

'Do you mind?' Macy asked while her hand hovered about the still innocent looking phone.

Keira shook her head and for some reason couldn't tear her eyes away from the phone. She braced herself for the reaction of her friend, as she knew it wouldn't be pretty. After a moment of silence where Macy was reading the message, a sharp intake of breath that followed confirmed just that.

'For fuck's sake Keir, this has to stop. He can't do this to you,' Macy's voice was trembling, the anger almost making it impossible for her to keep her voice under control. She looked at the phone in her hand as if it was something disgusting. 'That guy's got some balls. If I could get my hands on him,' she said through gritted teeth.

Macy handed back the phone to Keira, but the message was still visible on the screen. Keira did her best not to look at it, but her eyes kept being drawn back to the mass of words that had caused her so much pain. With every word she read again, the knot in her stomach tightened.

**Unknown - Not responding to my last message? How impolite. I thought you were raised better. If you don't reply this time, I'll have my methods to make sure you reply next time. Don't worry about that love ;)**

The phone got pulled from her hand again and the screen was locked immediately.

'That's enough Keir, no point of torturing yourself even more,' although still sounding angry, Macy's voice was now soft and clear. 'What you need is a distraction from all of this. Looking at that message and getting yourself all worked up about it won't change anything and you need your focus for the race tomorrow.'

Keira looked up at her friend and although of course she was right, she didn't know what possible could get her mind off this. With everything that she did she was reminded of David, or Seb for that matter.

'Jenson and I are having dinner tonight, you can join us. We're going to the restaurant in the hotel, so you don't have to go outside, but at least you won't be alone in your room.'

'I don't want to interrupt your date with Jenson,' Keira began. She was looking back in the mirror again, to fix the shirt she was wearing and her hair. 'I mean, you already don't see a lot of each other.'

Macy smiled and leant back against the wall. 'Don't worry, we will have enough time alone later in his room,' she winked.

That made Keira chuckle and she shot her friend a knowing smile. She had to agree, it felt nice to be able to smile again. Maybe having dinner with them wasn't such a bad idea. 'Ok, I'll come,' she agreed.

A big smile appeared on her friend's face. 'That's my girl!' she said proudly. 'Let's get out of here then.' She hooked her arm through Keira's and both girls smiled when leaving the toilet.


End file.
